Everything is Awkward

[Pearce Lockheed]

Pearce chuckled faintly, still quite embarrassed but not panicking so much. Well, as long as he didn't look up at-

Perci, right. Fuck. He winced and bit his lip. He really wanted to continue to pretend his cousin wasn't there. "It's P-Percival," Pearce mumbled at the same time as his cousin offered his own correction. He gave Zander a hard look. Really? "Be n-nice..." he breathed, rather gently.

He was not feeling better. Well, in some ways maybe but not in others. He took a breath and let it out slowly, glancing at Percival and his frustrated look and felt himself start to get nervous again. But he was committed.

His gaze settled on the redhead and avoided his cousin. "Zander and his sister live here. In the c-carriage house. He's my...my..." he struggled to relax enough to say the word and looking at Zander only grew more and more flustered. One step at a time. Breathe in between. He looked at the redhead for help.

[Zander Brogthamon]

"I am being nice." He grumbled with a playfully halfhearted pout. Why it was so important that he be called Percival was beyond him. It seemed like such a long name. But he wouldn't argue with either of the men about nicknames. With a soft sigh he stood up reluctantly from Pearce before helping the noble to his feet as well.

Hearing the way Pearce stumbled over the word Zander smiled and eyed down Percival. "We're very close and have been for a while." As far as he was concerned it could be left at that. If Pearce wasn't ready to come out to his family just yet he wouldn't push him. Though it also wasn't his place to do it for him.

"Well I've certainly never been this 'close' with my friends." Percival insisted as he crossed his arms over her chest.

"Maybe you just have shitty friends." Zander stated with a laugh. That comment at least earned the younger blonde turning his gaze from his cousin onto the redhead.

[Pearce Lockheed]

Pearce groaned faintly and closed his eyes as he stood up, taking a few pointed deep breaths to gather his equilibrium.

Very close. At Zander's skirting around the word, Pearce shook his head. "N-no, that's not what I..." His gaze shifted from Zander to Percival. He swallowed and looked back at Zander with a deep breath. He wasn't ready. But he was also sure he would never be ready. And he knew it would make Zander more comfortable and he hoped it would make him more comfortable too. Eventually. He wanted to say it, he just...certain consonants he struggled with more than others, especially when he was nervous. Boyfriend, partner, significant other, beau...so many of them started with the wrong sound. "Zander and I are romantically involved," he managed softly, but didn't directly stumble over any of the words.

[Zander Brogthamon]

The term "romantically involved" seemed to make Percival short circuit. Zander was more so surprised that Pearce had actually said something about it. As much as he wanted to kiss him that might be a bit too much for both of the blondes so he'd have to contain himself for the moment.

After recomposing himself Percivals eyes darted between his cousin and the redhead, who had a far too smug smile on his face. "What...what do you mean romantically involved?" The question made Zander raise a curious brow. What was so confusing about what he'd said?

"We're dating. Boyfriends, partners, lovers, whatever you want to call it." He stated plainly as if explaining something to a confused child. The more he spoke though the redder Percivals face seemed to get. Though Zander wasn't sure if it was from shock, anger, or embarrassment. Until suddenly the blonde started laughing. Which didn't quite sit right with him.

"Cousin, you can't be serious!" Zander grit his teeth at the comment but kept his own to himself. He promised he wouldn't start a fight.

[Pearce Lockheed]

He wasn't so much shocked at himself as he was embarrassed. Not because he was ashamed of his relationship with Zander, but moreso what Percival and the rest of his family would think should the man say something. He turned his attention to his cousin, a heavy amount of concern and maybe...fear? on his face, worrying what he would say. Nothing good, he imagined.

The question made Pearce hold his breath. It was one of this moments where if he said something now, he might be able to pass it off as a joke. That Percival didn't understand he could have a connection to another man was obvious even before he started laughing.

It actually hurt more than being yelled at.

