Chivalry Fell on Its Sword

[Ramiel Corus]

Ramiel was luckier than he had any right to be. He had escaped Saryndale with a bag of supplies and  barely enough money to bribe a merchant into taking him away from there. In Tresteria, he had asked after the woman called @nemeris, and been met with few answers and a good deal of suspicion from his battered state. But he had managed to find some work for a few weeks, earning enough money to buy passage off the land. While he did so, he heard gossip tell of the court in Aralore, who took in everyone, even a woman with a strange name, from a strange land, who had apparently been cast out by her own brother. He recognized her even without the name attached, and knew he must make his way to Aralore. This time he crewed on the ship, filling an empty post on a trade run to Aralore. The crew treated him like an equal, though he kept to himself, and he was surprised to find that he still received enough money to pay for at least one night at an inn for his troubles. 

He didn't bother to settle down, however, after arriving in the misty hours of the winter morning, when the sun was only beginning to creep over the horizon. He would waste no more time in seeking out the queen. He asked after Nemeris, and was directed to her home. By this time his injuries had begun to heal, but he still earned stares for the terrible shape of his once well-made clothes, and the puckered and scabbed cut that crossed his forehead in a vicious slash. He thought bitterly of the whip lashes still healing on his back, and was grateful for his shirt and tattered cloak to keep those, at least, from prying eyes. 

When he reached Arundel manor, the sun was above the horizon and shone its cold light down on the house. He stopped in the drive, staring at the house with apprehension. The place appeared almost abandoned in its darkened state, and he wondered if he had been mislead until he spotted a candle flickering near one of the windows. Relieved, he approached the house and prepared himself for his judgement. 

He took a deep breath and pounded loudly on the front door with his fist. 

When Nemeris opened it, she would find him standing with his hands clasped in front of him, eyes downcast. His hair was knotted at the back of his head, his face sunburned in addition to the still healing cuts, and the clothes he had left were in terrible shape, leaving him to look like a tattered ghost from her past. Once he looked up and saw who had opened the door, however, he fell to his knees. He stared at her, awestruck by seeing her again after all this time, for a second longer, then dropped his hands and forehead to the cold ground as well, kowtowing before her.

"Forgive me, my Queen, for I have failed you." 

[Nemeris Arundel]

It was not often that someone sought out Nemeris, or came to visit her at her home. Not unless something was needed from her. Whether that be for her position at Court, or if someone needed some type of herbal remedy for something. Or for those who knew what she was capable of, a visit filled with curiosity and doubt.

She had woken fairly early, as she typically did, and she cleaned herself up and dressed in a black lacy blouse and a grey flowy skirt. Her long light brown hair was braided over her shoulder. Eoin did not appear to be home and she figured he had left earlier to go do whatever it was he did nowadays. Hunting, building his cabin the forest. Something.

Nemeris was in the kitchen preparing breakfast for herself, and Eoin if he returned home in time for it. It as then when she heard the loud pounding at her front door. It had made her jump, startled. With such an urgent knock, she wondered if the matter was dire and she was needed for something. So she dropped what she was doing and made her way to the door, unlocking it and flinging it open with annoyance. Her piercing-blue eyes were narrowed on whomever would be standing on the other side of the door. Was it really necessary that they knock so loudly, nearly scaring her half to death?

Though when she saw who it was, her eyes widened, her jaw clenched tightly and for a moment, she thought she had a ghost in front of her. Definitely a ghost of her past. Ramiel. Had he been searching for her this long? Was he here to take her back to Saryndale to put her to death? What was he doing here? Her lips parted to speak, but her voice was lost in disbelief. She was about to shut the door in his face, to lock him out should he be there to capture her and drag her back home for what she hadn't done, that everyone believed her to have. But he was collapsing to his knees in front of her, causing her to pause. Her own piercing eyes found his as he stared at her, but still, she could not bring herself to say anything.

To her surprise, he sank even lower then, as he pressed his forehead to the ground and finally spoke. His words were confusing, and she was not sure she heard them correctly. It took a moment for them to register in her mind. And after that moment, she couldn't help but laugh out loud. Her head shook and her eyes narrowed at him. "I am no Queen. I do not know what you are talking about. Go away." Maybe if she pretended to have forgotten about him, to pretend she did not know what he meant-- he would leave her alone.

[Ramiel Corus]

Her laughter startled him, and he rose up to sit on his haunches, looking up at her with narrowed eyes. She was still as beautiful as he remembered, he couldn't help noticing, but the chill in her tone struck a shard of ice into his heart. Why was she lying to him? Did she not trust the truth in his apology? He would not be deterred by false words and cruelty. Perhaps he deserved it, but he would not give up so easily.

