a favor to ask

[Eleesa Demarais]

Once the Yule festivities were over, Eleesa had to look towards the future. And not just for herself and her sons, but for Anemone as well. Even in his grave, Edward was still causing problems, and she'd be damned if she allowed his ignorance and disrespect to ruin the girl's life. She was too young to be cast aside like that, and even though her carrying the late king's bastard child was just another stab in the queen's back, Eleesa was not about to give up on Ane.

However, she also did not wish to ruin anyone else's life, which was why this was so nerve-wracking.

Eleesa had spoken to Triston about this beforehand to get his opinion, to wonder if she was being too forward or desperate. She assured him she had her reasonings for choosing his own brother. After speaking with Ane the night of the chase, after just seeing how she and Lucian were together...it made sense. It was, perhaps, worth the risk.

Still, as she and the duke awaited his brother in her study, the queen couldn't sit still. She was pacing back and forth by the window, every now and then glancing at the open doorway in case she by chance didn't hear the younger deGrey appear. No matter how many time she told herself she had least had to try, Eleesa was becoming frantic. This was a very big thing to ask of him.

[ Lucian deGrey ; Triston deGrey ]

[Triston deGrey]

Triston wished he could have been more surprised when Eleesa told him about Edward and what he had done to one of her ladies. He had heard several rumors about the king and didn’t want to believe them because it would only further spark the anger and resentment he held onto. Eleesa deserved better than him. What did surprise him a little bit, was that he had stooped as low as forcing a woman into his bed. Had he really gone that far into the deep end?

He could only imagine how Eleesa was feeling--one of her ladies was pregnant with her late husband’s child. Not only would it be a constant reminder of his wrongdoings and her mistreatment, but if anyone found out, it might bring scandal not only to the young girl but to Eleesa as well.

And then there it was-- Eleesa had thought of a solution. One that might also drag the deGreys into the same scandal should anyone find out. Was it too forward or desperate? Of course it was. But perhaps necessary.

He hadn’t met Anemone yet but he recalled how Lucian had mentioned kissing her at the chase. He had seemed happier since meeting her and when Eleesa explained her reasoning and why she was choosing him for Anemone, he reluctantly agreed with her. An arranged marriage was the last thing he’d expect Eleesa to want and the very thought of having to force his youngest brother into something he’d not want pained him. But if Lucian felt something for the lady, then perhaps it would work out.

Lucian was a good man who seemed to go along with whatever everyone wanted him to. Perhaps it was his easy-going nature, or maybe he just felt he needed to please everyone. He had no doubt that after hearing the queen’s reasonings, he would accept, if only because that was the kind of man he was. But there was something in the pit of his stomach that made even Triston nervous, or maybe guilty that his younger brother was now being dragged into Edward’s cruelty. Even after the king’s death, he was still causing issues in Tresteria.

Triston sat quietly in one of the chairs. His elbow rested on the arm of it and he leaned his head into the palm of his hand, staring at the door as they awaited Lucian. He wondered what his youngest brother would be thinking this meeting would be about. Surely the news would shock him and Triston was mainly here to help Eleesa basically talk some sense and reasoning into Lucian should he need a little more convincing. He was the support, and he would continue to be for as long as he was needed.

He could hear Eleesa pacing behind him in the silence that lingered in the room as they waited. Triston lifted his head from his hand and twisted in the seat so he could look at her. “You’re going to wear a spot in the rug if you keep that up.” He smiled gently and shook his head. “It will be fine,” he tried to assure her, despite his own nervousness.

Then the door opened and the guard announced his youngest brother’s name just before he stepped in and bowed to Eleesa. He watched as his features changed to a confused one at the sight of him sitting there.

Yes, dear brother… You are in for a surprise.

[Lucian deGrey]

Lucian received the queen’s request to meet, and he wasn’t entirely sure why. A couple of things came to mind.

She was speaking to all of the Demarais family line in search of support and aid in becoming regent for her son.

She had found out about his sudden interest in Anemone and wished to find out what his intentions were and if he wished to pursue her in courtship.

She needed a connection with the Tresterian army and he was the closest and most trustworthy person she knew that was involved in the military.

Or she was looking for information on Triston. He thought this was the least likely of reasons, though, because why would she ask one of his brothers to potentially speak poorly of him?

Perhaps there could have been various other reasons, but those were the only ones that were coming to mind. He was curious, to say the least. Regardless of whatever the reason was, he’d answer the queen’s request and do whatever he could to help her.

He straightened his clothing to rid of any wrinkling and stood up straighter just as he approached the door. He was announced and promptly entered the room, eyes falling upon the queen who looked to have been pacing. He bowed respectfully. And then, there was Triston.

He looked at the two with a confused, yet concerned expression. Something didn’t seem right. Brown eyes searched his older brother for a moment and he tried to think back on his guesses for this meeting and why Triston would be here. Perhaps they both needed his assistance in the regency business? No--it seemed more grave than that.