He'd been belittled and teased for a lot of things in his life and he supposed he shouldn't have expected anything different now.

Pearce flinched at the suggestion his life choice was a joke and he was trying to pull one over on his cousin. "I am serious," he insisted in a small voice, folding his arms around himself and trying not to look at the floor and failing. He did really like the carpet in the library. It was soft and thick and a plethora of purple shades, from pale lavender to deep indigo.

He placed one hand on Zander's shoulder, not so much aware that the young man wanted to fight his cousin but more for his own moral support.

[Zander Brogthamon]

When Pearce stated he was serious it didn't appear to make Percival take him anymore serious. "You are the head of this family. It's already an embarrassment enough that you haven't married yet." On instinct Zander nearly stepped towards him aggressively if just to put himself between the two nobles. Feeling Pearces hand on his shoulder though made him pause. Instead he reached up to place his hand on top of Pearces reassuringly.

"How long do you plan on keeping with this little..." Percival paused in thought for a moment as he motioned to Zander. "We'll say experiment." Zander didn't particularly care about the blondes opinions of him or his sexuality but having that aimed at Pearce made his blood boil.

"I highly suggest you leave and think about your next words to Pearce very carefully." Zander tried to keep his voice calm and level as he spoke. He didn't want Pearce any more uncomfortable or upset but it was becoming increasingly harder.

"Or what, soldier? Are you going to hit me?"

[Pearce Lockheed]

Percival reminded Pearce entirely too much of his father with those words. Of course he had a lot to say on the matter. On being head of the family. On not being married or having children of his own. On his relationship with Zander. On the fact that this 'experiment' was not an experiment at all, that it never had been.

The noble had a lot of opinions. He just felt entirely too attacked and uncomfortable and robbed of his ability to be himself (why did he have to defend himself to his cousin anyway? That was frustrating feeling) and consumed by the pit in his stomach to say anything. He swallowed dryly and kept his eyes on the carpet. Some head of the family.

He couldn't put any sound to the words, but he mouthed 'I love him' a few times to himself and the floor. Zander knew that already at least, but it seemed imperative information despite his inability to direct it at Percival.

Zander's aggressive defense made him flinch slightly. Not from the potential violent implications but from the general sound of his voice pulled him back to the moment a little. Pearce gave the redhead an almost pleading smile, at once appreciative and worried.

His eyes whipped to Percival as he goaded his boyfriend and part of their prior conversation slowly came back to him. Were they really going to do this again? Hadn't they just argued? It took him a few heartbeats however to fully understand.

[Zander Brogthamon]

How often did this boy really intend to push his buttons? Holding back was difficult. Painfully difficult. Every fiber in Zanders being was screaming at him to lay Percival out right then and there. Get it over with and show that words held consequences as well. Still, he held his place and instead dug his nails painfully into the palm of his hand. If just to give his mind something else to focus on. "I'm not going to hit you." Whether he was saying that to convince himself or the blonde he was uncertain.

"Pearce has been gracious enough to allow you into his home when your own parents didn't even want you." That comment seemed to take all of the fight out of Percival as his mouth opened then quickly shut. Zander watched the smaller blonde ball his hands into fists at his side then avert his gaze entirely. "Show a little respect to the only family that seems to be willing to put up with you."

Percival was silent for a long moment before wrapping his arms tight aroun himself. "I apologize, cousin." He muttered between clenched teeth.

[Pearce Lockheed]

It frustrated Pearce how related and not related he and Percival were. It made him more self conscious than normal. It also made him worry what abuse the poor boy had to live with. Which was just one of the many reasons why he really did not wish to yell at him. That Pierre had essentially kicked the man out of his home was another reason. The fact that Pearce generally disliked raising his voice another.

The blonde wasn't sure what he would do if a brawl broke out in his home (in his library no less!) but he could imagine he would not be happy. Whether that would constitute yelling or alarmed and irritated noises or shocked silence, he wasn't yet certain. Seeing Zander's face flush with annoyance made him believe it was inevitable that he would find out.

