Morning Sickness or Mourning Sickness?

[Anemone Sellar]

Escaping her emotional conversation with Dragan, Anemone made her way to the queens rooms: where she was supposed to have been already. As she walked she could smell meat roasting down in the kitchens and feel herself becoming more and more nauseous from the smell. She walked faster, faster, until she was practically sprinting when she reached the correct hall. She whipped herself into the correct room and nearly slammed the door behind her as she fell to her knees, skidded across the floor, grabbed the empty chamber pot from under the far side of the bed barely in time. She vomited violently, her stomach continuing to heave even after it was empty once, twice, thrice. She wiped her mouth on her own handkerchief, now drawn from inside her sleeve, and looked up in horror to realize that Avalynn O'Shea, Eleesa Demarais, and Alice Calder were all present already. She hadn't had time to stop on her way in, and now it was too late to hide what had just happened--the evidence was all clearly in front of her. 

Anemone's face crumpled, and she began to sob with abandon as she pushed the metal container away and buried her face in her hands. There would be no hiding it from the queen, now. She couldn't lie to her face--to any of their faces. If someone asked what was wrong, she'd simply have to admit it. She could hardly breathe through her tears, but if someone did ask, she'd gather herself enough to say "Morning sickness. King Edward's doing." before returning to her tears. 

[Eleesa Demarais]

The girls were helping her get dressed for the day when the door to her chambers burst open. Eleesa jumped in her seat, climbing up to her feet immediately as it took her a few seconds to realize it had been Anemone. Ever since Edward's funeral, the queen simply expected the worst. Perhaps she was worrying for nothing, thinking anyone would want to try some foolish attempt on her life, but that was how much trust she didn't have in the council. Who knew what their plans were.

The necklace that Avalynn had been trying to fasten around her neck had fallen to the ground, shattering to pieces, but she didn't seem to notice. She was watching Ane now, getting sick in the chamber pot. Was she ill again? She had seemed alright at the party. Then again, it seemed to be on and off.

"Anemone...are you alright?" she asked quietly. Then it hit her. All of a sudden, everything spiraled out of control and dared to strike her down. A hand pressed against her own stomach as though she was about to be sick herself, and those bright eyes were suddenly wide at the girl's words.

Eleesa nearly fainted, losing balance for a moment before she could catch herself on the vanity. "Oh dear God..." she murmured, pain in her voice. How did she not know, not suspect before? That son-of-a-bitch had taken one of her dearest friends, and even in death was causing problems. Problems she had to fix.

But she didn't blame Anemone. She never did. How could she? All she wanted to do right now was go to her but she worried her knees would buckle. Still, Anemone's tears were bringing ones into her own eyes, and she felt a guilty sob welling up in her chest. She should have been strong enough to stop it...and she hadn't been. Now look what happened.

How did she expect to protect her sons and provide for a kingdom?

"Ane..." Eleesa tried to speak, to comfort her, to say anything, but she didn't know what to say. Telling her how sorry she was wasn't going to solve anything.

[Avalynn O'Shea]

Avalynn had been telling a silly story about her younger brother and a conversation they had earlier that morning when the door flew opened and seemingly startled all of them. Eleesa quickly stood up, causing her to drop the necklace she had been trying to put around her neck. She quickly crouched down, but it was too late, the thing had shattered.

Light blue eyes glanced up and over to Anemone as she got sick in the chamber pot, her hands went to cover her mouth, mostly hiding her shock, but also to try and prevent herself from being sick.

But when those words escaped her lips, her gaze quickly shifted to the queen, eyes widened. She quickly stood back up to try and catch and steady Eleesa as she nearly fainted. Oh, dear.

Avalynn wasn't quite sure what to do at that moment. There was a broken necklace that needed to be cleaned up, a queen that she was trying to steady, and her dear friend pained, sick and scared. She frowned and helped Eleesa sit back in her seat before she made her way to Anemone and crouched down next to her. "Come here, darling..." She held her arms open for the woman to fall into her embrace, and she would help her back to her feet. For once, Avalynn was speechless and had no idea what to say.

[Alice Calder]

Alice had always loved helping her Queen look her best. The dark-haired woman herself was always dressed as if attending some formal event befitting a princess, but it was her belief that the Queen should always look even nicer; should always claim the spotlight and gazes of admiration.

Alice had taken to adding the fine details, making sure that every piece was fitting into its place perfectly when the door burst open. In an instant reaction, Alice had reached beneath the skirt of her long dress to rip her dagger from its holster at her thigh, only to replace it when she noticed that it was Ane and not a threat to the women inside the room. As the girl promptly began puking into one of the pots, Alice frowned, looking at Eleesa as her highness spoke. She was deadpan as the secret was revealed, something Alice had come to suspect. Of course, there hadn't been enough evidence to support her suspicions. Not until now, that is.

