Post by Nemeris Arundel on Mar 26, 2020 20:38:57 GMT -5
[Scene Continued from: Repairing the Roof ]
[NEMERIS] Karma? Her brows furrowed in confusion slightly, because she wasn't sure why this was karma's doing. Had he or she done something to deserve this? But she said nothing and quickly made her way inside. She peeled her soaked shawl from her shoulders and draped it on the coat hook, taking Eoin's cloak that he seemingly just tossed aside, and hung it as well. She followed him up the stairs, answering him as she did. "My room..." She wasn't sure she wanted him in there, but she was too tired and cold to care right now. When they reached the top of the stairs, she squeezed by him to get ahead of him, and she opened her door, letting him in. She pointed to the damaged spot in her ceiling in the corner of the room. Immediately after, she was reaching for a linen towel and attempted to dry her hair with it. Grey-blue eyes watched him, though, as he'd inspect his work to see it it was holding back the rain now. The wetness of her clinging clothes was now hitting her and she was shivering, her lips quivering slightly. [d]
[EOIN] He was pausing immediately halfway up the stairs when she mentioned it was her room. Turning slightly, he regarded her in a mix of surprise and curiosity. "Why...would you stay in there then?" For a year? This manor surely had other rooms she could have stayed in that didn't have the roof leaking above. That was when she slipped passed him because he was too dumbfounded by her response, but inevitably followed her again. He stepped in quietly, turning his gaze upwards. There was certainly water damage, but it was old. For now, though, he noticed, his quick patchwork seemed to be keeping out the onslaught of rain from the outside. "That should hold for awhile...hopefully." At least he was being truthful about it. When he looked back to her, though, his prideful look was quick to dissipate at noticing her shivering. "I'm...sorry for dragging you out there." And nearly getting you killed for such a stupid thing. "But just...get changed and warm before you freeze to death. I don't need that on my conscience as well..." A huff of a quiet laugh, he shook his head at himself. [d]
[NEMERIS] She had ignored his question about why she remained in her room while the damage was there. She had her reasons, probably. But mostly, she did not feel like moving everything. And the bucket under the spot worked well to collect the water, anyway.
When he confirmed that his work would hold for a while, she smiled faintly and nodded, "thank you.." But he was soon apologizing to her, which caused her to shake her head. "Stop it. You didn't know it would rain instantly like that..." She laughed and tossed the linen towel aside, braiding her hair quickly to contain the unruly mess the drying wet hair would cause eventually. Before he was telling her to change, she was already unlacing the bodice underneath her breasts, letting it fall to the floor afterwards. Her eyes shifted back to him and she raised a brow, smirking as she spoke with that sarcasm, "Really? I thought I would remain in my soaking clothes for the rest of the night." She laughed and started to peel the clinging fabric off of her form. Whether or not he wanted to stand there and watch her, she wasn't waiting for him to leave, she was cold and wet. [d]
[EOIN] He should have known. He had known it was going to rain all day. Eoin had gotten fairly good at reading and predicting the weather, because nature was just a part of him. Part of his culture, if you will. Regardless, she was still right, and he nodded his head to just accept that. She was catching him a bit off guard, though, when she started to peel her clothes off. He was staring a bit because he was a little taken aback by how little she cared, and it took him a second too long to realize this was making him look bad. "Uh, right," he said quickly. Eoin nodded and headed towards the door before he saw anything he shouldn't. "I suppose I should bid you goodnight then, Nem, so...yeah." A year, okay? Actually, it'd been far longer than that. But he'd exit to shut the door behind him and head towards the guest room he was currently residing in to do the same. He realized he should probably get some sleep, warm the cold ache from his bones, because tomorrow he was going to have to deal with something he really didn't want to...[d]
[NEMERIS] Maybe it had been her upbringing, or just how she was, but she held a confidence in herself that she did not bother with worrying over modesty. It was just a human body--they all had one, so what did it matter? She caught him staring though, and she smirked slightly, turning around just as he was excusing himself out of her room. He was apparently bothered by it. She took her time, undressing and she dried herself off with that same towel she had tried drying her hair with. She put on a dry night dress and robe before stepping back out of her room. She stepped over to his room and knocked gently on the door. [d]
[EOIN] Fortunate to have bought the clothes from the market, he was happy to shed the soaked clothing (this time draping them over a chair instead of throwing them in a heap) and change into the warmer, dry ones. Fingers filtered to that hair that was beginning to get just a bit too long to draw it from his face before he eventually settled on the bed after starting up a small fire in the hearth. Propped up comfortably on the pillows, he was leafing through that journal Nemeris had found. Some of the writing had faded over time, and he couldn't quite make all of it out yet, pausing when he heard the knock. "Come in." [d]
[NEMERIS] She hesitated for a moment, perhaps she should just leave him alone. But it had been so long since she had anyone that would tolerate her for this long. When she heard his voice, she slowly opened the door and peered in, seeing him sitting there with the journal. She realized then that she should have went with her intuition and left him to his privacy. She nodded and cleared her throat. "Sorry... I won't bother you..." She started, but cleared her throat. "I..uh... Just wanted to say thank you... And sorry if I just made you feel awkwardly uncomfortable a moment ago." She smiled faintly and hesitated a moment, almost as if she didn't want to be alone. "But, goodnight..." She stepped back into the hall and slowly shut the door. [d]
[EOIN] He was squinting, trying to make something out on the page when she was thanking him, and he had to pull his eyes from the book. It took him a second to realize what she was saying, and he simply laughed quietly. "Not uncomfortable. Just took me a bit by surprise." And he considered it rude to be in the presence of a lady while she was undressing. It was just common decency, even if he did live most of his life in the damn woods. He'd finally lowered the journal to notice how she hesitated, and he wondered if her meltdown earlier was still plaguing her. Maybe he should have just let her continue down the hall, but perhaps he felt like he needed to take responsibility for his bullshit earlier. A light sigh, the door was only closed for a second before he was calling out, "Nem?" [d]
[NEMERIS] Just as she shut the door, she heard his voice call after her. Her hand had still been on the doorknob, so she turned it and opened the door again, peering in through only a half opened door. "Yes?" She was expecting him to ask her or request something he might need that was not already in the room. And she realized that she really hadn't told him he could roam freely around the house to help himself to whatever he wanted or needed. Though, she was sure that felt strange to do in someone else's home, so she wondered what she could do to ease that discomfort. "Did you need something?" Maybe she was still plagued from earlier. Or he had just gotten under her skin about the whole thing and she was questioning everything about her life and how she was living it, now. [d]
[EOIN] Maybe he was reading her wrong...but he should know loneliness when he saw it. Or perhaps it was just a "sense" that something wasn't right. He would have spent the rest of the night just idly leafing through that journal, but he didn't have to. Not that he had very interesting conversation left within him. "No," he answered her. "But you can stay if you want." Eoin didn't bring up how he thought she needed the company...because that would just sound conceited. He left it up to her whether she backed out or not. It was a simple, innocent suggestion she could take or leave, and he wouldn't be offended either way. [d]
[NEMERIS] Her brows lowered in slight question as he told her she could stay if she wanted to. She wasn't sure if he had noticed her hesitation before she had left him to his peace, or if he truly wanted her there to stay with him. He hadn't been around a friend in over a year, she imagined, so she didn't think she could blame him for not wanting to be alone. She stood up straighter and opened the door a little bit more, walking into the opening and leaning against the door frame. "Do you want me to stay?" She'd turn it back around on him, because she was too proud to admit she didn't want to be alone right now. She was a strong-willed woman who most people were intimidated by--so the last thing she wanted was to appear weakened. "I don't mind staying with you if you want me to." She forced a small smile, feeling slightly grateful for his offer. And almost as if she already knew his answer, she stepped into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, grabbing the journal book he had been looking at. She flipped through the pages, briefly looking at it before handing it back to him. "You could read to me...Or tell me about the Necron clan, if you'd like." She smirked slightly and turned to look at him questioningly. [d]
[EOIN] He tried to be as nonchalant as possible. Maybe deep down he knew how prideful she was and wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. She claimed she liked being alone, but perhaps he could sense that wasn't true. Whatever it was, Eoin wasn't going to question her and allowed her to believe that he was the lonely. Not that it was entirely a lie, because it wasn't. Not really. Still, he would have been okay with just laying there until sleep claimed him, however long that would be. So, he answered her simply, "Sure." Shifting over to the other side of the bed, he offered her the spot he had just been resting and she took the book from him. "I can't quite make it all out," he confessed, so he probably couldn't read to her. It almost seemed like it was written in another language... which he supposed was possible. If the journal was old enough. [d]
