Back from the Dead

[Nemeris Arundel]

[NEMERIS] She quietly led Eoin out of the castle and into the cold night air. Pulling her shawl tightly around herself to try and block out the cold, she turned to him. "Do you want to walk, or take a carriage?" He was probably exhausted, she could see it in his eyes, so the carriages were readily available since others had traveled from around the isle to the castle for the wedding. Or perhaps the air would do him good. It wasn't a long walk, regardless. So she took hold of his arm and led him down the path away from the castle and towards the White shore, where her manor resided. She sighed quietly and spoke as they walked. "You were always there for me during my times of need... Even when I tried to push you out, push you away... You never gave up on me, as so many others have... So I'm here to return that favor... You are a good friend to me... I will try to be a good friend to you." It was true, Nemeris wasn't always a pleasant person to be around. She was dark and reserved and no one typically gave her the time of day, and she was mostly alright with that. She smirked at her last comment, knowing Eoin would know friendship and kindness were not her strongest attributes. But as she said, she would try. When they arrived at her manor, she unlocked the door and opened it, allowing him to enter. "Can I get you anything? Food? Something to drink?" From the looks of him, he looked like he hadn't eaten or slept in days. Her bluish-grey eyes studied him for a moment, as if trying to look through him. [d]

[EOIN] Feet just automatically moved, even if his heart was trying to pull him backwards, straight into the castle again. Perhaps it was only Nemeris steering him gently by the arm that kept him moving forward. He barely registered any of it, and he couldn't blame that all on the exhaustion that was quickly consuming him. It was emotional pain that he didn't know how to heal. Her words were gently urging him out of those heavy thoughts and he looked sidelong to her briefly; a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. He knew she would try, but she had already done so much to prove she was capable. "You are, Nemeris," he said after a moment. "You...were the only one that didn't look at me like...some intruder, an animal. You didn't repel from me..." That was what probably hurt the most, he realized. Alexandria had only looked at him with shock and then pity...and not once with an ounce of happiness to know he lived. He had intruded on her wedding- yes, it was clear now. His eyes had been blind to the obvious, only desiring to see her, but all the little details of the evening were flooding back to him like a tidal wave, threatening to crush him against the rocks below. As they entered the manor, he stood there at a loss of what to do. "Something strong." Too tired to sleep and he didn't seem to care about food at the moment. But liquor would help with everything. [d]

[NEMERIS] Her lips pulled into a frown as Eoin mentioned that she had been the only one who hadn't repelled from him. "You died Eoin.... Everyone thought you died. How do you expect them to react?" She led him into a type of sitting room and urged him to sit, before she walked away to fetch him something to drink. And eat.
After a moment, she returned with a glass of wine. (It was all she really had at the moment), and a plate of bread and cheeses. She set them down on the table in front of him before she sat across from him.
"A lot has happened since you've been gone. You have no idea how badly she mourned for you... We all did... And for you to come back alive.... Well, it's a huge shock...The dead coming back to life... It's a lot to take in. Especially, when you've just gotten married..." She sighed softly, taking a sip from her own glass of wine. Her words, probably and finally confirming what he was fearing. "You have horrible timing..." She smirked slightly and shook her head. [d]

[EOIN] Her words did little to comfort him. It didn't matter that he died...because, when it all boiled down, he had been the one to suffer the most. Not just emotionally, but physically. To see the woman you loved stare at you like that, and not once try to comfort you except for some apology that turned the pity upon her, well...it was going to make him bitter. Something he was quickly beginning to realize as he was led to the parlor to sit. Eoin didn't voice it, though, as she walked away, leaving him there in the darkness...like he had been for an entire year. He supposed he should be used to it by now. Upon her return, he didn't even look at her. He didn't even reach for the wine or food because he just felt frozen. Even while she spoke and tried to explain, even attempting a bit of humor, he didn't acknowledge her until his gray eyes slid sidelong to her after a moment. "Sorry to have been such an inconvenience..." Because that's what he felt like now. "I suppose I should've just died then." His tone was angry now, not seeking any pity. Not that he thought he'd get it from Nemeris even if he wanted it. [d]

[NEMERIS] Brows furrowed as Eoin just sat there, foolishly apologizing for his inconvenience and then suggesting he should have died. She stood up and moved to sit next to him. "Stop that, Eoin." No, she did not ever give pity, whether or not it was wanted. She had been through her fair share of hardships in her life, and she hated the pity that others tried giving her. Perhaps it was why she was so cold and distant-- it made people not feel bad for her. She reached for his hand and took it into both of hers. "You're alive and that's what matters. You are here now for a purpose. If Saelis is to bring another war to us... We need you..." She frowned and squeezed his hand. "Give it some time...Let the initial shock of everything die down. We all just saw a ghost return from the dead..." She nudged him slightly. "I am just used to that more than others are..." She smirked, knowing he knew of her abilities to see things, to hear things. [d]

[EOIN] It didn't help that his tiredness was seeping through and making his mood even worse. But he knew if he tried to sleep now, all of these thoughts would keep him up for the rest of the night. At least, for now, Nemeris could brutally talk some sense into him if he needed it. But she was right. He needed to give them time, Alexandria especially...but it still wouldn't solve the ache of his heart. With her morbid, yet light-hearted comment, he drifted his eyes back over to her; a smirk of his own trying to form on his lips but it was still barely there. "Is she...happy?" Maybe not literally right now, but he wasn't asking about that. [d]

