The Lioness's Roar

[Jayna Moreling]

for Turin Drach

Jayna had refused to look at Lorcan's face the entire way back from the cabin. She couldn't do it; if she met his eyes she'd either vomit or stab him. She wasn't sure which one would happen first, or if she'd do them simultaneously, but she knew she wouldn't be able to keep herself bottled up any longer. It was already too much the moment he'd said those words to Aspen: "You have my word as a Drach that you will walk out of this territory alive if I can make it happen." 

She was still seething: bitterness, envy, rage, each emotion fought for her attention in waves as her mind replayed the conversation over and over. She shouldn't hate Aspen for simply being there, she wouldn't, but she couldn't help wanting to scream. How could this sunshine-blonde Wynfrid girl be the missing link that pushed Lorcan over the edge? How could she get him to admit in one night the things she'd been pushing for three years? Was the answer to unraveling Lorcan Drach really just sex? 

And worse than that--he'd known this entire time, three fucking years, that what his father had done was monstrous, that she should have been either freed or killed, that keeping her here as a slave and a trophy was a fate worse than death. He'd known, and he'd looked the other way. All her hopes that there was a good man hidden in there, if she could just make him see, burned to ashes.

Her life, her dignity, her spirit, they weren't worth enough to him for him to protest. But Aspen's were. She would go free, and Jayna would be here, a worthless slave for the rest of her miserable life. Perhaps she'd be brave enough to end it herself, since he didn't have the decency to do it for her. 

Freed from Lorcan's company, she shut her door and leaned her back against it until she heard his own door close, farther down the hall. She heard him whispering with one of the girls, although she couldn't make out the words, but she was relieved when they moved away. She waited longer still, as long as she could stand it, before she crossed the room in three strides, snatched her pillow off the bed, and fell to her knees beside the plain wooden frame. She knelt with the pillow on the bed in front of her, pressed her face into it, and screamed. 

The pillow muffled the sound to a pathetic groan, but it did nothing to soften the harsh grating of her vocal cords as she voiced the twisted emotions that had been eating her alive for the last three years. She hadn't cried out, hadn't wept, since the moment she was brought before Kaige Drach. Three years she'd kept everything locked inside her rib cage. Now it came out with the burn of acid as the air tore from her throat. It burned, but she didn't stop. She took a deep breath and screamed again, higher, harder. Her throat was raw, but she lifted her face to inhale again. But rather than another scream, what left her was a tired, broken sob. 

Finally, after all this time, she'd had enough. Jayna Moreling sobbed like a broken child, alone in the dark. 

[Turin Drach]

He had gone to bed, but he hadn't slept. Not fully. Turin had slipped in and out of slumber the entire night, knowing Lorcan had gone back, knowing he had quietly slipped out of the house. During his half-awake state, he swore he heard more than one set of footsteps leaving, and he could only assume his brother had brought Jayna. As if the Moreling didn't have enough to deal with. Why ask her for help? What was wrong with asking him?

Lying awake in bed while the rest of the household was in a deep sleep, Turin found himself waiting all over again. He was always waiting. The throbbing in his ankle had subsided, although he knew the moment he tried to put weight on it, the pain would return tenfold. Not that he wasn't used to it by now, but he was struggling to remain calm. He was trying not to be completely angry with Lorcan.

The man had been brief about what happened, and even though Turin had joked slightly, he was teetering on the edge of fury now. He took the brunt of their father's rage while Lorcan couldn't figure out what the fuck to do with the Wynfrid girl. It was quite possible he'd suffer again at Kaige's hands if his damned brother didn't return before the man woke.

But his curiosity was eating away at him. What was going on? Turin finally slipped from his bed and pulled a shirt over his head before hobbling over to his door. He didn't hear anyone anymore, but he had vaguely heard them arrive back. One of the girls had woken up, too. After a moment, he slipped from his room and paused. Should he bother Lorcan? Turin suddenly drifted in the opposite direction before very quietly tapping a knuckle against the Moreling's door. Normally he'd ask to come in, but he didn't want to alert anyone else as he stood outside her room.

Chancing it, he slowly opened the door to peer in...only to find the girl on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. Oh, shit. This wasn't what he signed up for, and yet, he couldn't seem to turn around and shut the door, pretend like none of it had happened. No, instead, Turin was standing there in the doorway with a stupid look on his face until he finally decided to drift inside, shutting the door behind him. He didn't think he ever saw her cry before, which was precisely why this was taking him off guard. It didn't feel right.

"Jayna...?" he said quietly, taking a couple steps closer, ignoring his own discomfort for now.