[NEMERIS] "Oh?" She looked at him curiously after he admitted he couldn't make it all out. "Was it too damaged from the fire?" She frowned slightly before she stood from the bed and moved over to where the fireplace was, holding her hands out to try and warm herself. She was still frozen from the rain. Without looking at him, she spoke quietly. "So what were they like? Your clan? I don't really know much about you." Though he did not know much about her either. At least not about one another's pasts. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering slightly before looking back at him. [d]
[EOIN] "No," he answered. "The ink has just faded over the years." In truth, he didn't know how old the journal really was. He just happened to be left with it...being that he was the last of his clan. The thought was a sobering one, but he was long over getting upset about it. Fate just decided that it would be this way. That he would be the last one. A hand slipped behind his head as he gazed up to the ceiling to contemplate her question. "The clans of Aldsage are tight-knit groups, protecting particular parts of the island for generations. But the Necron and Drach were constantly at war with each other. Neighboring clans that could not agree on where their territories laid." Eoin sat up a little more and held back a sigh, remembering the night he was about to tell her about. "Kaige Drach extended an olive branch so out of the blue one day, and hosted a feast to honor the upcoming peace. My chieftan was hesitant, but he went to the feast with his family and close councilmen..." His jaws clenched, remembering every detail that he couldn't share...because he had been one of the men who had gone with Zeph. Nemeris would probably be able to guess what was about to come next just by how his face darkened and his voice grew steady. "It was all a lie. Most of Zeph's blood relatives was there in that hall...where they were slaughtered like cattle. Kaige had secretly men to the rest of the Necron village..." And that's where he stopped. She would know how it ended, how he wound up on the shore of Aralore. "So, Aldsage is full of beauty, of lush forests...but also traitors and blood-soaked earth. And no other clan had come to our aide...whether because they didn't want to or simply had no idea what was happening. Just like we didn't." [d]
[NEMERIS] She turned slightly, her back to the fireplace now as she listened to him tell his story. The world was a sad, greedy place. This type of story existed everywhere in one way or another. Though her story was different, it also came down to greed and the need for power. She sighed quietly before she moved back towards him, that warmth from the fireplace instantly fading as she moved away from it. Lowering herself back onto the bed to sit on the edge, she nodded slowly. "I'm sorry to hear that...Have you ever tried going back? Could you?" [d]
[EOIN] It was true. Everywhere you turned these days, the world was corrupted by the greed and need for power, usually by those who didn't deserve any of it in the first place. Eoin wouldn't lie, knowing Zeph had become a bit corrupted himself...but he never would have slaughtered Drach's entire family for more land. He would have gone to war, yes, but that was entirely different. Grey eyes finally blinked when he heard her voice; looking back to her with a clear gaze now as he shook his head. "I've never gone back. I'm the last of the Necron...there's no point to going back there now." There would be nothing there for him...just like there was little for him in Aralore. That seemed to be the trend. [d]
[NEMERIS] She nodded slowly in understanding, taking hold of that book from him once again and flipping through the pages, as if she'd find some answers for him, but as he said, some of the writing was hard to decipher. With a sigh, she laid down on the bed next to him, onto her back and stared up at the ceiling, her fingers idly playing with the pages of the journal gently, as to not ruin it. "I would go back to my home, if I could. But I cannot..." She handed the book back to him and glanced at him. "Though I am not really sure I belong here anymore, either..." She shrugged her shoulders and glanced back up at the ceiling. "There was a moment tonight... when I thought things would be better off if you just dropped me.... let me fall.." She quietly admitted. [d]
[EOIN] A shift of his head, his eyes fell to the pages of that journal as she gently leafed through it. But then that grey gaze drifted over to her when she spoke of her home. She hadn't mentioned much of it before, but it was clear it was a sore subject whenever she did. He almost wanted to inquire about it, yet was rendered silent as she kept talking; speaking some worrisome words. Words that he, unfortunately, could relate to even now. His brow furrowed and he looked back up to the ceiling with a sigh. "After weeks in that prison...all I wanted to do was die. I even prayed for it," he confessed quietly. "But no matter how much I wished for it, it never happened. And here I am." A light shrug of his shoulder. "I suppose I have to believe that the gods are not done with me yet." That gaze drifted sidelong to her, indicating the same thing for her. [d]
[NEMERIS] She fell silent, almost expecting him to yell at her for wishing or thinking such things. But instead, he told her he had felt the same before while in the Saelis prison. She frowned and eventually slowly turned onto her side to face him. "You are a very strong man for what you've endured and for making it back here... I just wonder.. Why do the gods make us suffer so much in life? Did you or I do something wrong to deserve all of this?" She reached for his hand and held it into her own. "I have a son back home... Not sure if you knew that...? And, I can't even remember what he looks like anymore.. Not that he would look that way anymore now, but... still." She frowned and shook her head. "And I don't think I will ever be able to see him again... Two children I have failed and lost... Why do I deserve to still live?" [d]
[EOIN] When she took his hand, he was turning his head to look at her once more; his expression somewhat concerned. "I do not know..." And he didn't know why they, or anyone else, had to suffer. He wanted to believe that it wasn't some cruel game the gods were playing...but that they genuinely had a purpose for them. His expression softened considerably when she mentioned she had a son, and by that look it was quite clear that it wasn't something she had mentioned before. His thumb brushed gently across her knuckles. "How did you fail? Why is it your fault that fate decided to take them from you?" He shook his head, not waiting for her to answer that. "The gods make us endure things because they know we're strong enough to handle them. It's something I have to believe, otherwise...there is no reason for me to be here." And that was not a dark path he really should allow himself to go down... [d]
[NEMERIS] She laughed a sad laugh as Eoin explained that the gods made them endure things because they were strong enough to endure. "I suppose... But it has not made me strong... It has made me a cold and bitter woman who cannot trust anyone..." She sighed and studied his face for a moment. "I failed because I could not protect them as a mother should protect their children. My brother turned my son... My whole family against me and casted me out...Or threatened to kill me. I wish I had let him kill me. None of this has been worth it..." Nemeris did not cry, or seem to get upset as she spoke. It had been so long, and she had spent countless number of nights crying and feeling anger, that she eventually became numb to it all. [d]
[EOIN] He didn't laugh even though she did, even if it may have just been sadly sarcastic. He also didn't know how to argue her words or point anything out that might help...because it was hard to when one's own mind was lingering on that dark path. Eoin just remembered the prison, the need to die, the pain he endured, only to come home to a different kind of pain. One he would have to deal with all over again when he saw Alexandria tomorrow. So he focused his attention on Nemeris to root him to the present for now; his expression still sad by her words. "You just need to find at least one thing that's worth it." He was talking again from experience, but it was clear that he was struggling to do the same. Finally, as he turned his gaze back to the ceiling, he laughed quietly, sadly. "Easier said than done...I know." He wished he knew what to say, but he probably wasn't the best one to comfort another when he himself suffered. [d]
[NEMERIS] She had found one thing that was worth it. But it ended up being false and stupid, and taken away from her. And then that one chance she had to try to raise another child, to have that hope and love in her life--only to have that suddenly stolen from her as well. So yes, it was easier said than done. Nothing good ever seemed to last for her. So what was the point? She did not say any of this to Eoin, as she didn't wish to continue down the self pitying path she as venturing down. Instead, she sighed quietly and squeezed his hand. "I suppose..." She fell silent, pondering her words before she spoke quietly. "Despite everything... I am glad you came back and are here with me... It is nice to have.... a friend here... And I've missed you." She struggled to get those words out, as if not wanting to admit them. Nemeris didn't usually express her feelings like that to anyone. [d]
[EOIN] The moment those words left his tongue, he knew he shouldn't have said them. She had tried to make better of this life, even if it was the wrong person. She had loved him. She had made an effort. She could have had that child to unfortunately replace the one that was taken from her...but the gods didn't deem it fit to grant her such grace, and even he didn't know why. He didn't know why a lot of things had happened or didn't happen. Still, she didn't argue, even if he wanted to argue it himself.