Lucian forced a small smile and returned his gaze to Eleesa and cleared his throat, almost nervously. “You wished to see me, your majesty?”

[Eleesa Demarais]

This wasn't right. This felt wrong. Although she had her reasons, wrangling in someone she knew and loved made it that much harder. Lucian had essentially been a part of her family, and she felt like she was leading him into a trap. So now, the queen paced in that much more worry that she would hurt him. Despite how Anemone felt about him, despite what Triston had told her of what he believed his brother might feel for the girl...this was still wrong, wasn't it?

But if the two felt something for each other...?

'You're going to wear a spot in the rug if you keep that up.' That made Eleesa pause immediately, looking over to him as she nervously had a thumbnail in between her teeth. Her eyes squinted lightly as though she were attempting to smile, but her nerves were too frayed and she already felt her heart beating rapidly. If this idea was completely insane, Triston would have told her, right? She had to believe that. And she wasn't going to force Lucian into this- she was not that kind of ruler. She would offer him the truth and the chance to say no, that was all.

"I'm just...no one else should be pulled into this mess, but Anemone cares for-" That was when the door opened, and Lucian stepped inside, instantly looking confused. Eleesa had to force a gentle smile as she drew in a breath, already frantically wondering how to even begin this.

"Yes, Lucian. Thank you for coming," she managed to say, deciding to be informal as she gestured towards one of the empty chairs. The queen herself would take a seat, fingers twisting into the skirts at her lap but she kept her gaze steady. "It has come to my attention that...you have been spending some time with one of my ladies." Why couldn't she seem to form the correct words? This was proving to be far more difficult than she thought it would be. She sat up a little straighter, not wanting him to think that was at all a bad thing or that she was bothered by this fact. If anything, she was elated.

Another slow breath, her smile softened a bit more. "Have you...any intentions?" There was no judgement, there was no pushing him towards one answer or another. It was simple a question for now. If anything, she was just curious.

[Lucian deGrey]

Lucian nodded to Eleesa in response to her thanking him for coming. As she gestured to the seat, he looked back at Triston who seemingly looked more serious than usual, despite the straight-lined smile he gave him. Did someone die?

He reluctantly and then slowly sank down into the chair and then looked back at Eleesa as she sat down. His lips parted slightly as if to say something- to ask what was going on-- but before he could say something, Eleesa was already speaking herself.

"It has come to my attention that...you have been spending some time with one of my ladies." Alright, so it was about Anemone. He nodded cautiously, eyebrows furrowing as he glanced back and forth between Eleesa and Triston. Had he done something wrong? Was he not supposed to become involved with her? He was a duke--surely it wasn’t a status issue, right? Or had he been too forward with Anemone by kissing her? By saying nice things to her?

Triston could see the worried look on Lucian’s features and knew his mind was already beginning to run wild with worry that he had done something wrong. He tried to give him a reassuring smile and shook his head as if to silently tell Lucian to quiet his thoughts and to just listen.

"Have you...any intentions?" Okay, that wasn’t helping his mind to stop racing with his worrying thoughts. But Eleesa had a genuine smile rather than an angered or disappointed expression. Okay, stay calm. It’s fine. She is just concerned for her lady. But why? Did she think he was the wrong kind of man for her? Did she think he could cause harm to her? She should know him better by now and know that he was a kind-hearted man who had no ill intentions towards anyone, right? He came across that way, right? He was starting to second guess himself.

A confused expression spread through his features and he sat up straighter, moving nervously in his seat for a moment. “I...uh…” His voice cracked slightly. How could he even answer the question? Surely their relationship hadn’t gotten that serious yet that he had any serious intentions. Should he?

Triston breathed a quiet, nervous laugh out his nose and shook his head. “It’s alright, Lucian… You’re not in trouble…” He tried to assure him, urging him to answer Eleesa’s question.

Lucian nodded and forced a nervous smile. “We just only met before Yule, majesty… I very much enjoy lady Sellar’s company and talking with her. She is a sweet and kind woman that I hope I will get the opportunity to get to know her more and perhaps court her… If that is alright with you?” His brows furrowed in question. “Please forgive me if I have done something wrong-- it was hardly my intention.” 

[Eleesa Demarais]

She was making him nervous. It was quite clear that she was, and she wished she knew how to lighten the mood or make this any easier. But it wasn't going to be easy, and she feared she might not only offend Lucian, she might offend and upset Anemone by doing this behind her back. However, the queen felt that if the young duke could not accept this, Ane would never have to know that he declined. She was trying to protect the girl as much as she possibly could, hating to have to put Lucian in this situation at the same time.