Avalynn was quick to rush and comfort the young woman while Alice instead placed a soft hand on her Queen's shoulder, a silent show of support for the woman she held so dear. She could only imagine what sort of inner turmoil this information would cause Eleesa.

[Anemone Sellar]

Anemone truly did fall into Avalynn's open arms, simply letting herself lean into the taller girl with her hands still pressed to her face for a few seconds before she was ready to rise. She was beyond grateful for her friend's kindness at that moment. She had been so sure she would get none, once she was forced to reveal her situation.

Once she was upright she got a better look at the queen's reaction, and her distress only intensified the sobs that were shaking Anemone's tiny frame. She had known this would be a harsh blow to the already weary queen, which is why she'd avoided telling her the day of the funeral. When she'd left her rooms this morning, she'd fully intended on keeping her secret for a few days more, in an attempt to let things settle--and, selfishly, to earn a bit more time with her friends before everything was ruined. Now it was too late.

"I'm so sorry, y-your highness," she managed to say between breaths, "I would never, never, want to cause you more pain. I tried to...I tried to be careful after he came for me." She turned away, ashamed at even the memory of Edwards hands on her. Just the thought made her gag reflex start up again, and she swallowed hard to fight it. "I'm so sorry..." She repeated with a crack in her voice.

[Eleesa Demarais]

This was her fault. This was all her own fault. It had been bad enough when her husband dared to lay a finger on Anemone, but the cruelty did not end. Even in death, Edward was to haunt them all, and her dear friend was going to suffer further. Eleesa's world was suddenly spinning, and she could only imagine what Ane was going through, what she must be thinking.

The queen barely registered that Avalynn helped her sit back down before rushing to her friend's side. Alice's hand was on her shoulder and Eleesa shuddered as if startled before slipping her own hand over the young woman's, desperately seeking her strength to stay upright.

What could she say? What could she even do? Anemone was probably terrified and all the queen could do was sit there with wide eyes, beginning to glisten with tears. She tried several times to get to her feet, to go to her, but her hands and knees were shaking.

Why did that son-of-a-bitch have to touch her?! Why couldn't he have just been content with what he already had?

As Anemone managed to stand up, Eleesa was still watching her, internally screaming at herself to speak. And when the girl apologized, as if taking the blame, the woman finally cracked. Tears fell down her cheeks as she rose to her feet, moving to Ane and immediately embracing her. The sobs shook violently in her chest and she feared she would not be understood as she struggled to speak. "Do not apologize. Please don't. This wasn't your fault. I should have been stronger to keep him away...now look what he's done." Her tears were uncontrollable and she kissed the top of Anemone's head.

[Avalynn O'Shea]

Avalynn knew about the king's advances on a lot of the ladies around court. She had somehow been lucky enough to avoid him, It had shocked her that the king had picked on sweet little Anemone and only made her hate him even more. Her friend did not deserve what had happened to her. And now matters were just a lot worse.

She held Anemone and helped her rise back up to her face, but still held her tightly as she sobbed and apologized to the queen. Avalynn frowned deeply and gently brushed her fingers through Anemone's hair, trying to calm and console her the best she could. Her bright blue eyes glanced up to the queen with a look of sorrow. Neither one of these women deserved this and Avalynn would have taken this from Anemone if she could. If she had known Edward was going after her, she would have stepped between them and offered herself if it meant he'd leave Anemone alone.

She finally let go of Anemone when the queen stepped over to them and embraced her. Avalynn raised her hands to cover her mouth, trying to fight back her own tears as she watched them. But what the queen said next caused her to shake her head. "Do not blame yourself, either...My queen. Neither one of you are at fault for what that man did...And how he was. I will not stand here and allow either of you to blame yourselves!" Her voice was stern but also gentle as she tried to console both of them.

[Alice Calder]

Alice gave Eleesa's shoulder a gentle squeeze as The Queen's hand found hers. She could feel her shaking and while Alice too had begun to burn with rage, she remained quiet, dropping her hand when Eleesa finally found her strength and moved towards the sobbing Ane. Her eyes found the floor as her hands clasped in front of her before she turned on her heel, making her way to a small bowl filled with warm water on the dresser nearby. She grabbed a clean wash cloth, soaking it before wringing it out and approaching Ane, holding it out to her. "Take this to clean yourself up with." She cooed gently with a smile that was as kind as she could muster.

