so, I have a secret...

[Ciaran Lee Frye]

It had always been a question of how to tell Catriona, if he was willing to do it. Up until now, Ciaran never thought that he would, and yet he knew better. He knew he had to, and not just for Myra's sake but for his own, for Terra's, even Aoife's now.

He had never been more terrified in his life. Just thinking about having to tell the woman made him stop breathing.

'Do you want me to tell her?' Oh, he wanted to say yes but knew he'd never make her do it. "I appreciate that, sister, but...I fear you would just make it worse," he replied in slight tease, even if he kind of meant it. Ciaran shook his head at the mention of telling their father, and he just sighed again. "I just...have to do it myself. Somehow." Did he just walk up to the woman and come out with it? Was there some way to ease into it? He really didn't know, and that was what he was really struggling with. Ciaran had accepted his fate already- he just had to figure out how to make it happen. That was either brave of him or completely stupid.

A smile cracked across his face at seeing both Myra and Aoife's excitement over the little fire. "I dids! I...dids eet!" Myra exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly. At least she hadn't appeared to be afraid of the fire. To be honest, she never seemed bothered by candles or the fireplace, as far as he could recall. Ciaran's curiosity was piqued, but he was still refraining from trying to further test her for magic. Especially so out in the open.

But that need to inform his family of his mess up grew tenfold at seeing his sister with Myra. It warmed his heart, in all honesty, and he always knew he wanted his daughter to know where she came from. His reservations were still there, but she would be better off with her family, if Catriona allowed it. There was this fleeting worry that the matriarch wouldn't accept Myra, but it was a stupid thought. He knew better than that. Right? He really hated being nervous and vulnerable.

"Thank you," he said out loud, his words directed towards Aoife. It was really thanks for everything, but mostly for pushing him a little today. "And if you ever have a crazy secret to be kept...I owe you one." Ciaran laughed lightly, but he actually meant it. He only ever tattled when it wasn't extremely serious, because he definitely could keep a secret, if Myra wasn't evidence enough.

[Aoife Lee Frye]

Aoife had already begun to plan how she would tell their mother, how she would phrase it as a plea for help- flatter the older woman’s intelligence, her poise, and her skill at straightening out whatever messes her children (or in some cases, husband) found themselves in. But that didn’t mean she didn’t feel the cooling sense of relief when her brother turned down her offer. Just because she had begun to prepare, it didn’t mean she wanted to. Only an idiot would willingly rest their own neck against the chopping block, but you did stupid things for the ones you loved… besides, her head would roll anyway when their mother found out that Aoife had been in on this little secret. So really she had nothing to lose. ”I know you’re scared, just tell her that?” Aoife offered, shrugging her shoulders for what felt like the millionth time that afternoon. ”Be honest…” There wasn’t a lot more she could suggest, if the mystic had anything truly helpful to say she would have already said it. The Lee Fryes could stare down an army, could rush into the fray without a second thought: but they were all petrified of their mother. Aoife even doubted Lee would be able to challenge her if he tried.

”You did! Well done little one.” She didn’t lift her attention from the little girl, heart warming at the excitement on Myra’s features. Aoife missed her brother’s smile, blind to what was playing on Ciaran’s mind as he watched his daughter and his sister share in their little game. She wouldn’t have been able to comfort him even if she had been able to read his mind. Her brother knew where Aoife stood: it was better for Myra to be with the rest of the Lee Fryes. Not only for the life they could offer her, wanting for nothing. But also for the protection and guidance a house full of mystics could offer her- not only in their name but in their skills and experiences. ”We’ll try again next time, okay? That’s enough for now.”

Finally, she lifted her gaze to her brother- head cocked as he thanked her. ”Don’t thank me yet, there’s still a very good chance this is going to blow up in our faces and you know that Ciaran.” Despite the serious nature of her words, Aoife gave him an over-the-top sigh, and if the toddler hadn’t still been leaning against her: she would have mimicked his earlier flop back into the dirt. ”Don’t worry, I’m not hiding any children so I think you’re safe.” It wasn’t a lie, it was very much true, but still: Aoife couldn’t meet her brother’s eyes so quickly busied herself in making sure the little fire was very well and truly snuffed. She wasn’t hiding any secret nieces and nephews, just a letter and the potential to dredge up a decade’s long feud between two very powerful families. Which wasn’t quite as bad as a secret daughter with a commoner… right?

