Everything is Awkward

[Zander Brogthamon]

Running did help the redhead clear his mind. He'd even been joined but a certain small bear who was able to keep up without running off to chase after something else. Once he'd calmed down enough with soft panting he saw Heather standing to the side as if she was waiting for him. As he walked over to her she informed him that Pearce was waiting for him when he was ready to talk. She agreed to take Whisky back to Briella as Zander put his tunic back on and made his way inside.

There were some nerves about talking to Pearce after blatantly using his magic but they couldn't just ignore each other the rest of the night. With a soft knock he opened the door, still looking rather like a kicked puppy. "Miss me?" He asked teasingly with a slightly nervous smile.

With a soft sigh he stepped fully inside and dragged his fingers through his hair. "I'm...I'm really sorry you had to see me like that." He was in fact sorry for that at least. Zander hadn't wanted to stress out or upset Pearce but that seems to be exactly what he did.

[Pearce Lockheed]

Pearce had had words for the redhead. A lot. Some of them not very pleasant but all of them concerned. Now, after the moment...he still felt anxious but less directed.

He looked up at Zander with a smile. "Always," he said. And he meant it. He didn't want to be mad at Zander and he wasn't anymore but he was still...frustrated. Apprehensive. His pulse was still just as fast as it had been even the half hour ago that the arguing had happened, just for a different reason.

At least the tea had helped with his headache finally.

"I'm s-sorry you were brought to it. But..." he looked away and back to the window for a moment, fiddling with his jacket. Pearce looked back to Zander. "Zander, you can't...you can't..." He grimaced and finally managed to figure out something close to what he wanted to say. "Do that. Use your mmmagic like that. It's just like hitting s-someone." He shifted uncomfortably. It had been a long time since he talked about violence.

Sure, Zander hadn't hurt Percival, but that was always how it started. And Pearce had very strong feelings about hurting people.

"I don't...I won't st-stand for that. And I won't stand for Percival harassing you either. I t-talked to him." His cousin should behave while Pearce was present, at least.

[Zander Brogthamon]

Bringing up his magic made the redhead cringe as he chewed on his bottom lip. Every single person who'd seen and knew about his power wound up finding him terrifying. There was still a deep seated fear of being hunted down and killed but that wasn't something he liked thinking about. Idly he fidgeted with the bracelet around his wrist before swallowing hard and shaking his head.

"I haven't used my magic intentionally on someone in years but I'm not going to sit by and let someone bad talk people I love." He stepped closer to Pearce just to close a bit more of the space between them.

"I don't care what he thinks or says about me but talking bad about Briella or you won't go without consequences and I won't apologize for that." As much as he didn't want to make things any more difficult there was only so much he could take. "And as much as I love and respect you I don't think you talking to him is going to change his attitude."

[Pearce Lockheed]

"So after years of not, you...you use it on the first asshole you come across who happens to be my cousin? Zander, just because someone talks bad about those you c-care isn't a reason to hurt them," he insisted. So much for not being angry. The excuses rubbed him the wrong way.

"And what's more, you did so in a way I couldn't punish you for it because I wouldn't dare mention your magic wothout your say so." His voice wavered the more he spoke but did get a little louder as much as he kept trying to pause to breath. He didn't get close to yelling, it was more...fervor that drove his speech.

Pearce grimaced and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, hugging himself uncomfortably. "We are not talking about him, we are t-talking about you," he said, voice much softer. The whole while he couldn't look up at Zander. He was less and less sure he wanted to have this conversation. He felt comfortable enough to talk to Zander and not feel like he had to be submissive but at the same time he wasn't sure he could handle being so assertive.

"I...I can't have someone around who will so easily resort to violence, Zander," he very nearly whispered.

[Zander Brogthamon]

"You act as if I broke his nose or something." He said with a half hearted laugh. Certainly he may have wanted to hurt the boy but he was better than that. Even had he punched him he could stop himself with that. All he wanted to do was teach him there would be consequences to his actions. As it seemed like no else had.