An initial thought was that he didn't deserve this. And, no, he didn't. He shouldn't have to marry a young woman and claim a child that wasn't his as his own. Lucian would have every right to say no, perhaps even get angry that she'd suggest it. Still, the way the two had been after the funeral together, the stories Anemone had told her...they were a good match despite these horrible odds. Ane would be good to him, and he to her. She was sure of it.

Eleesa was already beginning to falter, though. She tried to keep that pleasant smile on her face but it was starting to wane. Fortunately, Triston was speaking up to try and reassure his younger brother, and it also helped her keep herself together.

When Lucian spoke of her lady, her smile spread across her face a bit more. "No, there is nothing to forgive," she added calmly. "I promise you. There is just...something that needs to be said." The problem was, though, was that she felt like she couldn't say it. Eleesa began to feel her throat close up. Her hands may have visibly shook were she not already curling her fingers into her skirt. "I would love nothing more than to see this relationship progress, Lucian. Yet, something unfortunate has happened that you should know. A secret that must not leave this room..." The queen drew in a slow and deep breath, keeping her gaze steady upon the man despite how she was feeling inside.

"Please be aware that Anemone does not know you are here, nor does she know of why I speak to you. So, whatever you decide, she will be oblivious to it." This was probably just confusing him even more, so she really should just spill it out. "A short while before Edward died..." She was faltering again, and she felt the threat of tears at the corners of her eyes. Somehow, even still from his grave, that bastard tried to make her cry. "He...forced Ane to his bed. I did not know, she was too afraid to tell me until..." That was when her gaze finally dropped into her lap, as though she were ashamed. "...until she realized she was with child."

There it was. Finally. Somehow, it did not feel any better to say it out loud, and she feared he would take it as a blow. "All she has wanted to do since meeting you was tell you this truth...but she could not. And I'm sure you can imagine why."

[Lucian deGrey]

"There is just...something that needs to be said." Lucian’s eyebrows lowered together in a deep frown, his features displaying a confused expression. What on earth would need to be said? Had he done something wrong? Was something wrong with Anemone? “...Alright?” He spoke quietly, hesitant and unsure if he really wanted to know what this was all about.

Eleesa was visibly nervous about whatever it was that she needed to say, and now he realized Triston was probably here to either help her with handling whatever his reaction would be to said news, or he was here to support him in how he’d handle it. Maybe Triston was here for both. His eyes flickered between both of them, the questioning and confused expression remaining on his features.

Lucian shifted in his seat uncomfortably until Eleesa spoke again, informing him that something unfortunate has happened. His confused expression quickly changed to one of concern and he moved to the edge of his seat. “Wha--” But the queen was speaking again, informing him that what she was about to tell him was a secret and couldn’t leave this room. Lucian nodded hesitantly. He was an honest and loyal man, and without doubt, would keep the secret--it was just that, it wasn’t exactly fair to make him promise something he did not yet know what he was making a promise to.

He sighed, almost inaudibly. He wanted to tell Eleesa to just come out with it. She was making him more and more nervous the longer she was dragging this out. But he figured it probably wasn’t easy for her to have to tell him whatever it was that she was about to, if she was struggling so. Lucian finally nodded, his voice coming out in a low and steady rumble from his chest. “...Alright.”

The last thing Lucian expected to hear was what Eleesa was telling him now. Everyone knew of the spiralling madness of Edward. It should not have come as a surprise to him, and he wasn’t certain if it was because he didn’t want to believe the man was forcing women into his bed, or if it was because one of them was Anemone. He clenched his jaw, both hands balled into fists as they rested on his knees. Not only was he angered by the fact that Anemone, such a kind-hearted and sweet woman, had to endure such a thing, but also because Eleesa had to live through all of that.

Suddenly, everything Anemone had hinted at and danced around since meeting him was beginning to make sense. She had made a comment about feeling like an object, a prize to be won. About being hurt and scared and that it was no longer around. Edward. Lucian breathed a slow and long breath out his nose, trying to keep his anger at bay.

"...until she realized she was with child."

His mouth gaped open in disbelief, he tried to say something, but his voice only cracked and he sat there dumbfounded. Had he really just heard Eleesa correctly? Did she say something else, because he saw her lips moving, but he could barely hear her words.

Brown eyes averted down to the floor as he tried to process this information. More importantly, how was he supposed to act around Anemone now? Was she truly sincere in her pursuit of him, or was she simply hoping to get him involved with this?

After a moment, he finally looked up and back at Eleesa, a deep frown upon his lips. He rested his elbows on his knees, folded his hands together, and rested his mouth behind them. “You said whatever I decide?” His brows furrowed slightly as he looked at her questioningly. “To continue to pursue her? To avoid her?” He shook his head slightly and lifted his head a bit from his folded hands. “How would she be oblivious to it if I suddenly decide to start avoiding her? I’m not that heartless…”

[Triston deGrey]

None of this was easy. Triston watched as Eleesa struggled to tell Lucian what it was that she needed to tell him. He watched as his youngest brother continued to look uncomfortable and confused by everything. And all he could do was sit and watch--to be the middle man and moral support for both Eleesa and his brother.