[Jayna Moreling]

Jayna didn't hear the knock, or her door swinging open--the way she'd folded her arms up under the pillow bent it up to block her ears partially as well. She wasn't aware that anyone else was there until she heard a familiar voice. Her head snapped upward as she turned to see Turin looking at her with almost as much shock as was written all over her own face. Her typical eye-kohl had run in streaks down her face, and even her surprise wasn't enough to return her breathing to normal; her whole body shuddered with the ragged gasp.

As she stared at him with wide eyes, a flurry of emotions flickered across her face and she swiped at her eyes with her sleeves. She had never expected to be seen, she'd been crying alone in the dark for good reason. Weakness was a danger, here.She was supposed to be hardened, strong. A worthy enemy.

But why the hell should she feel so ashamed of her emotions? She was right to be angry, and she had every right to mourn her own innocence as well as her family's lives. She was a Moreling. Morelings weren't afraid of their emotions; they faced them head on and trusted their intuition to guide them. Why should she have to hide who she was? Caution and falsehoods clearly wasn't getting her anywhere, tonight had proved that, and yet she knew she ought to be grateful that it was Turin who had found her-- he was the only one out of the three Drach men she knew wouldn't use this against her. 

She swallowed hard. Since he was here, and he'd already seen, there was no point in pretending she wasn't upset. "He practically swore she'd make it out unharmed. He doesn't want Kaige to touch her." Her voice was raw, but that didn't stop it from carrying her fury and pain with it. She practically spat the final word.

[Turin Drach]

Yeah, this was a bad idea. He should've just left because it was clear that she hadn't heard him come in. Turin was silently cursing at himself; torn between apologizing and stepping out, and remaining there. Seeing any woman or girl cry was a weakness of his- his sisters knew now that they could wield tears to get what they wanted. But to see Jayna weep and sob? It wasn't right. It was strange and it tugged at a guilt he knew he shouldn't have. He wasn't the one who had slaughtered her family and clan or enslaved her. Even still, he was a Drach, and that was enough to make him feel horrible for so many things.

"I'm...I'm sorry, I didn't realize-" He tried stammering out an apology for intruding. All of it just got worse when she finally managed to speak. At first, there was a flicker of confusion on his face before Turin ultimately understood who she was speaking about. Lorcan. His fucking idiot brother and the Wynfrid girl he decided to take hostage instead of kill or bring to father. Like he should have.

Like he should have. That thought made his gut twist into knots because he knew it was wrong. He knew Lorcan had done the right thing...he just went about it poorly, and everyone else he claimed to care about was suffering for it. Evident by his own limp as he approached Jayna a little closer and struggled to take a seat next to her. Well, there was no walking out of that room just yet.

A sigh, Turin ran a hand down his face as though it would take away all the frustration. "I'm...sorry." Yeah,  you already said that. He really didn't know what to say...because what was there to even say to that? Jayna had suffered, still suffered, and he knew all of it. "Honestly, I...don't even know how to handle it." He was in no way comparing  his own troubled thoughts to her own...but at least she knew that he was also extremely displeased with his brother.

[Jayna Moreling]

Jayna's eyes narrowed as Turin came in farther--she'd half expected him to turn and run after hearing her actual thoughts for the first time. Not only that, but he was limping. If she had any money, she'd bet Kaige was the source of that. The realization sent a spark of sympathy through her that she wished she could have avoided; she nearly told him to stop and just sit on the bed where he would be more comfortable. She wanted to have time to feel angry, dammit. She was so sick of having empathy for the clan that had made her life a living hell for the last three years. It would be so much simpler if she could just turn that off, if she could truly hate them...but then who would she be? Certainly not a Moreling.

His second apology wrung a heavy sigh from her, and she pushed her hair back out of her face and ran her fingers through it to vent some of her nervous energy. She believed him, actually, that he was sorry. Sorry as in sorrow. Pain for her pain. She'd suspected for a while now that Turin could sympathize more than most. Perhaps it was because he was the middle brother: the one who worked hardest to keep the others happy, and the one who received none of the praise. Perhaps it was just who he was. Even so, it didn't change what either of them was. They were enemies from birth.

He didn't know how to handle it? The remark brought a bitter laugh to her lips. "Well, we could always stab him. That was my first thought," she admitted with a sardonic grin. "Obviously, I decided that wouldn't be very productive," she added more seriously, not wanting her sudden lack of restraint to get her into trouble. It was probably the first time she'd ever made a joke in front of him, now that she thought about it. He might not recognize it right away.