"I pushed him, Pearce. The only reason I did so with my magic was because you wouldn't let me touch him." There was a waver in his usually confident tone. Though he wasn't sure if it was from fear or frustration. Knowing his own temper he dragged his fingers through his hair before pulling on it with a huff as he stepped back again. "I wouldn't have had to resort to anything had he not kept pushing me." As he tried to keep his voice low and calm there was still an irritated growl to his words.

The comment made him freeze entirely and stare at Pearce in disbelief. "Are you...Are you serious?" He asked with a laugh that held no real mirth to it.

"First of all why am I being punished for defending the only family I have left?" Feeling his voice start to raise Zander took a deep breath trying desperately to calm himself. Quickly he pulled off the bracelet and set it down before he began scratching at his wrists. "I'm a man of considerable amount of patience..." His voice was lower again and much softer than it had been.

"I love you, Pearce. I love you more than any man I've been with and you should know by now I'm not violent." He spoke slower than usual. As if he was focusing on each word that left his mouth carefully.

"If you think my magic is that terrifying. If you think I'd use it just for the hell of it..." He grit his teeth for a moment before shaking his head and marching forward towards Pearce. Without saying anything he reached out for his hand with a pained but gentle look on his face. If Pearce let him grab his hand the redhead would pull it to his lips and press soft kisses against his knuckles. "You should know me better by now..." He whispered with a pained crack in his voice.

[Pearce Lockheed]

"I d-don't...I will not have any fighting. With or without magic, that isn't the issue." He did trust Zander's self control, that wasn't what he was trying to say. He did manage to look up at Zander as the young man spoke, though he continued to fidget anxiously.

Pearce swallowed and looked away. He was entirely serious. "I'm n-not...not punishing you, Zander. I just...I can't..." he struggled to explain. It wasn't specifically Zander. As such, he had no problem with the young man approaching him, the thought of the man hurting him directly never crossed his mind. But he wasn't about to tolerate such behavior directed at someone he was responsible for. He wasn't his father. He wouldn't condone such actions. It brought up uncomfortable memories.

"I know," he said softly. "But your actions t-today don't back that up. I...it's disappointing," he said, expression concerned, eyes searching Zander's. He expected better. "I understand defending your family. I don't always like Percival. But he is always my family. And...so are you. You see my p-problem?" He lifted his hand to Zander's cheek tentatively, also attempting a sad smile.

[Zander Brogthamon]

It certainly felt like he was being punished. "My actions today were in defense of a nine year old little girl." He took another deep breath and swallowed down a whine as he felt Pearce's hand on his cheek. Zander nuzzled into the feeling and placed kisses on his palm.

"I don't...You know I don't want to make you stressed or upset." He started before turning to meet the nobles eyes. "Especially not at me." He stated teasingly with his charming crooked grin. Though it didn't quite meet his eyes.

With a sigh he pulled back a bit and chewed on his bottom lip. "I...I can promise that I won't use my magic on him again..." At least that would be an easier promise to keep than anything else. He was much more practiced in not using it at this point.

"I can promise to not start a fight," He started with a more serious tone, "But I can't promise I won't end one." As he finished his sentence the door creaked open making the redhead jump back with a surprised curse. He looked towards the open door to see Percival who glared hard at him.

"I thought my cousin sent you home." He sneered making Zander shake his head with a laugh.

"I am home, boy." He growled. Percival blinked in confusion and looked between the two men before eyeing down Pearce.

"What is he talking about?"

[Pearce Lockheed]

Pearce winced but held his moral ground. "Nothing happened to your s-sister Zander," he insisted. Yes, Percival had targeted her with his words, but nothing had happened to Briella. "But I admit...I should have stopped him s-sooner." Next time he would do better. Hopefully Zander would too.

As for Percival...he knew the younger blonde would take more convincing.

"I know," he agreed gently. "I...this just..." Pearce wanted so badly to explain but every time he tried the words failed to come out. He'd been hurt, emotionally and physically by his father. A lot. And seeing that sort of thing... He shivered.