If and when Ane had taken the wash cloth, or one of the lovely ladies had taken it on her behalf, Alice turned again, beginning to pick up the broken necklace and place the pieces next to the bowl of water before she turned to face the women, not moving from her place. "If I may be so bold.." She spoke slowly. "You are very brave for coming forward, Anemone." She said. While there may have been a lack of compassion in her tone, it was there, buried underneath her hardened expression and voice. "I do not think anyone is to blame except for Edward." She was stern then, refusing to speaking of him as a King. "But.. Since the damage has already been done.." She moved to stand next to Eleesa, opening her arms. "Tell us how we can help you." She said, offering another more genuine smile with a lightness in her usually emotionless eyes.

Alice was typically the type to tell one to buck up and deal with it. But this required a little more gentleness than she was accustomed to, and it was clear she was struggling with it slightly, though she was doing her best. She couldn't imagine what the girl had been through, couldn't imagine what that sort of.. abuse was like. If she had to guess, it was torturous and it made her pity the poor girl. She simply couldn't imagine.

[Anemone Sellar]

Anemone watched in awe, and partial horror, as the queen rose and pulled her into a hug. She returned the queen's embrace wit every bit of the strength in her little body--she loved Eleesa more than anyone else in the world, she thought, and it broke Anemone's heart to hear her queen claiming the blame for this. Before she could speak up, Avalynn was chiming in, and she nodded her agreement. And then even Alice was chiming in, offering her a washcloth for her face.

She accepted the cloth and wiped her mouth with one corner, and her eyes with another, taking deep breaths to try and regain some measure of calm. She was so lucky to have friends like these. She almost started weeping again, first from the gratitude, then from fear of losing them. She sniffled, trying to keep herself in check, but Alice's comment about her being brave was more than she could take. She hiccuped her way into another sob, and when Alice opened her arms to offer a hug as well, Anemone reached out with one arm to snag her and pull her into the hug with Eleesa, then the other to fumble for Avalynn as well. She squeezed all of them in that group hug, those amazing women who she loved so dearly.

"Thank you, all of you," she said once she'd regained her voice. "I honestly...I have no idea what to do next. I'd been half planning to go hide myself somewhere in the country to raise the baby. I can't harm it. I won't." She released them from the hug and pressed her hands to her abdomen, where she knew a new life was growing. "But I also know I can't stay here with all of you with Edward's bastard at my side. that's just too much." She mimicked Alice, refusing to call him king--she liked the venom that it gave her, giving her just a bit of her pride back.

[Eleesa Demarais]

Now that she started crying, she couldn't seem to stop; holding Anemone close against her as though she refused to ever let her go. Of course Eleesa blamed herself. These women were under her employ, thus under her protection, and none of it seemed to matter. She was suddenly overwhelmed with fear, with concern for the delicate girl in her arms, and she was furious. A part of her wished Edward still lived if only so that she could finally rack up the courage to truly give him what he deserved.

Avalynn's words pulled her from these dark thoughts, her features softening a little from the turmoil that plagued her. She didn't know what was going to happen now. Did anyone outside this room know? Did they suspect? It would certainly catch the attention of the council, but what was more disconcerting was what it would do to Ane and her reputation. A woman only had particular worth at court, as disgusting as that was, and should the girl be caught with a bastard child...

Eleesa couldn't think about that right now. But she would handle it. Somehow. She unfurled one of her arms from around Ane to take Ava's hand in a silent, grateful thank you. She was always a ray of sunshine, always having the words to offer even in the most darkest of times. And then there was Alice. Her beautiful and deadly shadow whom Eleesa adored just as much. The girl was often blunt and to the point, which was something the queen often still needed. And right now was one of those times.

"You're right, Alice. Both of you are." That bright gaze flickered between her and Avalynn before settling upon Ane's crying face, giving her a little space to clean herself up. "Leave the next up to me, love, alright? But this doesn't leave the room, understand?" Although the pain was still evident in her tone, she was gathering her composure back. However, she faltered just slightly when the girl mentioned that she could not rid herself of the child. Eleesa's heart ached to have that sudden thought- this horrible thought of wishing she would. How could she even dare think that?

Brushing it aside, the queen nodded in understanding. As far as she was concerned, it was Ane's baby. No one else's. Eleesa would not be that woman, she would not. She smiled slightly when her smallest lady drew them all into an awkward hug before releasing them. "You will stay. If you wish to," she assured. She didn't think she could be without Anemone by her side, bastard child or not. It couldn't matter, it wouldn't matter.

Bright eyes regarded Alice then. "We need to ensure that this doesn't get out. I need you more as my eyes and ears than ever." Eleesa held back a sigh, trying to devise a plan. "We may have to marry you to an eligible suitor as soon as possible, Anemone...if we wish to keep this a secret." Looking to her, she felt bad for it, not wishing to force a marriage on the girl if she was not ready for it. Yet, at this point, it was either that or send the girl away...and, as selfish as that was, she couldn't bring herself to.