When she told him she was glad that he was here, he regarded her with a light smirk, a glint of mirth in his eyes. He heard how she struggled, knowing full well that she wasn't one to delve into emotions of any kind (unless he stupidly broke her, something he'd never forgive himself for). "See? You do have a heart in there somewhere," Eoin teased very lightly, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I've missed you, too. And thank you...for taking me in." When no one else seemed willing to. [d]
[NEMERIS] She narrowed her eyes at him and let go of his hand so she could push him back a little. "Very funny..." she smirked slightly. "I do have a heart, believe it or not. I just don't let many close to it." She sighed. "Because why should I?" Yes, they had already had this conversation and argument earlier but she still didn't believe him, or the point of it.
She laughed, "and I doubt you missed me. I was the last thing on your mind, I'm sure ..." She smirked, giving him a look as if she knew he was just trying to be nice by saying that, and she honestly didn't blame him. She wouldn't be surprised if anyone ever thought of her, unless they needed something. [d]
[EOIN] His chuckle was a tired one as she shoved and withdrew from him. She should know by now he clearly didn't mean it, because hadn't he been fighting with her about her actually caring more than she let on? When she doubted him, his face sobered a little bit. "I did," he admitted quietly. "I thought of a lot of people that meant something to me...not just her." The truth was heavy in his voice. "When I thought I was facing death, I wondered about everyone...if I was leaving on a good note..." [d]
[NEMERIS] She had turned away from him slightly, to stare back up at the ceiling after she admitted her doubt of him missing her. He responded quietly, his words heavy and solemn, and it struck her hard for some reason, causing her to choke up a bit. Maybe it was because she could relate so much, because there were others she cared for that she hadn't left on a good note. That she could imagine, or maybe even feel that loss and fear he had as he wondered such things, alone and not knowing what others thought of him, not being able to speak to them one last time. Her eyes welled up with tears but she would force them back, afraid to look at him to allow him to see how much his words had hit her. She sighed and took a deep breath before she turned again to look at him, her hand touching his face gently. "I'm sorry you had to think about that." She paused, contemplating her words before she spoke again. "We held a funeral for you...." She crinkled her nose as if to prevent herself from crying. "I remember thinking that I wish I had gotten to tell you how thankful I was that you were there for me when Brennus died... you were the only one who seemed to care enough.. You didn't let me scare or push you away...you refused to let me... I know how difficult I can be... And somehow you managed to keep me grounded... And I felt awful knowing that you'd never know how much I appreciated you..." She couldn't stop the few tears that snuck out of her eyelids and she laughed sadly, "so, you at least left on a good note with me..." She realized she had kept her hand on his face, rubbing his cheek with her thumb that whole time she spoke. Slowly, she pulled it away, awkwardly, as if she shouldn't have been touching him. She looked away from him and stared back at the ceiling, those few fallen tears rolling further down her cheeks and onto her neck. "What did you think of me, when you did?" She asked him curiously. She had just poured her stupid cold heart out to him. [d]
[EOIN] The touch to his face startled him just a little, only because he wasn't expecting it and it drew his attention back over to her to find her seemingly struggling to compose herself. That also seemed to take him softly by surprise, because he was trying to figure out what he had said, what he had done wrong. "On a good note?" he said after she spoke a little, laughing despite her tears. He also chuckled, but it was light. "This is a good note?" It was an attempt at humor, because he appreciated her words regardless. It took him a moment, too, to realize her hand had lingered, and he was just about to reach up for it when she was drawing it away, and he regarded her with a warm smile. "Well, I know now," he told her quietly. "Thank you." She didn't have to tell him any of that, especially after what he had done earlier. Especially with how truthful he had been about Brennus. He had to refrain from reaching over to dry her face of those tears. Her question made him quiet for just a moment as he held back a sigh, turning his gaze back up to the ceiling to buy him a few seconds. "I thought about your eyes," he answered, pausing for but a moment. "The sadness that lingered there beyond the hardness you only ever shared." He shrugged a shoulder again. "I hoped you would find happiness." [d]
[NEMERIS] She laughed softly and shook her head. "You were never the cause of any bad notes, is what I meant. You had no control over making things better for me, nor would I have ever expected you to. I meant our friendship.. You left on good terms with me." She quietly explained. Even if it had just been a joke, Nemeris didn't take it as one. Honestly, would her life ever end on a good note? She didn't have much hope for that.
As he looked away from her and back at the ceiling she turned her gaze back to him as he was speaking, answering her question. His first words took her by surprise. He thought about her eyes? She looked at him, confused, but before she could say anything, he continued to explain. She laughed slightly and whispered. "Sorry to disappoint..." She had not found happiness. Far from it. "But what is that? Happiness? Does such a thing even exist?" She spoke in sarcasm, laughing a little more. [d]
[EOIN] He knew what she meant, and he was happy to hear it regardless. When you cared about someone, in whatever sort of way, that was what you did. You didn't ignore them or their pain, you didn't shun them or push them away. You know when they truly need a shoulder despite what they might claim and you give it to them. Family, lover, friend... didn't matter. Nemeris had needed someone desperately, and he was glad he could be there for her, just as she was here for him now when he was completely lost and disjointed from the rest of the world. He just hoped he'd be able to find his footing again. Her soft laughter made him chuckle again, knowing that response was probably ridiculous, but there was no sense in lying right now. Maybe she didn't find happiness yet, but she was still alive and breathing. "I have no idea," he answered her in some amusement. "I thought I knew what it was...then the war came." Thus everything he'd ever known had changed. [d]
[NEMERIS] “Then came the war…” Nemeris repeated solemnly. The war had done a lot of things, and if Eoin was right about Saelis, she wasn’t sure Aralore, or any of its people would be able to handle another war. It was a frightening thought. She sighed quietly and tried to remember a time when she did feel happy. It made her silent for a long moment, almost as if forgetting Eoin was there with her. But her mind wandered to when her son was born—seeing how happy and proud her husband had been. That was so long ago. Had she really been so unhappy since? It was a sad thought and it made her chest feel heavy. Sure, maybe she had felt moments of happiness here and there. Small little flickers of flames, but not that pure happiness, as if everything were going to be alright.
