Pyxis
27
Increasingly complicated
Ex-soldier
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Post by Aoife Lee Frye on Mar 10, 2021 7:33:00 GMT -5
Something else Aoife didn’t understand, how was it not for Ciaran to decide? The girl was as much his as she was her mother’s afterall, why didn’t he get a say in it? Not only that, surely she had a right to know? To at least have the opportunity to learn of her heritage. Besides, Myra was Ciaran’s only child... at least as far as the mystic knew, but she highly doubted that her brother was managing to keep two secrets…. Which meant bastard child or not, Myra could claim her father’s title if she wished. By not letting her know who her father was, they were essentially denying her of her birth right alongside the protection of her extended family. Either way, it just didn’t sit right. ”What do you want? She’s as much yours as she is her mother’s.” She pointed out, even if Terra was raising the child- the man couldn’t deny that he had some kind of right to be involved.
”I said you were a fuck up because you said you were a fuck up.” The woman sighed, ”Do you see how ridiculous it sounds?” So her brother hadn’t managed to climb up the ranks as their brother’s had, so he hadn’t married and given their mother legitimate grandchildren to coo and fawn over- that didn’t make him a screw up, at least as far as she was concerned. At least her brother had managed to stay in the military. The only person who actually believed Ciaran had ruined his life was Ciaran.
Do you have some huge damn secret that would make this look like nothing?
Aoife stiffened, jaw clenching. For the first time that morning, the mystic wasn’t quite able to meet her big brother’s eyes. Instead she let her gaze drop to the little girl, watching as she toyed with the small stones. Everything had been so much simpler when they were young. ”No.” She had probably paused for too long before speaking. ”I don’t.” It was mostly true, she didn’t have a huge secret, just a letter she didn’t quite know how to respond to and some feelings she didn’t quite understand. Even then, it would hardly make Ciaran hiding away his daughter seem like nothing. ”You don’t know how mama will take this…” She couldn’t speak for their mother, but Aoife couldn’t help but think the man was making a mountain out of a molehill- jumping to the worst possible scenario without even pausing to consider that there may have been a better one. ”She’s not exactly kept quiet about wanting a granddaughter… and you could give her one.”
No, Catriona hadn’t been quiet about wanting a granddaughter. A little girl to dress in pretty dresses and teach to act like a proper lady. One that wouldn’t run off after her brothers with weapon in hand and a war cry on her lips… it didn’t matter how many times Aoife painted her lips or brushed through her hair, how well she dressed or how many jewels she managed to string around her neck for dinner- Aoife had never been able to be the daughter her mother had wanted. She had tried, she was still trying. But it was never enough. And Ciaran thought he was the family fuck up.
Honestly, talking to him was like talking to a brick wall sometimes. She wondered if anything she was saying was making it through that thick skull. Drawing on the last reserves of her patience, Aoife settled down in the grass- sitting cross legged and beginning to stack loose stones into a small pile in front of Myra. As she spoke, the mystic would intermittently glance up at her big brother. Though, as usual, it was easier to speak candidly when she wasn’t looking at him. ”Every single man does that.” She pointed out, when their conversation turned to marriage. It scared everyone. There was a reason her own engagement had been so long, other things had always gotten in the way, they had always found excuses, always had a distraction come up- something more important. And that was when they both wanted to be together. ”It’s normal to be scared, and that’s when you don’t already have a baby.”
”She made the decision to go to bed with you Ciaran. You both did this…” Eyes on the small pile of stones, Aoife knew her brother- knew that there was no way he had forced himself upon the woman. Which meant that this was as much on Terra’s shoulders as it was on his. ”... you don’t, you,” Another sigh, another moment scrabbling for not just the right words, but for any words. ”You don’t be anything, you just are it just- kind of happens. Suddenly you think of them before you think of yourself or anyone else- even if they drive you up the wall- like how you came here after last night because you were worried… were you just worried about Myra, or were you worried about Terra too?”
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Lunari
29
Uh...
Army Soldier
Tier 1 Character
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Post by Ciaran Lee Frye on Mar 10, 2021 13:58:20 GMT -5
Gods, Myra should be his only child. He wasn't that much of an idiot. And Aoife was right about this, he wasn't going to argue with it, but at the same time it was that worry that he couldn't seem to explain well enough to get his sister to understand. She didn't have to agree, but she didn't seem to get it, either. There was that dark, nagging thought at the back of his mind, telling him to just abandon them, thinking they would be better off. If he ever actually did such a dumb thing, what was the point of Myra knowing him? It was foolish, it was scary, and it was selfish, but no one else was in his shoes right now. No one knew his mind and his fears, no matter how much he tried to explain it. Thus far, he had proved he wasn't that man, but what he had done already hadn't been terribly better.
'What do you want?' That was the ultimate question, wasn't it? Ciaran just sighed again, his posture drooping. "I don't know..." he answered honestly. He really didn't. One day, he thought he did, then it changed the next, or he let that confusion and fear get a hold of him.
"It's not ridiculous to me." He wasn't yelling, but his voice was stern, almost hurt, and straight to the point. Aoife was only seeing this situation from one side- her own. And this didn't involve her. She didn't know what it was like to have something like this sprung on her (and he prayed she never did, truth be told). She didn't know the thoughts that went on in his head and why he would go to such extremes. But that was the thing- fear made people do either very brave or very stupid things.
Ciaran liked to pretend he had his shit together, that he was alright with his choices and nothing bothered him. It was an act. Certainly some of his family could see right through it. And who was she to judge what he was allowed to fear? It wasn't like he asked for it. He had his issues, his worries, and she had hers. That was life.
And for a brief moment, he wasn't thinking about his own concerns. The way Aoife hesitated, even though it was brief, made him pause. He was the wrong brother to try and hide something from, because if he suspected anything, even a tiny bit of something being off, he would latch onto it. His sister better pray that, whatever it was, didn't come up again.
She can't expect to keep a secret from the current king of secrets, okay?