[Ciaran Lee Frye]

No, he definitely couldn't ask Aoife to do that. It wasn't her problem to tell- she was already having to carry some of the burden, simply because she got curious and stumbled upon this all by accident (or more like she was snooping). He meant it, though, he was grateful that she knew, because he felt a little less alone. It sped up the need to figure out what he was going to do about it, however, but still. It helped. She was helping him even if she wasn't truly aware.

'Be honest...' Well, he supposed that was one way to go about it. It was probably the best way, truthfully. Ciaran just feared his reasons wouldn't be good enough. He couldn't even get Aoife to completely understand why he did all of this. Stupid or not, he hadn't made the choice lightly, and yes, he had been terrified. That much he was willing to admit. "Yeah, maybe," he murmured in reply to acknowledge her. That was easier said than done, but he was going to have to do it at some point.

Did that mean he was definitely going to? Would all of this change when Aoife left?

'We'll try again next time, okay?' His expression sobered a little, but the adoration was still in his eyes. He wondered, if something bad happened or if he was unable to tell their mother right away, would Aoife still wish to visit her niece? Would Terra allow it? He figured the woman would be alright with it, knowing that there was someone else that was looking over their daughter. You know, considering she couldn't depend upon him and all of that. Her words still stung to think about, but he wasn't about to let it ruin this heartwarming moment in front of him.

"O'tays!" Myra announced gleefully. She was babbling to herself now, her attention on the loupe as he continued to talk with Aoife.
"I know, but...I needed this, I guess." This push, he meant. Now, it was just a matter of whether or not he'd take that final step to fix this mess.
Myra was turning then to crawl her way back to Ciaran and show him the little device. She stood up on wobbly legs beside him where he held her against his side to make sure she didn't fall. Dark eyes looked squarely at Aoife, narrowing in teasing warning, "Oh, I know you're not hiding any...because I haven't interrogated anyone first." Surely she wouldn't be as stupid as him? It was natural for the Lee Frye brothers to become pretty protective of their only sister, despite how much they argued and taunted. Ciaran might've been a little overly protective which was perhaps why her opinion on this little secret of his mattered so much to him. Maybe it was why he was willing to listen and try to fix it.

[Aoife Lee Frye]

If anything, Aoife was surprised and impressed that her big brother had managed to keep such a huge secret for such a long period of time. So much had happened in the two years that Ciaran had been keeping Myra secret and (more or less) right beneath the family’s nose of all places. Really, it was impressive, more so now she knew he had been sneaking away to visit on occasion… how the older Lee Frye had managed it, she didn’t know, but he had certainly earned the ‘King of Secrets’ moniker. Not that Aoife would ever say that out loud, let alone to his face. Still, she was glad that she had stumbled upon (or, arguably, followed him to) this little scene. The mystic might not have realised just how great the burden of this secret had been upon her brother’s shoulders, but had she known: she would have been glad to know she had relieved it somewhat simply by being there, simply by knowing.

She may have rolled her eyes at his ’Yeah, maybe,’ but Aoife couldn’t quite keep her lips from tugging up into the slightest of smirks. Only Ciaran knew what he was going to do next, how he was going to begin to resolve this- but the mystic had made her opinion known, said her piece, and voiced her concerns. There was nothing more she could do about it now, besides save her brother the trouble and tell Catriona herself- which she had promised him she would at least try not to do. So that option was off the table. Leaving her hands effectively tied and her options exhausted.

The mystic would wait this out, wait for it all to work itself out or go up in flames.

Grey eyes followed Myra, watching as she crawled across to the father she didn’t know. Could she walk away from this? Knowing what she now knew, knowing that guards would be swarming Teronna following the Unseelie attack and that the little girl was here- essentially alone and unprotected. Knowing she wasn’t safe. As much as Aoife trusted her brother’s judgement in general… she wasn’t so sure he was thinking clearly throughout all of this. She didn’t doubt he loved the little girl, that much was clear in the way he looked at her- the way he held her. ”Well, good.” The woman said at last, some sense of finality in her tone. ”It will be fine, anyway- there’s two of us now. “ There had been more than one reason Aoife had been closest to Ciaran growing up, not just in age. As often as she called him an idiot, as many times as they had fought and bickered even as adults

One Lee Frye was trouble, but two could be unstoppable.

