Post by Alexandria Eveleigh- Demarais on Mar 26, 2020 20:52:14 GMT -5
[ALEXANDRIA] She had asked for Eoin to meet her where their normal meeting space had been whenever they would meet up in the past, which happened to be the clearing in the forest by the lake. The more she thought about it, the more she thought it may have been a bit inappropriate to suggest such a place, with all the memories that they had shared at this place. But she couldn't think of anywhere else at the moment. The cliffs and the library were both claimed and overcome by Aric and her memories now, and she didn't think it was fair, especially since the library had been where Eoin had proposed to her back then. Meeting there would have been cruel, especially since he had come there during their wedding reception. Aric hadn't known that was the reason she had ran there after the ball, and then he had quickly made it different for her. So the forest was the only spot that made sense to her right now. And the closer she got, the more she felt this was probably a bad idea. But she needed to speak with him. As they got closer to the forest, she turned to her guard, Stefan, and instructed him to stay back, and she would call if she needed him. He complied, stationing himself and his horse under a tree. She rode further into the forest until coming to the clearing where she climbed down from her horse and sighed, as she glanced around. Eoin wasn't there yet, and honestly, she wouldn't blame him for not coming--she hadn't exactly given the best of a welcome back, and she felt awful about it. Alexandria tied her horse to a nearby tree, and she walked to the shoreline of the lake, squatting down to pick up a stone. She studied it, idly, feeling nervous, scared, sick to her stomach. Maybe that tiny little stone would tell her what to do (she was looking at it like it would).
Finally, she stood back up and skimmed the pebble across the water. Unsure of how long she should really wait, she prepared to wait as long as it felt obvious that he wouldn't come. So she moved to sit on a large rock, and she waited, staring off into the waters, watching the ripples move throughout the lake. She was dressed simply in a plain grey dress, her hair was left down and she wore no jewels or crown. Her features looked exhausted and worn out, which certainly reflected how she was feeling from the last few days. [d]
[EOIN] He awoke early and left a note for Nemeris. It was brief, just telling her he had gone to meet the queen, because he didn't know what else to say. He didn't even know whether he should return or not, so he made no mention of anything else, just a quick letter so she knew he hadn't just flat out up and left. Then he took his time heading back into the forest. He rode a little further than he and Nem had yesterday, just to further see the extent of the fire damage before bothering to turn back around...knowing Alexandria would be there. Unless she changed her mind. She would be waiting close to an hour by the time he arrived. He spotted her horse tethered nearby, and he dismounted off of Nomad and allowed him to wander, knowing he would not abandon him. Booted feet were silent upon the forest floor as he wandered closer to the lake, pausing when he spotted her there on the rock. He thought his heart might stop completely, it ached so much. For a long moment, he wondered if this was a good idea, if maybe he should just turn back around...but he knew he would regret it. More than he was going to regret actually speaking with her. So, after another minute of simply standing there watching her, Eoin slowly approached; clearing his throat before addressing her, "Your Majesty..." [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] Despite her nerves, it was peaceful being out there, with nothing but the sounds of the lake and the birds in the trees. Some time had gone by, that she knew simply just sitting there would drive her mad, so she retrieved a journal book and chalk and moved back to her spot on that rock and did some sketches. It had been a while that she did anything like that, and it helped take her mind off of everything and made her calm, strangely. It made the hour wait a bit more tolerable.
She hadn't heard Eoin approach, though, he had always been good at sneaking through the forest and startling her, which is exactly what he did when she heard him clear his throat and speak. Her brightly colored eyes quickly lifted from her drawing and up at him, causing her heart to leap into her throat and she did not notice that she stopped breathing at the sight of him. Was he really alive and there in front of her? It felt so surreal, like something she had dreamt so many times after he had, well, died. Slowly, she stood up, brushing herself off from whatever dirt may have stuck to her from sitting on that rock for so long. Her breath was released quietly, staggering from her lips and she just stared at him for a moment, not knowing what to say. When her voice finally escaped her, it was shaken and quite obvious that she was feeling nervous. "Eoin..." Her eyes were already starting to well up with tears. It pained her maybe just as much as it did him, but perhaps in a completely different way. "Is that really you...?" Her hands were shaking and she tried to calm them by grasping tightly to that book she held onto. [d]
[EOIN] Drawing in a deep, long breath, he let it out as he took only a few steps forward when she turned to face him. He felt like his breath was caught within his chest, that he wouldn't be able to do this all over again. Especially when she was looking at him like that. Eoin's eyes dropped to the ground for a moment as he held his hands out to his sides. "Same as I was last night," he said, trying to keep the bitterness from his tone. Although she had apologized, it still hurt...but he wasn't going to bring it up. He wasn't going to be as cruel as he initially wanted to be. There was no point, and it would just make things worse for him as well. It was instinct for him to immediately go to her side, but...things were different now, were they not? Even if they didn't feel as such for him. He couldn't do it. He couldn't go to her and hold her. He couldn't do anything. The ranger remained where he was. Alexandria had called him here, so he would allow her to speak about whatever it is she desired to. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] Her gaze fell to the ground as he spoke, reminding her of how she had acted last night, and making it obvious that he was hurt by it. She didn't know what she could do or say to make it right-- to fix that. If she could turn back time and change how she had responded to him, she would. Edward had shaken her up to begin with, which hadn't helped with anything. And then to be thrown this surprise--she had been so taken aback.