[NEMERIS] She had a feeling this question would come, and she frowned, looking at him with a serious expression. "Do you really want the answer to that, Eoin?" She studied his features before she continued. "If I say no... It will only anger your further that she has allowed herself to fall into a forced marriage. Maybe to help get over you. Maybe because she felt she'd never love again and what was the point?" Her words were truthful, knowing the queen had initially gone into this arrangement, not just because they needed Tresteria, but because she had been so heartbroken, it didn't even matter where her heart went then. "Or you could be happy of her misery, because they would mean you may have a chance to win her back..." She cleared her throat. "Or...." She paused, looking to him. "I tell you she is happy, and that breaks your heart even further..." Her hand moved to rest on his shoulder. "So, do you really want the answer?" [d]

[EOIN] He shifted in his seat, resting his elbow upon the armrest as his head fell into his hand. The weariness was beginning to cause a headache, and Nem's talking around the very simple question was about to make it worse. Although she made good points, it was still annoying him. Maybe because he didn't know which one he was hoping to hear. He didn't know how to answer her right away. "Just tell me," he finally said, his voice low and stern. What if Alexandria was happy? Of course it would further this heartache, but knowing this marriage had been arranged to begin with, it would at least ease the worry. It would let him know that she was okay, that he hadn't inadvertently hurt her irrevocably. Although time blurred for him, he was told it had been a year...and that was a long time. Eoin wanted to be angry about it, but there was no point. [d]

[NEMERIS] Blue-grey eyes watched Eoin as he leaned against the arm of the couch, seemingly conflicted by what he wanted to hear. When he was demanding her tell him, she sighed. "I think she is happy. Wasn't at first. It was an arranged marriage to gain alliance with Tresteria. We all tried talking her out of it, but I think she was lost in her grief, and defeated from the war." She was honest with Eoin. They had all been through so much after his disappearance. Including herself. [d]

[EOIN] "You think?" He didn't mean to have a tone, but how did she not know? Was she hiding away in this manor still? A huffing sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose as if that would alleviate all this physical and emotional pain. But, the more he thought back on it, the way Alexandria had clung to the man, refusing to leave, whimpering his name...Eoin knew. There was a love there no matter how much he tried to deny it. Still, he didn't know this Aric, and it made him wary. Another sigh, he slouched, resting his head against the back of the couch. "So this is it then...I just fade into the background once more." His purpose had been to warn the kingdom, to protect...but it was also Alexandria. [d]

[NEMERIS] Yes she was still hiding away in this manor, still. And why not? She did not feel she belonged here, even with her title as ambassador. Her heart wasn't in it anymore. Brennus had died, she lost her baby. She missed home and her son, but knew she could never return. So she wallowed in her darkness and loneliness, as if that was her life--only emerging when someone needed her to make an appearance. No one bothered to check in on her--to ask how she was doing. Though, she couldn't blame them with all that was to be done after the war. She had only heard rumors, only saw at the banquet how Aric stood by the queen, how he had held her when she was struck down. It's all she had to go by. But she didn't answer his question, because Eoin was speaking again about fading into the background. She understood though, because that was as her life was. In the background.
Her shoulders lifted in a small shrug. "If that is what you wish to do... Only you can decide that. But you are here, and there is another war upon us. If you care anything about her or this kingdom... You don't seem like the type who should be hiding in the background..." [d]

[EOIN] The pain in his heart was slowly ebbing away. Although, he knew it would only return the moment he saw her again. And he would simply have to push on from it. He just wondered how much of a struggle that would be, or if he would become completely numb to it all and seemingly not care anymore. Perhaps he should take a page out of Nemeris' book- this is what she seemed to do best. His head lolled to the side so that he could look at her. She hadn't changed much in this last year, had she? Listening to her speak, he held himself back from sighing. "And is that what you've still decided to do?" The answer was clear, but he was still asking. [d]

[NEMERIS] Yes, Nemeris had no emotion--no feelings. That was what everyone thought, wasn't it? Or perhaps she had just gotten so good at masking that nothing bothered her. At his question, she raised a brow. Did he really need to ask her this? She laughed, a sarcastic laugh. "Of course I have... What else is there for me to do?" Her shoulders lifted in a shrug and she brought her glass of wine to her lips, sipping it as she fell quiet. If Alexandria hadn't insisted on her remaining Aralore's ambassador, she probably would be worse off and more closed off than she already was. [d]

[EOIN] There it was. The very obvious answer that, no, she really didn't have to share. Because he already knew it. He watched as she tried shrugging it off, and he couldn't help but wonder if she was truly alright with it. Being alone. Having people not care because she didn't...or she pretended not to. "And does that make you happy?" he asked. "Locking yourself away from the world." It didn't sound like a happy existence, but maybe she knew a secret that he didn't. [d]

[NEMERIS] She laughed again at his question and shook her head. "Happiness? What is that, anyway?" She sipped her wine again before speaking. "It keeps me safe..." Safe from what? Many things. Mostly it kept her from safe from anymore heartache and disappointment in life. She knew what she could expect every day when she remained here, alone. [d]

[EOIN] When she questioned what happiness was, he actually tiredly grinned and shrugged a shoulder. He clearly didn't know what happiness was anymore than she did, obviously. But when she elaborated, his eyes narrowed in soft curiosity as he lifted his head up to look at her; brows furrowing, wondering if he should even ask. But it was a night to be very honest, it seemed. "Safe from what?" Was she in danger from something he did not know of? Had he missed more things in this year he had been gone? [d]

[NEMERIS] Another, almost nervous laugh, escaped her and she waved her hand. "Nothing... Just in general..." She shrugged her shoulders, trying to pass it off. It wasn't a big deal, especially not now with all he had dealt with and come back to. So she quickly shifted the subject back off of her and onto him. "They found the necklace you used to wear, from Alexandria, in the woods... The ground all around it was completely charred from fire. It's why they presumed you died... You burned to death." She explained to him, figuring he'd want to know why they all thought he died and why no one came to look for him. "I..." She paused, hesitating as if she were upset about something. "I could not see anything... I had no visions or indication that you were alive... Otherwise, I would have fought to get someone to come find you..." She wrinkled her nose as if fighting back the tears that were welling up in her eyes. "I'm sorry you were trapped there for so long and no one came for you..." [d]