She looked away, and quickly, when Ciaran narrowed his eyes at her- attempting to cover the instinctive reaction with an awkward laugh. ”All right, all right.” Aoife said lightly, holding up her palms to him in mock surrender. ”I promise, if I ever find myself with a secret child, I’ll tell you first. No need for interrogations okay?”

[Ciaran Lee Frye]

Practice. All it took was patience and practice to learn how to lie so well. Perhaps, in some instances, it wasn't something he should boast about, but it had certainly come in handy for this whole situation. Regardless, a part of him wished he hadn't kept the secret and just came clean to his family when he knew Terra had been pregnant. He should have just gotten it over with and dealt with the punishments that followed. Now, everything was such a mess, and it wasn't going to get any easier.

He was afraid he couldn't do this, and he was struggling not to dwell on it. Not yet, not right now, because this was his time with his daughter, as well as his sister apparently. He would be glad for this moment alone with them before everything inevitably when up in flames. And that wasn't going to be a fire he so easily walked away from, he imagined.

Was he thinking clearly? Well, he thought he had been doing alright, until this war escalated and they were having to worry about their own kind now. There was a risk of the king and his men having a reason to raid the village in search of Mystics, which most likely meant his child...but there was now also a risk that rogue Mystics might attack. Would they stick to the city, closer to the castle and their main target? Or would they try to take whatever they could, and a small village like Greyshollow would be easy pickings?

His expression faltered a little as he looked to his daughter, his brow furrowing at these thoughts. For some reason, it was going to be even harder to leave her side today. Aoife's words, though, brought his dark gaze over to her, and she managed to garner that small smile from him. '-there's two of us now.' "I suppose there is." And again, he was grateful for it. Ciaran hadn't realized how much he just had to tell someone.

"Uh huh..." her brother muttered, watching her closely for a moment. "I mean it. You can follow in my footsteps any other time but...not this. It's not allowed." He was half joking, but that bit of protectiveness was seeping out. Only he was allowed to be dumb enough to have a child out of wedlock.

[Aoife Lee Frye]

Perhaps Aoife would have been a better soldier if she had been a better liar. Authority issues, had been a term thrown around like confetti in her evaluations- the reason she had never quite managed to make it past the role of Corporal despite her skill and the family name behind her. It had been frustrating really, but there had been nothing she could do about it then and there was even less she could do about it now. Nothing to do but move on, if she re-enlisted no doubt she would be dropped right back to private: and that was something she wasn’t willing to stand for. She had worked too long and too hard just to get one rung up the ladder- Aoife wasn’t going to go through that again.

Besides, did she even really want to re-enlist. To be just another pawn in this chess game between the king and the mystics- she could try and protect her kind from the inside, but there was only so much she could do even if she tried. There was so much to consider- perhaps she should have talked to Ciaran about it, now was a good a chance as any.

Aoife decided against it however, opting instead to stay in the moment and to enjoy these few minutes of peace with her brother and her niece. Once this came out, there would be more opportunities for moments like this (or at least the mystic hoped there would be) but this had been the first time she had really spent any time with her big brother in months: and Aoife didn’t want to ruin what was left of it with more talk of mystics, wardens, the military, and war. Peace was so hard to hold onto, and Aoife had learned to cherish it when it came.
”Follow in your footsteps?” Echoing his words, Aoife let out a short huff of laughter. ”I already did, running off into the army after you- remember?” Changing the subject slightly, Aoife levelled her gaze upon her older brother with a half-smile on her lips. She didn’t want to think about children, especially out of wedlock- the mystic had always been careful, counting the days following her bleeds, and she and Alastair had always been careful: they both had known what this kind of ‘mistake’ would do for their reputations and Aoife’s career.