He wanted to reach out and hold Eleesa’s hand, to steady her and somehow give her the strength she needed to get through all of this. But all he could do was sit there quietly and calmly as the conversation took place before him.

Triston watched his brother with concern as he reacted to the news. A deep frown setting upon his lips as Lucian stated he wasn’t heartless enough to avoid Anemone. That was a good thing--but Eleesa hadn’t even asked him what she wanted to just yet.

He shook his head, “No one thinks you are or would be that heartless, Lucian…” He sighed and looked over at Eleesa for a moment as if asking her if she wanted him to ask the question for her. She had struggled enough with the first part of giving Lucian the news, he didn’t imagine asking him if he’d marry Anemone would be any easier. But he didn’t want to step on her toes and speak for her. “Actually, we think the opposite… You are a kind, honest and caring man. Anemone has expressed to her majesty that she cares for you and that you make her happy… And I’ve noticed you seem happier since meeting her. It’s why we are here telling you all of this… Not to deter you from seeing her, but hoping you will continue to... ”

He looked back at Eleesa as if urging her to go on if she so wanted to, or if she wished for him to continue for her.

[Eleesa Demarais]

Just say it. Stop delaying, she kept telling herself. She could easily see that, by not saying or explaining much, she was making Lucian more and more nervous with each passing second. Even Triston was looking at her, silently wondering if she needed him to do it.

No. This was something she had to do herself. Anemone was one of her dearest friends, and Edward (even in death) was unfortunately her responsibility. This wasn't the first time she's had to handle such delicate matters as a result of his ignorance. Only, this time, it happened to be one of her own ladies.

'I'm not heartless...' Eleesa's lips parted to explain that it wasn't what she meant, but his brother was already speaking up. Oh dear, how had she messed this up so much already? This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Then again, it wasn't an easy thing for her to deal with it. Her own husband raped one of her girls, a crime that should be punished but the Council wouldn't have batted an eye. And now, she was here to ask Edward's cousin to help fix Anemone's problem. It wasn't right, but neither was she doing this simply to do so.

She wasn't a fool. She wasn't blind. Ane really did like this deGrey, and Eleesa felt Lucian cared about her as well, even if it was still too soon to truly tell.

"You are my family, Lucian," she decided to begin after Triston's loving words. She had even smiled lightly with the mention of how more upbeat Lucian had appeared to be. A gentle nod to the elder deGrey, her bright eyes alighted upon the younger one's face once more. "I love and respect you, I hope you know this...and it is why I am asking this of you. Not only because Anemone cares and trusts you, but because she deserves someone as good as you."

There was only a few seconds pause so that he wouldn't have to sit there and wonder even more about what was going on. Eleesa reached over to take one of his hands within both of hers, swallowing back her tears and fright. "If you do care for her. If you feel like it could blossom into something more...then my question to you is- would you marry her?" By the tone of her voice, the urgency was clear- she meant very soon. "And I know it is wrong of me to ask this of you, to ask that you help me pick up the pieces of this mess your cousin left..." The timidness in her voice finally began to disappear to be replaced with a hardness not for Lucian, but quite obviously for Edward. Even as a single tear managed to escape down her cheek. "But I will not let that son-of-a-bitch ruin her. I will not stand by and allow it to happen, nor do I want you to agree to something you cannot do or not want."

Eleesa squeezed his hand then, if he hadn't withdrawn it in shock, and looked at him closely. She wasn't going to beg, but she was going to be as honest as she possibly could be. "Understand that I will not think any less of you if you decline. I'm asking you to protect her where I had failed to. I'm asking you to claim the child as your own should you do this...and, by God, Lucian, I know this is a lot. And I'm so sorry." That was when the queen drew back, feeling the sob welling up within her chest. She had to rise up from her seat then to turn away; the back of her hand going to her mouth to suppress how much she just wanted to scream and cry.

She will never forgive Edward for making her do this. Never. Eleesa hoped he was rotting in Hell.

[Lucian deGrey]

Lucian still wasn’t entirely sure why Eleesa and Triston were telling him all of this. Was it to warn him of what he would potentially be getting into if he continued to see her? Anemone hadn’t told him herself and with her having no idea that he was here being told all of this, he wondered what she would think of it. Would she have continued to string him along and eventually spring the news on him, hoping he would stay? Was this all a test of his virtue as a person?

His gaze remained down at the floor as Triston spoke to him. The opinions of his older brothers always meant a lot to him, but despite the assurance he was being given, Lucian began to question everything about himself and how others perceived him. Was he a kind, honest and caring man, when at the moment, he was feeling somewhat disappointed and uncertain of what he would do after leaving this room? He briefly thought of disappearing and staying on Militare island and never returning or showing his face anywhere at court again. Perhaps he really was a heartless man after all.