She sighed quietly, a few tears escaping from her eyelids, and she was afraid to look at him again, afraid to see that hurt in his eyes. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she felt that book slowly slip out of her fingers and drop to the ground. Almost as if her own body betrayed her mind, she was quickly rushing forward towards him and she threw her arms around him. She was nearly sobbing then. "I'm so sorry, Eoin... I dreamt of you coming back to me, so many times.... I didn't think...." She stopped herself, not really knowing what to say now. She had suffered so much with the thought that he had died... And the fact that he was there, living and breathing, and she could feel him there in her arms.. It made her feel as if she were going crazy. She had finally snapped and gone insane. How was this possible? It was hard to take in after feeling for a year that she had completely lost him. And he had come to her too late. [d]
[EOIN] He really didn't know what else to say. She had wanted to meet with him, and he wasn't sure what else she had left to say to him that she hadn't already written in her letter. In truth, he didn't want her pity or sympathy because it wouldn't change anything. Even though it hurt, he was beginning to understand what had happened and why she had moved on. He really did. But Eoin didn't expect her to rush forward and embrace him, almost how he had imagined it would be upon his initial return. When there was no Tresteria or prince involved. And that was why it nearly killed him now. Even still, his arms moved to wrap around her and he sighed heavily. "I know," he spoke, shutting his eyes briefly. "No one could have known..." He wished there was someone he could blame for it...but there really was nobody. Perhaps only Saelis, and that would not fix any of it. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] When she felt his arms around her, she nearly weakened further, but she held him tightly in that embrace and cried into his chest, her fingers curling against his back. He was alive and here, holding her now. She couldn't get past that. "But we should have..." She finally said, lifting her head to look at him, but she didn't let go of him or pull away from him. Tears streamed freely from her tired eyes. "I should have known. Somehow..." She shook her head. "And I'm sorry I didn't.. I'm sorry I didn't save you... Or send anyone to find you..." She knew what it was like to be a prisoner in Saelis, so she could only imagine what he had been through in the last year, and it made her feel even worse for all of this. She placed a hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes. "I'm so so sorry..." She didn't know what else to say and she began to ramble through her tears. "I was told you died... Here in the forest with the fires... And Orin... found that necklace I had given you.. And after the war ended... Everything was in ruins... There was no way we could recover... And the Tresterian king offered to help if we formed an alliance... If I married his brother... Aric... I thought you were dead, Eoin...I'm so sorry..." [d]
[EOIN] He realized he had stopped breathing, and he still couldn't figure out if he was more sad or simply irritated. That was going to be the very problem now, wasn't it? He wasn't going to know how to feel about anything anymore. Everything was a strange blur. Some of this moment felt as though he had never been taken away...while the rest of it felt strange. Foreign. Wrong. "Really?" he questioned her, even looking down at her with an expression that wondered if she was mad. "And how would you have magically known that?" Why did that somehow agitate him? Perhaps he was still bothered by everything and what had transpired last evening with Nem. Those tears were making him feel as though she was trying to spin the pity party around on herself...and in a situation he couldn't console her in, regardless. Despite her apology, she had made that blatantly clear upon his return. And although he realized he accepted her apology, he wasn't going to forget that anytime soon. He should have brushed her hand away, but he simply stood there now, looking down at her with a look of defeat. "I know. I get it," he added, removing the bite from his tone but now it just sounded flat and lifeless. Tired. Perhaps he needed to be cold to distance himself? Eoin wasn't entirely sure that it would work. "I don't really know what you expect me to say...other than I get it. I have to move on. I get it." I get it, I get it, I get it. Maybe if he said it enough, it would be easier to accept. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] "I don't know... I don't know how I should have known..." She shook her head and slowly let go of him, taking a step back. She could hear the tone of his voice, and it pained her a little, even though she understood it. She looked down at the ground again and shrugged her shoulders. "You don't have to say anything, Eoin... I don't expect you to say anything... I just..." Alexandria didn't know what she wanted to say. She wanted him to understand, which seemingly he did, but why did it not make any of this easier? She looked back at him and wiped the tears from her face, her sleeves slipping down and revealing that bruised ring around her wrist. She was afraid to say anything, because no matter what she said, none of it would matter-- Not with how she acted the previous night. He would only doubt her words, she was sure. Another breathless sigh escaped her and she hesitated with what she wanted to say, despite knowing he might not believe her. "I am glad you are alive... And safe now... " Her expression was genuine, hoping that he would believe her, just by looking into her eyes. She wanted to explain to him why she had hesitated so badly last night, when she should have embraced him--but none of it would matter. Her excuses wouldn't change what had happened. "And I've missed you.. Truly... " She still had feelings for him, because she had never been given the chance to mourn or get over him. And maybe that's what made all of this so difficult. She couldn't tell him these things, how could she? She never expected him to return alive. [d]
[EOIN] He was trying really hard not to be so dismissive and cold. But he was afraid if he wasn't, this all would hurt more. It was a stupid, fine line and he wasn't sure which side to fall on. He actually sighed when she drew back, and his own gaze dropped to the cold earth below them. "I know, Alexandria..." Did he, really? For the most part, yes. Didn't make it easier, wouldn't change anything, but he couldn't fault her for not knowing. To be honest, he didn't believe he was ever going to return. There had come a point where he had wished for death just so he didn't have to worry anymore or struggle or fight. When she told him she had missed him, his gaze was rising back up to her face; lips parting to tell her the same, maybe to tell her more, or maybe not. He didn't really know, but the bruise caught his attention and he was quick to reach for her elbow. "Did he do that to you?!" Well, he was quickly jumping to conclusions real fast. But prince or not, Eoin would kill him. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] She couldn't stop the tears from falling, especially as he seemed dismissive and cold to her, even though she did not fault him for it. It still made none of this easier, and mostly because she was hating herself in the moment, for having been so cold and distant to him. There was so much she wanted to say now, but she felt frozen and unable to speak much, nor did she feel it was the time to berate him with a million questions and thoughts. Before she could say anything, though, he was reaching for her, and grasping onto her elbow. She flinched slightly, that fear rising in her eyes as if Edward had grabbed her again, but Eoin's voice quickly reminded her that it wasn't him. At his question, her brows furrowed in confusion. "Did he do what?" She had nearly forgotten about the marks, until she spotted them, now that Eoin was holding her arm up. She slowly pulled her arm away from him and pulled on her sleeves to cover up both her wrists. "No... Aric did not do that to me, if that is what you are assuming..." She said defensively. But his brother did, and she wasn't sure if that made things sound much better. Edward was gone now, though, and she didn't have to fear him anymore. Her mind wandered, though, on how she would explain it if he pressed further to find out where she had gotten the bruises. Honestly, it was the least of her battle wounds she had received in the last month, nearly almost being assassinated. She sighed and shook her head, wanting to tell him that Aric was actually a good, kind, man and he was not like that at all. That she loved and cared for him. But, she knew it would only hurt him further, as she knew he had come back expecting she hadn't moved on. He had no idea what kind of pain she went through in thinking he was dead. And how she had even held back from Aric for so long, because of him. But what good would any of this do now? All she could do was look at him with that sadness and sorrow in her eyes. Like she was torn-- wanting to reach out to him. To hold him, kiss him... To tell him she never stopped loving him. But she held herself back, because her heart belonged to Aric now. If Eoin had returned a month or two ago-- things may have been different in this moment. [d]