[Ciaran Lee Frye]

It was a wonder that Ciaran even made it to corporal to begin with. He didn't necessarily have authority issues, but...he didn't often like to listen. To anyone. Sometimes he didn't do something just because someone told him to. It was simply in his nature. These days, though? Well, he wanted to continue to be that obnoxious and carefree man, yet he knew better. He couldn't now, not while Myra and Terra needed the money. Now he actually had to make a better effort. It was proving to be a slower transition than it should have been.

"You didn't stay, though," he replied to her, his voice a little quiet. Ciaran understood why, so he clearly wasn't berating her for it. Still, he wondered how she could go through life without having something to occupy her time. It wasn't as though she was having tea time or organizing parties. That wasn't his sister. She was made of stronger stuff, and frankly, meant for better things than that, despite what their mother wanted.

He watched her for a moment, almost wanting to ask about all of that yet feared it might still be a sensitive subject. So, he switched gears a little as Myra was slumping against him. The child was beginning to get tired, and he figured she'd probably want to nap soon. "What do you do with your time?" he asked Aoife. It was an honest question, because he was curious. If he didn't have the military, Ciaran wasn't sure what he would do. It was kind of a hobby he didn't expect to need...one that he still didn't really want. The Lee Fryes were basically bred to be soldiers, and yet, he wasn't sure how much he wanted to be. Right now, he just didn't have a choice.

[Aoife Lee Frye]

”No, I didn’t.” Aoife hummed, watching the little girl at her brother’s side. It had all just seemed too much at the time, the woman had barely been able to drag herself out of bed some days- sticking to her duties had seemed closer to impossible. But that hadn’t been the only reason the mystic had left: she had lost faith, after everything she had gone through and when they hadn’t even given her an explanation for Alasdair’s death… it was difficult to find it in herself to believe that what she was doing was actually helping anyone. Little more than serving a mad king on a fool’s errand. The military might have kept her family safe, out of suspicion… but when Allarick’s war was killing even the wardens, it didn’t seem as though anyone was truly safe. Plus, without him, without Alasdair… the military just hadn’t felt like where she belonged anymore. The mystic had seen him everywhere she looked, more than once she would have sworn she saw the warden out of the corner of her eye- only to turn and find another soldier in his place. ”Too many ghosts.” She shrugged, feeling herself closing off even as she offered her brother an explanation. It had gotten easier- but at the time, it had been unbearable.

Grey eyes found Ciaran again, drifting lazily from the toddler and up to him. ”Depends on how I’m feeling I suppose, but I keep busy- I’ve been spending a lot of time up on the beaches to the west of Ethion, just walking, sometimes riding. It’s nice, peaceful- usually anyway.” Aoife began, leaning forward and resting her chin upon her hands. ”The barracks on occasion, it’s the only place to find a decent sparring partner with father being so busy…” The list seemed to go on, and on, nothing the mystic would really class as a hobby- but since finding herself out of a profession, Aoife had found herself with a lot more time on her hands. ”I guess I've been reading a lot as well, poetry and mama’s old folklore books mostly- anything short.” Even recently, the mystic hadn’t been able to focus on longer texts- her mind wandering, her eyes drifting in and out of focus until she found she had been reading the same page over and over again only none of it had been taken in. ”I’ve been teaching Rosemary how to protect herself too… though she’s seemed preoccupied of late.”

[Ciaran Lee Frye]

He didn't blame her. Actually, he wasn't sure how she even managed. Aoife was a lot stronger than he ever gave her credit for, precisely why he was greatly considering her words and her urging pleas to tell their family about Myra. Ciaran saw what Alasdair's death had done to his sister, and for a brief moment, as he was looking at his daughter, he feared it. The Unseelie were restless, the Wardens were relentless...how much longer was he going to wait and risk something possibly happening to the girl, or even Terra? Either scenario was painful, if he were to be honest, but one of those outcomes would hurt a lot more...

'Too many ghosts.' His expression softened a bit, and he was also feeling a little guilty. Maybe he shouldn't have prodded or mentioned anything in relation to the military...but then again, it was probably difficult for Aoife not to find ghosts in everything. Still, he felt bad.