[EOIN] He didn't believe her, but he knew when to not push. That, and maybe he was too tired to be a little extra aggressive about it right now. Didn't mean he wouldn't bring it up at a later time, when his mind could wrap around more than one thing at once. She was explaining the reason why he was presumed dead. Gray eyes drifted away from her to focus on nothing in particular while one of his hands rose to brush fingers across his chest where that pendant used to rest. When he had lost it, the absence of it haunted him until it finally ebbed away. Now, there was nothing but a healing wound across his chest from this escape. When he voice faltered, though, and he sensed the sadness she was fighting to hold back, Eoin finally looked back to her. "It's no one's fault..." he said quietly. All he wanted to do was find someone to blame, because then maybe all the pain and horrors he had endured would be go away. Leaning forward, he was running both his hands down his face before elbows rested on his knees, his back hunched tiredly. "I...don't even know how I'm here in one piece," he finally confessed, a haunted look crossing his features. "They tried...everything they could think of...to get me to talk..." His attention drifted over to her in worry. "They're searching for something, Nemeris, and I don't know what. They thought I had the answers..." [d]

[NEMERIS] It may not have been anyone's fault, but it didn't change the fact that she felt horrible for him and whatever he had gone through. And her visions seemed to be failing her lately. Since the whole war... And she didn't know why. It didn't make sense to her.
When Eoin spoke again, she raised a brow, looking to him curiously as he continued, explaining he had perhaps been tortured for something. "Searching for something?" Her brows furrowed. "Like what? What were they asking you?" [d]

[EOIN] The pain was still there, ingrained his memories. He remember the last nightmare he had and he nearly skewered the poor farmer on accident who had been tending to him after his escape. A hand rubbed at his chest again, at his injury before his eyes dropped to his wrists. He drew back one of his sleeves to examine the red, raw ring in the dim lighting. "That's the thing, Nem...I don't think even Saelis knew." Looking sidelong to her, he was completely confused. "They think Aralore has something, and whatever it is...it's big or strong enough for them to build an entire army for..." He shook his head, trying to remember anything else but his mind was so foggy. "A weapon, perhaps..." But last he checked, and that was over a year ago, Aralore had no such thing. Nothing that would warrant a full out war. [d]

[NEMERIS] Her own eyes followed Eoin's as he examined the red ring around his wrist, and she frowned. At his explanation, a confused expression played along her features. As far as she knew, they didn't have anything worth starting a war over. "What made them think something like that?" Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to think of something they could have that would cause a war, but she was drawing a blank. She noticed the pain Eoin wore in his eyes as he looked at his wounds. Carefully, she reached her hand out and took his hand into her own. "You're safe now...." She reminded him. [d]

[EOIN] "I don't know..." he whispered, as if he spoke any louder, Saelis would hear him. "But they thought I did...which is why I'm still alive." It had taken him many nights to be able to sleep properly since his escape, as few days as that had been...but even still, it wasn't normal sleep. He didn't rest well. Every time he was in the dark, he just imagined those damp, cold stone walls and the sound of dripping water that eventually made his eye twitch. Sometimes, he swore he still heard it. Eoin had drifted back into those heavy memories, beginning to forget where he was again...so when she reached out to take his hand, he actually flinched, moving so that he was now grabbing hers instead; his other hand going to the sheathed knife at his side. He realized where he was before he could withdraw it, but there was a new strangeness in his gaze when it had flickered to her during his startle. You're safe now... He felt his heart was beating too quickly again and tried to ease the tension in his spine. "I'm sorry..." he apologized quickly. [d]

[NEMERIS] She should have known better than to try and touch a man who had been through a traumatizing experience. Eyes widened as Eoin grabbed her wrist and went for the knife at his side. She noticed the difference in his gaze, and she frowned. His lack of sleep most likely wasn't helping, and she decided she would slip him something in his tea so that he would get a better night of sleep. "It's okay..." She said calmly as she pulled her arm from his grip. "What can I do to help, Eoin? Is there anything you need?"
Her thoughts flickered back to the time he had found her at the shoreline, hovering over Brennus' dead body, sobbing uncontrollably, unable to do anything else. She had yelled at him to leave her alone and to go away. But he refused, and he had picked her up and carried her back to her manor and made sure she was safe. No one else would have done something like that for her. She never really knew why he did, though. But he had been the only one who tried to console her then. Her only friend in her time of need. Was Nemeris that cold and heartless that no one seemed to care about her?
Her gaze looked to him, not scared or frightened by his sudden display of defense. "I'm so sorry you went through all of that.." [d]

[EOIN] The hand at her wrist was shaking and, after a moment, he finally let her go. Standing abruptly, he didn't plan on leaving, but he didn't know what else to do...so he paced until he leaned a hand against a wall, trying to gather his wits again. It was hard than he expected. Now that he was left to all of these thoughts, it was far more overwhelming and he didn't know what to focus on first. And the last thing he wanted to do was shove away the one person who was actually trying to help him. He answered her quietly, "I don't know..." And he really didn't. "You've...already done more than anyone else has." That still pained him to admit. Maybe he didn't expect some grand fanfare upon his return, but...something better than what he received. He had been alone and in pain for an entire year, for fuck's sake. "I'm just trying to figure out...how to move on. From everything." Because it was clear that his life would not be the same. Not just because of Alexandria...but his mind felt fractured. In reality, he wasn't entirely the same man they had once known. He could feel it. [d]