She inhaled deeply and held it for a moment, finally realizing that silence had lingered for quite a while between them, and she wondered if he had fallen asleep. She glanced to him as that breath was released staggering from her lips. When she saw he was still awake, she decided to change the subject completely… This was getting too solemn, even for her. She cleared her throat and whispered the most random, and perhaps inappropriate question, but it would certainly change the tone in the room. “When was the last time you’ve been with a woman?” She had wondered this when she caught him staring at her while she undressed. [d]
[EOIN] The war changed a lot of things, hadn't it? Way too many things...and he was afraid of what else was to come. After the brief things he heard from the others during the shock of last evening, Aralore was not ready. They wouldn't survive, and he wondered if this was something he would have to speak with Alexandria about. The last thing he wanted to do was be the burden of bad news...but she had to know. Everyone had to know and prepare themselves. Eoin could have fallen asleep. Although his eyes were open, his vision was unfocusing as this strange calm was falling over him despite his running thoughts. The silence hadn't bothered him- in truth, he hadn't realized it had lingered for that long until she cleared her throat. And was asking something he would never have expected her to say. It took him by surprise that he blinked, wondering if he had heard her correctly. "What?" It was obvious that he didn't know how to take that, whether or not he should be embarrassed or maybe even a little angry in some respect. But embarrassment won out, and he chuckled shyly. "That...is some question, Nem." Now he was stalling, running a hand down his face as he kept his eyes on the ceiling. Sure, it was a strange, random question with an embarrassing answer, but she was his friend. "Awhile," he finally told her. "Since before Alexandria..." They had never been together intimately, it seemed, and obviously never would be. [d]
[NEMERIS] She couldn't help but laugh at his reaction to her question. Maybe it was an embarrassing question to some people, like Eoin seemed to be by it, but it wasn't really anything to be embarrassed about. She wasn't sure if he and Alexandria had been intimate in that way, so she was at least assuming it had been a year. But when he admitted it was before Alexandria, her eyes widened slightly and she laughed again. "Are you serious? You and Alexandria...never?" Well, she honestly wasn't surprised because she knew something plagued Alexandria in that aspect of things. It was really none of her business, but Eoin was answering her. "How long before?" She raised a brow and looked at him curiously. "I haven't since Brennus... A few months before he died... So I'm going on over a year now... Which I thought was bad... But now I feel sorry for you." She wasn't really laughing at him so much. It was more of a sympathetic kind of laugh. "How are you... surviving?" Maybe this was her paying him back for making her feel bad. Though, she wasn't being mean about it. Just curious and concerned as any friend would be, right? [d]
[EOIN] It was a very embarrassing question, and he didn't even know why he even indulged her with an answer to it . Truthfully, it really was none of her business, friend or not. And he hadn't even thought about it much until now. "Oh, thanks," he added after she "felt sorry for him". It certainly seemed like she was laughing at him. Regardless, if he was bothered by it, she would have known. "I had a lot more pressing matters to deal with for the last year," he confessed, and for once he wasn't drifting back into those heavy thoughts. Maybe he was too tired, or they were simply waiting to plague him when he closed his eyes. "It was the last thing on my mind." [d]
[NEMERIS] A small smirk played upon her lips as Eoin thanked her for her “sympathy”, though sarcastically. “Sorry.” She spoke apologetically. “I was only wondering because of the way you were staring at me earlier…” She raised a brow and smirked again. Her expression a bit tantalizing now. Slowly she sat up, but turned to face him, hovering over him a bit. “And what about now? Is it still the last thing on your mind?” Nemeris, though she could be dark and cold, she had an alluring and enticing presence about her. Brennus had accused her of bewitching him, of being a temptress—Though she never did such a thing.
She reached down and ran a finger along his cheek, watching him carefully before she spoke quietly and almost cautiously. “We…. could…. Take care of each other, perhaps?” She looked into his eyes and paused for a moment before tilting her head curiously. “You’ve been through so much…. Pain… As have I…. I can give you something else to focus on… Take your mind off of it all… As a friend.” She was well aware of the doubts and the reasons for why they shouldn't, for why Eoin would most likely refuse. But she didn't really seem to care. [d]
[EOIN] "You were blatantly undressing," he explained immediately. "Took me off guard." He had already said this earlier, but now there was this subtle shift in the air that he hadn't realized...not until it completely shifted, further taking him off guard. What was she doing? When she hovered over him slightly, he looked amused because he thought she was just playing with him, perhaps trying to see if she could make him uncomfortable again...only, the amusement began to fade not long after. This didn't feel like a joke, and it was making his throat close up. Although his body was reacting in the way she was probably expecting, his mind wasn't. How could it? If this was a joking tease, it wasn't funny. "No." Eoin was snatching that hand near his face to brush it away before he slipped towards the edge of the bed, moving to get up. "What're you...why are you doing this?" He had to see Alexandria tomorrow, and although, deep down he understand there was no hope for them...he couldn't help but wonder a tiny bit. His mind couldn't help but still linger on the possibility because he hadn't been given enough time to move on. [d]
[NEMERIS] She wasn’t trying to joke or tease him, and the expression she wore was serious. He reacted the way she was expecting, pushing past her and questioning her, and she wondered why she had even bothered to try. Turning to sit now on the edge of the bed, facing him, she kept her gaze on him with that serious, yet alluring expression. There was a long pause as she regarded him, not really sure what to say. Why are you doing this? He had asked, and it made her shrug slightly. “Why not?” Her words were said in a gentle tone as though she were not trying to make him feel bad—and she was not teasing him. She thought she was being helpful. She slowly stood and moved in front of him, placing a finger under his chin, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “Just want to help you…” she paused slightly, “feel better… Feel pleasure rather than the pain you have… And I need it just as badly… But I understand. And I’m sorry for suggesting…” She sighed softly and took a step back from him, “Goodnight, Eoin.” She wouldn’t bother him about it any further. He had made it obvious he wasn’t up for it. [d]
[EOIN] Suddenly, he was wishing this was all a joke, even if that would only make it a little better. This felt like it was coming out of nowhere, just like her initial question, and he didn't know why. Perhaps he wasn't sane, or maybe he was still attached to a woman he shouldn't be. Devoted to a woman who was no longer devoted to him. But it wasn't so easy for him to cast those feelings aside because he hadn't had the time to get over it. Mentally he just wasn't there. For him, Alexandria had waited for him all of this time, even though it was clear that she hadn't, and why she hadn't. It had only been yesterday, and now Nemeris was...doing this? "Why not?" he spat back, as if disbelieving her. "Have you no regard for my heart?" Oh right, sex was her answer to that, like it was something anyone could just throw around and be alright with. Not him. Not right now, and he was having trouble understanding her logic. He even leaned away when she approached and touched his chin, gray eyes almost glaring at her. He wanted to yell at her, but...what was the point? "Yes, goodnight," he replied, also taking a step back. He felt like a total stranger in this house now, and half wondered if he should just leave. [d]
[NEMERIS] Maybe it was nothing for her, because she had given up on love and her heart long ago. And she often forgot that others did not feel the same way. Maybe she did not know what love really was, anyway, because she had never felt it, sadly. Even her marriage had been an arranged one out of convenience for her father. She had trapped herself alone in this manor, and Eoin had been the first in a while to show her any kind of friendship or care.