Then, she was telling him how she passed the time, and he couldn't help but find it all incredibly...dull. Dark eyes watched her, blinking as though he was trying not to fall asleep. Any more, and he might pretend to do so. At the mention of Rosemary, however, it drifted away. "Oh? Busy with the princess?" There was a slight tinge of annoyance in his voice, if only because he didn't like the idea of his own flesh and blood getting close to the enemy. Sure, the princess hadn't exactly lifted a hand and done any wrong, but she was the king's daughter, and that was enough for him.

Myra was was beginning to get restless, silently shoving the loupe into his view as if to show him. Or maybe burn him, he couldn't really tell. "It sounds like Aoife has kind of a dull life, huh?" he asked the child playfully but obviously loud enough for his sister to hear. "But the best part of that...is when Grandma finds out what I've done, Aoife can watch you while I'm-" He was going to jokingly say "dead" but decided not to. "Running for my life." Although he was saying this with an amused smile, a part of him might have believed it.

[Aoife Lee Frye]

The worst part had been not knowing. She wasn’t supposed to know of Alasdair’s position as a Warden, they couldn’t have told her what truly happened without acknowledging their existence. She knew all too well how important secrecy was to their mission: the scariest monster is the one that never shows their face. Mystics feared the monster in the dark, the men they warned their children about even if they didn’t wholly believe in their existence. The rest of Teronna didn’t think they were real, and if something didn’t exist it couldn’t be questioned. It was a clever system Allarick had put into place, Aoife would grant him that. She despised it, all it had already taken and all it threatened to take from her. Even if she had loved Alasdair, she hated what he had been a part of.

Now she had her answers, it was a struggle every day to not let her grief fester into vengeance. Aoife told herself that she wanted no part in this war. But she would be damned if she let the Mad King’s Wardens take anything else from her. She hadn’t realised that as her thoughts had begun to stray down that dark path, her expression had darkened somewhat- body stiffening. When grey eyes fell once again on Myra, Aoife’s expression may have softened; but her resolve was only strengthened.

”I don’t know.” The woman sighed, running a hand through the length of her hair as conversation turned back to their cousin. ”Something is bothering her, I- I- guess I just, just didn’t know how to ask her about it.” Aoife lacked the tact of her mother, the almost insidious way in which their mother could draw out even the most well buried secrets through even the most idle of conversation. Whatever it was that had been bothering Rosemary McIntyre , Aoife just hoped her cousin was okay.

If the little girl had been trying to burn her father, burn Kiki, it wouldn’t have been much good. Aoife knew. As a child she had tried the same trick many times growing up. But they mystic didn’t say anything, instead watching with an amused grin. ”We can’t all have secret families out in the woods Ciaran,” She said, humour seeping into her tone. It was probably too soon to be making light of the situation, but he had just called her life dull. That and, well, he was probably right. But, at least she hadn’t resorted to taking up sewing… that was something, right? ”Yup, plenty of time to teach you how to get into trouble little one- Kiki might have to run all the way to the wellspring to escape your grandmama.”

Standing, Aoife brushed away the dried dirt and dead leaves that had clung to her breeches- dusting down her coat as well for good measure. Causally, she paced over to her big brother and the toddler at his side. Dropping in to a crouch, so she was eye level with Myra, Aoife spoke gently ”I’ll need that back, little one, can’t have you starting fires until you know how to stop them.” She held out a gloved hand, palm open to take the little loupe back- there would be a next time, perhaps she would even get Myra one of her own when she was older, but for now: Aoife thought it better not to leave anything behind with the toddler, lest her mother ask questions Ciaran didn’t want to answer just yet.

[Ciaran Lee Frye]

It was clear Ciaran had a lot to reflect upon, a lot more than usual. He made it seem, at times, that this was no big deal...but, inside, he was spinning madly. Sometimes, he didn't know which way was up anymore. It was like he was deep beneath the waves, unable to break through the surface for air. The Mystic knew it would be more ideal for his family to know, yet he couldn't seem to shake that very, very small chance that Terra and his daughter would be shunned and pushed to the side. He knew he messed up, but certainly the Lee Fryes wouldn't cast them away like that? Even Aoife seemed to be accepting of it, despite how much of a shock it had been.