"I should think I would recognize a woman whose home I visited many times," he answered firmly and looked her dead in the eye. "I was deceived by lies and treachery for years, Nemeris. I will do so no longer. I know who you are, and I know your innocence. I have come to make my penance to the rightful queen of Saryndale."

His answer left no room for argument, and if she still tried to keep up her lies after that, he would be disappointed in her. He had known she would be changed by the betrayal of her kingdom and her son, but to see her now, looking at him as if he were the scum of the Earth...it was more painful than he had thought. And yet, in some ways, it was comforting. He should be scorned, punished for his failures. Justice should be done to him as well as the others.

In his mind, justice was a balance--he had broken that balance by supporting injustice and treachery, and he would suffer to right the scales. It was the way of things. All he could do was hope that he might also be a weapon of justice in making things right for Nemeris. She deserved her freedom, her child, and her crown, and he would see that she got them.

[Nemeris Arundel]

Nemeris was hardly the same woman that he had visited in the past. Things were easier back then. She wore smiles more often. There was a kindness to her eyes. Now, her stare was ice and enough to pierce through someone's soul. She now looked like a woman who had grown older, perhaps wiser, and scorned many times. Her eyes were tired, there was no smile on her lips, and there was just this darkness that seemed to surround her very presence.

She stared back into his eyes, no expression was worn on her features as she listened to him speak. Her arms folded across her chest as she glanced down at him. Now he wished to believe her? Now that it was too late? That her whole life had gone to hell? A saddened laugh vibrated in her throat and she shook her head. "I am not that woman any longer. And I am no queen. You've wasted your time."

Nemeris wanted to cry. This was all some cruel joke of her brother's, wasn't it? All of these years and he had finally found her. He couldn't just leave her alone, could he? Her throat tightened as she refused to allow herself to get emotional. Ramiel had just been another loyal dog to her brother, and he probably would have killed her himself if James had not decided to just exile her. How could things have possibly changed in his mind?

She backed up, not wishing to see the man any further, nor speak with him. Her hand grasped the door as if to shut it once she cleared the opening. "Please... Go." Her voice was a strained whisper as she struggled to get the words out.

[Ramiel Corus]

Ramiel's heart was breaking, watching her. This was his fault. The pain behind her eyes, the ice in her heart, the bitterness she had tasted. He could have prevented it if only he'd seen the truth. He was a fearsome warrior, who would not falter when a blow landed close to his heart, did not cry out when beaten in prison, but when she laughed again, he flinched. It was small, a mere closing of his eyes that might be mistaken for a blink by anyone else, but he had no doubt she would recognize it for what it was.

When she backed away and looked as if she might shut the door, he got to his feet in one smooth movement, surprisingly agile for such a large man, and put his hand out to hold the door open.

"Nemeris, please," he pleaded, and he could not hide the desperation in his voice. "You're right to hate the man I was, blindly obedient to that snake of a king. In my grief, I was willing to take any answer. I needed someone to blame. So I clung to what I knew--I was a guard to the king, and so I decided I would do that. I would guard the king. I was a fool." He looked away, overwhelmed with disgust for what he had been. For what he had done. He swallowed hard, fighting the bile that rose in his throat at the memory.

"I heard the truth from the King's own lips. He was talking with his mother, and he admitted to killing your father, and my br--and Nicholas." He looked back at her, the shame clear in his eyes. "I trusted too much in justice. I thought I could overturn things with nothing but the truth as my weapon, fool that I was. I should have known better. I went to tell your son, and I was arrested. I was beaten, tormented, and sentenced to death. I will show you the lash marks if you need proof." He laughed bitterly. "They forgot me, left me in the stocks overnight. I was that worthless to them. And so I escaped."

[Nemeris Arundel]

As she attempted to shut the door, she felt the resistance of it and turned her gaze to find that Ramiel had stood and was holding the door, preventing her from shutting it on him. Her eyes narrowed at him again as he pleaded with her.

Nemeris wasn't sure what to take from his words... What to think. Yes, she had every right to hate him-- he had been one to aid in ridding of her, so quick to believe her brother, not even bothering to listen or hear her own words. No one had bothered to listen to her. So why did he think he had the right to be listened to now?

As he told her what he had heard for himself, she couldn't help but roll her eyes. "I could have told you the truth years ago..." Her eyes narrowed at him harshly. He had no idea what turmoil she had been through-- how her life had been completely ruined. She had to start all over, she had lost everything.