She nearly flinched as he yelled at her, eyebrows furrowing a bit, and she instantly regretted even saying anything. “I’m sorry… I just…” She looked down, away from him. She didn’t mean to make him angry, but she understood why, and felt foolish now. “I forgot… You’re an honorable man…Unlike most, nowadays.” She hesitated for a moment and fought back a sigh. “And, I do care… despite what you must think now. I’m sorry. I shouldn't have... ” Her eyes welled up with tears and she turned away from him, rushing out of the room. Nemeris was a complicated and torn woman. She didn’t make sense to many, maybe not even to herself at times. [d]
[EOIN] He understood the loneliness, but even still. This was unwarranted. Although Alexandria was not his anymore, it was the mindset he was in. It would be as though he were betraying her, but most importantly, betraying himself. Nemeris was a friend and nothing more, and he wasn't looking to ruin that. So, it was why he stood his ground even as she began to cry, even as he spoke...and he had nothing he could really say in return. When she left the room, he sighed and ran a hand down his face, as if he didn't believe that had happened. So much for a peaceful night. [d]
[NEMERIS] Perhaps he didn’t fully understand the loneliness Nemeris felt. Eoin had had love in his life. He knew what it was. He felt it before. And he had reminded her just how sad and pathetic her life really was when he had shot down on her feelings regarding Brennus. She had lost every chance she had with love, with her children, with her family, and she was truly alone. So forgive her for being so…brazen. She saw an opportunity (despite the wrong one), which she now knew and felt horribly foolish and embarrassed for. He did not respond to her apology, which made things feel worse. As she reached her room, she slammed the door shut and crawled into her bed, just wanting to escape the rest of this day and all of the emotions flooding through her right now. She was embarrassed, angry, lost, sad, lonely, and even though Eoin had tried convincing her that she did not need to be this way, that she should try to let people in. She just felt further reason now, to continue to push people away and not let them in. Why should she? She was pushed away just as much as she pushed others. And Eoin had just reminded her of that. [d]
[NEMERIS] Karma? Her brows furrowed in confusion slightly, because she wasn't sure why this was karma's doing. Had he or she done something to deserve this? But she said nothing and quickly made her way inside. She peeled her soaked shawl from her shoulders and draped it on the coat hook, taking Eoin's cloak that he seemingly just tossed aside, and hung it as well. She followed him up the stairs, answering him as she did. "My room..." She wasn't sure she wanted him in there, but she was too tired and cold to care right now. When they reached the top of the stairs, she squeezed by him to get ahead of him, and she opened her door, letting him in. She pointed to the damaged spot in her ceiling in the corner of the room. Immediately after, she was reaching for a linen towel and attempted to dry her hair with it. Grey-blue eyes watched him, though, as he'd inspect his work to see it it was holding back the rain now. The wetness of her clinging clothes was now hitting her and she was shivering, her lips quivering slightly. [d]
[EOIN] He was pausing immediately halfway up the stairs when she mentioned it was her room. Turning slightly, he regarded her in a mix of surprise and curiosity. "Why...would you stay in there then?" For a year? This manor surely had other rooms she could have stayed in that didn't have the roof leaking above. That was when she slipped passed him because he was too dumbfounded by her response, but inevitably followed her again. He stepped in quietly, turning his gaze upwards. There was certainly water damage, but it was old. For now, though, he noticed, his quick patchwork seemed to be keeping out the onslaught of rain from the outside. "That should hold for awhile...hopefully." At least he was being truthful about it. When he looked back to her, though, his prideful look was quick to dissipate at noticing her shivering. "I'm...sorry for dragging you out there." And nearly getting you killed for such a stupid thing. "But just...get changed and warm before you freeze to death. I don't need that on my conscience as well..." A huff of a quiet laugh, he shook his head at himself. [d]
[NEMERIS] She had ignored his question about why she remained in her room while the damage was there. She had her reasons, probably. But mostly, she did not feel like moving everything. And the bucket under the spot worked well to collect the water, anyway.
When he confirmed that his work would hold for a while, she smiled faintly and nodded, "thank you.." But he was soon apologizing to her, which caused her to shake her head. "Stop it. You didn't know it would rain instantly like that..." She laughed and tossed the linen towel aside, braiding her hair quickly to contain the unruly mess the drying wet hair would cause eventually. Before he was telling her to change, she was already unlacing the bodice underneath her breasts, letting it fall to the floor afterwards. Her eyes shifted back to him and she raised a brow, smirking as she spoke with that sarcasm, "Really? I thought I would remain in my soaking clothes for the rest of the night." She laughed and started to peel the clinging fabric off of her form. Whether or not he wanted to stand there and watch her, she wasn't waiting for him to leave, she was cold and wet. [d]
[EOIN] He should have known. He had known it was going to rain all day. Eoin had gotten fairly good at reading and predicting the weather, because nature was just a part of him. Part of his culture, if you will. Regardless, she was still right, and he nodded his head to just accept that. She was catching him a bit off guard, though, when she started to peel her clothes off. He was staring a bit because he was a little taken aback by how little she cared, and it took him a second too long to realize this was making him look bad. "Uh, right," he said quickly. Eoin nodded and headed towards the door before he saw anything he shouldn't. "I suppose I should bid you goodnight then, Nem, so...yeah." A year, okay? Actually, it'd been far longer than that. But he'd exit to shut the door behind him and head towards the guest room he was currently residing in to do the same. He realized he should probably get some sleep, warm the cold ache from his bones, because tomorrow he was going to have to deal with something he really didn't want to...[d]
[NEMERIS] Maybe it had been her upbringing, or just how she was, but she held a confidence in herself that she did not bother with worrying over modesty. It was just a human body--they all had one, so what did it matter? She caught him staring though, and she smirked slightly, turning around just as he was excusing himself out of her room. He was apparently bothered by it. She took her time, undressing and she dried herself off with that same towel she had tried drying her hair with. She put on a dry night dress and robe before stepping back out of her room. She stepped over to his room and knocked gently on the door. [d]
[EOIN] Fortunate to have bought the clothes from the market, he was happy to shed the soaked clothing (this time draping them over a chair instead of throwing them in a heap) and change into the warmer, dry ones. Fingers filtered to that hair that was beginning to get just a bit too long to draw it from his face before he eventually settled on the bed after starting up a small fire in the hearth. Propped up comfortably on the pillows, he was leafing through that journal Nemeris had found. Some of the writing had faded over time, and he couldn't quite make all of it out yet, pausing when he heard the knock. "Come in." [d]
[NEMERIS] She hesitated for a moment, perhaps she should just leave him alone. But it had been so long since she had anyone that would tolerate her for this long. When she heard his voice, she slowly opened the door and peered in, seeing him sitting there with the journal. She realized then that she should have went with her intuition and left him to his privacy. She nodded and cleared her throat. "Sorry... I won't bother you..." She started, but cleared her throat. "I..uh... Just wanted to say thank you... And sorry if I just made you feel awkwardly uncomfortable a moment ago." She smiled faintly and hesitated a moment, almost as if she didn't want to be alone. "But, goodnight..." She stepped back into the hall and slowly shut the door. [d]
[EOIN] He was squinting, trying to make something out on the page when she was thanking him, and he had to pull his eyes from the book. It took him a second to realize what she was saying, and he simply laughed quietly. "Not uncomfortable. Just took me a bit by surprise." And he considered it rude to be in the presence of a lady while she was undressing. It was just common decency, even if he did live most of his life in the damn woods. He'd finally lowered the journal to notice how she hesitated, and he wondered if her meltdown earlier was still plaguing her. Maybe he should have just let her continue down the hall, but perhaps he felt like he needed to take responsibility for his bullshit earlier. A light sigh, the door was only closed for a second before he was calling out, "Nem?" [d]
[NEMERIS] Just as she shut the door, she heard his voice call after her. Her hand had still been on the doorknob, so she turned it and opened the door again, peering in through only a half opened door. "Yes?" She was expecting him to ask her or request something he might need that was not already in the room. And she realized that she really hadn't told him he could roam freely around the house to help himself to whatever he wanted or needed. Though, she was sure that felt strange to do in someone else's home, so she wondered what she could do to ease that discomfort. "Did you need something?" Maybe she was still plagued from earlier. Or he had just gotten under her skin about the whole thing and she was questioning everything about her life and how she was living it, now. [d]
[EOIN] Maybe he was reading her wrong...but he should know loneliness when he saw it. Or perhaps it was just a "sense" that something wasn't right. He would have spent the rest of the night just idly leafing through that journal, but he didn't have to. Not that he had very interesting conversation left within him. "No," he answered her. "But you can stay if you want." Eoin didn't bring up how he thought she needed the company...because that would just sound conceited. He left it up to her whether she backed out or not. It was a simple, innocent suggestion she could take or leave, and he wouldn't be offended either way. [d]
[NEMERIS] Her brows lowered in slight question as he told her she could stay if she wanted to. She wasn't sure if he had noticed her hesitation before she had left him to his peace, or if he truly wanted her there to stay with him. He hadn't been around a friend in over a year, she imagined, so she didn't think she could blame him for not wanting to be alone. She stood up straighter and opened the door a little bit more, walking into the opening and leaning against the door frame. "Do you want me to stay?" She'd turn it back around on him, because she was too proud to admit she didn't want to be alone right now. She was a strong-willed woman who most people were intimidated by--so the last thing she wanted was to appear weakened. "I don't mind staying with you if you want me to." She forced a small smile, feeling slightly grateful for his offer. And almost as if she already knew his answer, she stepped into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, grabbing the journal book he had been looking at. She flipped through the pages, briefly looking at it before handing it back to him. "You could read to me...Or tell me about the Necron clan, if you'd like." She smirked slightly and turned to look at him questioningly. [d]