The bit of annoyance that had been in his voice disappeared the second he heard her explain a little further that there was something going on with their cousin. "You just ask, Aoife," he said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "She's family. If you're worried about her, let her know." Ciaran offered a light smile in reassurance, perhaps indicating that she managed to make him feel better. Maybe she didn't even realize it despite him thanking her. And they both knew Rosemary wasn't the kind to be cruel. If she didn't wish to talk about whatever it was, she'd politely say so.

'We can't all have secret families out in the woods, Ciaran.' He shouldn't have laughed at that, but of course he did. For him, it definitely wasn't too soon to be making light of the situation- if anything, it helped in a strange way. It made this whole ordeal feel more real, more natural, and a part of him wanted the rest of his family to make jokes about it. Lightly, mind you. He'd have his limit. It wasn't going to be like that for awhile if he managed to tell their mother, he was sure.

And he was still chuckling. "It's a good thing I'm a fast runner, I suppose..." he murmured in good humor. In all honesty, Ciaran could handle what the rest of his siblings might say or do, even society if they cared, but his mother? Despite testing her patience many times growing up, the last thing he wanted to do was severely disappoint her. It could very well be a big factor in why he kept this a secret for so long, although giving the woman a granddaughter might have earned him points.

Myra was getting "droopy", still lazily leaning against him as her head began to find its way to his shoulder once more. She was still standing there, though, playing with the little firestarter quietly. That is, until her aunt was asking for it back. The girl's attention flickered from Aoife's face to her outstretched hand before placing the loupe into the woman's palm. "'tay," she said softly, but her grin was wide. It was secretly warming Ciaran's heart to see his daughter taking to the woman so easily.

How was he going to tell everyone? That fear was creeping back but he was trying to ignore it.

"I should probably get her to try and nap..." he said quietly, not exactly wanting to ask her to leave. The longer Aoife stayed, though, the harder it would probably be for him. Even Myra. "I'm also not sure when Terra will be back." That was the real reason why he knew she would have to go soon.

[Aoife Lee Frye]

It seemed as though Aoife and her brothers were getting into the habit of getting out of their depth- of drowning beneath waves that were never really there. Not knowing where to turn and not knowing who to turn to. What would have happened if the mystic hadn’t followed her brother into the woods today? If she hadn’t trailed him all the way to Greyshollow? Would he had continued to keep this secret until one of their other siblings inevitably did the same thing she had? No-one would ever know, what was done was done and the chips were down. Just as no one could hope to know what would happen next. It was overwhelming, and sometimes it was easier to drown than to cry for help.

Oh great, now he was giving her advice? ”I know, I know.” Aoife said, brushing it off. It sounded easy right? To just ask. How many times had people asked her how she was doing? The same amount of times she had told them fine... what if Rosemary did the same? Just shut down and shut her out? The mystic thought it was better not to risk it, better to wait for the younger woman to come to her. ”I’ll think about it…” The woman lied, unable to bring those grey eyes of hers up to rest upon her brother. ”We’ll see…”

Perhaps she would think about it.

”Good thing.” Aoife said in a low chuckle. Come to think of it, she couldn’t recall a single instance in which she had seen their mother run. Walk quickly perhaps, practically gliding when her skirts were long enough- but Aoife had never so much seen Catriona hurry let alone run. The thought only made her laugh even more. Whilst most Lee Fryes were made of strong stuff, their mother seemed to be formed of iron. Unbendable and unbreakable. She truly was terrifying when she wished to be, and Aoife could almost see why Ciaran had kept this from her… almost.

Oh, that was easy. Aoife thought when the little girl dropped the loupe into her waiting palm with a soft ’tay’. She was definitely going to like this kid. It wasn’t often one so young did as they were told quite so quickly. ”Next time little one.” The woman said once again, ruffling Myra’s curls in the exact same way she would ruffle Ciaran’s when she was trying to annoy him.

Aoife was back on her feet, ”You don’t need to tell me twice brother- I’m going.” She said, tone light and teasing as she took the hint. ”Don’t want to drop you in even more hot water.” Ruffling his hair as she passed, the woman headed back towards the treeline- turning to wave awkwardly before mounting up and riding back towards Lasairdubh. Whether Ciaran was planning to tell the family or not… they both knew this secret wasn’t going to stay a secret for much longer.

She just hoped she didn’t run into anyone else on the way home.

[end scene]