[EOIN] Maybe this meeting was pointless. It really wasn't helping him move on. In fact, he felt like he was in the same exact place he was yesterday, maybe even worse. But did he really expect this situation to get better? He had to distance himself, otherwise he'd never move on. Still, at the idea that this prince had harmed her made him suddenly protective and not thinking straight. When she told him it wasn't Aric, it really did not make things any better. He had to bite his tongue from assuming anything more, but right now, he was wondering if she truly was happy or okay or even safe. Eoin turned away, grinding his teeth in thought. That look in her eyes was confusing him further. "So what then, Alexandria?" he asked, suddenly defeated. "I'm left assuming a lot of things. I don't know which way is up anymore. I don't even know why I'm here anymore. Of course I'm angry-" He paused, turning back around to face her. "Not necessarily at you, because I get it. I wasn't here. I died. You had no choice. But...what do you expect of me? Just tell me, just come out and say it." [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] Her gaze fell back to the ground as he turned away from her. Her hands were still shaking, and she nervously folded them together and held them against her chest. As the questions flowed out of him, she slowly glanced back at him, finding his gaze, but even still, she did not know how to answer him, because she had so many questions of her own. What was he assuming? What was he angry about if not at her? What had happened to him? What did he want, now? She just shook her head, crying more, her voice raising in her own defeat. "I...don't know, Eoin!" Her hands moved to cover her face, unable to speak through her sobs, until she finally lowered her hands and spoke, her voice cracking as she struggled to speak. "Your loyalty? Your friendship? Your help..." She knew it would probably be asking for too much, and she felt foolish the moment she spoke those words. "I.... need...." She hesitated, choking back her tears. "...People I can trust...on my side..." Alexandria was struggling so badly now. "This is your home just as much as it is mine... You are here because you belong... We need you... I need you... And I'm so sorry, Eoin... I do still care for you... My feelings for you never went away..." But he had become a memory to her, and it was such a heartbreaking and surreal feeling that everything she had felt in the past year, the grief, the loss, the pain, should not have happened. [d]
[EOIN] She didn't know? Why did she drag him all the way out here then?! As much as it pained him to see her cry, he couldn't allow himself to feel pity. Sympathy in a way, maybe, but that was it. Because, when push came to shove, he was the one that had completely lost everything. She needed his loyalty, friendship, his help...she always had it, but the problem now was, there was nothing else. He couldn't have her heart, despite what she said. For the briefest seconds, he felt a glimmer of hope rise in his chest when she started to say her feelings never went away, yet he knew she didn't finish that sentence. Slate-grey eyes stared at her, that defeat washing over him all over again. Maybe he knew what she was about to say, but she'd have to say it. He couldn't guess, he couldn't cling to this small bit of hope unless she wanted him to. "But...?" he urged her on quietly. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] She felt her throat closing up on her, making it difficult to swallow--to control her emotions. But..? He was expecting to hear more? What did he wish to hear her say? Alexandria had always, and would always be an honest woman as much as she could be, and she knew he wouldn't want to hear what she was about to say. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, trying to steady herself. Her hands reached up to brush away her tears, though it did little to nothing to keep them away. When she opened her eyes again, she looked at him with a defeated look of sorrow because she didn't wish to hurt him. She had not planned to have to deal with this. Eoin had died. She sighed quietly and whispered her answer, "... But I am married now..." She couldn't bring herself to tell him that she was happy and in love, because it would only hurt him further. But the tone in her voice as she spoke, made it clear that she was an honorable woman and her heart could no longer be his. [d]
[EOIN] She didn't realize that by holding back, she was only going to hurt him more. But I am married now meant nothing to him. Marriage didn't mean shit unless there was love. Marriage didn't mean one could not follow their heart. Had she forgotten that he knew her fairly well? And whereas he understood she would honor those vows no matter what...he knew there was more. He had been able to see it at the reception. It was like a knife in his chest. He had to hear her say it, otherwise he couldn't move on. Eoin stood where he was, grey eyes peering down at her face. There was hardly any emotion on his features because he still didn't know which one to grasp onto. It was best to remain an empty slate. Passive. Unsure. "Do you love him?" There was no bite in his voice, just a need to know. It was not fair to him to have to ask it, but she clearly wasn't going to say anything unless he did. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] It pained her to see that empty, emotionless gaze from him, when there used to be so much life, happiness and love in his eyes. Regardless, she kept her gaze on him as he asked her that question she feared answering. He deserved to know, though, and she knew that. She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath as she slowly nodded. That breath was sighed out of her lips before she spoke. "Yes... I do..." She searched his features, fearing his reaction to her words. But before he could say anything, she was speaking again, "Aric has done so much for Aralore... for me... He is a good man." And if he hadn't taken her from him, she imagined that Aric and Eoin would get along well with one another. But she wasn't about to say that. "I'm so sorry...Eoin..." She did not know what else to say, because none of it would help his heart break, caused by her. "I thought I had lost you forever... My heart was completely broken and lost....For a long time... Aric has been a good friend to me. When I needed one the most..." Her voice trailed off and she looked away from him, whispering, "I'm so sorry.... I didn't know..." [d]
[EOIN] And so, there it was. He expected it to hurt a lot more than it actually did...and maybe it was because he already knew it. He had seen how she clung to the prince, how he had guarded her. He understood it the moment he set foot into the library. 'He is a good man.' Eoin wasn't surprised by that, either. Alexandria wouldn't love anyone that wasn't. His gaze temporarily dropped to the ground again as she continued to speak, but he was gradually and slowly nodding to acknowledge that he was listening to her. "Don't...apologize," he finally managed to say. He was no longer emotionless as the pain was evident in his tone, but he understood. Truly, he did, even if a part of him didn't want to. A soft, visibly cringe to his face, Eoin knelt down to take one of her small hands in between both of his own. "You did not know. I do not blame you..." He bowed his head in a sign of respect, trying to find further words to say. "It is fate, perhaps...fate that has made us walk different paths." The knife in his chest twisted, but what was he to do? Beg? Beg for what? Even as saddened as he was, he would not dare try to lure her away from someone else she clearly loved and made honest vows to. He wasn't that kind of a man. "I am and always will be your friend and faithful servant, my queen. I just...need time." To heal his heart. To be able to see her next to another. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] All of this hurt. She hated that she was breaking his heart.. That pain in his voice made her start crying again, especially as he knelt in front of her and took her hand in his. She looked down at him, her free hand moving to fight to brush away her tears. fate that has made us walk different paths. She had felt that Aric had become her fate, but hearing Eoin mention this, it tore at her heart. Fate was also very cruel-- To cause her to have to go through mourning Eoin, first from his death--and now it felt as if they were breaking up.
When he finished speaking, Alexandria nodded in understanding, and she slowly crouched down to fall at his level. She did not pull her hand away from him, but her free hand touched his face and she urged him to look at her. Her blurred and tearful gaze moved to look into his eyes. "I will always love you, Eoin, and care about you... That will never go away. And your friendship would mean the world to me... But I understand you need time, and I do not blame you at all... Please let me know if there is anything at all I could do for you... Or anything you need." She brushed her thumb against his cheek and leaned forward, kissing his forehead before she whispered. "I am happy you are alive... And if I could go and kill every single person responsible for your capture, I would..." She closed her eyes and embraced him. "I'm so sorry..." She couldn't stop apologizing, because she felt awful for everything he had gone through and was still going through now. Somehow, she felt it had been all of her fault. Maybe if she had done something differently, none of this would have happened. But, fate. [d]
[EOIN] What else was she supposed to do? To hold everything back would only hurt him further in the end. It had been a year. He kept having to silently tell himself that, he kept having to remember that. And that past year had been different for the both of them. Eoin realized it would not be fair to hold that against her, it would not be fair to expect everything to go back to the way it was as she grieved his seeming death and moved on. It was now his turn to do so. He had to let her go. But he was an honorable man. He still loved her and this kingdom, and he would learn to respect her as his friend and queen again. Some day. Somehow. It would not happen overnight, though, he knew this. His eyes only lifted when she knelt down in front of him, and she urged him to with that gentle touch. He sighed softly when she kissed his forehead. It really was over. Strangely enough, as much as it hurt...it was also a relief. Just knowing now where they stood. There couldn't be any possible "what ifs". When she hugged him, he was slow to return it, but inevitably would; sighing again against her shoulder. "I know," he simply said. Eoin didn't know what else to say about any of this. It would be alright. It had to be. The gods helped him survive this ordeal for a reason...he had to believe that. Yes, fate. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] She held him for a while, reluctant to let go of him, in fear that he might quickly disappear from her and all of this would have been a dream. But there he was, in her arms, and she could feel his body against hers, his arms wrapped around her. He was really alive. An embrace she once knew and loved with all of her heart--now felt so foreign and distant. She rested her head on his shoulder and lightly cried against him. Her arms wrapped around him tighter, then. She said nothing, but just simply held him and cried on his shoulder. If only he knew everything she had been through, perhaps her guilt would not hurt as badly. If only he knew how badly she had fought falling in love with Aric. But Aric had made it so difficult to avoid. He was a great man, and they had saved one another from their painful pasts.