The sound of Eleesa’s voice broke his thoughts and he returned his gaze to hers. The expression on his face showed signs of both confusion, hesitation, and self-doubt.

“...because she deserves someone as good as you." Lucian’s brows lowered slightly as if he were about to question Eleesa, but she was taking one of his hands into hers and for whatever reason, that only made him feel a bit more nervous. He felt there was more to this than what he had already been told.

“If you do care for her…” Despite hardly knowing her, he did feel like he already cared for her. She was a kind and sweet woman, it would be difficult not to. Something told him she had a lot of people who cared for her, including the queen.

“If you do feel like it could blossom into something more…” He hadn’t really thought about that yet, but rather, he had just hoped to see where and how things would go between them…If it developed into something more than what it was, he would have been happy and wouldn’t fight it.

And then came the question he wasn’t expecting. “...would you marry her?" He was taken aback by the question, causing him to sit up straighter, a look of bewilderment crossing his face. For the second time during this conversation, he found himself wondering if he had heard her correctly. His mind began to race as a feeling of panic began to rise within his chest. She wasn’t serious, was she? A woman having been arranged and forced into a marriage herself--and she was trying to arrange his marriage with one of her ladies now? --Who was pregnant with his cousin’s-- her husband’s child. He stared at Eleesa but remained quiet as she continued to speak, her words only registering in his mind in fragments. He needed to pick up the pieces. She wouldn’t allow Anemone to be ruined. But she didn’t want him to agree if he didn’t want to. Lucian found himself wondering what she would do, then, if he declined? Did she already have another man lined up to ask?

He sat frozen in his seat, unsure of what to say or do. It wasn’t until Eleesa was asking him to protect Anemone. To claim the child as his own, that Lucian blinked out of the daze he had fallen into and he looked at her with an intense expression of shock. His brown eyes widened a bit. She was right--this was a lot.

His gaze had fallen the moment Eleesa moved away and turned her back. He stared at the floor, silently trying to process it all. Despite Triston knowing, the rest of his family wouldn’t, he assumed. Would any of them urge him not to marry someone so soon after meeting them? If they found out she had gotten pregnant before their marriage, he would be to blame and would be considered dishonorable. It would be even more dishonorable of him to let the woman suffer on her own, he thought. Because he was an honorable, kind, and caring man--he would become responsible to hold onto the burden of this very big secret.

After a long moment of silence, Lucian let out a long sigh as he leaned forward again, resting his elbows on his knees and bringing a hand to his mouth where he nervously bit down on his thumbnail. “I’m assuming this would have to be soon, then?” He asked quietly.

Triston nodded, breathing a sigh from his nose. He certainly felt for his brother and hated seeing him in this state of shock and discomfort. “...Yeah. It would need to be…” He hesitated for a moment, hating that his youngest brother was being asked to do this, even though he knew in his heart, Lucian would be a good man to Anemone...One that any woman would deserve. “...before she starts to show.” He frowned slightly.

Lucian slowly nodded in understanding, his expression turned somber. Would Anemone even want to marry him if he agreed? Would she think he just pitied her? Would she be alright with knowing that he was asked to do this?

Seeing his brother’s hesitation and imagining what must have been going on through his mind as they sat in the silence, Triston cleared his throat and spoke up again. “...We don’t need an answer right now, Luc... Take some time to think about it if you need to.”

He nodded again and slowly stood up, “May I please be excused?”

[Eleesa Demarais]

She spoke too much. She had said far too much in so short a time. She had stunned him into silence and Eleesa stood there unsure of what to do or what to say next. In that very moment, she wanted to take it all back and apologize profusely to him. The last thing she wanted was for him to believe she had asked him to do this because he was expendable. Did she explain properly that this wasn't the case? That she asked this of him because of how Ane felt, how both the queen and Triston felt Lucian felt towards the girl?

The panic was setting in further and she could no longer remember all that she had said. She offended him- how else did she expect the soldier to take it? Eleesa understood if he resented her now, as much as that would hurt.

Fortunately, again, Triston was handling the conversation when she could not seem to find her voice, and Eleesa's hands were shaking once more as they curled into the front of her skirts. There were tears stinging her eyes that she tried to keep from falling, drawing in deep breaths. She had done this for Anenome. She had done this because she couldn't protect her own lady from that bastard. She had done this because she believed the two could be happy...but should she really be the judge of that? Did she have a choice except to set Ane up with some stranger who wouldn't second guess any of this?

’We don’t need an answer right now, Luc... Take some time to think about it if you need to.’ Triston was saying. Eleesa was staring out the window at the castle grounds bathed in sunlight. It was so lovely and peaceful out there, despite the chill still in the air. She could not find any comfort in it, not now, especially when Lucian finally spoke up.