"Or hit him," the noble insisted, but simply nodded as Zander continued. Not starting fights was a start.

Pearce dropped his hand at the sound of the door. As he looked up to see his cousin, his heart skipped a few beats and he grimaced at the flash of pain there. He felt suddenly much too hot and pressed himself against the window frame behind him. Pearce attempted to greet his cousin but he couldn't speak for a moment, his mouth working silently as the two men barked at each other.

Percival's gaze made him want to melt into the floor. "He...he...uh..." He lives here. He felt dizzy and gripped the sil behind him to hold himself up.

[Zander Brogthamon]

Seeing the way Pearce reacted made all the anger and frustration he was feeling melt away. It was instead replaced by deep worry as he stepped forward and took the nobles hand. "Hey, hey everythings okay." Considerably speaking everything was in fact not okay but Zander wanted him to calm down. He needed Pearce to know that he was there and he was calm.

Seeing the look on his cousins face and the way the redhead reacted even made Percival surprised and concerned. "Wha...What's wrong with him?" Hearing his voice was almost enough to make Zander snarl again but instead he took a deep breath and kept his eyes on Pearce. "Go get Heather." He said as calmly and evenly as he could.

Percival hesitated in the doorframe. Almost as if he was frozen in place. The blonde opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Knowing he was still standing there he turned his gaze on the other noble. "Today, preferably." As the other blonde quickly scurried off to find a woman who he couldn't even remember Zander turned back to Pearce with a soft smile.

"Deep breaths, love. It's alright."

[Pearce Lockheed]

Everything was not okay. But it should be. So Zander lived here with his sister. He paid rent. It wasn't all that odd. It was...the implications of how much he cared about Zander and what a smart person would be able to piece together.

Everything was not okay. But Zander's touch and reassurance helped. Pearce hardly heard the words, especially the ones about him as if he wasn't there. He tried to focus on breathing, he really really did. But there was a point when his vody took over. He was still dizzy and sweating and he felt like he couldn't breath or focus or hear anything.

Pearce wasn't sure when it happened, but his legs gave out and he sat down hard on the floor and while he didn't immediately feel better, it did help him feel less dizzy and less like he might pass out.

"I...uh..." he tried to force out words. He wanted things to be okay. And he was trying rather unsuccessfully to tell Zander this. He didn't want to keep stresing about this. But...maybe it wasn't so necessary to do before breathing. He wasn't quite hyperventilating but...it was dofficult to relax. He still felt faint, but unlike the other day, his chest didn't hurt. Thankfully.

[Zander Brogthamon]

When he legs gave out Zander attempted to catch him and at least help lower him to the ground. Given that he wasn't gripping his chest and didn't seem to be in any physical pain he assumed it was a panic attack and not a heart attack. Either way standing up would help neither of those.

Zander crouched down in front of him still holding onto Pearces hand. Though at this point it as much for his own benefit as it was the noblemans. When the man tried to speak the redhead hushed him softly. "We can talk later. Focus on your breathing right now." Though his voice was gentle it was firm as well. He knew any conversation they needed to have could be had when Pearce wasn't struggling to catch his breath.

Zander took the hand he was holding and placed it on his chest. It was a trick his mother had used before when he'd had panic attacks as a child. Sometimes feeling the steady heartbeat of another person and feeling the even way their chest rose and fell with deep breaths could be enough to trick anothers mind into following suit. A bit after Heather and another servant joined the room with hot tea, rags, and a large bowl of very cold water. Percival stood behind them in the doorway again. Just watching everyone else work with curious and guilt filled eyes.

Zander thanked the two staff fro their help as he took a rag and dunked it into the cold water. Once he ringed it out he placed it across the back of Pearces neck before squeezing his hand gently. Hoping to ground him back enough to calm down.

[Pearce Lockheed]

He blushed at being shushed. He knew better he just hated putting Zander on the spot like that and making his life difficult. The nobleman really wanted him and Percival to get along. He supposed...maybe he needed to get along better with his cousin too. But even if he and Percival weren't friends, they were still family.