But when Ramiel had mentioned her son, her eyes widened with even more hurt. Her son. That had been the worst part of all of this-- her son had even turned against her, not believing or wanting to hear anything that she had to say. No one had given her the chance to defend herself. No one had stood by her side. It had done a number to her heart-- What kind of person did people perceive her as, to not even bother to give her a chance to say anything? They had all been so quick to judge and trust that she had it in her to kill her own father, whom she loved dearly, and her own husband--the father of her son.

She stood there, her hand still on the door, her icy blue eyes staring at him as if she could kill him with her gaze. Did he wish for her to pity him when he told her how he was arrested, beaten, tormented, and sentenced to death? At his bitter laugh, she narrowed her eyes at him and tilted her chin upwards as she spoke. "I would have rather dealt with that fate than to be thrown out to the streets with nothing of my life worth living anymore. I would have rather been sentenced to death... "

[Ramiel Corus]

Ramiel raised an eyebrow. "You say that, and yet here you are, alive. I think you know as well as I do that you deserve justice, Nemeris, for what was done to you. And I intend to see that you get it." His voice and his eyes were fierce, fire to her ice. He burned with anger for what had been done to her. Perhaps she had let her own grow cold, but he could not.

"I left in the night, half-dead, to find you. That is what kept me alive. I couldn't abandon you, not again," he told her, his posture just as proud and firm as her own, now. "You are the rightful queen. Your brother is a slime, the kingdom a shambles, and your son being raised by a poisonous madman. I know full well this is as much my fault as it is James's. But at least I aim to fix it," He argued.

Her reaction to his words about her son had not gone unnoticed, and his voice softened as he returned to the subject.

"Even before all this, I did what I could to teach your son the way I thought your father would have..." His fists clenched, "The way you would have. But he deserves his mother, just as much as you deserve your son." He meant it, too. He had grown to care for Christian, had spent much of his free time training the boy with a sword, playing games, talking. He was becoming a fine young man, although the twisted effects of James's influence were still clear. Ramiel had hope that Christian could become a better king than his uncle--but he had no doubt that his chances would be better if he could restore Christian's faith in his mother, and restore her place in his life.

Things were not going how Ramiel might have hoped. He'd pinned his faith on Nemeris, with his shiny ideals now battered and burned, and she wanted nothing to do with him. Rationally, he knew that was only fair, after he had stood aside and let her be chased from her home. It stung, but he understood. Even so, he would not let go. Let her treat him as the mangy dog that he was, but he would find a way to serve her. He would make recompense.

He sighed. "As I said the moment I saw you, I failed you. I won't expect you to forgive me, to like me, to trust me. But make use of me. Perhaps I cannot be a friend. Fine. Make me a tool. I am here to serve you, to see that you get what you are due. Why should you pass up the opportunity to take back what is yours?"

[Nemeris Arundel]

Yes, she was here, alive. But if she could go back in time, knowing what she knew now, she may have refused to leave and let her brother kill her. Perhaps she could have killed herself by now, but she didn't have it in her for some reason. But it didn't mean she wished for death on a nightly basis before going to bed.

Justice. Of course she deserved justice. But it was not something she had plans on pursuing anytime soon. Now wasn't the time--especially with the approaching war. She had work to do.
Nemeris let out a hollow laugh as he stated she was what had kept him alive. She was having a difficult time showing the man any sympathy when he had no idea what she had been through herself since she had been forced out of Saryndale.

He kept saying she was queen, and she shook her head in response. She was no queen, nor would she ever want to be. Saryndale, aside from her son, was dead to her now. And her brother, apparently, was dragging it down with him.

Nemeris let her gaze fall when he spoke of her son again. She wasn't certain how much she truly believed his words. Of course a boy needed his mother. But he had made it quite clear of his hatred for her. Nemeris felt she had failed as a mother, and for that very reason--she did not deserve her son.

Ramiel had failed her. And she did not know if she could forgive him. Or anyone back home, for that matter. At his question, she narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head. "I do not want Saryndale. Nor am I or will ever be its queen... As I have said before... You have wasted your time coming. My home is here now...And we have a war to plan for. If you wanted to be of use to me, you could have taken my son away from there with you... But you've failed at that too, now, haven't you?"

Her words were perhaps harsh and uncaring. She was not the same woman she was back in Saryndale. A lot had changed and she became a cold, bitter woman with walls so high up, it seemed impossible to break through.

[Ramiel Corus]

This time Ramiel's flinch was unmistakable. She'd truly poured salt in that wound, and rubbed it in for good measure. His expression soured.