'You don't know how mama will take this...' "You're right, I don't," he answered her immediately. "And that's exactly the scary part about it." It could go in a variety of ways. Ciaran didn't purposely keep her granddaughter away from her to hurt her, not on purpose, but this was a situation that hurt no matter what.
All Aoife had to do was share her thoughts, and it would have further proved his point. You were your own worst critic. The mind could be a dangerous, dark place, making you believe things that possibly weren't real, no matter what anyone told you. Despite his usual demeanor, sometimes it was an act to hide the anxiety that plagued him...so, naturally, he was going to believe what he did. Hence the reason why he kept saying he was a fuck up. He hadn't done much with his life to make him think otherwise.
Just like his sister seemed to think she wasn't a good enough daughter.
He had stopped his pacing to find her sitting on the ground, immediately gaining Myra's attention again. The girl watched her aunt in curiosity as she stacked the stones before climbing up to her feet; picking up a nearby stone to toddle her way closer. Small hand held the rock out to Aoife, a smile on her face and further accentuating those round cheeks. Clearly she was unfazed by the tension in the air. "Put...da rock on dere?" Well, she was beginning to talk a bit more in front of her. Aoife thought she was probably a mute, but she'd be surprised. It was just that she was a stranger to Myra and she had been a little unsure.
He felt a smile tug at his mouth before he let the rest of his anger fall onto the backburner, for now, and lowered himself onto the ground beside the two. Myra was still wandering around to find more rocks for Aoife. 'It's normal to be scared, and that's when you don't already have a baby.' His sister continued on still, and he remained quiet as he offered his daughter a small pebble that had been nearby so that she could gleefully hand it over to Aoife.
'You don’t be anything, you just are it just- kind of happens.' His expression softened a little more. Well, when she actually tried, she was able to find somewhat comforting words, even if she stammered. However, her question had him bite his tongue, turning his attention to the ever-growing pile of stones. "Terra too," he finally replied after warring with himself. He wanted to lie, but there really was no point in doing so now. Just the other day, when he frantically rushed here, he had called out Terra's name in fear when he couldn't find them. It wasn't that he didn't care about the woman, he just didn't understand it or how deep that care went. He wasn't allowing himself the chance to find out, maybe. They had been good friends those few years ago, where he genuinely enjoyed her company even just for idle chitchat. Now, that had been ruined because he had panicked and didn't know how to handle this situation.
"I don't know what I'm doing," he confessed further, shrugging a single shoulder. "And I'm...scared that I'll make the wrong choice again and make all of this twenty times worse." There was that word again: scared. Ciaran never really used it before, and he was dropping it into the conversation now like it was normal.
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Pyxis
27
Increasingly complicated
Ex-soldier
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Post by Aoife Lee Frye on Mar 10, 2021 16:24:42 GMT -5
The topic of children had never come up for Aoife, it had been a conversation for another time, something they would have worried about after they had gotten married. Another potential future that had been taken away from her. Even though the mystic had never stopped to consider children, even the possibility of them: Aoife couldn’t imagine walking away from any member of her flesh and blood, of leaving them behind, let alone a defenseless child. If she had known the thoughts that were ticking away behind her brother’s brown eyes, Aoife would probably have not taken that well.
Not that she had really taken any of this well. At all really.
She couldn’t blame him for not knowing what he wanted, Aoife couldn’t blame anyone for that. And seeing the way her brother drooped, seeming to deflate before her, send a small pang of pity through her. It can’t have been easy for Ciaran, going through all this. But Aoife still thought it would have been easier if he had just spoken to someone else about it all. If someone else had been there to tell him that keeping a secret daughter in the next village over from their ancestral home maybe wasn’t the best way to respond to this situation. Granted, no better suggestions immediately sprung to the mystic’s mind, but that didn’t mean their mother or one of their more sensible brothers wouldn’t have known what to do… Again, for what seemed like the umpteenth time that morning, Aoife was at a loss for words: how could she tell him what he wanted? She wasn’t in his head. She had only had a few minutes to adjust to the situation and Ciaran had been deliberating over all this for two whole years.
”Really? Because you seemed pretty offended when I called you a fuck up. It is ridiculous to call yourself a fuck up and then be offended when someone else calls you a fuck up when they don’t even mean it.” Aoife pointed out, her voice strained as she desperately clung to the last reserves of her patience. The situation itself wasn’t ridiculous, many lords had bastards, at least Ciaran seemed to be taking care of his… grey eyes fell once again to the little girl. Maybe they should be watching how many times they said the words ‘fuck up- "F-f-foo-" had been more or less halfway there and Ciaran hadn’t seemed exactly thrilled by his daughter’s expanding vocabulary. ”I just don’t understand why you’re being so tough on yourself is all, no-one else thinks you’re a fuck up.” She thought he was an idiot and maybe spent a little too much time on his hair, but she didn’t think he was a fuck-up at all.
Aoife didn’t notice the way Ciaran paused, the scrutiny she had just unknowingly put herself under. As far as she was concerned, the mystic had handled that pretty smoothly and the conversation had shifted back to the more important secret here: Myra. The King of Secrets had lost his crown, at least kind of- granted, it was still a secret, only now Aoife was in on it. Two out of eight rather than the one out of eight that knew about the letter she had hidden away beneath the loose panel in her room only she knew about.
The speed of his answer made Aoife think that this wasn’t the first time Ciaran was being forced to confront the possibilities, the what ifs, of owning up to the Lee Frye matriarch. ”You’ll never know unless you tell her.” No doubt he knew that, and his sister was doing little more than stating the obvious. ”And the longer you leave it, the harder it will be…”... and no doubt the angrier she will be. Again, she was probably stating the obvious here, but the mystic felt as though it needed to be said. Even as she was speaking to her brother, Aoife directed most of her attention towards the ever growing stack of stones and pebbles on the ground between her and Myra, between her and her niece. Just when Aoife had collected all the stones within arms reach, the little girl came toddling forward with a small rock in hand.