[Avalynn O'Shea]

Avalynn nodded in agreement with Alice. Anemone was very brave for coming right out and telling them, rather than to keep it hidden until she could no longer. She wasn't certain if she would have been able to do the same, and she admired her courage.
A smile was offered to Alice as she agreed with her that no one was to blame except for Edward. Once the queen admitted they were right, she was happy she wouldn't argue them. Whether she believed it, or not, Avalynn wasn't certain, but she would remind the queen until she was blue in the face, if she ever accused herself of being at fault again. Either one of the ladies, too. Although Avalynn often put herself down for things, she never allowed anyone else to do so, because she didn't want others to feel the way she often did about herself.

There was so much happening and so many things being said, including the thoughts swarming around in her own mind, that Avalynn didn't realize she was being pulled into the group hug. She stumbled slightly and had the other ladies not been there, she most likely had fallen flat on her face. She caught herself quickly but played it off as she was just falling into the hug, and she squeezed them tightly, but gently.

Avalynn didn't need to be told to keep this in the room. Although she loved hearing gossip, she wasn't really one to spread it, unless it was happy news, of course. She hated the courtly drama and did her best to avoid it, mostly because half the time it wasn't true.

She stood straight once the hug was released, but grabbed hold of Anemone's hand and squeeze it gently. As the queen explained that she may need to marry as soon as possible, she frowned a bit. While Queen Eleesa was right, she felt bad for her dear friend. Her choice to keep the baby would cost her a great many things and change her life significantly.

Avalynn sighed before speaking up, "Well... Perhaps you will meet someone at the Hounds and Hares chase... Or the Yule ball. The perfect time to hook up with someone!  Even if just for a night..." Hint. Hint.  It wasn't exactly something to joke about, but Avalynn was trying to make light of the situation, or offer up a solution.

[Alice Calder]

She was pulled into the group of women, only released when Anemone had pulled away. When she used Edward’s name instead of his title, the tenacity caused Alice to smirk with a look of approval. She returned Avalynn’s smile before her attention was on Eleesa as she found her voice enough to speak.

Alice nodded her understanding as Eleesa finished speaking, her gaze looking to each of the women in the room briefly. She couldn’t be sure what she would have done in Ane’s shoes, but she knew that Edward’s fate would have been vastly different if she would have known.

She remained silent when Eleesa regarded everyone in the room and then Anemone, giving her the option to stay if she wished. But as the Queen’s eyes looked to her, she focused, dipping her head as Eleesa spoke directly to her. “Of course, your Majesty.” She said in response. Avalynn spoke then and Alice turned her attention back to Ane. “And we’re here if you need anything at all.” She added to the end of Avalynn’s statement.

[Anemone Sellar]

Anemone bit her lip at the suggestion of marrying quickly. It made sense, of course it did, but... well, was it really fair to ask someone else to raise the king's bastard? And was it better or worse if they didn't ask at all? Of course, every marriage was expected to produce children, that was the point of the union, after all. And to have a child so soon after the wedding was thought to be quite fortunate. But it still felt slimy.

On the other hand, the queen was right. She had a chance of salvaging her life and her reputation...if she hurried. She would simply put her trust in her queen and her friends. If they believed this was the best idea, then she would follow their lead.

Well... Perhaps you will meet someone at the Hounds and Hares chase... Or the Yule ball. The perfect time to hook up with someone! Even if just for a night..." Anemone smiled weakly at Ava's not-quite-joke. It really was the perfect place to start, if her goal was to marry as quickly as possible. She'd just have to do her best. And if there happened to be one specific soldier she already felt drawn to...was that alright? The last thing she wanted was to put the man who had been so kind to her (apparently without even being aware of what he was doing, or how much she had needed to hear what he had to say) in a bad position. It was unfair of her to even think of doing that to him. But...

"I'll keep my eye out, certainly. I trust your judgment, your majesty."

[Eleesa Demarais]

It was impossible to stop her heart from pounding inside her chest, but Eleesa did her best to hide it. To hide everything that was currently going through her head. She had ideas, but they were risky, and it required careful planning that she simply could not handle at the moment. So, for now, she forced herself not to worry about the specifics. They had to get through the holiday and pray something fell together. If not, well...she would figure that part out.

Her smile was weak with Avalynn's comment. What would have caused the queen to laugh didn't seem to this time, although her maid was sweet to try and lighten the mood. Even Alice was chiming in to make Anemone feel better. Eleesa loved these women fiercely, and she would clearly do anything for either one of them. Change was upon them in more ways than one, and she was going to charge this time, no matter the cost.

"I love you all. I hope you realize this. Without you, I would certainly have been lost years ago..." She was struggling not to succumb to further emotion as she held back a sob. Those watery eyes drifted back to Ane with the deepest look of sincerity. "We'll figure this out. I promise you." Maybe she shouldn't promise, but she was doing it nonetheless.