[NEMERIS] She watched as he stood up and paced around the room in front of her. Leaning forward, she rested her elbows on her knees and clasped her hands together, sighing quietly. "Give it time..." She spoke gently. He couldn't expect everything to just fall into place and be normal upon his arrival. "You can stay here for as long as you need to. I have a guest room..." It felt weird for her to say that. She had a guest room... For someone who wasn't much for entertaining and didn't have many friends--she never knew why. Maybe for reasons such as this, now. Truthfully, it would be nice to have someone here with her. Especially if those bandits came around again. [d]

[EOIN] He knew he had to give it time...but it was his mind he worried the most about. "I know," he sighed, rubbing at his eyes. "I just...don't know if I'm the same person...I feel wrong, empty...confused." Lost. Maybe he hadn't gotten the chance to really breathe and heal after the escape. The moment he woke up after washing onto shore, finding the farmer tending to his wound, he struggled to get back onto his feet for days...because he had to get here. He had to warn Alexandria. To see her after all this time. A time that had somehow managed to become longer than he originally thought. At the mention of a guest room, it actually managed to bring the smallest of smiles onto his face, and he glanced over at her. He nearly laughed, too. "Do I need to clean off the layers of dust first?" There, he was trying to joke, even at her expense. But it was true...this woman didn't seem like the type to have guests very often. [d]

[NEMERIS] She knew what he meant about not being the same person. She often felt similar. "Why do yu feel wrong an empty?" She asked him. Maybe she could help him work through it. She was a good listener and excellent counsel. Supposedly. But at his comment about her guest room, she actually laughed. "You might..." She actually hadn't been in that room for quite some time. "I'm sorry..." She shook her head. "I will take care of it before you go in there... I was not expecting company anytime soon..." She laughed again. [d]
[EOIN] His smile remained for a moment longer as he shook his head. "Don't worry about it." But then that smile faltered. "It's...far better than what I was in for the last...year." He almost forgot, again, how long it had truly been. Eoin turned so he could lean back against the wall now, arms folding across his chest. He really didn't know how to explain it, so he shrugged a shoulder. "I was kept in a cell...for months. It's like...a part of me doesn't know anything else anymore. It was strange to be out of it, to feel grass beneath my feet, the wind on my face, the salted sea on my tongue. I just...don't feel right." He was shaking his head, knowing it probably didn't make sense. It were as though he was having to relive things all over again just to find out who he used to be, trying to feel normal. [d]


[NEMERIS] Her gaze drifted back to him as he spoke of what his new normal had turned into-- that being out of that cell was new all over again and he didn't feel right. She frowned and slowly stood up, moving closer towards him. "What you feel is normal, Eoin...." She carefully placed her hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "One day at a time... You will feel better one day at a time... I promise." She forced a smile. "Come here..." She extended her arms out to him, offering him another embrace. [d]

[EOIN] One agonizing day at a time, perhaps. Yes. But, once again, she was right. And for some reason he was loathe to acknowledge that and let her know. Somehow, though, she would already know, if only by the shift of his eyes and the subtle quirk of his mouth. The woman always seemed to know things when others didn't. He was reluctant to push himself from that wall and accept that invitation for an embrace, tiredly reaching for her where he would let his forehead just rest against her shoulder. "I'm holding you to that promise," came his softly muffled response, another attempt at subtle humor. One day at a time... Nothing was going to be better right away. He was going to have his ups and downs, especially with the news he had carried and the news he had been privy to and interrupted, it seemed. "Thank you," he finally said. [d]

[NEMERIS] She wrapped her arms around him, placing a hand on his back. She smirked and let out a quiet laugh, as he was now holding her to her promise. "That's a lot of pressure to put on one person." She slowly loosened her grip around him, though did not move away in case he needed more time in the embrace. She imagined it had been quite a while since he felt any embrace. Pity it had to be from such a cold-hearted woman. "If I am still surviving, so can you..." She assured him, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. [d]

[EOIN] It had been awhile since he felt much of anything, and certain things that were too embarrassing to say. Nemeris kept saying how she was so cold and distant, how she preferred people think of her in that way...and it was hard to believe her. Because there she was, trying to console a tired, broken man who feared he may have nothing left of his old life. Nothing at all. Except maybe her, the only friend he appeared to have anymore. Her soft laughter was still somehow warming, the kiss to his cheek warmer. It paused him for but a moment after he drew back, tired eyes looking at her. She was a lot more beautiful when she smiled, so it was a shame she always seemed to refuse to. He'd lingered too long, he realized, sensing his wariness was finally catching up with him, and his hand drew back from the strand of dark blonde hair he had subconsciously entwined around his finger. "That's because of your-" That same hand waggled his fingers in front of her face to indicate "magic", her "voodoo" or "witchery". Not that he was afraid to say any of these words, or that he would mean them with any negative infliction, but even still. "I feel like you haven't aged a day." In retrospect, a year wasn't a terribly long time for a person's appearance to change...except maybe for him. [d]

[NEMERIS] She did not show this type of warmth or affection to others. Not often. Everyone had hated Brennus-- and didn't care for her either. So when he had died, Eoin had been the only one to console her. Now he was in need of someone, and she would try to repay him for the kindness he once showed her in a world that not often gave her any. She laughed at his mockfulness of her abilities. Was he complimenting her, or was he accusing her of using her witchery, magic to prevent her from aging? She smirked, "Ah yes... I transferred my aging appearance to you, my friend. The weathered look suits you..." Her voice was laced with sarcasm, and she did not mean to offend him by insinuating that he had looked like he aged. But she was being truthful. He needed some sleep and some good food, and he would start to look and feel better. Speaking of food. She turned around and grabbed the platter of bread and cheese and she nearly shoved it towards him. "Eat something." She wasn't asking him, she was telling him. [d]