The queen stopped breathing and she felt her throat close up. Afraid that she would crack, she couldn’t bring herself to fully face the man, but she turned as much as she could so as to see him in her peripheral, offering a gentle, but forced smile. ”Of course, Lucian. Thank you...for agreeing to meet.” Her voice sounded small and defeated. Suddenly, when the door closed behind him, there was a span of a few seconds before she completely broke down.

Eleesa was scared, she was upset and furious all at the same time. All at Edward. Even in death, the man was making her do heinous things, he was making her the bad guy now and it made her feel ill. The queen whirled around in a flurry of skirts, rushing forward to angrily swipe objects off her desk. The inkwell shattered on the floor, spilling inky black all over the stone.

”That was a mistake. I shouldn’t have...I shouldn’t have done that,” she stammered out, unsure of whether she wanted to vent further in anger or just cry about it. ”Your brother must think ill of me now...because I’ve become like his cousin in an attempt to fix Edward's damn mess. I just-” She hunched forward to grip the edge of the desk. ”I’m just trying to protect her, Triston, yet I fear I may have ruined both of their lives now.”

[Triston deGrey]

Triston sat still in his seat, watching Lucian as he struggled to process everything that was being told and asked of him. Part of him wished that he could take his place for him, so he would not be caught up in all of this. Edward had done so much to ruin a lot of things during his time as a king, and even in his death- he still was. But he finally had a chance to possibly pursuit some sort of relationship with Eleesa, if everything worked out for them. And Lucian had feelings for Anemone, of which he was certain his brother would resent him, just as Triston had resented Edward. Was all of that so selfish of him to think and feel?

He wanted the best for all of his brothers. It had been why he tried convincing William against marrying Margery. It was why he was here as support for Lucian, now. His family was the most important thing to him, and he would fight for every one of them if it even meant he’d lose his life for them.

His brown eyes remained on his brother, watching as he stood and asked to be excused. He frowned deeply and looked down at his hands. Even though he had told Lucian to think about it before answering them--he partially wished his brother would be so sure about wanting to help Anemone, that he would answer right now. He knew it would make Eleesa feel better. Instead, he left her dangling over a cliff, not knowing what would happen next for her lady.

Eleesa answered, excusing Lucian, and he released an inaudible sigh, only glancing up after the door clicked shut. He turned his gaze over to Eleesa and saw the expression she wore on her face just those moments before she began to break down. Triston stood up from his seat to go to her, but before he moved any further, she was already whirling around and storming to her desk. The items scattering about, hitting the floor in a clambering sound, the glass of the inkwell shattering causing the black ink to spill out and bleed over the cold surface.

Triston frowned, standing where he was, not quite afraid to approach her, but rather he wanted to give her the space to release the anger, guilt, and fear she must have been feeling. He watched her with a concerned and expression filled with sympathy. He could say that he knew how she was feeling--but he knew that would only be a small piece of the surface of everything swirling around in her mind right now.

Eleesa was speaking her regret and her worries, and all he could manage to do was shake his head in response. Still, he wanted to give her space, allowing her to be violent or scream, or whatever it was she needed to do at that moment. Carefully, he moved towards her, but instead of approaching her, he crouched down and began to pick up the remains of the inkwell and the shards, the black ink quickly staining his hands. “Lucian doesn’t think ill of anyone...And he certainly would never think ill of you.” He gently spoke as he placed the broken inkwell into the small wastebasket by the desk. He looked up at her as she hunched over her desk, and he frowned, letting his gaze fall to the floor at the splattered ink. After taking the handkerchief from his pocket, he slowly began to try and blot up the ink as best he could.

After a moment, he stood back up, picking a few of the strewn items off the floor, and set them on the edge of her desk. He found a cloth nearby and used it to wipe at his hands before he finally approached her, taking one of her arms and turning her to face him. With his other hand, he placed it gently on her cheek and urged her to look at him. When he spoke, his voice was quiet, gentle, and assuring. “You have ruined no one’s life, Eleesa. And you are not like him…” He looked into her eyes, his own filled with compassion. “What do you think Edward would have done to her if he were still here and found out?” He was certain that both of them knew the answer to that question. And what Eleesa was doing was more compassionate than any woman would be knowing what her husband had done. “Lucian will be fine… It is just a lot to process. How did you feel when you were being told you had to marry Edward?” He released a sigh out of his nose and pulled her closer. “Come here.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest, kissing the top of her head. “It’s going to be alright. If he hasn’t given us an answer in a few days, I will go talk to him again.”

He remained still, holding her against him as one of his hands rubbed her back gently. He didn’t move, not for a while. He’d let her cry into him if she so needed to, and he’d support her if she needed to just break down and fall into him. He held her up and tried to be the strength that she needed-- To be calm and quiet to try and ease her worries.