After a while, she stopped crying and she reluctantly let go of him, hands lifting to wipe away her tears, and she looked at him with sorrow in her eyes. "Do you have somewhere to stay?" She whispered. Knowing he probably wouldn't want to stay in the castle, her tone made it clear that he would be welcome, anyway, if he wanted to. Alexandria slowly stood back up, pulling him up with her. "I have some things for you..." [d]
[EOIN] He remained there for as long as she wished for it and hadn't complained. Hadn't said a word. There truly was little more he could say, and maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, even if it was hard to kneel there with her in his arms, remembering the scent of her hair, and how she felt in his embrace. In ways, it felt the same...but then it didn't. Like his body knew before his mind that so much time had passed. It was...strange. Still, he ran a hand up and down her back in whatever comfort he could offer before moving away. In a way, he almost felt numb. "Nemeris has...offered me a room to stay in," he finally answered her. The thing was, he wasn't so sure he should go back. For a few reasons now. Eoin knew there was a place for him at the castle...but that certainly would not happen. Probably never again, either. He would follow her in standing up, turning around to study the forest. This section of it hadn't been burned, fortunately. "I was thinking...of building something here. Again." Yes, he had seen the lodges. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself and her composure. A year it had been since she had felt Eoin in her arms--and all of those feelings were coming flooding back to her, regardless if she wanted them to or not. It shook her to her core and there was nothing she could do about it. She loved Aric--she would not break his heart, not after what he had been through in his life, what he had already lost. "Oh..." She responded as he mentioned Nemeris offering him a place to stay. She nodded and forced a smile. "Well, that was nice of her." A bit out of character, but nice, nonetheless. She brushed the front of her dress free of the wrinkles and glanced around the forest as Eoin spoke of wanting to build. She smiled softly and nodded again. "Of course..." She was happy to hear that he was thinking of reestablishing, rather than leaving the kingdom, and with all the damage that had been done, they could use the rebuilding of the lodges. "The forest is yours, Eoin... I renamed it after the Necron clan... It has always been yours... And if you want to lead the rangers again, that is yours, as well..." She took his hand into hers and squeezed it gently, before she let go of it and stepped away, just to go to where her horse was. Pulling a few things out of the saddle bag, she walked back over to where Eoin was and held out his sword that they had also found in the forest. She had saved it to remember him, but he would be needing it back, of course. [d]
[EOIN] He wanted to ignore all of it, but he knew the emotions would linger on and off for awhile. He knew the truth now- it was what he had asked for, was it not? At the mention of Nemeris, he just nodded. Sure, it was nice of her...but he really didn't know what to think about her currently. It had been a really strange situation last night, something he probably shouldn't be thinking about right now while he stood in front of the woman he once called his own. Yes, this was getting really strange. Alexandria telling him that she renamed the forest, however, was enough for him to forget everything else temporarily. "You did...?" For the first time since this little meet up, he actually smiled. It was small, but she would notice it even still. Eoin didn't know how to reply to the rest of it as she was walking back to her horse and retrieving his sword. He was hesitant to take it from her hands before he finally did, drawing the blade halfway out of the scabbard to examine it as if he couldn't believe it. The lodge had been completely destroyed and most of his things destroyed with it. He didn't think he would see this again. "This is..." He paused, the small smile still managing to remain when he looked to her. "Thank you." [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] Sapphire eyes watched him as he examined the sword, her own lips pulling into the faintest of a smile at the sight of his. She nodded, "you're welcome..." Her gaze fell, then, as she pulled out a couple other smaller items from her pocket and held them out to him, fingers uncurling to reveal the engagement ring he had given her, and the necklace he had worn from her. Whether or not he wanted the necklace, she couldn't bring herself to keep it. It was too painful. Not that either of the objects would be less painful for him, but she could not keep them, not since he was alive now. She sighed softly and looked back at him. "I... I'm sorry, but I cannot keep these anymore..." Her eyes started to well up with tears again as she looked at him with a sort of desperation in her gaze, nearly pleading with him to take them from him. [d]
[EOIN] Sheathing the blade fully, his attention dropped to the items in her palm, and almost all emotion melted from his face. He didn't know why he didn't expect to see those again. Maybe they had been lost, long gone, or she had buried them away somewhere never to be seen again. Perhaps he understood why she was giving them back...but what was he supposed to do with them now? "I, um..." Another brief pause, he reluctantly took the ring and necklace from her. "I understand." Things were beginning to feel worse again, and he was desperately trying to cling to the closure he felt just moments ago. What else could he say to this? He just nodded and stashed them away in his own pocket, wondering what on earth he would do with them. Keeping them seemed pointless, and selling them felt wrong. "I hope...you're taking what I said seriously," he finally spoke up, changing the subject. "About Saelis." He tried to meet her gaze again. "I do not know...what exactly they are planning, but they are coming. You might have only weeks, or you might have months...I do not know." A sigh, it was the last thing he had ever wanted to tell her, and certainly the last thing he wanted to discuss now. "I may not be...around for awhile-" Meaning, physically there in her presence or at the castle. "But I will help with what I can." Maybe that was simply his purpose in life now, to help Aralore survive this. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] She felt somewhat relieved, but also saddened as Eoin took the necklace and ring from her. Her eyes remained on the ground, afraid to look at him. She did not want to see the hurt in his eyes. So when he changed the subject, she was grateful for it, despite it being something she did not wish to think or worry about--but it needed to be. She sighed and glanced back at him, finally, nodding. "Of course I am taking it seriously... They already came and tried to assassinate me..." Her hand moved to her side where she had been wounded. But she remembered Eoin had said this was different than what he knew of. She nodded again, forcing a smile. "Thank you... I appreciate your help. I have to leave for a while... To Tresteria..." She hesitated for a moment. "I am leaving Orin in charge until we return." She pinched the bridge of her nose as she closed her eyes in frustration. "The king has died... Here... It... had been a trying couple of days..." Which was apparent in how exhausted she looked. "I have to pay my respects...And help the queen however I may be able to..." It may have seemed foolish to be leaving her kingdom with such a threat looming over them, but it was also dire that she keep good ties to Tresteria so they could keep their alliance and aid. [d]
[EOIN] "The king?" he repeated lightly, a little taken aback. She was speaking of Edward of Tresteria...her husband's brother. It was alarming to say the least, and he instinctively wanted to tell her that leaving Aralore right now was a foolish idea...but then again, he didn't know when Saelis might attack again. And if Tresteria was their only solid ally, this made sense. So, he bit his tongue, and nodded. "Right, of course," he stammered. "I'm...sorry for your loss." Or Aric's, whatever the case. He didn't know the full story and it wasn't his place to know. Eoin already told her that he needed time, and that meant conversations that even friends might have. He couldn't yet. "Let Orin know...that I am at his disposal." As much as he never liked him a whole lot, he had Alexandria's respect, thus he would have Eoin's. "And...be safe..." His eyes found her face again as those last words were whispered. He desperately tried to keep the pain from his face, but fortunately it was just muddled by all the confusion. Again, he would need time to process, to move on, to find his path again. And he couldn't do that with her standing in front of him. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] A slight nod was given to Eoin in response when he questioned the king. Yes, perhaps Alexandria had said those words a bit too casually. Mostly because, well, she didn't like the man. He had done a toll on her and her kingdom. It was a big deal though, because now whomever ruled Tresteria, she would have to work with to keep the alliance going, though she knew she had Aric on her side. She just hoped it wouldn't be him staying to rule the land until his nephew came of age. Her stomach began to twist into knots at the thought of it. "I will..." She whispered back, briefly glancing into his eyes but quickly glancing back to the ground. "And you, as well..." She sighed and moved in closer, embracing him quickly before stepping away. Her voice caught in her throat and tears welled in her eyes again as she nodded, her words cracking a bit as she spoke. "Bye for now, Eoin..." [d]