[EOIN] He tried to be as nonchalant as possible. Maybe deep down he knew how prideful she was and wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. She claimed she liked being alone, but perhaps he could sense that wasn't true. Whatever it was, Eoin wasn't going to question her and allowed her to believe that he was the lonely. Not that it was entirely a lie, because it wasn't. Not really. Still, he would have been okay with just laying there until sleep claimed him, however long that would be. So, he answered her simply, "Sure." Shifting over to the other side of the bed, he offered her the spot he had just been resting and she took the book from him. "I can't quite make it all out," he confessed, so he probably couldn't read to her. It almost seemed like it was written in another language... which he supposed was possible. If the journal was old enough. [d]
[NEMERIS] "Oh?" She looked at him curiously after he admitted he couldn't make it all out. "Was it too damaged from the fire?" She frowned slightly before she stood from the bed and moved over to where the fireplace was, holding her hands out to try and warm herself. She was still frozen from the rain. Without looking at him, she spoke quietly. "So what were they like? Your clan? I don't really know much about you." Though he did not know much about her either. At least not about one another's pasts. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering slightly before looking back at him. [d]
[EOIN] "No," he answered. "The ink has just faded over the years." In truth, he didn't know how old the journal really was. He just happened to be left with it...being that he was the last of his clan. The thought was a sobering one, but he was long over getting upset about it. Fate just decided that it would be this way. That he would be the last one. A hand slipped behind his head as he gazed up to the ceiling to contemplate her question. "The clans of Aldsage are tight-knit groups, protecting particular parts of the island for generations. But the Necron and Drach were constantly at war with each other. Neighboring clans that could not agree on where their territories laid." Eoin sat up a little more and held back a sigh, remembering the night he was about to tell her about. "Kaige Drach extended an olive branch so out of the blue one day, and hosted a feast to honor the upcoming peace. My chieftan was hesitant, but he went to the feast with his family and close councilmen..." His jaws clenched, remembering every detail that he couldn't share...because he had been one of the men who had gone with Zeph. Nemeris would probably be able to guess what was about to come next just by how his face darkened and his voice grew steady. "It was all a lie. Most of Zeph's blood relatives was there in that hall...where they were slaughtered like cattle. Kaige had secretly men to the rest of the Necron village..." And that's where he stopped. She would know how it ended, how he wound up on the shore of Aralore. "So, Aldsage is full of beauty, of lush forests...but also traitors and blood-soaked earth. And no other clan had come to our aide...whether because they didn't want to or simply had no idea what was happening. Just like we didn't." [d]
[NEMERIS] She turned slightly, her back to the fireplace now as she listened to him tell his story. The world was a sad, greedy place. This type of story existed everywhere in one way or another. Though her story was different, it also came down to greed and the need for power. She sighed quietly before she moved back towards him, that warmth from the fireplace instantly fading as she moved away from it. Lowering herself back onto the bed to sit on the edge, she nodded slowly. "I'm sorry to hear that...Have you ever tried going back? Could you?" [d]
[EOIN] It was true. Everywhere you turned these days, the world was corrupted by the greed and need for power, usually by those who didn't deserve any of it in the first place. Eoin wouldn't lie, knowing Zeph had become a bit corrupted himself...but he never would have slaughtered Drach's entire family for more land. He would have gone to war, yes, but that was entirely different. Grey eyes finally blinked when he heard her voice; looking back to her with a clear gaze now as he shook his head. "I've never gone back. I'm the last of the Necron...there's no point to going back there now." There would be nothing there for him...just like there was little for him in Aralore. That seemed to be the trend. [d]
[NEMERIS] She nodded slowly in understanding, taking hold of that book from him once again and flipping through the pages, as if she'd find some answers for him, but as he said, some of the writing was hard to decipher. With a sigh, she laid down on the bed next to him, onto her back and stared up at the ceiling, her fingers idly playing with the pages of the journal gently, as to not ruin it. "I would go back to my home, if I could. But I cannot..." She handed the book back to him and glanced at him. "Though I am not really sure I belong here anymore, either..." She shrugged her shoulders and glanced back up at the ceiling. "There was a moment tonight... when I thought things would be better off if you just dropped me.... let me fall.." She quietly admitted. [d]
[EOIN] A shift of his head, his eyes fell to the pages of that journal as she gently leafed through it. But then that grey gaze drifted over to her when she spoke of her home. She hadn't mentioned much of it before, but it was clear it was a sore subject whenever she did. He almost wanted to inquire about it, yet was rendered silent as she kept talking; speaking some worrisome words. Words that he, unfortunately, could relate to even now. His brow furrowed and he looked back up to the ceiling with a sigh. "After weeks in that prison...all I wanted to do was die. I even prayed for it," he confessed quietly. "But no matter how much I wished for it, it never happened. And here I am." A light shrug of his shoulder. "I suppose I have to believe that the gods are not done with me yet." That gaze drifted sidelong to her, indicating the same thing for her. [d]
[NEMERIS] She fell silent, almost expecting him to yell at her for wishing or thinking such things. But instead, he told her he had felt the same before while in the Saelis prison. She frowned and eventually slowly turned onto her side to face him. "You are a very strong man for what you've endured and for making it back here... I just wonder.. Why do the gods make us suffer so much in life? Did you or I do something wrong to deserve all of this?" She reached for his hand and held it into her own. "I have a son back home... Not sure if you knew that...? And, I can't even remember what he looks like anymore.. Not that he would look that way anymore now, but... still." She frowned and shook her head. "And I don't think I will ever be able to see him again... Two children I have failed and lost... Why do I deserve to still live?" [d]
[EOIN] When she took his hand, he was turning his head to look at her once more; his expression somewhat concerned. "I do not know..." And he didn't know why they, or anyone else, had to suffer. He wanted to believe that it wasn't some cruel game the gods were playing...but that they genuinely had a purpose for them. His expression softened considerably when she mentioned she had a son, and by that look it was quite clear that it wasn't something she had mentioned before. His thumb brushed gently across her knuckles. "How did you fail? Why is it your fault that fate decided to take them from you?" He shook his head, not waiting for her to answer that. "The gods make us endure things because they know we're strong enough to handle them. It's something I have to believe, otherwise...there is no reason for me to be here." And that was not a dark path he really should allow himself to go down... [d]
[NEMERIS] She laughed a sad laugh as Eoin explained that the gods made them endure things because they were strong enough to endure. "I suppose... But it has not made me strong... It has made me a cold and bitter woman who cannot trust anyone..." She sighed and studied his face for a moment. "I failed because I could not protect them as a mother should protect their children. My brother turned my son... My whole family against me and casted me out...Or threatened to kill me. I wish I had let him kill me. None of this has been worth it..." Nemeris did not cry, or seem to get upset as she spoke. It had been so long, and she had spent countless number of nights crying and feeling anger, that she eventually became numb to it all. [d]
[EOIN] He didn't laugh even though she did, even if it may have just been sadly sarcastic. He also didn't know how to argue her words or point anything out that might help...because it was hard to when one's own mind was lingering on that dark path. Eoin just remembered the prison, the need to die, the pain he endured, only to come home to a different kind of pain. One he would have to deal with all over again when he saw Alexandria tomorrow. So he focused his attention on Nemeris to root him to the present for now; his expression still sad by her words. "You just need to find at least one thing that's worth it." He was talking again from experience, but it was clear that he was struggling to do the same. Finally, as he turned his gaze back to the ceiling, he laughed quietly, sadly. "Easier said than done...I know." He wished he knew what to say, but he probably wasn't the best one to comfort another when he himself suffered. [d]
[NEMERIS] She had found one thing that was worth it. But it ended up being false and stupid, and taken away from her. And then that one chance she had to try to raise another child, to have that hope and love in her life--only to have that suddenly stolen from her as well. So yes, it was easier said than done. Nothing good ever seemed to last for her. So what was the point? She did not say any of this to Eoin, as she didn't wish to continue down the self pitying path she as venturing down. Instead, she sighed quietly and squeezed his hand. "I suppose..." She fell silent, pondering her words before she spoke quietly. "Despite everything... I am glad you came back and are here with me... It is nice to have.... a friend here... And I've missed you." She struggled to get those words out, as if not wanting to admit them. Nemeris didn't usually express her feelings like that to anyone. [d]
[EOIN] The moment those words left his tongue, he knew he shouldn't have said them. She had tried to make better of this life, even if it was the wrong person. She had loved him. She had made an effort. She could have had that child to unfortunately replace the one that was taken from her...but the gods didn't deem it fit to grant her such grace, and even he didn't know why. He didn't know why a lot of things had happened or didn't happen. Still, she didn't argue, even if he wanted to argue it himself.