He offered Zander a confused smile when he brought his hand to the young man's chest. It was both intimate and reassuring. His own heart was racing but feeling Zander's calm aura...it was more than just the feeling of the man's heartbeat beneath his hand. Zander might be funny and playful and sarcastic and arousing but he was also...calm and comforting at all the right moments. Pearce couldn't put into words how grateful he was.

Only part of that was because talking was difficult.

Pearce was almost surprised to see Percival and Heather and Nicholas back in the room. A sudden yelp escaped him at the cold wet cloth. "C-c-cold..." he mumbled, managing a few deep breaths.

And then he promptly decided, between Zander's attention and contact, that he didn't care about his image so much as he cared about breathing and about his boyfriend.

"Thanks, love," he managed softly, and with a blush and pointedly not looking at Percival. He wasn't sure if his cousin could hear him from the door, but he tried to pretend he didn't know he was there.

[Zander Brogthamon]

"I bet it is cold." He teased half heartedly with a small playful smile on his lips. As he managed to take some deep breaths Zander felt like he was able to breath properly himself. Even when he appeared calm and collected for Pearce he couldn't help the ball of anxiety that settled in his stomach when his boyfriend wasn't well. "That's it. Deep breaths."

Hearing the term of endeament come out of Pearces mouth seemed to make the three around him all freeze in surprise at the same time. Zanders cheeks flushed a bit pink but he couldn't help the brighter smile that tugged at his lips. "Any time." He stated with his back to the other blonde. He lifted Pearces knuckles to his lips to place small kisses on them.

"Though I'd like to not make this a habit." While Zander teased Percivals eyes widened in disbelief. What did Pearce just call him? Certainly he had to be hearing him wrong. Of course it was obvious the two men were close but they couldn't possibly be...

No. No. Percival was certain he was just hearing things in his own state of shock. There was no way the head of his own family was...intimate with other men.

[Pearce Lockheed]

Heather was more than aware of the lord's preferences. Most of his staff were. But hearing him day so in front of them? In front of the relative stranger that was Percival? That was the shocking part.

The kissing was a little too much for Pearce and he felt his heart skip a few more beats, this time a little painfully, only he was sure he was just anxious. He didn't pull away but he did turn a brighter shade a red until he realized he was being dramatic.

"S-sorry..." he added, because he couldn't help it. Pearce shivered as cold water from the cloth ran down his back. "I, uh..." a few more deep breaths and he had a semblance of control on his airway, even if he still felt...funny. he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes again. He had too many words he wanted to say and he wasn't really sure how to say them right now. He tugged Zander closer to him for a hug, wanting to use the man's closeness to calm down. Because if there was one thing that helped him be calm and in control, it was Zander. Specifically when it came to intimacy.

"I would like to...to mmmake you a habit," he teased in a quiet whisper after a moment. Not right now, of course but...he was trying to be funny.

[Zander Brogthamon]

"There's no need to apologize, love." Zander stated with a chuckle. At least there was no need to apologize to him. As far as he was concerned it was his job to be there for Pearce no matter what. Especially on his bad days. It was a job he loved even if sometimes things were a little tricky.

As he was tugged closer he let out a small air of surprise before easing into his arms. It felt right being close to Pearce. Right in a way he couldn't explain. The comment made his cheeks flush a darker red before he buried his face into the crook of the nobles neck and laughed softly. "That can be arranged."

As Heather and Nicholas left Percival stood still for a moment longer before clearing his throat loudly in an attempt to get the other mens attention. Zander pulled away from Pearce enough to look back at the other and give him his usual devilishly charming crooked smile. "Oh Perci, I didn't realize you were still there."

Percival opened his mouth to speak before the nickname caught him off guard. "My name is Percival." He sneared at the redhead who simply shrugged his shoulders. Seeming completely unbothered by his presence any longer. The blonde turned his frustrated gaze to his cousin. "I trust you're feeling a bit better now. If you could kindly explain what he," he motioned to Zander, "is still doing here."