Put...da rock on dere? Aoife couldn’t help but smile at that, if she was surprised that the little girl could speak so well- she didn’t show it. Instead the mystic held out a gloved hand to take the rock and add it to the pile. ”Yes, little one, I’ll put the rock on there- could you bring me a bigger one?” Whilst her tone with her brother had been stern at times, terse even, her tone with her the little girl was softer. But then again, Myra hadn’t been testing her patience quite so much.
She didn’t look over at him as he settled upon the ground, instead Aoife focused her attention to the task at hand. Deliberately, she cleared a small patch of dirt about the size of her palm- circling it with some of the stones and rocks Myra brought and some of her own from the small pile. ”Terra too.” Aoife echoed, as though repeating it would help both Aoife and her brother understand more clearly. ”It doesn’t have to make sense you know, to either of you- I hated him at first, y’know- he was just in the way, always seemed to know what I was thinking. I don’t think he really liked me all that much either...” Aoife was smiling then, her eyes on the stones but her mind falling back into those all too familiar memories. It wasn’t often she reflected on the good ones, they had always seemed too painful until recently. ”But after a little while, once we figured out how to work together- it just, kind of clicked into place, and I couldn’t imagine him not being in the way.”
Now though, now she didn’t have to imagine it: she had to live with it.
Clearing her throat, Aoife tried to cough away the lump that was forming. ”Maybe the same will happen to you and Terra, if you give it a chance.” She shrugged then, the carefree tone in her voice sounding just more than a little forced. ”What happens if you make no choice and things get worse? Or if you make the right choice and things get better? Her life will be easier with a father Ciaran… you know that, deep down. And your life will be better, if she’s with you and you know she’s safe.”
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Lunari
29
Uh...
Army Soldier
Tier 1 Character
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Post by Ciaran Lee Frye on Mar 10, 2021 20:48:13 GMT -5
Any way he had seen it, it had felt like a loss. It felt like it was going to get worse. He was afraid of further disappointment, regardless of whether or not his family would view it that way. He was afraid of giving in or doing what was expected of him in this regard, and just somehow hurting Terra or Myra further. Ciaran didn't know how to explain any of this- not to Aoife, not to anyone. Not even to himself, really. It was this vicious cycle he couldn't find a way out of, no matter how he looked at it. He was trying, but he never claimed to be any good at solving problems, even his own.
Lying and hiding was what came naturally to him, so of course he felt safer doing that. It worked for a short while, but now? With these Unseelie lingering around, it was beginning to change a lot of things for him.
"Of course I got offended!" he exclaimed, but not entirely in anger. "You repeated it, and it's ingrained in me to, well...get offensive." It was definitely the truth, but for the most part it was meant to be kind of humorous. They were siblings- sometimes he just argued for the sake of arguing and no real reason for it. And even if he believed he was a fuck up, it didn't really mean that he wanted to hear her repeat it. That also didn't exactly help with the argument that he apparently wasn't a fuck up.
'You'll never know unless you tell her.' It still didn't make it any less frightening of an idea. Ciaran never liked telling that woman anything bad, so it was curious that he kept doing stupid things which resulted in him having to tell her anyway. Again with the vicious cycle. Maybe it was a sickness. "Even if I wanted to or was ready to...how would you propose I even tell her? I doubt some flowers and an apology will do." He was being cheeky again, but he was also seriously asking.
Whether or not he was still annoyed or angry, it was very hard not to smile softly as Aoife began to interact with Myra a little more. Sure, his sister could be awkward around kids, but she was doing fairly well right now. It was sweet, despite the fact that she was probably about to argue with him further about everything. He relished in this moment for as briefly as it might last while his daughter was walking around them again, happily in search of a bigger rock for Auntie Aoife.
But his sister wasn't berating him. He saw the way those memories changed her expression as she spoke about Alasdair, how she didn't seem to crack so much like she once had just from the mere thought of him. She really was doing better, wasn't she? Although she had been yelling at him, and he certainly wasn't her favorite person right now, he was glad in that moment. He was happy for her that she was becoming more like herself again, even if it wasn't completely yet. Ciaran hadn't fully realized it until then, but he had missed her.
He couldn't stop himself from reaching out to gently squeeze her shoulder. Maybe it was in reassurance, maybe it was a silent way of thanking her for sharing that. Perhaps it even helped him in some way, but he didn't voice it.
'Her life will be easier with a father Ciaran… you know that, deep down. And your life will be better, if she’s with you and you know she’s safe.' Gods dammit.
"Uuuugh!" he let out in loud, mock annoyance. Ciaran threw his arms up before dramatically falling backwards onto his back, his knees propped up as he stared up at the sky. "Why do you have to be annoyingly wise and everything?" That was actually a compliment, if she couldn't guess.
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Pyxis
27
Increasingly complicated
Ex-soldier
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Post by Aoife Lee Frye on Mar 11, 2021 13:21:14 GMT -5
”Well you’d have probably just told me it was still true if I disagreed with you- what was I supposed to say Ciaran?” The volume of her voice was rising, he really was testing her patience today, wasn’t he? It seemed as though they had confused each other, sinking into bickering for bickering’s sake as was common with siblings. At least they hadn’t started arguing about who was the bigger fuck up of the two, or started actually fighting in front of the toddler. Even though Myra seemed fairly calm amidst the tension that had risen and fallen between the two Lee Fryes that morning, Aoife didn’t think she would have been able to ignore the two of them launching themselves at each other- besides, they were probably a little too big for petty violence now. At least most of the time. ”Well look where that got you, got us.” She huffed, arms folded across her chest as she levelled a steely glare at her big brother- though, as was usual for Aoife, she didn’t manage to hold it for long before it softened, melting away as her attention returned once more to the little girl and the game they were almost playing.