[EOIN] It was a compliment, he'd tell her, if she bothered to ask. At first he had been wary of her and her abilities, only coming to realize he didn't need to fear either. Eoin shook his head with a gentle laugh, knowing full well how tired and aged he looked. And he didn't want to remember the reasons why. "I am not surprised," he joked lightly. Then, she was forcing food in his face, and he reluctantly snatched a piece of cheese to pop it into his mouth. "There." It was good, and he should have been starving, but he couldn't seem to stomach much of anything. Sleep would help, and he prayed his mind would calm enough to allow that. [d]

[NEMERIS] She wouldn't know a compliment if someone told her they were complimenting her. It just wasn't often she recieved them, and she didn't really care to.
Bluish grey eyes watched him as he popped a piece of cheese into his mouth and acted as if that was enough to satisfy her demand. Her eyes narrowed at him and she shook her head. "You need to eat, it will make you feel better." She set the tray of food back down on the table before turning back to him. "And some sleep." She nodded. "I can make you some tea to help you relax." A small smirk formed at the corners of her lips, "Or I can use my" she waggled her fingers in front of his face, imitating what he previously did to her, "on you." She laughed quietly and rolled her eyes at him. [d]

[EOIN] He knew he had to eat, and especially rest, but it was difficult to do anything of the sort after what had just happened. Standing there now with Nemeris, some things felt as though he had never been gone...but everything else? It was completely different. But it wasn't as though he knew what was normal anymore. Eoin chuckled at her, mocking his comment from before. "I'm sorry," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm...still trying to adjust to any form of normalcy, let alone...all that happened tonight." It was impossible not to think about Alexandria when he had thought of her nearly every day while in confinement. "I know I should just sleep...I'm just afraid to. Sometimes I still think I'm there..." [d]

[NEMERIS] She laughed too and waved off his apology. "Quite alright. It's understandable, Eoin. You don't need to apologize to me." Though, what exactly was normal anymore? She understood his fear of sleep all too well. Nearly every night, she was haunted by something. Visions, memories, premonitions... fears. She sighed and nodded, placing her hand on his arm, squeezing it gently. "The tea I can give you will help you relax and will ease your mind to let you drift off to sleep." She explained. "But it will do little to help with the dreams...Those..." She paused and placed a finger to her lips in a thoughtful gesture. "I can help by staying with you as you sleep..." She wouldn't explain it further than that, because it wouldn't make much sense to others. [d]

[EOIN] But he felt like he'd have to keep apologizing for things, and he didn't know why. She kept telling him it would take time for things to settle down, but what if they didn't? What if everyone continued to look at him like they had this evening? He sighed, nodding lightly. "Tea might be good." He hadn't touched the wine she had brought out. That may not be good for his already jumbled mind. Still, when she mentioned it not helping the dreams, he wanted to ask how she knew, although it was very obvious. Her next words made him look at her in confusion. That...magic of hers, he assumed, and he was curious about that naturally. Even though she didn't explain further, he had to ask, "How...would that help?" [d]

[NEMERIS] She gave him a nod, happy he would accept the tea. But when he questioned her about the second option, she thought about how to answer him, because if she was honest about it, he most likely would refuse, because it typically meant she would absorb the memories and feelings that manifested in his dreams. She would endure it for him if it meant he'd get a good night of sleep to help in his recovery. Her brows furrowed at his question as if she were questioning him if he really wanted to know. "I have a way to block the bad visions from entering your mind." Well, it wasn't a lie. "But you would need to trust me." [d]

[EOIN] Was it paranoia or did he really feel like she was holding something back? He felt so dislocated from people these days that he couldn't tell. Not that he had easily been able to with her to begin with. Eoin stood there, watching her as if trying to figure it all out before he finally spoke, "Maybe...just the tea for right now." Chalk it up to being sure about the whole "magic thing" if need be. [d]

[NEMERIS] "Suit yourself." She shrugged her shoulders and stepped away from him. "You can wait here while I go get it, or you are welcome to follow me to the kitchen." Before giving him a chance to respond, she was turning away and heading into her kitchen. It was an interesting kitchen, to say the least, as it not only served as a place to cook meals, but also looked to be where potions of sorts were made, and herbs were grown. She gracefully moved around the room, plucking leaves from one plant, a flower from another and a vial full of a clear liquid. She placed a pot of water onto the flames of the oven before she threw her ingredients into a cup. Now it would just take a while for that water to boil. So she leaned elbows on the table and stood hunched over slightly, hands folded together. [d]

[EOIN] Maybe knowing he was back in Aralore, that he had done his part in warning the queen, he'd finally be able to sleep properly. At least he could pray and hope for it. Eoin decided to follow her as she walked lff, but he was slow to do so; letting his eyes wander the dimly lit hall before setting foot into the kitchen. Observant as always, he was idly taking in even the minor details before that tired smile returned. "Is this where you make your potions?" He seemed to be teasing her a lot about that, but even doing so, he never meant it in a negative light. He never much cared about it before, but maybe he was beginning to become a bit intrigued by it. [d]

[NEMERIS] Her grey-blue eyes glanced up at him as he walked into the room and asked if this was where she made her potions. She smirked and then laughed, as she stood up straigther. An eyebrow rose as she spoke, "Potions? Really Eoin...?" A hint of sarcasm laced through her voice. When people thought of potions they thought of these magic little vials that would cure all-- change things.. Make someone fall in love with you... Whatever the case may be. But that wasn't how it worked. At least not with her. It was more complicated than that, though for the simple minded, she supposed it may seem like magic. She motioned to the table, urging him to sit down When she heard the water in the pot boiling, she carefully took it from the stove and poured some into the cup she had prepared. Carefully, she carried it over to him and set it on the table. "Let it steep for a few minutes before you drink." And she slowly lowered herself into another chair at the table. [d]