After a moment longer, he slowly pulled her away just enough to look at her, and he offered a small smile filled with assurance. His voice escaped him in a whispered breath, “tell me what else I can do for you.” He looked at her with nothing but compassion, then. And he meant it--he wanted to help her with anything and everything, regardless of what it was. The woman had always had him wrapped around her finger--even after ten years had passed, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her.

Triston looked into her eyes, one of his hands- stained from the ink that had now dried up against his skin, moved up to brush her hair gently out of her face and he wiped whatever tears rolled down her cheeks. “Everything’s going to be alright. I promise you,” he whispered gently to her. And he would do everything in his power to ensure everything would be alright.

[Eleesa Demarais]

Everything felt like it was spiraling out of control again, and she didn't know which way was up. Eleesa thought she knew what she was doing, understood the consequences, but now that she was faced with a big question mark (just as Lucian was faced with one of the biggest decisions of his life), she felt as though she was being crushed underneath the weight. Her back was breaking.

The queen was forcing herself not to cry anymore, but once the tears began to fall, there was no stopping them. It didn't matter how much rage she held inside, it wasn't enough to quell the sorrow and worry for this entire situation. Her need to help Anemone, who rightfully deserved so much, may have ruined her and the youngest deGrey in the process. She didn't want either of them to think wrongly of her- she hadn't meddled just to meddle. She had done it to help.

Yet, why did she just feel so selfish right now?

"Just...leave it, please," she stammered out in a whisper when she noticed Triston trying to clean up the mess she had created. 'Lucian doesn't think ill of anyone...and he certainly would never think ill of you.' Oh, she wanted to believe that so much, but it was very difficult to at the moment. Even when the duke finally approached her, urging her to turn and look at him, Eleesa had fought it; only for a second before she relented, leaning into his touch at her cheek. 'What do you think Edward would have done to her if he were still here and found out?' That made her blood run cold because she didn't want to think about it. He might have sent Ane away where she'd never see her again...or possibly do worse. With the way he had been in his later months, there no saying what cruelty the late king would have bestowed.

Then he was asking how she felt when she was told she was to marry Edward, and it was like this sharp pain in her heart. She was just being reminded of the man she hadn't been allowed to marry, the one standing right before her now. "I didn't want to," she told him in a shaky voice. "And I resented my father for it." Hence the reason why she feared Lucian would resent her now, only agreeing to do this (if he did) because he didn't want to disappoint her or his brother. Eleesa didn't want him to agree unless he truly and honestly felt something for Anemone, if he thought he could be happy with her...because the queen already knew he would make her lady extremely happy. Well, he already had.

Although the door of the study was closed, she wasn't terribly worried about anyone walking in. If the guards hadn't been alerted by the noise of broken objects hitting the floor, they wouldn't be coming in now. So, Eleesa let herself just fall against him, melt against him in her sorrow and worries. Her head rested upon his shoulder, and there came this tired but content sigh when he kissed the top of her head. She was trying to calm down, to breathe, to remember that this wasn't the end yet. Anything was possible.

Was she thinking about Lucian's decision or something else? Perhaps it was both.

Her fingers had curled into the fabric at his chest, tightening a little when he drew away, as if she wasn't ready to part from him. But he only leaned back a little, enough to look at her and she swallowed the rest of her tears; giving him a small but sincere smile. "You've done enough already," she told him. Even when he hadn't been prompted. It was yet another difference between the duke and her late husband, and she wasn’t used to it. Somehow, it still surprised her. Edward's ways had been so ingrained into her head that it had become the norm, it was what she was to expect from any man. And here Triston was, defying all of it.

Eleesa said nothing else, just watching him in a long moment of silence as her hand left his chest to rise up to his face. Fingertips traced along his sideburns, noting the bit of grey at his temples, the subtle changes of age that were still hardly noticeable. In many ways, he was still the young man she remembered, but she supposed they both had changed and aged. They were different people, and yet not.

She just studied him in quiet contemplation before rising up onto her toes; fingers brushed softly across his cheek before she was placing a gentle, lingering kiss against his lips. 'Everything's going to be alright. I promise you.' "I know." Her eyes were still closed, and she simply rested there against him as she allowed as much of her worry to dissipate.

[Triston deGrey]

Triston felt so helpless seeing Eleesa so upset and feeling like there was nothing more he could do to make the situation any easier. So many decisions and situations rested outside both of their control and it was frustrating, to say the least. He wanted nothing more than to see Eleesa smiling and without a worry to pass through her mind. He wanted to see her happy. He wanted to make her happy, as he thought he did so many years ago. There was that time gap again-- a period that was stolen from both of their lives and left Triston wondering if they even knew one another as much as they used to. A lot could happen to a person in ten years. A lot of change could take place. Were they only hoping to close the gap, expecting one another would be the same as they once were? Would Eleesa still like the man he had become now?