But it did seem that this time Zander wasn't going to attempt to take his frustration out on his cousin.

Pearce gaped at Zander's words. Were they true? Most definitely, but one would never hear the older man say such a thing to Percival's face! But also Pearce wasn't the type to attempt to hold something like that over another. Certainly he might dock the man's allowance or put him to work, but to use shelter and home and family against someone else was not acceptable. Everyone should be able to have those things, to have a space that was safe.

That belief was partly why Pearce had avoided much of his family the past few years. But his own comfort and safety would never trump that of someone he cared about. It was why Percival would never hear his cousin threaten to throw him out. Why Pearce pushed himself to put himself and his values out there more publicly so Zander didn't feel like a secret. Why he wanted to be comfortable with his family even if he wasn't quite yet.

Because he wanted to be a good lover. A better family. A best friend.

Or something melodramatic like that. Pearce found himself blushing and looked at the floor again before rubbing the back of his neck. He squeezed Zander's shoulder briefly.

"It's...alright, Percival." He looked back up at him. "Did...uh...did you need something when you came here to talk to me?" He smiled uncertainly, still not sure how to take the man's reaction but really wanting to move past it. Pearce wasn't sure his cousin really meant the apology, but he would do his best to take it positively.

[Zander Brogthamon]

Zander wasn't one to laud things over peoples heads. Especially not in the case of having safety and shelter. He knew all too well just how important those were. But his anger and frustration got the better of him. If he couldn't physically bring the man down a peg cutting him with words would have to do.

Still, he did understand that what he said may have been too far. Nevertheless true. Pearce would probably still be unhappy with him but it was better than hitting him right? No yelling. No more fighting. Just left with an uncomfortable weight hanging in the air between the soldier and young noble. The look on Percivals face though did make him feel a little bad. Not much though.

Percival was silent and stock still for a moment. Don't talk. Don't move. Don't be noticed. That's where he was safe. "It's not of any importance." All emotion was drained from his now quiet voice. The same way he'd learned to speak to his parents.

"I'll leave you be." The blonde was quick to turn on a heel and quickly but quietly begin making his way back to his room. If just to go unnoticed. Zander ran his hands over his face and growled to himself. "Okay, that one I'm going to need to apologize for."

[Pearce Lockheed]

The Marquis was expecting a fight (physical or verbal) to break out right up until Percival answered his question. As uncomfortable as his cousin was, Pearce hadn't seen that shift coming. Up until now, it had taken a third party to remove one of the young men from each other's proverbial throats. For Percival to clam up and back off...

He was caught off balance by the frosty lack of resolution to the moment, and was immediately more concerned for his cousin than for himself. He knew that tone. While the other man could speak far clearer than Pearce ever had to his own parents, it was something he had done himself plenty of times. No attention was better than any attention because any attention never ended well. Hearing it now directed back at himself hurt. This wasn't what he wanted either. It also brought back a lot of memories. Ones he didn't-

Zander's suggestion that he would apologize graciously shattered the unwelcome reverie. Pearce took a sharp breath and spared his boy friend another disappointed look before nodding. Yes, that had been a little too far, but...well...the nobleman supposed they were all on the same page now. More or less. "To Percival. Later." As for their own conversation...well, they could handle that shortly. Pearce imagined he would take to bed early tonight after all of this. "You...we'll talk in my office tonight," he said, sounding a lot more firm than he meant.

Patting Zander on the shoulder in subtle suggestion to stay here, Pearce made after his cousin.

"Percival!" he called down the hall, running a hand through his hair and doing his best to ignore the physical and emotional discomfort of the moment. "Tell your cousin what he can do for you," he suggested, managing a bit easier of a smile. Almost as if nothing had happened. Almost as if he wasn't terrified what else the young man might say to him.