In reality, how to handle it was a very good question. Obviously throwing a temper tantrum like a spoiled child wasn't going to get her any farther than her controlled silence had. How to proceed... As she considered it, her hands moved almost of their own accord to begin plaiting her hair into a five-part braid, beginning at the crown of her head and adding a little more with each repetition of the weave. The memory came easily to her fingers, each little twist restoring a bit more of her calm. Her hair had been down to her waist, before--she had been undefeated for quite some time among the Moreling women. After the death of her family, she had cut it short with the first blade she had been able to get her hands on, shearing it off at the base of her head in one great fistful. She hadn't braided it since that day. Not until now. Today was the day for that, she felt. Today was the day to be a Moreling once more.

That was it, wasn't it? That was how she was going to proceed. She'd thought it already--why should she be ashamed of her feelings? Why should she smother who she was? Let Kaige beat her if he liked, she was used to it. But she wouldn't give him that control any longer.

As she reached the ends of her hair and moved a tie from her wrist to secure it, she seemed to return to the present, blinking a few times to refocus her eyes as she looked up at Turin. "I'm not sure it's something that we will have the option to handle," she said pointedly. "Your brother is very keen on making all the decisions on his own, if you hadn't already noticed. And it's not entirely that I disagree with him." The admission made her lip curl with self-disgust, but she had already committed to speaking as a Moreling would, and that meant full honesty. "I want her alive as much as anyone. More, perhaps. But that doesn't make it any fairer, or any less infuriating."

She decided to stop there, looking at him with an eyebrow raised as if in challenge. She was certain she'd never said this much to him in one day before, let alone a few minutes. She wondered what he would think of it, this return to the real Jayna. She shouldn't let that influence her, obviously, because he was her enemy, but that didn't make it any less interesting to see how he would react. 

[Turin Drach]

Perhaps he was feeling a little lost himself. There were so many secrets floating around, so many dangers, and he didn't know which to handle first. If Lorcan didn't get his shit together, Kaige's temper might flare up even more, and Turin might not be able to protect anyone from the man's wrath. And that was what he was mostly afraid of right now. While Lorcan made promises to some Wynfrid, he was breaking the promises he had made to everyone else. To his family. And being their father's punching bag got tiresome.

'Well, we could always stab him.' Bright eyes shifted to the side to regard her immediately. Now, while Turin's thoughts had actually already gone there, along with throwing rocks at his brother or knocking him upside the head with a sack of grain, he didn't mean it. Not entirely. Not truly. Jayna, though, well...he couldn't be too sure, and sadly couldn't blame her either. Everything had been taken from her, so in reality, she should probably stab them all.

Still, he suddenly found himself laughing. Quietly, of course, lest he wake up the entire household, but he couldn't seem to hold it back. Maybe he was overly exhausted and shouldn't be finding any humor in any of this...yet that was sort of what he did now, wasn't it? Leave it to "funny Turke" to crack a joke and ease tension or just act like an idiot. Sure.

Maybe he was just fed up.

Once his laughter inevitably died down, he watched her briefly in that trance as she had begun to braid her hair until his attention drifted back towards the door. Thinking about everything on the other side of it. Turin didn't want to deal with any of it, but even as the middle son, he wouldn't be so easily forgotten. When he actually wanted that treatment, to be overlooked, he never got it...only during times when he deserved the limelight. He also never got that either.

When Jayna spoke again, he didn't look back over to her just yet. Turin heard the accentuated word and it made him cringe. Yes, they were enemies, they were supposed to be enemies, but at this point they both had the same goal, just didn't seem to realize it yet. Kaige Drach was a problem, and Turin just wanted to grab his sisters and go. Never look back. If only it were that easy...

Finally turning those blue eyes to her, they were slightly narrowed in thought. "There's no stopping him now. I'm not even debating it. But if we don't stay three steps ahead of my father...then we will all fall." Enemies, yes, but Turin also knew Jayna cared about the girls in the very least. That was enough for him to believe that she wouldn't just willingly throw them to the wolves. Or in this case, one angry dragon. Perhaps, for just a brief time, enemies had to work together to defeat a greater threat.

[Jayna Moreling]

She was glad he'd laughed--it meant he could catch the same kind of gallows humor that was needed to get through times like this. And it meant that he knew she wouldn't actually stab Lorcan...for now.

She raised her eyebrow at Turin's answer, a matching corner of her mouth quirking up with it. We, huh? He was taking that word and running with it, it seemed, and she was actually pleased to hear it. A team. Even if it was only as unlikely allies against a madman, she was glad to have someone on her side. She was getting tired of standing silent and alone. When had she decided that was who she would be? The opposite of everything being Moreling had once stood for? Sure, she had been strong, brave...but she hadn't fought, hadn't protested, hadn't worked for what was right. Planning was all well and good, but if you never moved, was it planning, or procrastination?