The thoughts strangely crossed his mind as he kept that space between them. Even as the queen told him to leave the ink on the floor, he simply shook his head and continued to clean it up. He needed to occupy himself, to do anything but stand there looking at her out of fear of mistakenly showing her how helpless, weak, and powerless he felt. He needed to keep busy, not wanting to awkwardly stand there watching her break down. Yet, if he waited too long, would he come across as uncaring? It was that final thought that made him move forward to her. He wanted nothing more than to be the backbone she needed--to hold her steady and be her strength at that moment.

Even as she admitted her resentment towards her father, Triston shook his head. “But he didn’t allow you the choice, did he?” Despite the dire situation in Anemone needing to marry, and Lucian being the perfect match for her, Eleesa was still giving them the choice in the matter, holding nothing else but hope over the entire situation. The power was completely in his brother and the queen’s lady now. “I did not sense any anger or resentment towards you, from Lucian… Just perhaps...surprise and a big choice to make. Rightfully so, don’t you think?” He dipped down to catch her attention, focusing his brown eyes on hers and urging her to look him in the eye as he gently caressed her cheek, a reassuring smile offered to her.

Having her in his arms felt, natural to him--as if she had always belonged there. The way she melted into him, accepting his comfort and strength he tried offering her the best he could, it caused him to release a slow and steady breath. He nearly forgot about what brought them to this moment now, as if nothing else mattered at all.

It wasn’t until Eleesa spoke again, claiming he had already done enough for her, that he suddenly remembered where he was. He returned that soft and sincere smile and shook his head. “No-- There is never enough,” he quietly whispered, keeping his gaze on hers. “I want to do everything in my power to help.” The tone of his voice was serious and genuine.

Triston watched her as she studied him and ran her fingers along his face and into his sideburns. He smiled softly and allowed his brown-eyed gaze to absorb all of her features. She was still as beautiful as he had always remembered her to be. She had hardly aged to him, despite the faint signs that she had. It was difficult in moments like this, to remember that so much time had passed. Couldn’t they just pretend that it hadn’t?
He kissed her back, matching the gentleness, his fingers weaving and curling into the hair at the nape of her neck. Their kiss lingered for a moment before she pulled away and rested against him, acknowledging his promise to her. He held her tightly against him and rested his chin lightly on the top of her head. He hoped with everything in his being, that he was right. That everything would be okay. Not for his sake--but for hers. For her sons, and his family, and for Tresteria.

“Good,” he whispered into her hair before kissing the top of her head. “Because I won’t stop trying until everything is alright… I don’t want to make the same mistake I did ten years ago.” It had all been out of his control, yet he still blamed himself. He should not have given up so easily.

[Eleesa Demarais]

'But he didn't allow you the choice, did he?'

That made her pause briefly in quiet consideration. No, her father hadn't given her the choice, and a part of her wondered, if she had been a son, if Lord Arnaud would have still offered a choice. Something told her that he wouldn't have. When he wanted something, he saw it done no matter what, forgoing anyone's feelings. For a second, she wondered if he was even proud of her- his obedient and naïve daughter.

"I would have told him no," she said quietly. She knew he was trying to help her understand how her own situation differed from Lucian's- his brother had the choice because Eleesa would never force him into doing anything. Yet, still, she wanted Triston to further understand where she stood, and who she would have chosen all those years ago. Who she still chose.

He knew his brother better than she did, obviously, and if Triston felt like Lucian honestly wasn't angry...then she believed him. Eleesa had simply nodded in reply, knowing the worried thoughts would still linger but they had mostly dissipated, at least. For now, she'd just remain happily there in his arms until they were forced to part once again.

Would there ever be a time where she would be able to do this freely and not hide it?

The thought made the kiss bittersweet in a way, and it pained her heart while it made it thrum wildly at the same time. Eleesa had forgotten what this felt like- to truly and honestly be adored, and to adore that person in return. Maybe pretending the last decade hadn't happened was a good idea. It had been mostly nothing but sorrow and pain for her anyway.

'I don't want to make the same mistake I did ten years ago.'

With a gentle sigh, she pulled back to look up at him with a glare. It was all in love, of course, but if he wasn't going to let her worry about this situation with Lucian and Anemone, she wasn't going to let him worry about something that happened so far in the past.

"You made no mistake, Triston, and you know it," she said gently but sternly, fingers grasping his chin to make a point. "I've tried to believe that things happen for a reason- even horrible, cruel things. Situations shape us so we can better prepare for what else might come." Her voice wavered, as if she might cry once again but no tears were shed as she softly ran her thumb just below his bottom lip. "I thought fate was tormenting me, I thought I somehow deserved everything I went through...but I am here now...with you...and I have to believe it means something. After a decade, I finally feel I'm where I belong."