"You're not wrong," he answered in a voice that was nearly a growl. "And if all you want is to cause me pain, by all means, continue. You're certainly good at it."

He turned aside and lifted his free hand to rub his brow, careless of the wound that crossed the path of his calloused fingers. He shut his eyes and sighed, clearly realizing that he'd reacted in bitterness. He'd been running on adrenaline and obsession, til now, but without that to drive him, his fatigue was beginning to seep through. He hadn't seriously considered what he would do if she turned him down completely--he'd thought that surely even if she didn't care to forgive him, she'd have some use for a warrior. And now...nothing but heartache. Perhaps that too was what he deserved.

He dropped his hand from his face but kept the other on the door as he turned back to her, the exhaustion clear in his eyes and voice.

"Is there nothing I can do to be of use to you? I cannot simply vanish from whence I came. At the very least it will take me time here on Aralore before I am ready to leave. But if what you truly want is for me to leave you alone, I will do so. I owe you that much at least: my obedience."

[Nemeris Arundel]

Nemeris fought the urge to roll her eyes. If Ramiel thought she would have been sympathetic towards him, that she would have welcomed him with open arms-- then he had been delusional and hopeful of something that wasn't possible. Could anyone fault her for being so cold and cruel to someone who had aided in the downfall of her life? What had he expected from her? Certainly he didn't think it would be that easy. She really hoped Eoin Rodain came home soon. Perhaps with his presence, Ramiel would leave her alone.

Nemeris watched him as that defeat, exhaustion, and disappointment crossed over his features. Her eyes remained narrowed on him as she folded her arms over her chest.

He was here now, and she doubted he would be going back to Saelis. Especially if he was now a wanted man. So what use was he to now? He hadn't brought her son along with him, and now both of them would not be welcomed back into Saelis.
She couldn't help but laugh at his words. He owed her his obedience?

"Have you become nothing but a dog, Ramiel?" She shook her head, looking at him as if he were a pathetic waste of a man. But he was a fighter, a soldier. Something that Aralore could use right now. She sighed and lifted a hand to brush strands of auburn hair from her face. "You would be welcomed here in Aralore... They are in need of soldiers. Go... get involved in the military. A war is coming. If you survive... We can talk again."

[Ramiel Corus]

A bitter laugh shook Ramiel's wide shoulders at her comment. Nothing but a dog? Yes, that was perhaps the most accurate description of himself he'd heard in the last few years. He'd been called a traitor, a leech, a disgrace...but a dog suited him. He grinned with all his teeth, although there was no mirth in his eyes.

"Yes, I think I am. A guard dog with no master."

Her orders to go get involved with the military and the promise that they would talk again if he survived...She may not have realized exactly what she had offered him, but in his current state, those words might save his life. He had a purpose now, the next step. He had plenty of experience with a sword, so he had no doubt he would be a decent soldier to Aralore. He might not be the one man to turn the tide, but he would give all that he had to ensure that Nemeris and her new home were safe. After all, this place was a fledgling land, it needed all the help it could get. From what he had heard during his travels, Aralore stood for something new, with its unique ideas and leadership. He would do as she said; he would fight their war and he would return alive. There was no question in his mind. Relief and determination lifted some of the weight of exhaustion from his shoulders.

"As you wish." He bowed low. "But remember those words, Nemeris. Because I will survive."

[Nemeris Arundel]

Nemeris folded her arms over her chest as he laughed and agreed that he was a dog. A guard dog with no master. She actually rolled her eyes and shook her head. The man had always been the obedient guard and soldier--doing whatever the king had commanded of him. Never living his own life or making his own decisions. At least not until now. Yet, he was turning to her for orders now, despite her disconnection and life away from Saelis. Away from everything she once knew. Which he had part in doing.

She sighed, her eyes narrowing at him as he bowed low and agreed to her command, claiming he would survive and be back to speak with her. Part of her believed him, that he'd find whatever way possible to survive just in spite of her words. But Ramiel did not know Saelis and how they fought, how badly the last war had devastated them, and that Aralore would not survive another war. None of them may be alive and Nemeris sadly thought that perhaps they would be speaking in whatever afterlife there was.

She nodded at him. "We shall see."

[Ramiel Corus]

Finally releasing her door, Ramiel stepped back. "Until then," he told her softly, unwilling to say 'goodbye' or 'farewell' as they seemed to final. He didn't want her getting too comfortable. He would be back, there was no doubt in his mind. The two of them made quite a pair, with all their stubborn pride. It was almost humorous.

With that, he turned and left, as solitary and silent as he had arrived.