[EOIN] He shrugged a shoulder, and it was obvious he was trying not to laugh. Is that what really believed? Who knew. He really didn't...but he was also pretty simple minded. "Just an honest question..." he mumbled before taking a seat. When she poured the tea and set it in front of him, he leaned down a little bit to sniff it. He'd never been much of a tea drinker, but it seemed like a good idea to at least try right now. "I don't mean to tease-" A pause. "Too much. I suppose I'm just... curious about it all." And it was a nice and strange distraction from all else. [d]

[NEMERIS] The tea smelled mostly of lavender, and a type of earthiness. She frequently used this tea, mostly for herself and it strangely worked very well.
At his form of yet another apology, she shrugged her shoulders. "What are you curious about? If you are safe? If you can trust me?" Clearly, she was used to people's curiosity as something negative...as them trying to accuse her of evil and wrong doing. [d]

[EOIN] He tried not to cringe his nose at it, but it was inevitable. Eoin was one with the forest, he enjoyed the wilderness...but that didn't mean he wanted to drink it. "No. I trust you, Nem," he said quickly, assuring her of it immediately. "I've just...always wondered about what you can exactly do." Was that too personal of a question? He knew some things, but he knew there was more. He'd been locked away for a whole year, maybe he didn't have much of a filter. [d]

[NEMERIS] If anyone knew exactly what she could do, she might be burned alive at a stake. So she always treaded lightly with this subject. When he mentioned he trusted her, her eyes shot over at him, as if he just said something completely absurd. No one ever said they trusted her. Her brows furrowed for a moment as she regarded him as he said he had always wondered about what she could do." She stood up from the table and moved over to a higher table-like bench, and poured herself a glass of wine before she moved back and sat down in front of him. She sipped at the wine before she spoke, as if he already knew what she did and she didn't understand why he was asking or wondering. "I see things." She paused, trying to think of the words she wanted to use. "Feel things...Hear things..." Another sip of wine was taken before she explained more. "I can heal... I know the ways of plants and herbs and what they can do to people..." She shrugged her shoulders. That was basically the general sense of her, at least. [d]

[EOIN] He knew this, what could happen, so maybe he wasn't exactly expecting a full, proper answer. Maybe this wasn't entirely curiosity and just simple conversation instead. While she spoke, he brought the tea up to his face to smell it again. But instead of placing it back down, he took a careful sip. Eoin noted the look on her face, though, when he said he trusted her. And he did. Was she not always the one to always explain and tell him things without lying? Brutal honesty warranted some sort of trust, and maybe that trust deepened because she was the only one here for him right now. If he had had to leave that castle on his own...he wasn't really sure what would have happened. This simple conversation was helping him find and maintain even a small amount of normalcy again. Nodding lightly, he felt like he shouldn't prod any further right now, but did pull down on the collar of his shirt just enough to show parts of that bandage that had already been stained with dried blood. It was throbbing something fierce now that his emotions were all beginning to calm down and he could notice it again. "Anything for this new beauty?" he questioned, only half joking. He could still remember how the Saelisian's knife tore through fabric and flesh, searing like fire. If Eoin had been a second slower to jump back and out of the way, it would have been far worse. [d]

[NEMERIS] There weren't a lot of people she trusted, but maybe she did with Eoin. He never seemed to judge her as everyone else did. She could be herself without worrying that she had to hide behind a fake façade.
As he pulled down the collar of his shirt and exposed the blood stained bandage, her eyes widened a bit and she quickly stood. "Eoin..." Her tone as if she were about to lecture him for not saying something sooner. She was immediately at his side, swatting his hands away. "Take your shirt off." She instructed as she started to carefully pull the bandage from his flesh to look at his wound. [d]

[EOIN] "What?" He actually looked at her in surprise after her lecturing tone. There had been a lot more pressing things to worry about this evening. He would have eventually gotten to this. Maybe. He hadn't cared until it was beginning to throb, and the skin felt warm around it. Now, realizing it, even he knew that meant a possible infection. Dammit. Taking another sip of his tea before he complied in lifting that shirt up and over his head, he winced as she started to peel the bandage away. It felt like she was tearing his skin off! "Easy, easy...!" he exclaimed quietly. The cut was long, from across his heart towards the other side, but not terribly deep (or so he claimed). Still, it would have been enough to kill him if the farmer hadn't found him and stitched him up. The man hadn't been much of a healer, but he still had saved Eoin's life. [d]

[NEMERIS] Her brows lowered and she winced slightly as he exclaimed out to her to be easy with the bandages. She pulled her fingers away briefly to assess the bandage, before slender and delicate fingers carefully and slowly pried the bandages from his skin. Once the bandage was removed, her eyes looked over his wound, eyebrows furrowing slightly. "It's infected." She spoke quietly before she was walking away from him and moving around the room to gather up some things. When she returned to his side, everything was set down on the table. A clean cloth was dipped into a bowl of water before she began dabbing the wound carefully and gently. Her eyes remained downcast, watching her own fingers as she cleaned his wound. For some reason, her fingers were trembling slightly and her eyes showed pain with each dab at his wound. [d]

[EOIN] He was really beginning to get tired, but now the pain was swiftly bringing him out of that. When she claimed it was infected, he looked down. "No it's not..." he murmured, as if saying so would make the outcome different. He could feel it, though. He knew it wasn't right, mainly because he hadn't taken care of it since leaving that small, little farm. His jaws clenched as she cleaned it, and he nearly missed those subtle reactions. He almost did. Something felt off. He gently stopped her fingers, his own grasping that hand as he looked to her. "What's wrong?" Was it worse than she was letting on? [d]