When she told him she was glad that he was here, he regarded her with a light smirk, a glint of mirth in his eyes. He heard how she struggled, knowing full well that she wasn't one to delve into emotions of any kind (unless he stupidly broke her, something he'd never forgive himself for). "See? You do have a heart in there somewhere," Eoin teased very lightly, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I've missed you, too. And thank you...for taking me in." When no one else seemed willing to. [d]
[NEMERIS] She narrowed her eyes at him and let go of his hand so she could push him back a little. "Very funny..." she smirked slightly. "I do have a heart, believe it or not. I just don't let many close to it." She sighed. "Because why should I?" Yes, they had already had this conversation and argument earlier but she still didn't believe him, or the point of it.
She laughed, "and I doubt you missed me. I was the last thing on your mind, I'm sure ..." She smirked, giving him a look as if she knew he was just trying to be nice by saying that, and she honestly didn't blame him. She wouldn't be surprised if anyone ever thought of her, unless they needed something. [d]
[EOIN] His chuckle was a tired one as she shoved and withdrew from him. She should know by now he clearly didn't mean it, because hadn't he been fighting with her about her actually caring more than she let on? When she doubted him, his face sobered a little bit. "I did," he admitted quietly. "I thought of a lot of people that meant something to me...not just her." The truth was heavy in his voice. "When I thought I was facing death, I wondered about everyone...if I was leaving on a good note..." [d]
[NEMERIS] She had turned away from him slightly, to stare back up at the ceiling after she admitted her doubt of him missing her. He responded quietly, his words heavy and solemn, and it struck her hard for some reason, causing her to choke up a bit. Maybe it was because she could relate so much, because there were others she cared for that she hadn't left on a good note. That she could imagine, or maybe even feel that loss and fear he had as he wondered such things, alone and not knowing what others thought of him, not being able to speak to them one last time. Her eyes welled up with tears but she would force them back, afraid to look at him to allow him to see how much his words had hit her. She sighed and took a deep breath before she turned again to look at him, her hand touching his face gently. "I'm sorry you had to think about that." She paused, contemplating her words before she spoke again. "We held a funeral for you...." She crinkled her nose as if to prevent herself from crying. "I remember thinking that I wish I had gotten to tell you how thankful I was that you were there for me when Brennus died... you were the only one who seemed to care enough.. You didn't let me scare or push you away...you refused to let me... I know how difficult I can be... And somehow you managed to keep me grounded... And I felt awful knowing that you'd never know how much I appreciated you..." She couldn't stop the few tears that snuck out of her eyelids and she laughed sadly, "so, you at least left on a good note with me..." She realized she had kept her hand on his face, rubbing his cheek with her thumb that whole time she spoke. Slowly, she pulled it away, awkwardly, as if she shouldn't have been touching him. She looked away from him and stared back at the ceiling, those few fallen tears rolling further down her cheeks and onto her neck. "What did you think of me, when you did?" She asked him curiously. She had just poured her stupid cold heart out to him. [d]
[EOIN] The touch to his face startled him just a little, only because he wasn't expecting it and it drew his attention back over to her to find her seemingly struggling to compose herself. That also seemed to take him softly by surprise, because he was trying to figure out what he had said, what he had done wrong. "On a good note?" he said after she spoke a little, laughing despite her tears. He also chuckled, but it was light. "This is a good note?" It was an attempt at humor, because he appreciated her words regardless. It took him a moment, too, to realize her hand had lingered, and he was just about to reach up for it when she was drawing it away, and he regarded her with a warm smile. "Well, I know now," he told her quietly. "Thank you." She didn't have to tell him any of that, especially after what he had done earlier. Especially with how truthful he had been about Brennus. He had to refrain from reaching over to dry her face of those tears. Her question made him quiet for just a moment as he held back a sigh, turning his gaze back up to the ceiling to buy him a few seconds. "I thought about your eyes," he answered, pausing for but a moment. "The sadness that lingered there beyond the hardness you only ever shared." He shrugged a shoulder again. "I hoped you would find happiness." [d]
[NEMERIS] She laughed softly and shook her head. "You were never the cause of any bad notes, is what I meant. You had no control over making things better for me, nor would I have ever expected you to. I meant our friendship.. You left on good terms with me." She quietly explained. Even if it had just been a joke, Nemeris didn't take it as one. Honestly, would her life ever end on a good note? She didn't have much hope for that.
As he looked away from her and back at the ceiling she turned her gaze back to him as he was speaking, answering her question. His first words took her by surprise. He thought about her eyes? She looked at him, confused, but before she could say anything, he continued to explain. She laughed slightly and whispered. "Sorry to disappoint..." She had not found happiness. Far from it. "But what is that? Happiness? Does such a thing even exist?" She spoke in sarcasm, laughing a little more. [d]
[EOIN] He knew what she meant, and he was happy to hear it regardless. When you cared about someone, in whatever sort of way, that was what you did. You didn't ignore them or their pain, you didn't shun them or push them away. You know when they truly need a shoulder despite what they might claim and you give it to them. Family, lover, friend... didn't matter. Nemeris had needed someone desperately, and he was glad he could be there for her, just as she was here for him now when he was completely lost and disjointed from the rest of the world. He just hoped he'd be able to find his footing again. Her soft laughter made him chuckle again, knowing that response was probably ridiculous, but there was no sense in lying right now. Maybe she didn't find happiness yet, but she was still alive and breathing. "I have no idea," he answered her in some amusement. "I thought I knew what it was...then the war came." Thus everything he'd ever known had changed. [d]
[NEMERIS] “Then came the war…” Nemeris repeated solemnly. The war had done a lot of things, and if Eoin was right about Saelis, she wasn’t sure Aralore, or any of its people would be able to handle another war. It was a frightening thought. She sighed quietly and tried to remember a time when she did feel happy. It made her silent for a long moment, almost as if forgetting Eoin was there with her. But her mind wandered to when her son was born—seeing how happy and proud her husband had been. That was so long ago. Had she really been so unhappy since? It was a sad thought and it made her chest feel heavy. Sure, maybe she had felt moments of happiness here and there. Small little flickers of flames, but not that pure happiness, as if everything were going to be alright.