[EOIN] Maybe one day he would learn of what exactly happened...but not today. They weren't there yet, and maybe it simply wasn't his right to know anymore. And that was okay. Eoin just kept having to tell himself this, remind himself he had to let go. Even though it was extremely difficult to when she embraced him yet again. It was a brief one, but he drew in a deep sigh, only to let it out when she drew back. He'd nod, feeling his heart thundering inside his chest against his will. "Goodbye...Alexandria..." he said quietly. That strange relief was washing over him again as he took a few steps back. It was slowly numbing the pain. [d]
Finally, she stood back up and skimmed the pebble across the water. Unsure of how long she should really wait, she prepared to wait as long as it felt obvious that he wouldn't come. So she moved to sit on a large rock, and she waited, staring off into the waters, watching the ripples move throughout the lake. She was dressed simply in a plain grey dress, her hair was left down and she wore no jewels or crown. Her features looked exhausted and worn out, which certainly reflected how she was feeling from the last few days. [d]
[EOIN] He awoke early and left a note for Nemeris. It was brief, just telling her he had gone to meet the queen, because he didn't know what else to say. He didn't even know whether he should return or not, so he made no mention of anything else, just a quick letter so she knew he hadn't just flat out up and left. Then he took his time heading back into the forest. He rode a little further than he and Nem had yesterday, just to further see the extent of the fire damage before bothering to turn back around...knowing Alexandria would be there. Unless she changed her mind. She would be waiting close to an hour by the time he arrived. He spotted her horse tethered nearby, and he dismounted off of Nomad and allowed him to wander, knowing he would not abandon him. Booted feet were silent upon the forest floor as he wandered closer to the lake, pausing when he spotted her there on the rock. He thought his heart might stop completely, it ached so much. For a long moment, he wondered if this was a good idea, if maybe he should just turn back around...but he knew he would regret it. More than he was going to regret actually speaking with her. So, after another minute of simply standing there watching her, Eoin slowly approached; clearing his throat before addressing her, "Your Majesty..." [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] Despite her nerves, it was peaceful being out there, with nothing but the sounds of the lake and the birds in the trees. Some time had gone by, that she knew simply just sitting there would drive her mad, so she retrieved a journal book and chalk and moved back to her spot on that rock and did some sketches. It had been a while that she did anything like that, and it helped take her mind off of everything and made her calm, strangely. It made the hour wait a bit more tolerable.
She hadn't heard Eoin approach, though, he had always been good at sneaking through the forest and startling her, which is exactly what he did when she heard him clear his throat and speak. Her brightly colored eyes quickly lifted from her drawing and up at him, causing her heart to leap into her throat and she did not notice that she stopped breathing at the sight of him. Was he really alive and there in front of her? It felt so surreal, like something she had dreamt so many times after he had, well, died. Slowly, she stood up, brushing herself off from whatever dirt may have stuck to her from sitting on that rock for so long. Her breath was released quietly, staggering from her lips and she just stared at him for a moment, not knowing what to say. When her voice finally escaped her, it was shaken and quite obvious that she was feeling nervous. "Eoin..." Her eyes were already starting to well up with tears. It pained her maybe just as much as it did him, but perhaps in a completely different way. "Is that really you...?" Her hands were shaking and she tried to calm them by grasping tightly to that book she held onto. [d]
[EOIN] Drawing in a deep, long breath, he let it out as he took only a few steps forward when she turned to face him. He felt like his breath was caught within his chest, that he wouldn't be able to do this all over again. Especially when she was looking at him like that. Eoin's eyes dropped to the ground for a moment as he held his hands out to his sides. "Same as I was last night," he said, trying to keep the bitterness from his tone. Although she had apologized, it still hurt...but he wasn't going to bring it up. He wasn't going to be as cruel as he initially wanted to be. There was no point, and it would just make things worse for him as well. It was instinct for him to immediately go to her side, but...things were different now, were they not? Even if they didn't feel as such for him. He couldn't do it. He couldn't go to her and hold her. He couldn't do anything. The ranger remained where he was. Alexandria had called him here, so he would allow her to speak about whatever it is she desired to. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] Her gaze fell to the ground as he spoke, reminding her of how she had acted last night, and making it obvious that he was hurt by it. She didn't know what she could do or say to make it right-- to fix that. If she could turn back time and change how she had responded to him, she would. Edward had shaken her up to begin with, which hadn't helped with anything. And then to be thrown this surprise--she had been so taken aback.
She sighed quietly, a few tears escaping from her eyelids, and she was afraid to look at him again, afraid to see that hurt in his eyes. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she felt that book slowly slip out of her fingers and drop to the ground. Almost as if her own body betrayed her mind, she was quickly rushing forward towards him and she threw her arms around him. She was nearly sobbing then. "I'm so sorry, Eoin... I dreamt of you coming back to me, so many times.... I didn't think...." She stopped herself, not really knowing what to say now. She had suffered so much with the thought that he had died... And the fact that he was there, living and breathing, and she could feel him there in her arms.. It made her feel as if she were going crazy. She had finally snapped and gone insane. How was this possible? It was hard to take in after feeling for a year that she had completely lost him. And he had come to her too late. [d]
[EOIN] He really didn't know what else to say. She had wanted to meet with him, and he wasn't sure what else she had left to say to him that she hadn't already written in her letter. In truth, he didn't want her pity or sympathy because it wouldn't change anything. Even though it hurt, he was beginning to understand what had happened and why she had moved on. He really did. But Eoin didn't expect her to rush forward and embrace him, almost how he had imagined it would be upon his initial return. When there was no Tresteria or prince involved. And that was why it nearly killed him now. Even still, his arms moved to wrap around her and he sighed heavily. "I know," he spoke, shutting his eyes briefly. "No one could have known..." He wished there was someone he could blame for it...but there really was nobody. Perhaps only Saelis, and that would not fix any of it. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] When she felt his arms around her, she nearly weakened further, but she held him tightly in that embrace and cried into his chest, her fingers curling against his back. He was alive and here, holding her now. She couldn't get past that. "But we should have..." She finally said, lifting her head to look at him, but she didn't let go of him or pull away from him. Tears streamed freely from her tired eyes. "I should have known. Somehow..." She shook her head. "And I'm sorry I didn't.. I'm sorry I didn't save you... Or send anyone to find you..." She knew what it was like to be a prisoner in Saelis, so she could only imagine what he had been through in the last year, and it made her feel even worse for all of this. She placed a hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes. "I'm so so sorry..." She didn't know what else to say and she began to ramble through her tears. "I was told you died... Here in the forest with the fires... And Orin... found that necklace I had given you.. And after the war ended... Everything was in ruins... There was no way we could recover... And the Tresterian king offered to help if we formed an alliance... If I married his brother... Aric... I thought you were dead, Eoin...I'm so sorry..." [d]