[NEMERIS] "It is." She argued against him, though her tone was soft as she continued cleaning the wound. "Sorry," she would say, as he winced in pain. Her brows furrowing again until he grasped her hand to stop her and asked what was wrong. Her eyes found his and she shook her head. "What do you mean? You are injured...It's infected." That's what was wrong. Though, what she would fail to tell him was that when she touched him, that pain was manifesting itself into her own chest while images ran through her head of how the injury occurred. But she looked at him as if nothing were wrong now and raised a brow as if telling him to let her hand go so she could continue to help him before this got worse. [d]

[EOIN] He waved off her apology, because he supposed it was mostly his fault now that it had gotten this bad. But what did he know? He was no healer, and he barely had to register that the woman he thought was the love of his life was already married to another. The thought was hitting him hard again, unsure on whether or not a year seemed suitably long enough to get over someone. Was it? He had never cared for another like he had Alexandria, so this pain was new and uncharted territory. Nemeris' words drew him out of these thoughts, and he realized he was still ceasing her hand because he swore he senses something wrong. When she gave him a simple answer, yet one that made sense, he let her go. "I'm sorry." He lightly sighed, letting his attention fall to the cup of tea that sat on the table, the steam softly billowing up into the air. "Do you still mourn him...?" He meant Brennus, and his voice was low and cautious when he asked. [d]

[NEMERIS] As he let go of her hand, she placed the cloth back into the bowl of water. She moved to start mixing herbs and other ingredients together until it formed a paste. She was silent as she did so, her eyes never looking at him, even when he asked her that question. But her expression showed that he had struck a nerve within her.
She dipped her fingers into the paste before she began smearing it carefully and gently on his wound. Though as she touched him, her brows furrowed in pain again, but she did her best to hide it. It would seem like she'd ignore his question, as she hadn't yet answered it. But finally, she spoke, never looking at him, as her eyes were busy on his wound. "Yes. Not as much though, as something else claims my mourning now." She continued to carefully smother that paste on him, eyes downward still. [d]

[EOIN] Yes, he was thinking that she simply ignored his question...and that was fine. It was perhaps too personal of one for him to ask and he was regretting the words the moment they left his tongue. Eoin watched her in silence as she created the paste, flinching when she began to apply it, and he was about to apologize for the intrusion when she spoke. That made him pause instantly. Something else had happened. Something else he had missed. "Nem...?" he gently and carefully urged. Why did he get the feeling like he wasn't ready for the answer? [d]

[NEMERIS] Eoin had his own problems and emotions to deal with, and as soon as she admitted to him her mourning, she regretted it. He did not need to hear about her problems. When he spoke her name, she knew he was trying to pry more information from her, but she stayed silent as she finished applying the paste and started to put some form of leaf on top of the paste. Still, she couldn't look at him, her eyes remained down at his wound. She couldn't remember if he had known she was pregnant, or if she did not start showing yet until after his disappearance. She did not really tell anyone about it until it became obvious. Her eyes started to well up as the memory filled her mind, but she pushed it away and looked at him briefly. "What?" She said in response to him saying her name. She looked away and continued with the leaves. [d]

[EOIN] It was definitely the wrong question to ask. When he was trying to forget his own woes, he accidentally made her remember something she clearly didn't wish to. When he tried to console her, he was making it worse. Now, she was avoiding it all together, and he felt terrible about it. Eoin just wanted to let it go, but it was hard to when he noticed the tears beginning to glisten in her eyes. "Hey..." he said calmly, figuring she'll probably get even more mad at him. He wished he could take it back or not care, but he couldn't. Not yet. She could tell him one more time that nothing was wrong or deny it again. Then he wouldn't push her any further. He knew there was a limit to everyone, but he felt guilty for bringing this upon her. "I didn't mean to-" What? Make her remember something she shouldn't have? "You can talk to me...if you need to." [d]

[NEMERIS] "It's fine..." she answered him quickly. "You have enough on your mind and don't need to be bothered by my issues too..." She forced a smile as she reached for clean bandages, her eyes flickering to him briefly before they went back to his wound, carefully wrapping it up. The paste she had created would draw the infection out and change the color of the green leaves to brown once it absorbed into them. She considered talking to him about it. But really did not want to burden him with anything else. [d]

[EOIN] There it was, her gentle refusal, and he would accept it. It wasn't his business, but that didn't make him any less willing to listen to her if she needed it. He did have a lot to deal with, but it didn't matter. This is what friends did, was it not? Eoin reached for her hand to pause it only for a moment so that she would look at him. "If you need to," he repeated, slower this time so she would understand that it didn't matter what he was going through. Then he let her go, leaning back in his seat a little more. "Thank you, by the way." For helping with the wound. [d]

[NEMERIS] She was nearly finished with bandaging him up when he took her hand, pausing her. Her eyes found his briefly as he reiterated that she could talk to him if needed. She nodded slightly before glancing back at her work to finish bandaging him up. When she finished she began cleaning things off the table, only to pause when he thanked her. "Of course," She said simply. She moved around the kitchen, returning things where they belonged, before she found her seat again in front of him. Another sip of that wine was taken, her eyes still holding onto that grief he had reminded her about. Fingers traced along the stem of her glass as her eyes remained down, and she spoke quietly, unable to look at him. "I was with his child for some time..." she explained to him. "I can't remember if you knew that or not..." [d]

[EOIN] He carefully slipped his shirt back on, wincing slightly as he agitated that wound a little. But things were already beginning to feel just a little better...or perhaps he was just thinking it was. Eoin tried to get a bit more comfortable in that chair, taking a couple more sips of that tea before it got cold. When she finally spoke, he was realizing that she was beginning to open up a little more. But what she said was startling. "No," he began quietly. "I didn't..." Where was the child now then? [d]