How would he be able to tell their mother…? That was the question. It would have probably been easier at the time, to own up to the mistake there and then, so they could make it right- whatever right was- before it escalated. Before Myra was walking and talking and calling Ciaran Kiki, they could hardly say the girl was legitimate now… no one would believe it. It wouldn’t be easy to explain to her either, that she had a family, one as large and old as theirs. How did you tell a young girl that she wasn’t who she had thought she was, that there were so many people that would protect her when previously the only constant in her life had been her mother? It was simple enough for Aoife to tell her brother to tell their mother, but she didn’t have an answer for him as to how. ”Okay, you wait until someone else does something really bad, and then you tell her?” Aoife suggested unhelpfully. There wasn’t an easy way, at least there wasn’t an easy way that came to mind. Their mother would come around, she just knew it. How much of her wrath would be wrought before she came around though… that the mystic didn’t know.
Into the patch of dirt she had cleared, Aoife began to place the few dryish pieces of leaves and grass she could find. The snow may have melted, but there was still the morning dew to contend with- it clung to the blades of grass, made the leaves soggy rather than crisp, and seemed to have long seeped into whatever twigs were lying around. But, somehow the mystic found enough material to make a small pile. ”Myra.” She said, her voice low and gentle- as though she were soothing a frightened horse rather than calling her niece to her. ”Sit here.” With one hand, Aoife tapped the ground at the other side of her teeny makeshift stack of kindling. With the other, the mystic rummaged in her pocket for the jeweller’s loupe she often carried. A tinderbox was more practical, but this was easier to carry- besides, it was also much more dramatic.
She had gotten a little carried away, talking about the past. But even as she did so, Aoife felt a little of the weight lift from her shoulders. Nearly a year had passed, so much time to be trapped with her own thoughts, but finding his grave had been the key- saying goodbye, knowing it was goodbye, had taken her hope but it had also brought her peace. Brought her the quiet she needed to put herself back together a little.
Her brother’s hand on her shoulder brought her back to her senses, and Aoife clumsily wiped away the tears before they even had the chance to spill over.
Luckily, Ciaran was acting like an idiot- flopping back into the grass with a loud groan. And that was more than enough to chase away the last of the melancholy, more than enough to coax a short burst of laughter from her. ”Because one of us has to.” She said matter-of-factly, offering her brother a half-shrug he probably couldn't even see from where he lay, ”And it didn’t seem like you were gonna be.”
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Lunari
29
Uh...
Army Soldier
Tier 1 Character
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Post by Ciaran Lee Frye on Mar 11, 2021 17:14:25 GMT -5
If the argument had persisted, it might have resulted in actual petty violence. At least, he wouldn't think they were too old for such things. It wouldn't have been the first time for any of the Lee Frye siblings, either, child present or not. Sister or not. Aoife was quite capable of holding her own, and maybe he was just too tired right now. Sure, he'll chalk it up to that.
'Well look where that got you, got us.' Oh yes, she was a part of this now whether she liked it or not. That's what she got for snooping around, eh? Ciaran actually grinned a little- a taunting smirk that expressed all of this without him having to speak a word. She was screwed. However, if she wasn't able to actually lie and keep a secret, he was the bigger dead man. Why couldn't Iain or one of the twins have found him?
Ciaran knew, that if he was going to tell the truth, he was going to have to do it soon. Myra was still young enough to not fully understand everything that was going on, it would be an easy transition. But, a transition into what? There was that big, lingering, confusing question mark over his head. He didn't know what he wanted to do, or how he would even go about this. Any of it. And now that Aoife knew, he felt like his time was cut even shorter before this completely blew up in his face.
At his sister's suggestion of waiting until someone else did something bad, he couldn't hold in his laughter. That definitely wasn't a helpful suggestion, but it was amusing to think about in the very least. "Alright, so...do me a favor, yeah? Mess up really bad for me? Anything. She might go lenient on you since you're the only daughter." No, probably not, but he could dream. Then he appeared thoughtful for a moment, pretending to mutter to himself, "Or maybe I could trick Iain into something dumb..."
Actually, that was a valid idea for all of three seconds.
At her aunt's beckoning, Myra made her way over to sit on the ground beside her, those wide brown eyes watching as the woman pulled something out from her pocket. A curious hand reached up as if wanting to see but didn't outright try to take the object.
After all of this, after feeling like the weight of the world was on his shoulders...it had eased somewhat, even a small amount, to have Aoife there. She knew now, and although he knew the trouble that would bring the both of them, he was also grateful for it. She didn't have to agree with him on any of it, but this still helped. Especially when she laughed. "I'm never gonna be," he added, so matter of fact. It was partially a joke.
Ciaran rose up on an elbow to watch what the girls were doing as his brow furrowed a little. "I'm...going to need you to keep this a secret, Aoife. Just until I can figure things out, alright?" He may not be on his knees, but he was softly begging her. Truthfully, Ciaran wasn't sure if he was leaning towards telling Catriona or not, yet he wasn't about to outright say that and get the whole lecture again.
He just needed time to think.
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Pyxis
27
Increasingly complicated
Ex-soldier
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Post by Aoife Lee Frye on Mar 11, 2021 19:06:38 GMT -5
It had been quite some time since Aoife had lowered herself to petty violence against any of her siblings, but even if she was a little rusty- she felt as though she had a good chance of at least holding her own against Ciaran. Luckily, (for him) it didn’t come to that. But there was still time, the day was still young. Very young.
Eyes narrowed at the older Lee Frye when he had the audacity to actually smirk at her. Maybe she shouldn’t have followed him out here, she had walked right into this big secret without pausing to think twice. Now it was truly too late. Aoife couldn’t forget this, couldn’t ride back to Lasairdubh and pretend it had all been a bad dream. It wasn’t as though she had walked in on her brother in an intimate moment or practising his dance moves alone- Aoife had stumbled upon something much, much bigger. Something that had the potential to affect them all, not just Ciaran and herself. She still couldn’t believe he was smirking. Her brother knew how quickly secrets could eat her up, how quickly they often spilled over as soon as anyone asked her a question that was remotely related- and this was a big one.