[Percival Lockheed]

Zander didn't say anything in response as Pearce spoke to him. He had a strong feeling the man was going to run to check on his cousin and he didn't blame him. With a quiet nod the redhead watched him leave the room before groaning to himself again. "Fuck..."

Percival flinched when he heard his name called. It was never a good sign. Still, he froze to let his cousin catch up to him. With held breath he braced for something to happen. Be screamed at, berated, shoved, slapped, something. His eyes shut tight and his shoulders tensed as Pearce started to speak but...that wasn't what he was used to. Slowly Percival untensed and let his shoulders drop as he cautiously looked up at his cousin. There was a deep resemblance between Pearce and his father but Pearce seemed softer. Younger, obviously. His face less wrinkled by years of pent up anger and disappointments. Still, he was spoken to like a spooked child.

Percival quickly averted his eyes to the ground. The tile was nice. "I...It wasn't my place to talk about your...interests." He managed out in a quick hushed tone.

[Pearce Lockheed]

"S-sorry," he added quickly, seeing the way his cousin tensed. He wasn't entirely sure why. It wasn't as if he and Percival had ever talked about their somewhat similar upbringing, but it was all too familiar for the lord of the house.

There was a fine line between giving the man the space he needed to think and breath and be and the comfort of having family who honest to god cared close by. Pearce new from experience he could really only offer that sort of relationship. He couldn't make Percival talk to him, let alone like him.

"Oh, uh..." he wasn't prepared to talk about his interests in any capacity, though in following his cousin he had opened himself to that potentiality and the ridicule that might come with it. This wasn't ridicule, but...he still didn't have words. As it was, Pearce sort of left the admission there on the tile where Percival was staring.

Finally, he tried again, his smile a bit smaller, but grateful. "It really is alright," he insisted. It wasn't, but...that wasn't what he wanted to talk about. "What can... Are you unhappy here, Percival?" He asked, concerned. He wasn't entirely sure that was what he wanted to say, but there were quite a few things at once on his mind. "I...don't know what it was like for you at home but... You're my cousin, you can always talk to me."

[Percival Lockheed]

Percival was used to being the one doing the apologizing. He was used to being the one told he was in the wrong and he just needed to shut up. When asked if he was unhappy he paused for a moment and thought. His own happiness had never been taken into consideration. It didn't matter whether or not he did or didn't want something. "Unhappy?" He asked with a confused furrow of his brow.

After another thought he idly toyed with a loose string on his shirt as he spoke. "You...You let me talk..." He started plainly as he finally ripped the string away. "Father says those who have nothing important to say are best to keep their mouths shut..." Breaking old rules and habits was hard. While he knew his cousin Percival didn't really know him. As far as he was aware he could be just like every Lockheed man he'd come into contact with.

"The soldier...I just...I don't understand why you care about him. Why you care about any of them." That was getting far off topic but it was all he could really think about at the moment. Thinking of the redhead made him slink back all over again. As if he was trying to make himself small. "I think I'm not unhappy here." There was an answer at least.

[Pearce Lockheed]

Pearce smiled encouragingly, though internally he felt a little bit punched in the stomach. So some of his instincts had been right. It didn't make him like it. "By my estimation, our f-fathers were never very good listeners." It was a fact that he attempted to smile through and couldn't. As much as he wanted to make a joke about it, it wasn't a topic he enjoyed.

"Zander can be...impulsive. But he's young. You b-both are. DEspite that, he cares a lot about people, often to his own detriment. I..." Pearce blushed, feeling carried away with his words. "I care about both of you." Not where he had been going with that but it was all he could think f to say without wading into deeper waters he desperately didn't want to.

"Is there something that would make you happy?" It was a loaded question, of course, but he desperately wanted Percival to understand he wasn't here to hurt him. He wasn't trying to take sides between his boyfriend and his family, but he had a better understanding of how to resolve the issue with Zander than he did with his cousin. Pearce honestly wanted to suggest they do something more than just dinner together, but he wasn't sure what his cousin's interests were.