[EOIN] He realized he had stopped breathing, and he still couldn't figure out if he was more sad or simply irritated. That was going to be the very problem now, wasn't it? He wasn't going to know how to feel about anything anymore. Everything was a strange blur. Some of this moment felt as though he had never been taken away...while the rest of it felt strange. Foreign. Wrong. "Really?" he questioned her, even looking down at her with an expression that wondered if she was mad. "And how would you have magically known that?" Why did that somehow agitate him? Perhaps he was still bothered by everything and what had transpired last evening with Nem. Those tears were making him feel as though she was trying to spin the pity party around on herself...and in a situation he couldn't console her in, regardless. Despite her apology, she had made that blatantly clear upon his return. And although he realized he accepted her apology, he wasn't going to forget that anytime soon. He should have brushed her hand away, but he simply stood there now, looking down at her with a look of defeat. "I know. I get it," he added, removing the bite from his tone but now it just sounded flat and lifeless. Tired. Perhaps he needed to be cold to distance himself? Eoin wasn't entirely sure that it would work. "I don't really know what you expect me to say...other than I get it. I have to move on. I get it." I get it, I get it, I get it. Maybe if he said it enough, it would be easier to accept. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] "I don't know... I don't know how I should have known..." She shook her head and slowly let go of him, taking a step back. She could hear the tone of his voice, and it pained her a little, even though she understood it. She looked down at the ground again and shrugged her shoulders. "You don't have to say anything, Eoin... I don't expect you to say anything... I just..." Alexandria didn't know what she wanted to say. She wanted him to understand, which seemingly he did, but why did it not make any of this easier? She looked back at him and wiped the tears from her face, her sleeves slipping down and revealing that bruised ring around her wrist. She was afraid to say anything, because no matter what she said, none of it would matter-- Not with how she acted the previous night. He would only doubt her words, she was sure. Another breathless sigh escaped her and she hesitated with what she wanted to say, despite knowing he might not believe her. "I am glad you are alive... And safe now... " Her expression was genuine, hoping that he would believe her, just by looking into her eyes. She wanted to explain to him why she had hesitated so badly last night, when she should have embraced him--but none of it would matter. Her excuses wouldn't change what had happened. "And I've missed you.. Truly... " She still had feelings for him, because she had never been given the chance to mourn or get over him. And maybe that's what made all of this so difficult. She couldn't tell him these things, how could she? She never expected him to return alive. [d]
[EOIN] He was trying really hard not to be so dismissive and cold. But he was afraid if he wasn't, this all would hurt more. It was a stupid, fine line and he wasn't sure which side to fall on. He actually sighed when she drew back, and his own gaze dropped to the cold earth below them. "I know, Alexandria..." Did he, really? For the most part, yes. Didn't make it easier, wouldn't change anything, but he couldn't fault her for not knowing. To be honest, he didn't believe he was ever going to return. There had come a point where he had wished for death just so he didn't have to worry anymore or struggle or fight. When she told him she had missed him, his gaze was rising back up to her face; lips parting to tell her the same, maybe to tell her more, or maybe not. He didn't really know, but the bruise caught his attention and he was quick to reach for her elbow. "Did he do that to you?!" Well, he was quickly jumping to conclusions real fast. But prince or not, Eoin would kill him. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] She couldn't stop the tears from falling, especially as he seemed dismissive and cold to her, even though she did not fault him for it. It still made none of this easier, and mostly because she was hating herself in the moment, for having been so cold and distant to him. There was so much she wanted to say now, but she felt frozen and unable to speak much, nor did she feel it was the time to berate him with a million questions and thoughts. Before she could say anything, though, he was reaching for her, and grasping onto her elbow. She flinched slightly, that fear rising in her eyes as if Edward had grabbed her again, but Eoin's voice quickly reminded her that it wasn't him. At his question, her brows furrowed in confusion. "Did he do what?" She had nearly forgotten about the marks, until she spotted them, now that Eoin was holding her arm up. She slowly pulled her arm away from him and pulled on her sleeves to cover up both her wrists. "No... Aric did not do that to me, if that is what you are assuming..." She said defensively. But his brother did, and she wasn't sure if that made things sound much better. Edward was gone now, though, and she didn't have to fear him anymore. Her mind wandered, though, on how she would explain it if he pressed further to find out where she had gotten the bruises. Honestly, it was the least of her battle wounds she had received in the last month, nearly almost being assassinated. She sighed and shook her head, wanting to tell him that Aric was actually a good, kind, man and he was not like that at all. That she loved and cared for him. But, she knew it would only hurt him further, as she knew he had come back expecting she hadn't moved on. He had no idea what kind of pain she went through in thinking he was dead. And how she had even held back from Aric for so long, because of him. But what good would any of this do now? All she could do was look at him with that sadness and sorrow in her eyes. Like she was torn-- wanting to reach out to him. To hold him, kiss him... To tell him she never stopped loving him. But she held herself back, because her heart belonged to Aric now. If Eoin had returned a month or two ago-- things may have been different in this moment. [d]
[EOIN] Maybe this meeting was pointless. It really wasn't helping him move on. In fact, he felt like he was in the same exact place he was yesterday, maybe even worse. But did he really expect this situation to get better? He had to distance himself, otherwise he'd never move on. Still, at the idea that this prince had harmed her made him suddenly protective and not thinking straight. When she told him it wasn't Aric, it really did not make things any better. He had to bite his tongue from assuming anything more, but right now, he was wondering if she truly was happy or okay or even safe. Eoin turned away, grinding his teeth in thought. That look in her eyes was confusing him further. "So what then, Alexandria?" he asked, suddenly defeated. "I'm left assuming a lot of things. I don't know which way is up anymore. I don't even know why I'm here anymore. Of course I'm angry-" He paused, turning back around to face her. "Not necessarily at you, because I get it. I wasn't here. I died. You had no choice. But...what do you expect of me? Just tell me, just come out and say it." [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] Her gaze fell back to the ground as he turned away from her. Her hands were still shaking, and she nervously folded them together and held them against her chest. As the questions flowed out of him, she slowly glanced back at him, finding his gaze, but even still, she did not know how to answer him, because she had so many questions of her own. What was he assuming? What was he angry about if not at her? What had happened to him? What did he want, now? She just shook her head, crying more, her voice raising in her own defeat. "I...don't know, Eoin!" Her hands moved to cover her face, unable to speak through her sobs, until she finally lowered her hands and spoke, her voice cracking as she struggled to speak. "Your loyalty? Your friendship? Your help..." She knew it would probably be asking for too much, and she felt foolish the moment she spoke those words. "I.... need...." She hesitated, choking back her tears. "...People I can trust...on my side..." Alexandria was struggling so badly now. "This is your home just as much as it is mine... You are here because you belong... We need you... I need you... And I'm so sorry, Eoin... I do still care for you... My feelings for you never went away..." But he had become a memory to her, and it was such a heartbreaking and surreal feeling that everything she had felt in the past year, the grief, the loss, the pain, should not have happened. [d]