”Mess up really bad?” Aoife echoed, actually pausing to consider it. Which would be worse in their mother’s eyes? Her daughter having received a secret letter from a DeGraff, a letter which detailed a moment the two had shared? Or her son keeping an illegitimate granddaughter right beneath her nose, for two whole years without a word? If the mystic had understood exactly what was going on between her and the soldier, had some kind of comprehension of the emotions he instilled in her, this might have been the time for Aoife to confess to the Lee Frye matriarch… afterall, surely Ciaran’s secret was worse? Right? ”Okay brother, for you-” The mystic said lightly, pausing as though she was weighing up her options. ”- I’m willing to start two, maybe three fires, four tops. Small ones.” It was mostly a joke, though it wouldn’t have been the first time one of Catriona’s children set the house on fire- it wouldn’t even be the first time one of them had set the house on fire on purpose. But even that probably wouldn’t be enough to overshadow this.
With practised movements, the mystic flipped open the loup and angled the lens so it caught the sun just right. As though by magic, though really it was science, the beam of light focused to a small point under Aoife’s careful control- and within a few moments the little pile of kindling was smoking, a second later it burst into flames. The pile was so small, it took less than a minute for the fire to burn itself out, to reduce itself to a tiny pile of smouldering ashes. All the while, Aoife watched her niece with interest, wondering how the little girl would react to this. Only when the fire had burned out did the mystic pass the little device over to Myra and set to building another little pile of tinder and kindling.
I'm never gonna be. ”Well you’re halfway there, you might not be wise but you sure are annoying- always have been.” She shrugged. It was a joke, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t a little true. But then the conversation turned once more towards the serious. ”How long is it going to take you to figure it out?” She asked, unable to keep the concern from her voice. ”I can’t avoid Mama forever whilst you think. Alright? If she mentions grandkids or where we’ve been or- or- or…” She was scrambling now, and Aoife knew it. Thankfully the family were used to her keeping to herself, so keeping away from Catriona might not be so difficult after all. ”But I will try, okay?”
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Lunari
29
Uh...
Army Soldier
Tier 1 Character
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Post by Ciaran Lee Frye on Mar 12, 2021 11:41:38 GMT -5
Smiling and laughing oftentimes was his mask. Even when something was bothering him or even worrying him, Ciaran usually tried to hide it from others, especially his family. He didn't like questions, and he also didn't like showing vulnerability. So yes, he smirked because it was all he could think to do right now, attempting to prove that this wasn't an even bigger mess than before.
But it was so much bigger now, and he knew it. He was so very aware of it.
'Okay brother, for you-' Ciaran actually looked at her a little expectantly, as if she were ready to confess something or had some insane idea that might help his whole situation. Instead, she didn't, but her response was at least making him laugh again; a wide smile spreading across his face without much effort. "Thanks, but I think it's going to take a lot more than that..." he mused quietly. It would require an entire forest fire, maybe. Then again, he wondered if that would be enough.
And, if he wasn't already smiling enough, Aoife's little fire trick had Myra shrieking in laughter and kept the mirth on his face. The child seemed completely entranced by her aunt’s “magic trick”, clapping her tiny hands together as she bounced in excitement. For a brief second, he wondered (and feared) that his daughter was going to reach out to the flames but they died out before the thought could fully process. Just because the flames couldn’t hurt him, didn’t mean Myra would be immune.
If she did have magic, what kind would it be? He wondered.
’-you might not be wise but you sure are annoying- always have been.’ Ciaran almost rolled his eyes, but he took the jab. Hey, she wasn’t totally wrong. ”Just for you, dear sister,” he told her, still smirking. But the seriousness of the situation was swift to return, and he sat up properly again. Aoife was panicking, she was going to spill because she didn’t know how to lie. Why was lying so hard for some people? Honestly.
”Aoife, it’s not that big of a deal. Just say anything but the truth.” The man shrugged as if that was the easiest thing in the world to do. Well, for him maybe it was. ”Have you never kept a secret of your own?” Honestly, what child didn’t? Surely growing up his sister had kept things from them, even if they had been small, mundane secrets.
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Pyxis
27
Increasingly complicated
Ex-soldier
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Post by Aoife Lee Frye on Mar 12, 2021 15:08:25 GMT -5
Ciaran was probably right, three or four fires might not quite manage to make this seem insignificant. Besides, two shocks to their mother’s system was probably a lot worse than just the one… still, it had been an idea. And the only idea they had really had at that. ”Maybe…” She said, conceding. It had only been a thought, half-baked and mostly made in jest. So, Aoife joined her brother in the laughter and brushed it off; they would think of something, eventually.
Like her brother, the mystic was wondering just what gift might have been bestowed on the little girl- if any. It was partly why she had constructed that little fire, small enough that Aoife could probably extinguish it with a clump of dirt if it came to it. A tiny fire for a tiny child. The Lee Frye children had all inherited gramyre, all of it fire based, it stood to logic that if Myra might have continued the trend. Would she be immune, like her father? Or would she have a gift similar to one of the other siblings? Would there be no gift at all? Magic was a fickle thing, difficult to pin down or explain. Whichever it turned out to be, there was the risk that Myra was effectively a ticking time bomb- especially if her mother was alone and didn’t know how to handle a child coming into their gifts. Which was why Aoife was building a second pile of kindling, why she had given the girl the little lens, why she was literally playing with fire and gently encouraging a two year old to join in. Her task complete, the fire built and ready to light, grey eyes lifted back to the little girl- who was putting the lens in her mouth, sucking on it as though her aunt had given her a piece of candy. ”No, don’t eat the-” Her voice was level, though her eyes were wide with worry as she reached over to pry the little device out of harm’s way. She wasn’t exactly about to let the kid choke. ”- like this.” Keeping her hand over both the lens, and Myra’s tiny fingers, Aoife caught the sunlight again- directing it towards the mini-campfire before letting go.
For a moment, she thought Myra might manage it. But then, as Aoife held her breath, the toddler went back to looking at the loupe itself. ”Nevermind, when you’re older maybe.” She couldn’t quite hide her disappointment, Aoife had been hoping fire starting might have come a little more naturally to the girl. She didn’t take the lens back though, letting Myra play with it for a little while- if she lifted it to her eye, she would see the world seem so much bigger. It was mostly safe, so long as Myra didn’t try to eat the damn thing again.