More than that, though, she was glad it was Turin. Where his brother was silent, Turin was constantly trying to interject light into the darkness of the household. She could never tell if he meant it, or if he was working just as hard to lighten his own thoughts. Either way, she appreciated that he was more open, even if it was only a few inches between the door and the frame. She could get her foot in that door. And maybe, just maybe, she could open hers to him. But that would be a decision for another day.

"Alright then, three steps ahead it is. His current step is apparently to look for trouble with the other clans. Your brother seems to think he wants to be king of the whole island...and I wouldn't put it past that power-hungry bastard. I've been waiting, all this time, for him to decide some other clan's land looked too good to resist. I just hope he knows that slaughtering an entire island worth of people won't build him a kingdom." Her lip curled in disgust and she shook her head. "The question, then, is how we turn that greed to our advantage...or beat him to the punch."

[Turin Drach]

His thoughts were pure treason, and Turin was aware that his father would not hesitate to end his life if he had heard a single word of it. That was why he couldn't feel guilty for wishing the man dead. Watching him slaughter an entire clan, and keep Jayna alive to bear witness to it all had been the start. But the abuse he himself endured, along with Lorcan and his sisters, it all just piled up. How was he supposed to love and admire a man like that? Why should he be proud to be his son?

Jayna had every right to hate and distrust him, but he was on her side whether he fully realized it or not. Turin never agreed with her treatment, but he was "too weak" to do anything about it. There was only so much he could do to protect his own siblings from the tyrant.

As she spoke of Kaige, he laughed again but this time it was sarcastic, maybe even annoyed and tired. Shaking his head in disbelief, he shifted as he leaned against the side of the bed, carefully stretching out that injured leg. "The fact that he hasn't even told Lorcan is what worries me." If this was all true, what other secrets was his father keeping from them? What other dangers were lurking about?

Turin bowed his head and sighed, really not sure what to do or how to proceed. Just having this conversation with her had been surprise enough. "I suppose, to start, we help that fuckin' fool get the Wynfrid out before Father hears of it..." And then rain hell down upon all of them.

[Jayna Moreling]

Jayna chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip while she waited for Turin's thoughts on her evaluation. What he said was definitely the logical solution: getting Aspen out was the first step in stopping a war, even if it made her insides burn as if she'd swallowed a forest fire. Why hadn't anyone reacted before? Why hadn't her own warnings been enough?

Questioning the past wasn't going to get her anywhere. Keep fighting. A lioness doesn't surrender. It was time to get down to business. Getting Aspen out shouldn't be impossible--they just needed to get her past the border without being seen. Seeing as Lorcan took his little hunting trips frequently enough, it shouldn't be too difficult for him to drift out that way. The timing might be harder than anything else. That, and keeping the secret.

"If this all comes out, things will get messy. You have my word, I'll do anything I can to protect the girls. I'd sooner die than see them harmed." She meant it, too. Those girls had adopted her as quickly as she'd adopted them, and she saw them as her own sisters. She would fight to the death for them.

"And at least we've got each other in this, hm? It's good to know you're not as addled as your dear brother. The one sane man in the whole house," A slow smile spread across her face and she offered her hand to Turin as if it were a handshake. If he reached to take it, she'd pull him in, so their opposite shoulders met. He may not be Moreling, but he was still her ally now. He could be treated as such.

"I'm looking forward to working together, Turin Drach. May you do your real family proud."

[Turin Drach]

This was strange in so many ways, and it was almost surreal to be seated there in the dark talking to her. Planning with the young woman who he was always told to consider the enemy, just a slave in the last few years. A part of him had, and still possibly did, if only because he didn't know any better. Turin had seen what his father had done, witnessed the slaughter of the Moreling clan...and he didn't agree with it. To voice this would bring an axe down on his neck because it was not "the Drach way."

When Jayna mentioned protecting the girls, he watched her for a good long moment. Enemies or not, he believed her. He always knew the girls were safe in the lioness' hands despite the fact that she had every opportunity to kill them and take her revenge. Perhaps she felt weak and unable to do anything at times, but Turin saw her quite the opposite way. She was far stronger for what she had to endure...for what she shouldn't have had to endure.

"Thank you," he told her quietly with a nod. It was a comfort to know he wasn't the only one who would take a beating for his sisters, or worse- die for them. It wasn't exactly something he wanted to talk or think about.