She inhaled deeply and held it for a moment, finally realizing that silence had lingered for quite a while between them, and she wondered if he had fallen asleep. She glanced to him as that breath was released staggering from her lips. When she saw he was still awake, she decided to change the subject completely… This was getting too solemn, even for her. She cleared her throat and whispered the most random, and perhaps inappropriate question, but it would certainly change the tone in the room. “When was the last time you’ve been with a woman?” She had wondered this when she caught him staring at her while she undressed. [d]
[EOIN] The war changed a lot of things, hadn't it? Way too many things...and he was afraid of what else was to come. After the brief things he heard from the others during the shock of last evening, Aralore was not ready. They wouldn't survive, and he wondered if this was something he would have to speak with Alexandria about. The last thing he wanted to do was be the burden of bad news...but she had to know. Everyone had to know and prepare themselves. Eoin could have fallen asleep. Although his eyes were open, his vision was unfocusing as this strange calm was falling over him despite his running thoughts. The silence hadn't bothered him- in truth, he hadn't realized it had lingered for that long until she cleared her throat. And was asking something he would never have expected her to say. It took him by surprise that he blinked, wondering if he had heard her correctly. "What?" It was obvious that he didn't know how to take that, whether or not he should be embarrassed or maybe even a little angry in some respect. But embarrassment won out, and he chuckled shyly. "That...is some question, Nem." Now he was stalling, running a hand down his face as he kept his eyes on the ceiling. Sure, it was a strange, random question with an embarrassing answer, but she was his friend. "Awhile," he finally told her. "Since before Alexandria..." They had never been together intimately, it seemed, and obviously never would be. [d]
[NEMERIS] She couldn't help but laugh at his reaction to her question. Maybe it was an embarrassing question to some people, like Eoin seemed to be by it, but it wasn't really anything to be embarrassed about. She wasn't sure if he and Alexandria had been intimate in that way, so she was at least assuming it had been a year. But when he admitted it was before Alexandria, her eyes widened slightly and she laughed again. "Are you serious? You and Alexandria...never?" Well, she honestly wasn't surprised because she knew something plagued Alexandria in that aspect of things. It was really none of her business, but Eoin was answering her. "How long before?" She raised a brow and looked at him curiously. "I haven't since Brennus... A few months before he died... So I'm going on over a year now... Which I thought was bad... But now I feel sorry for you." She wasn't really laughing at him so much. It was more of a sympathetic kind of laugh. "How are you... surviving?" Maybe this was her paying him back for making her feel bad. Though, she wasn't being mean about it. Just curious and concerned as any friend would be, right? [d]
[EOIN] It was a very embarrassing question, and he didn't even know why he even indulged her with an answer to it . Truthfully, it really was none of her business, friend or not. And he hadn't even thought about it much until now. "Oh, thanks," he added after she "felt sorry for him". It certainly seemed like she was laughing at him. Regardless, if he was bothered by it, she would have known. "I had a lot more pressing matters to deal with for the last year," he confessed, and for once he wasn't drifting back into those heavy thoughts. Maybe he was too tired, or they were simply waiting to plague him when he closed his eyes. "It was the last thing on my mind." [d]
[NEMERIS] A small smirk played upon her lips as Eoin thanked her for her “sympathy”, though sarcastically. “Sorry.” She spoke apologetically. “I was only wondering because of the way you were staring at me earlier…” She raised a brow and smirked again. Her expression a bit tantalizing now. Slowly she sat up, but turned to face him, hovering over him a bit. “And what about now? Is it still the last thing on your mind?” Nemeris, though she could be dark and cold, she had an alluring and enticing presence about her. Brennus had accused her of bewitching him, of being a temptress—Though she never did such a thing.
She reached down and ran a finger along his cheek, watching him carefully before she spoke quietly and almost cautiously. “We…. could…. Take care of each other, perhaps?” She looked into his eyes and paused for a moment before tilting her head curiously. “You’ve been through so much…. Pain… As have I…. I can give you something else to focus on… Take your mind off of it all… As a friend.” She was well aware of the doubts and the reasons for why they shouldn't, for why Eoin would most likely refuse. But she didn't really seem to care. [d]
[EOIN] "You were blatantly undressing," he explained immediately. "Took me off guard." He had already said this earlier, but now there was this subtle shift in the air that he hadn't realized...not until it completely shifted, further taking him off guard. What was she doing? When she hovered over him slightly, he looked amused because he thought she was just playing with him, perhaps trying to see if she could make him uncomfortable again...only, the amusement began to fade not long after. This didn't feel like a joke, and it was making his throat close up. Although his body was reacting in the way she was probably expecting, his mind wasn't. How could it? If this was a joking tease, it wasn't funny. "No." Eoin was snatching that hand near his face to brush it away before he slipped towards the edge of the bed, moving to get up. "What're you...why are you doing this?" He had to see Alexandria tomorrow, and although, deep down he understand there was no hope for them...he couldn't help but wonder a tiny bit. His mind couldn't help but still linger on the possibility because he hadn't been given enough time to move on. [d]
[NEMERIS] She wasn’t trying to joke or tease him, and the expression she wore was serious. He reacted the way she was expecting, pushing past her and questioning her, and she wondered why she had even bothered to try. Turning to sit now on the edge of the bed, facing him, she kept her gaze on him with that serious, yet alluring expression. There was a long pause as she regarded him, not really sure what to say. Why are you doing this? He had asked, and it made her shrug slightly. “Why not?” Her words were said in a gentle tone as though she were not trying to make him feel bad—and she was not teasing him. She thought she was being helpful. She slowly stood and moved in front of him, placing a finger under his chin, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “Just want to help you…” she paused slightly, “feel better… Feel pleasure rather than the pain you have… And I need it just as badly… But I understand. And I’m sorry for suggesting…” She sighed softly and took a step back from him, “Goodnight, Eoin.” She wouldn’t bother him about it any further. He had made it obvious he wasn’t up for it. [d]
[EOIN] Suddenly, he was wishing this was all a joke, even if that would only make it a little better. This felt like it was coming out of nowhere, just like her initial question, and he didn't know why. Perhaps he wasn't sane, or maybe he was still attached to a woman he shouldn't be. Devoted to a woman who was no longer devoted to him. But it wasn't so easy for him to cast those feelings aside because he hadn't had the time to get over it. Mentally he just wasn't there. For him, Alexandria had waited for him all of this time, even though it was clear that she hadn't, and why she hadn't. It had only been yesterday, and now Nemeris was...doing this? "Why not?" he spat back, as if disbelieving her. "Have you no regard for my heart?" Oh right, sex was her answer to that, like it was something anyone could just throw around and be alright with. Not him. Not right now, and he was having trouble understanding her logic. He even leaned away when she approached and touched his chin, gray eyes almost glaring at her. He wanted to yell at her, but...what was the point? "Yes, goodnight," he replied, also taking a step back. He felt like a total stranger in this house now, and half wondered if he should just leave. [d]
[NEMERIS] Maybe it was nothing for her, because she had given up on love and her heart long ago. And she often forgot that others did not feel the same way. Maybe she did not know what love really was, anyway, because she had never felt it, sadly. Even her marriage had been an arranged one out of convenience for her father. She had trapped herself alone in this manor, and Eoin had been the first in a while to show her any kind of friendship or care.
She nearly flinched as he yelled at her, eyebrows furrowing a bit, and she instantly regretted even saying anything. “I’m sorry… I just…” She looked down, away from him. She didn’t mean to make him angry, but she understood why, and felt foolish now. “I forgot… You’re an honorable man…Unlike most, nowadays.” She hesitated for a moment and fought back a sigh. “And, I do care… despite what you must think now. I’m sorry. I shouldn't have... ” Her eyes welled up with tears and she turned away from him, rushing out of the room. Nemeris was a complicated and torn woman. She didn’t make sense to many, maybe not even to herself at times. [d]
[EOIN] He understood the loneliness, but even still. This was unwarranted. Although Alexandria was not his anymore, it was the mindset he was in. It would be as though he were betraying her, but most importantly, betraying himself. Nemeris was a friend and nothing more, and he wasn't looking to ruin that. So, it was why he stood his ground even as she began to cry, even as he spoke...and he had nothing he could really say in return. When she left the room, he sighed and ran a hand down his face, as if he didn't believe that had happened. So much for a peaceful night. [d]
[NEMERIS] Perhaps he didn’t fully understand the loneliness Nemeris felt. Eoin had had love in his life. He knew what it was. He felt it before. And he had reminded her just how sad and pathetic her life really was when he had shot down on her feelings regarding Brennus. She had lost every chance she had with love, with her children, with her family, and she was truly alone. So forgive her for being so…brazen. She saw an opportunity (despite the wrong one), which she now knew and felt horribly foolish and embarrassed for. He did not respond to her apology, which made things feel worse. As she reached her room, she slammed the door shut and crawled into her bed, just wanting to escape the rest of this day and all of the emotions flooding through her right now. She was embarrassed, angry, lost, sad, lonely, and even though Eoin had tried convincing her that she did not need to be this way, that she should try to let people in. She just felt further reason now, to continue to push people away and not let them in. Why should she? She was pushed away just as much as she pushed others. And Eoin had just reminded her of that. [d]