”It’s not the saying thing that’s hard, I just can’t- I can’t keep a straight face.” Aoife protested lightly, they all had their skills, all had their talents: but they all had their downfalls too. And Aoife struggled to keep her features passive at the best of times, it had been a problem in the army, and it only got worse when she tried to lie. The only way she could kind of manage it was lying by omission, which was exactly how she intended to keep Ciaran’s secret. ”Well yeah, I guess so…” Aoife mused, one very obvious one springing to mind. She lowered her voice before continuing, ”... but other than the whole mystic thing, not for long.” Even ‘the whole mystic thing’ hadn’t managed to remain a full secret- she had told Alasdair afterall.
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Lunari
29
Uh...
Army Soldier
Tier 1 Character
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Post by Ciaran Lee Frye on Mar 13, 2021 1:48:50 GMT -5
Did he really expect his sister to do something stupid to try and get him out of his own mistake? No, even if it would make things a lot easier. But Ciaran knew what he had to do, he just wasn't sure how he was going to do it. If he would be able to do it. After all of this time, after the lies and sneaking around, he was tired. Of course he knew better, and although he still believed his reasons for everything, he knew Aoife was also right. She was smarter than he gave her credit for, honestly. And yet, she was always usually smarter than him.
Ciaran sat there, both curious and nervous. Myra had seemed interested in the little fire but she didn't seem to do anything else. Well, except slobber all over the lens. He bit down on his bottom lip, watching Aoife converse with the child, trying to show her how to start the fire and the patience she was exuding. Maybe she thought she was kind of terrible with kids, but he didn't see it. Sometimes treating them like tiny adults worked. At least, she had his daughter's undivided attention. Well, besides the tiny loupe, that is.
Noting the disappointment on Aoife's face, he chuckled again. "She's two. Give her some time." Give her time? As in, he hoped his sister would still be a part of Myra's life? As in, he was going to try and make it right so she wasn't having to sneak around with him? Hell, he probably didn't even know the answer to that right now. "The only reason we knew what I could do was because I fell right into the fireplace..." He had been nearly three when it had happened, and the flames barely tickled. Burned all his clothes right off, though. And truthfully, he wasn't about to do any crazy tests like that on his daughter.
Myra was mumbling things to herself now, examining the tiny lens in curiosity. She drifted a little to the side to lean against Aoife as she fiddled with her new toy, every so often looking back to the pile of stone and kindling the woman created as though she were contemplating it.
Oh, yes, indeed, every single Lee Frye had their downfalls. He probably didn't have to explain his, because it was blatantly obvious. One was that tiny human with a head of dark curls. '...but other than the whole mystic thing, not for long.' "Oh, that's...a great comfort," he said, sounding amused. Truthfully, it only made him worry more...but Ciaran figured if he made a bigger deal of it, it would just make it worse for her, therefore make this twenty times more complicated for him.
After a moment, his expression turned serious, even softening a little bit. "I'm kind of glad you know, though. I know you aren't, but...I feel a little less alone now." It was kind of a strange confession coming from him, but he meant it. He wouldn't have unwillingly dragged her into this, but he was grateful that he had someone to share this with. Besides Terra, that is. And Myra could know her aunt (even if, at the moment, she didn't know it).
He just had to figure out how to fix this whole mess.
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Pyxis
27
Increasingly complicated
Ex-soldier
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Post by Aoife Lee Frye on Mar 13, 2021 16:44:01 GMT -5
They had all discovered their gramyre in different ways, through different means, and at different ages. Whilst Ciaran had naturally revealed itself with the expected drama- nearly giving Catriona Lee Frye a heart attack in the process; Aoife had been gently coaxed into understanding hers. It had been during one of their mother’s stories, when the older woman was guiding smoke into the guise of figures- teaching her children some moral lesson or other (Aoife didn’t remember the exact fable her mother had been spinning at the time), but when their mother had asked for more smoke, more fire: Aoife had somehow managed to create it. Over the years she had learned to control it, to increase the speed at which she could fan the flames, and even attempted to experiment with the magic she could feel but not quite reach. She often wondered if Ciaran (or indeed any of her brothers) did the same. Toying with the magic they had in secret. Seeing how far they could push themselves… it came with a risk they all knew too well. But even then, Catriona had always insisted that their gifts should be a source of pride not shame: even if she would often express the importance of secrecy with the same breath. ”You were her age…” Aoife pointed out, her tone matter-of-fact as she continued to watch the little girl play with the lens. Even though she had known of Myra’s existence for less than an hour: the mystic was quickly becoming protective of her, perhaps even more so than she had been over Lee and Niall’s boys. If they knew whether Myra had a gift, they could take steps to keep her safe, take steps to keep her out of harm’s way, and take steps to guide the gramyre- keep it under control if they needed to. ”... I’m not going to push her into a fireplace.” Aoife said, feeling for some reason as though it needed to be said. Though she would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about maybe trying something similar… albeit on a much smaller scale, maybe just a fingertip. She hadn’t been expecting Myra to settle against her, so the sudden (if slight) pressure caused her to stiffen a little, mild shock crossing over her features before she realised what had happened. Upon this realisation, Aoife softened visibly- though she still seemed surprised. As the little girl leaned against her aunt, the woman felt something strange unfurling in her chest. An unfamiliar warmth that spread slowly with each heartbeat. Even though he had felt suddenly protective over the girl before: in that moment Aoife knew that she would raise hell to keep Myra safe. Shrugging, Aoife offered her brother a half smile. It was all she really could offer him. ”If it helps, I doubt I’ll be staying home long this time…” She hadn’t made any concrete plans as of yet. Though she, like the rest of them, had come home at the request of the matriarch- there was more for Aoife in Ethion than at home. There were the lessons with Rosemary for one. A certain blue-eyed guard for two. And the ever-increasing temptation to re-enlist for three. ”... So there won’t be too many chances to slip up, that’s something.” A pause. ”Right?””When did I say I wasn’t glad to know?” Challenging her big brother, Aoife tried to mitigate the serious air he had adopted with a smirk. But she couldn’t keep it up for long: ”I’m just not glad I can’t tell anyone is all… or that she’s living here, it’s so… so… small. She would want for nothing at home. And a lot more to protect her, should anything…” Trailing off, the mystic didn’t want to put a voice to her concerns, as though speaking them may make them more real. But home, at Lasairdubh, Myra would have a name and reputation to protect her- along with six uncles to start.