Her following words managed to bring a slow but sincere grin to own his face, bright eyes glancing down to her outstretched hand. Turin angled himself a bit more so that he could take it in his to shake in agreement, only to be pulled closer in that other form of greeting and acceptance. It took him slightly by surprise, but he said nothing of it. If anything, it seemed to ease his worry a little.

"We'll survive this. We can survive this if we stick together...because I do not think I can do this alone." He had Lorcan, he figured, but there was also an underlying worry surrounding his brother. A furrow of his brow at this thought, he began to climb up to his feet to prepare to leave. It was slow going considering his injury, but he managed before he was looking down to her. There was clearly something else he wanted to say, yet he was hesitating because he shouldn't say it. "I know it means little now...but I'm sorry. For what has happened to you." Turin was quite aware that nothing he could possibly say would ever heal that wound, one that he couldn't begin to imagine. Still, he felt like someone had to tell her...even if it was a couple years too late.

It was in that moment that he wanted to suddenly promise her that he'd get her out of here somehow, in some way. However, he wasn't sure if it would ever be possible without bringing Kaige's wrath down upon more than just their heads.

[Jayna Moreling]

Jayna's face was tight with worry as she watched the younger Drach climb to his feet. She wanted to help, was tensed to do so if he faltered even in the slightest, but she knew that could be an overstep. Even tenuously allied like this, she didn't know what might be seen as an insult. Once she saw he was safely on his feet, she settled more comfortably onto the floor and rested her hands in her lap. She'd worry about getting ready for bed once she was alone again.

She'd expected Turin to make a quick retreat, now that he was up, but he turned back to her, clearly hesitating. The question was clear in the turn of her dark brows as she waited for him to say whatever it was.

"I know it means little now...but I'm sorry. For what has happened to you."

Her brows flew upward and her eyes went wide. All this time, she'd been waiting for someone to say something, for someone to admit that what Kaige had done was wrong. And now both Drach brothers had done it in one night. She didn't know what had changed, how Aspen had managed to be the key that set everything in motion, but it was turning her entire life upside down.

How did one answer that? An apology for the murder of your entire family, your own near-rape, and slavery of three years? Clearly, she couldn't say all was forgiven; that would be a lie. And, frankly, while Turin may have stood by and done nothing, she couldn't say that he was as guilty as the man who had driven them all into this shame and violence. Turin's apology, his remorse...it wasn't the one she needed. But still...It added another crack to the shield she'd put around her emotions. The truth of herself she'd hidden for so long. She stared at him in shock and something akin to horror for longer than she would have liked before she finally managed to say something.

"Perhaps there's hope for you, after all, Turin," she told him, a wry smile creeping onto her lips. "I never thought I'd hear a Drach admit they were wrong. It's...oddly reassuring."

[Turin Drach]

Unfortunately, Turin was used to this. He was used to having to hobble around on one leg, or to train and get through the day with a sore arm or a massive headache. It was drilled into him to take and handle the beatings, then never falter...because if he did, it would show weakness. And a Drach wasn't weak.

The moment those words left his mouth, it only made him feel a tiny bit better. It had been something he had wanted to say the night it happened. It was something he should have said all the night prior. Turin just didn't feel like it would have mattered, or that his father would somehow find out and unleash further hell upon him. So, what was so different right now? He didn't really know, but he let out a gentle sigh of relief despite none of this actually feeling better.

She lost her entire clan, how could it ever be better?

Her words made the smallest grin curl his lips, but it was emotionally tired. "I'm always the wrong one, Moreling, or have you forgotten?" His words were bitter but not towards her. Lorcan was the golden child, if anyone bothered to notice. Turin was simply there to do the bidding of everyone else, the one struggling to crack jokes to ease the tension, all the while attempting to find a place in this clan. In his own family.

His expression softened after a few seconds and he just nodded in some form of understanding. Perhaps, if he had had the power to change things, he might have taken that chance...yet, he didn't. Not now, and possibly not ever. All that he knew now was that something was happening. A dark cloud was looming over them all, and each and every one of them had to figure out who their true enemies were. That feeling told me that it wasn't Jayna. At least he hoped she wasn't.

"Good night," he told her quietly before he turned once again to make his way out the door and head for his own room.

[Jayna Moreling]

Always the wrong one? Only if you believed that Kaige had the right answers. She shook her head, silently disagreeing. She wasn't sure how to make her argument...but somehow she knew in her gut that Turin wasn't nearly as stupid as he and the others made him out to be. He'd proven tonight that he was paying attention...and it wasn't the first time, although it was the boldest.

She stayed silent as she watched him turn to leave, lost in memories of her three years here. Perhaps she had more friends here than she'd realized.

It wasn't until the door was nearly closed behind him that she called out after him. "Goodnight, Turin."