[EOIN] She didn't know? Why did she drag him all the way out here then?! As much as it pained him to see her cry, he couldn't allow himself to feel pity. Sympathy in a way, maybe, but that was it. Because, when push came to shove, he was the one that had completely lost everything. She needed his loyalty, friendship, his help...she always had it, but the problem now was, there was nothing else. He couldn't have her heart, despite what she said. For the briefest seconds, he felt a glimmer of hope rise in his chest when she started to say her feelings never went away, yet he knew she didn't finish that sentence. Slate-grey eyes stared at her, that defeat washing over him all over again. Maybe he knew what she was about to say, but she'd have to say it. He couldn't guess, he couldn't cling to this small bit of hope unless she wanted him to. "But...?" he urged her on quietly. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] She felt her throat closing up on her, making it difficult to swallow--to control her emotions. But..? He was expecting to hear more? What did he wish to hear her say? Alexandria had always, and would always be an honest woman as much as she could be, and she knew he wouldn't want to hear what she was about to say. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, trying to steady herself. Her hands reached up to brush away her tears, though it did little to nothing to keep them away. When she opened her eyes again, she looked at him with a defeated look of sorrow because she didn't wish to hurt him. She had not planned to have to deal with this. Eoin had died. She sighed quietly and whispered her answer, "... But I am married now..." She couldn't bring herself to tell him that she was happy and in love, because it would only hurt him further. But the tone in her voice as she spoke, made it clear that she was an honorable woman and her heart could no longer be his. [d]
[EOIN] She didn't realize that by holding back, she was only going to hurt him more. But I am married now meant nothing to him. Marriage didn't mean shit unless there was love. Marriage didn't mean one could not follow their heart. Had she forgotten that he knew her fairly well? And whereas he understood she would honor those vows no matter what...he knew there was more. He had been able to see it at the reception. It was like a knife in his chest. He had to hear her say it, otherwise he couldn't move on. Eoin stood where he was, grey eyes peering down at her face. There was hardly any emotion on his features because he still didn't know which one to grasp onto. It was best to remain an empty slate. Passive. Unsure. "Do you love him?" There was no bite in his voice, just a need to know. It was not fair to him to have to ask it, but she clearly wasn't going to say anything unless he did. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] It pained her to see that empty, emotionless gaze from him, when there used to be so much life, happiness and love in his eyes. Regardless, she kept her gaze on him as he asked her that question she feared answering. He deserved to know, though, and she knew that. She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath as she slowly nodded. That breath was sighed out of her lips before she spoke. "Yes... I do..." She searched his features, fearing his reaction to her words. But before he could say anything, she was speaking again, "Aric has done so much for Aralore... for me... He is a good man." And if he hadn't taken her from him, she imagined that Aric and Eoin would get along well with one another. But she wasn't about to say that. "I'm so sorry...Eoin..." She did not know what else to say, because none of it would help his heart break, caused by her. "I thought I had lost you forever... My heart was completely broken and lost....For a long time... Aric has been a good friend to me. When I needed one the most..." Her voice trailed off and she looked away from him, whispering, "I'm so sorry.... I didn't know..." [d]
[EOIN] And so, there it was. He expected it to hurt a lot more than it actually did...and maybe it was because he already knew it. He had seen how she clung to the prince, how he had guarded her. He understood it the moment he set foot into the library. 'He is a good man.' Eoin wasn't surprised by that, either. Alexandria wouldn't love anyone that wasn't. His gaze temporarily dropped to the ground again as she continued to speak, but he was gradually and slowly nodding to acknowledge that he was listening to her. "Don't...apologize," he finally managed to say. He was no longer emotionless as the pain was evident in his tone, but he understood. Truly, he did, even if a part of him didn't want to. A soft, visibly cringe to his face, Eoin knelt down to take one of her small hands in between both of his own. "You did not know. I do not blame you..." He bowed his head in a sign of respect, trying to find further words to say. "It is fate, perhaps...fate that has made us walk different paths." The knife in his chest twisted, but what was he to do? Beg? Beg for what? Even as saddened as he was, he would not dare try to lure her away from someone else she clearly loved and made honest vows to. He wasn't that kind of a man. "I am and always will be your friend and faithful servant, my queen. I just...need time." To heal his heart. To be able to see her next to another. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] All of this hurt. She hated that she was breaking his heart.. That pain in his voice made her start crying again, especially as he knelt in front of her and took her hand in his. She looked down at him, her free hand moving to fight to brush away her tears. fate that has made us walk different paths. She had felt that Aric had become her fate, but hearing Eoin mention this, it tore at her heart. Fate was also very cruel-- To cause her to have to go through mourning Eoin, first from his death--and now it felt as if they were breaking up.
When he finished speaking, Alexandria nodded in understanding, and she slowly crouched down to fall at his level. She did not pull her hand away from him, but her free hand touched his face and she urged him to look at her. Her blurred and tearful gaze moved to look into his eyes. "I will always love you, Eoin, and care about you... That will never go away. And your friendship would mean the world to me... But I understand you need time, and I do not blame you at all... Please let me know if there is anything at all I could do for you... Or anything you need." She brushed her thumb against his cheek and leaned forward, kissing his forehead before she whispered. "I am happy you are alive... And if I could go and kill every single person responsible for your capture, I would..." She closed her eyes and embraced him. "I'm so sorry..." She couldn't stop apologizing, because she felt awful for everything he had gone through and was still going through now. Somehow, she felt it had been all of her fault. Maybe if she had done something differently, none of this would have happened. But, fate. [d]
[EOIN] What else was she supposed to do? To hold everything back would only hurt him further in the end. It had been a year. He kept having to silently tell himself that, he kept having to remember that. And that past year had been different for the both of them. Eoin realized it would not be fair to hold that against her, it would not be fair to expect everything to go back to the way it was as she grieved his seeming death and moved on. It was now his turn to do so. He had to let her go. But he was an honorable man. He still loved her and this kingdom, and he would learn to respect her as his friend and queen again. Some day. Somehow. It would not happen overnight, though, he knew this. His eyes only lifted when she knelt down in front of him, and she urged him to with that gentle touch. He sighed softly when she kissed his forehead. It really was over. Strangely enough, as much as it hurt...it was also a relief. Just knowing now where they stood. There couldn't be any possible "what ifs". When she hugged him, he was slow to return it, but inevitably would; sighing again against her shoulder. "I know," he simply said. Eoin didn't know what else to say about any of this. It would be alright. It had to be. The gods helped him survive this ordeal for a reason...he had to believe that. Yes, fate. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] She held him for a while, reluctant to let go of him, in fear that he might quickly disappear from her and all of this would have been a dream. But there he was, in her arms, and she could feel his body against hers, his arms wrapped around her. He was really alive. An embrace she once knew and loved with all of her heart--now felt so foreign and distant. She rested her head on his shoulder and lightly cried against him. Her arms wrapped around him tighter, then. She said nothing, but just simply held him and cried on his shoulder. If only he knew everything she had been through, perhaps her guilt would not hurt as badly. If only he knew how badly she had fought falling in love with Aric. But Aric had made it so difficult to avoid. He was a great man, and they had saved one another from their painful pasts.