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Lunari
29
Uh...
Army Soldier
Tier 1 Character
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Post by Ciaran Lee Frye on Mar 13, 2021 19:22:13 GMT -5
If he were to be very candid, Ciaran wasn't sure if he wanted Myra to have gramarye. On one hand, it could protect her and Terra from danger in the future...but it would make her a target for any waiting Warden. That is what he feared the most, and he could only silently pray that any magic didn't manifest until he could figure out what to do, whether he would truly try and get them out of Teronna or not.
His sister's words about whether or not he could let Myra go echoed back through his head, and his whole demeanor began to fall. Ciaran never admitted it, but he loved his daughter. At first, he worried he wouldn't care, that it would cause him to become the kind of man who abandoned his unexpected family, but it had been quite the opposite. Now, he found his mind often trailing back to Myra randomly, wondering how she was doing, if she had learned any new words. He had missed her birth, he missed when she began to crawl, when she took her first steps- how much more was he willing to miss out on?
'...I'm not going to push her into a fireplace.' Maybe he shouldn't have laughed at that, but he couldn't help it. "Good to know. If she does have-" Ciaran didn't say it, simply waving his hand to indicate he meant "magic". "-it's not likely it's the same. We all came out different." There was still a chance, of course, but it seemed very unlikely with how it had currently been with their generation. He and his siblings each had their own unique gift, and if they dared, they could be pretty unstoppable together.
Wardens wouldn't stand a chance, and that was certainly a thought he's had on numerous occasions.
"That does help," Ciaran told her, actually feeling a bit of relief. If she could leave for Ethion today, that would've been really great, but he was aware that their mother would grumble if any of them were willing to leave so soon. In all honesty, he was happy to be home for a short while. He had missed his family, and it meant he could be closer to Myra for a little while longer.
Terra would faint if she knew that.
With her challenging words, he cringed a little. No, he hadn't exactly meant it that way, but he realized what he said probably came out wrong. "I just meant having to keep this lovely, little secret of mine." Very big secret, that is. The humor from his face immediately disappeared when Aoife's words trailed off. He knew what she had been ready to say, and he was glad she hadn't voiced it. He knew, and it had left him in nothing but a panic these last few days. It wasn't good enough, he also understood, and he could fix it, but he wasn't always one to come to certain conclusions very quickly. Talking with his sister had actually escalated things a bit. So, another point for her.
Drawing in a deep breath, he let it out slowly before talking once more, "That woman is going to murder me..." He couldn't make Aoife understand his reasons, how on earth was Catriona going to? He would probably just make everything ten times worse again.
Meanwhile, Myra seemed awfully comfortable just sitting there beside her aunt, continuing to look the little lens over as if it had the answers to everything. Eventually, those big eyes turned up to Aoife, her arm outstretched to show off the loupe. "Burns eet?" she mumbled in question. She was recalling that the woman made the leaves burn with the little object and wanted to see it again. Little hands held the lens up but kept frowning when nothing happened.
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Pyxis
27
Increasingly complicated
Ex-soldier
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Post by Aoife Lee Frye on Mar 14, 2021 14:57:43 GMT -5
Aoife had meant it when she said that she wasn’t about to push Myra into a fireplace to test if she shared Ciaran’s gramyre; but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t continue to gently test the girl in other ways. Letting her toy with the little loupe was just one of them. Still, she was glad that her brother had found her remark funny- after how serious their conversation had been, it was good to see Ciaran hadn’t completely lost his sense of humour. ”True, but no-one really knows how all this works- do they?” And with the way things were going- this war against their kind- it was likely that no-one ever would. At least not in Teronna. People were too scared to even allude to magic, Aoife very much doubted there were people studying gramyre, it’s origins, and it’s development in any great detail for fear of what would happen should their work be found. ”We might have not turned out the same, but we turned out pretty similar- chances are…” Again, the mystic trailed off- not needing to finish her sentence to make her point.
Like Ciaran, Aoife had wondered what she and her brothers could achieve if they worked together. Unlike Ciaran, Aoife hadn’t thought about directing their ire at the Warden order- afterall, Alasdair had served with them… they couldn’t all be as terrible as mother’s bedtime stories had made them out to be. They were human, and like all humans: they were capable of change. If only they could make the Wardens (and maybe even the King) see sense. They could put a stop to all of this.
That does help. Aoife also felt relief, for the same reasons her brother did. Granted, she wouldn’t be in nearly as much trouble as he would be- should she slip up. But the mystic would still suffer much of her mother’s wrath for even attempting to keep the secret. She wondered what Ciaran would do when Catriona inevitably discovered this big secret… how would he tell Terra? How would he explain what was going on to Myra? But she had asked her brother enough questions today, and so Aoife kept these ones to herself. There would be more time for questions, or at least she hoped so.
”No, you’re right there- I’m not looking forward to keeping this secret Ciaran. It kinda feels wrong to. Doesn’t Mama have a right to know…?” She might not have expected her brother to answer, but Aoife still wanted to ask the question. Ciaran must have justified this secret to himself somehow, but Aoife wasn’t sure how she could justify it other than the fact it wasn’t her secret to tell. ”She might not…” The mystic said with a grimace. ”She might have you murdered instead- you know Mama, doesn’t like to risk getting her gown dirty.”
It was easy to forget the little girl was there, she was so small, so light: Aoife barely felt Myra leaning against her once she had settled. It was only when her niece spoke did Aoife’s eyes wander back to her- grey eyes meeting those big brown ones. ”Burns it.” The woman confirmed, once again taking the little girl’s hand in her own. ”It takes the sun’s fire-” Angling the lens again, Aoife guided the light towards their little fire. ”-you’ve got to hold it still little one, very still.” Gently loosening her fingers so Myra was mostly holding the little device, the mystic watched with bated breath to see if Myra could hold the lens steady (or if she would get frustrated and light the fire herself somehow).
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Lunari
29
Uh...
Army Soldier
Tier 1 Character
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Post by Ciaran Lee Frye on Mar 15, 2021 10:33:31 GMT -5
He had to laugh. Ciaran knew things were going to grow far more serious, and didn't want to dwell on it too much if he could help it. Not yet. Still, his sister's curiosity about Myra's possible magic was tugging at his own wondering...but neither did he want to stoke that fire and have it blow up in Terra's face. He would still have to tell her that little tidbit of information.
'-chances are...' "Oh, I'm sure she's going to burn something down," he murmured in half amusement while he watched the child. Fire was in her veins whether she had magic or not. And she was his, after all, although it was perhaps funny that Ciaran didn't exactly have a destructive power like some of his siblings did. He was just the one that was able to run into their fray and usually come out unscathed.
Of course, that didn't mean from any sharp, flying projectiles. Ciaran suddenly had a very frightening image of their mother with a kitchen knife. He supposed now was the time he would think of all the wild scenarios of how she would "kill him".
Ciaran ran fingers through his hair again in slight frustration, and hung his head with a sigh. "No...she does have a right to know..." He just didn't want to have to tell her. Things certainly would have been easier if he had been honest upfront, but the panic and fear had been too overwhelming. And now, suddenly, two years had passed in a blink of an eye. 'She might have you murdered instead- you know Mama, doesn't like to risk getting her gown dirty.' And for the second time today, he was laughing at something he probably shouldn't have. Still, Aoife was right, as morbid of a thought as that was.
His dark eyes watched Myra carefully as his sister tried to instruct her again. The girl understood that the little object had caused a fire, and despite Aoife explaining it, she wouldn't fully comprehend it yet, but she was watching. There was this new curiosity in her gaze, a deeper concentration for a task that she hadn't ever shown before. At least not to him. Ciaran sat up a little straighter, not realizing that he was holding his breath while Myra briefly struggled to hold the lens still, yet after a few seconds managed to do so.
Smoke began to rise from the tiny pile of kindling and Ciaran couldn't suppress his smile, especially when the little flames sparked to life and Myra's squealing fit of laughter filled the air.
As he had said: she was definitely going to burn things down.
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Pyxis
27
Increasingly complicated
Ex-soldier
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Post by Aoife Lee Frye on Mar 15, 2021 14:33:25 GMT -5
”Wouldn’t be a Lee Frye if she didn’t.” Aoife shrugged, her tone nonchalant. It was true enough, whether their gifts had been offensive or defensive: Lee Fryes just seemed to have an affinity for the flames. Whether they could toy with them as Aoife could, stoking a flicker into an inferno, or not: they all seemed drawn to fire, not quite having the worries and fears others had when leaving a candle unattended or walking away from their hearths. It was difficult to fear something that you had grown up with. Ciaran had less reason to fear the flames than the others, even when his brothers and sister had been ‘play’ fighting growing up- Ciaran had been lucky to walk away without so much as the teeny tiniest scorch mark most of the time. It was why Aoife hadn’t tried to burn him just a little with the loupe- like a child with a magnifying glass may torture an ant- there was just no point, she would have to sit there for hours before her brother would even notice. Sometimes gramyre wasn’t all that fun. If Aoife could see into her brother’s mind, she would have been unable to keep from laughing at the thought of Catriona Lee Frye wielding a kitchen knife and chasing after her middle son. The mystic was almost certain that she had never ever seen her mother in a kitchen. In fact, she highly doubted that Catriona would even know where to find a kitchen knife should that particular avenue of bloody murder strike her fancy. No...she does have a right to know… At least Aoife had managed to get through to him somehow, the question now would be how to tell the Lee Frye matriarch. And though Aoife might not have understood the fear Ciaran had felt exactly, she could hardly begrudge her big brother for keeping this from them all- it just would have been so much easier for her if he hadn’t. ”Do you want me to tell her?” Aoife offered lightly; already regretting it and already hoping he would say no. She wouldn’t even know how to begin, didn’t know enough about the situation to answer any questions their mother might have- and she would have many of them. ”Or you could tell Dad? He won’t know what to do either?” If the mystic didn’t know how their mother would react, she certainly didn’t have the slightest clue as to how their father would process this information… probably by taking it straight to Cat… either way, it would keep Aoife, Ciaran, and most importantly Myra well out of the blast zone when the bomb was finally dropped. That could work… or it could be the worst idea they’d had yet. ”That’s it!” Aoife couldn’t contain her excitement as the little fire burst into life. ”You did it!” Granted, the little girl had used a device rather than the magic Aoife had hoped frustration might bring forward- but still, Myra had managed it. The little fire burned away quickly once again, barely lasting a moment or two before smouldering away to nothing- Myra wouldn’t have had the chance to burn herself even if she wanted to. Unfortunately, the mystic had exhausted the supply of flammable material within arms reach- the remaining sticks and other detritus seemed too damp and soggy to have any hopes of catching alight- even with the loupe. ”Sorry little one.” Aoife sighed, banking a little dirt onto the site of their miniature campfire- making sure it was well and truly snuffed. ”No more burning today, next time though- we’ll make it bigger okay? When you’re bigger too.” Would there be a next time? Aoife didn’t know if Ciaran had plans to let her back here, or even if Terra would allow it should she find out… but if Ciaran was going to tell Catriona as he had hinted, then Aoife doubted this would be the last time she saw the little toddler. Even if Ciaran kept this secret, Aoife didn’t like the idea of walking out of Myra’s life and never coming back: it just didn’t sit right.
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