After a while, she stopped crying and she reluctantly let go of him, hands lifting to wipe away her tears, and she looked at him with sorrow in her eyes. "Do you have somewhere to stay?" She whispered. Knowing he probably wouldn't want to stay in the castle, her tone made it clear that he would be welcome, anyway, if he wanted to. Alexandria slowly stood back up, pulling him up with her. "I have some things for you..." [d]
[EOIN] He remained there for as long as she wished for it and hadn't complained. Hadn't said a word. There truly was little more he could say, and maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, even if it was hard to kneel there with her in his arms, remembering the scent of her hair, and how she felt in his embrace. In ways, it felt the same...but then it didn't. Like his body knew before his mind that so much time had passed. It was...strange. Still, he ran a hand up and down her back in whatever comfort he could offer before moving away. In a way, he almost felt numb. "Nemeris has...offered me a room to stay in," he finally answered her. The thing was, he wasn't so sure he should go back. For a few reasons now. Eoin knew there was a place for him at the castle...but that certainly would not happen. Probably never again, either. He would follow her in standing up, turning around to study the forest. This section of it hadn't been burned, fortunately. "I was thinking...of building something here. Again." Yes, he had seen the lodges. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself and her composure. A year it had been since she had felt Eoin in her arms--and all of those feelings were coming flooding back to her, regardless if she wanted them to or not. It shook her to her core and there was nothing she could do about it. She loved Aric--she would not break his heart, not after what he had been through in his life, what he had already lost. "Oh..." She responded as he mentioned Nemeris offering him a place to stay. She nodded and forced a smile. "Well, that was nice of her." A bit out of character, but nice, nonetheless. She brushed the front of her dress free of the wrinkles and glanced around the forest as Eoin spoke of wanting to build. She smiled softly and nodded again. "Of course..." She was happy to hear that he was thinking of reestablishing, rather than leaving the kingdom, and with all the damage that had been done, they could use the rebuilding of the lodges. "The forest is yours, Eoin... I renamed it after the Necron clan... It has always been yours... And if you want to lead the rangers again, that is yours, as well..." She took his hand into hers and squeezed it gently, before she let go of it and stepped away, just to go to where her horse was. Pulling a few things out of the saddle bag, she walked back over to where Eoin was and held out his sword that they had also found in the forest. She had saved it to remember him, but he would be needing it back, of course. [d]
[EOIN] He wanted to ignore all of it, but he knew the emotions would linger on and off for awhile. He knew the truth now- it was what he had asked for, was it not? At the mention of Nemeris, he just nodded. Sure, it was nice of her...but he really didn't know what to think about her currently. It had been a really strange situation last night, something he probably shouldn't be thinking about right now while he stood in front of the woman he once called his own. Yes, this was getting really strange. Alexandria telling him that she renamed the forest, however, was enough for him to forget everything else temporarily. "You did...?" For the first time since this little meet up, he actually smiled. It was small, but she would notice it even still. Eoin didn't know how to reply to the rest of it as she was walking back to her horse and retrieving his sword. He was hesitant to take it from her hands before he finally did, drawing the blade halfway out of the scabbard to examine it as if he couldn't believe it. The lodge had been completely destroyed and most of his things destroyed with it. He didn't think he would see this again. "This is..." He paused, the small smile still managing to remain when he looked to her. "Thank you." [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] Sapphire eyes watched him as he examined the sword, her own lips pulling into the faintest of a smile at the sight of his. She nodded, "you're welcome..." Her gaze fell, then, as she pulled out a couple other smaller items from her pocket and held them out to him, fingers uncurling to reveal the engagement ring he had given her, and the necklace he had worn from her. Whether or not he wanted the necklace, she couldn't bring herself to keep it. It was too painful. Not that either of the objects would be less painful for him, but she could not keep them, not since he was alive now. She sighed softly and looked back at him. "I... I'm sorry, but I cannot keep these anymore..." Her eyes started to well up with tears again as she looked at him with a sort of desperation in her gaze, nearly pleading with him to take them from him. [d]
[EOIN] Sheathing the blade fully, his attention dropped to the items in her palm, and almost all emotion melted from his face. He didn't know why he didn't expect to see those again. Maybe they had been lost, long gone, or she had buried them away somewhere never to be seen again. Perhaps he understood why she was giving them back...but what was he supposed to do with them now? "I, um..." Another brief pause, he reluctantly took the ring and necklace from her. "I understand." Things were beginning to feel worse again, and he was desperately trying to cling to the closure he felt just moments ago. What else could he say to this? He just nodded and stashed them away in his own pocket, wondering what on earth he would do with them. Keeping them seemed pointless, and selling them felt wrong. "I hope...you're taking what I said seriously," he finally spoke up, changing the subject. "About Saelis." He tried to meet her gaze again. "I do not know...what exactly they are planning, but they are coming. You might have only weeks, or you might have months...I do not know." A sigh, it was the last thing he had ever wanted to tell her, and certainly the last thing he wanted to discuss now. "I may not be...around for awhile-" Meaning, physically there in her presence or at the castle. "But I will help with what I can." Maybe that was simply his purpose in life now, to help Aralore survive this. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] She felt somewhat relieved, but also saddened as Eoin took the necklace and ring from her. Her eyes remained on the ground, afraid to look at him. She did not want to see the hurt in his eyes. So when he changed the subject, she was grateful for it, despite it being something she did not wish to think or worry about--but it needed to be. She sighed and glanced back at him, finally, nodding. "Of course I am taking it seriously... They already came and tried to assassinate me..." Her hand moved to her side where she had been wounded. But she remembered Eoin had said this was different than what he knew of. She nodded again, forcing a smile. "Thank you... I appreciate your help. I have to leave for a while... To Tresteria..." She hesitated for a moment. "I am leaving Orin in charge until we return." She pinched the bridge of her nose as she closed her eyes in frustration. "The king has died... Here... It... had been a trying couple of days..." Which was apparent in how exhausted she looked. "I have to pay my respects...And help the queen however I may be able to..." It may have seemed foolish to be leaving her kingdom with such a threat looming over them, but it was also dire that she keep good ties to Tresteria so they could keep their alliance and aid. [d]
[EOIN] "The king?" he repeated lightly, a little taken aback. She was speaking of Edward of Tresteria...her husband's brother. It was alarming to say the least, and he instinctively wanted to tell her that leaving Aralore right now was a foolish idea...but then again, he didn't know when Saelis might attack again. And if Tresteria was their only solid ally, this made sense. So, he bit his tongue, and nodded. "Right, of course," he stammered. "I'm...sorry for your loss." Or Aric's, whatever the case. He didn't know the full story and it wasn't his place to know. Eoin already told her that he needed time, and that meant conversations that even friends might have. He couldn't yet. "Let Orin know...that I am at his disposal." As much as he never liked him a whole lot, he had Alexandria's respect, thus he would have Eoin's. "And...be safe..." His eyes found her face again as those last words were whispered. He desperately tried to keep the pain from his face, but fortunately it was just muddled by all the confusion. Again, he would need time to process, to move on, to find his path again. And he couldn't do that with her standing in front of him. [d]
[ALEXANDRIA] A slight nod was given to Eoin in response when he questioned the king. Yes, perhaps Alexandria had said those words a bit too casually. Mostly because, well, she didn't like the man. He had done a toll on her and her kingdom. It was a big deal though, because now whomever ruled Tresteria, she would have to work with to keep the alliance going, though she knew she had Aric on her side. She just hoped it wouldn't be him staying to rule the land until his nephew came of age. Her stomach began to twist into knots at the thought of it. "I will..." She whispered back, briefly glancing into his eyes but quickly glancing back to the ground. "And you, as well..." She sighed and moved in closer, embracing him quickly before stepping away. Her voice caught in her throat and tears welled in her eyes again as she nodded, her words cracking a bit as she spoke. "Bye for now, Eoin..." [d]
[EOIN] Maybe one day he would learn of what exactly happened...but not today. They weren't there yet, and maybe it simply wasn't his right to know anymore. And that was okay. Eoin just kept having to tell himself this, remind himself he had to let go. Even though it was extremely difficult to when she embraced him yet again. It was a brief one, but he drew in a deep sigh, only to let it out when she drew back. He'd nod, feeling his heart thundering inside his chest against his will. "Goodbye...Alexandria..." he said quietly. That strange relief was washing over him again as he took a few steps back. It was slowly numbing the pain. [d]