[NEMERIS] She took another sip of her wine when Eoin admitted he did not know she was pregnant, and she nodded slightly, hesitating for a moment as her eyes remained down into her glass. She couldn't look at him as she spoke.. She didn't want him to see how badly this had affected her. "After the war... There were bandits who came and took advantage of the ruin here... They found their way into my manor here." She raised a brow and took another sip of her wine before she'd continue. "I was attacked." She paused, "...And I lost the baby." She fell silent, then, her hands falling to her stomach as she remembered the moment. [d]

[EOIN] All of this because he wanted to know if Alexandria's feelings for another man were valid. Not that he knew how much Nemeris had suffered, but still. Now he felt incredibly horrible and guilty. That cup was set aside quickly as he leaned forward; sadness washing over his tired features instantly. "Nemeris...I'm sorry." For her loss. For even making her bring it up. "I didn't know..." He was quick to reach over for one of her hands, as if his own broken mind could possibly keep hers from crumbling. [d]

[NEMERIS] When he took her hand, her brows lowered and she finally looked at him. His apology made her laugh, but the laughter was laced with sadness. "How could you have known? You weren't here." She was waving off his unnecessary apology again.
As she fell silent, her eyes began to well up again, and she was suddenly crying. "Now I have nothing...Nothing to really live for anymore. Nothing of his...Nothing to care for...Nothing to..." She pulled her hand away from him and quickly wiped her face, forcing herself to stop crying as if her moment to be allowed her sorrow was suddenly over and unacceptable. [d]

[EOIN] You weren't here... He knew she hadn't meant that maliciously, but it still stung. Even though his life had been complete Hell, to know how much he missed, what could have been different if he hadn't been taken...it was drawing him back into those frightening memories. Until she was crying. It was the one, sad thing to pull him back to reality, his heart suddenly breaking for her. Nemeris' words hit home perhaps far more than she might think...and although she was trying to push passed everything, wiping her tears, Eoin was leaning forward to hold her to him. The pressure against his wound hurt, but he didn't care. Perhaps he needed the silent comfort just as she might need it. [d]

[NEMERIS] Maybe she knew exactly how he was feeling, whether from her own experiences or from the emotions she was drawing from him. Or maybe both.
She hadn't spoken to anyone about her grief, which had pushed her further into isolation. She lived with the grief alone, allowing it to torment her each day, unable to let go.
Her eyes were down, so when he leaned forward to hold her, she stiffened as if she hadn't expected it. But she gave into his arms and rested her face into his uninjured neck and shoulder. She said nothing, though. Eoin might not realize it, but she had been in her own sort of dungeon for a year, too. [d]

[EOIN] This had been his fault. He was hoping to get a better understanding on Alexandria's thoughts and feelings through Nemeris' own experience...but he didn't stop to think about what that would do to her. His mind was still muddled and now he was feeling incredibly guilty, perhaps something she would pick up on, unknowingly to him. His arms tightened around her just a little more, and he tilted his head to rest on top of hers. A year, and he forgot how to be conscious of others. It had been selfish. "I didn't...mean to make you remember that. Forgive me." Eoin held back a sigh, letting his remorse slowly eat away at him. "But you aren't alone, Nem...no matter what you try to make yourself believe." Did he mean him? Quite possibly, but he couldn't imagine the queen abandoning her either. [d]

[NEMERIS] She knew his motives behind his question and she could feel that guilt that ran through him. She would talk about it once able to regain her composure. For now, she allowed him to console her, because it had been a long time since she had felt this warmth. For no one's fault but her own. She heard his voice vibrate in his throat and chest, but didn't say anything right away, in response. Perhaps she *wasn't completely alone. There were people who would probably lend an ear or help. But Nemeris didn't trust others, save for maybe the queen. But she had her own troubles to deal with and she didn't need to burden her with more. Finally, she spoke, but still not in response to what he said. "People grieve differently, Eoin... She wasn't given much time to grieve you because the arrangement happened just a month or so after the war ended. She was forced to move on and bury her feelings. I would not be surprised if she still was mourning you deep down... They work well together though. Aric has already done a lot for Aralore. If the Tresterian king hadn't forced them to marry today...." she trailed off, not really knowing how to finish that thought. But she wanted to let Eoin know all of this hadn't been intentional. [d]

[EOIN] Maybe it was just so hard to accept this because, to him, he didn't feel like that much time had passed. Meaning, it somehow only felt like a few months at the most. He was still taken so aback by the news and he was struggling with it. He wanted to hate Alexandria, wanted to blame her...but he couldn't, and he wouldn't. He had been dead and she had a kingdom to look after. She did what any good queen would. She'd feel him nod slowly in response to her words, as they somehow eased his pain but made it worse at the same time. It was just making it all the more clear that he had to truly move on. He wasn't her life anymore, even if she still was his. Achingly so. Maybe it was so terrible because he'd had nothing but those memories with him this past year. He knew nothing else. "I've always believed in fate," he finally said quietly, lest his voice crack. "And, I suppose...fate is telling me now that my life is not to be the same as it was before." [d]

[NEMERIS] She still hadn't moved from his embrace and she didn't know why. He was warm and her body ached with a coldness that never seemed to leave her.
When he spoke, she remained quiet, pondering his words afterward. Fate could be such a cruel thing, but everything had a purpose, it just came down to paying attention to things as they happened or came into your life. "Perhaps not..." she spoke quietly, agreeing with him. "But you will find a new purpose to your different life, and eventually move passed this..." Her fingers, almost instinctively, moved to his head and she gently stroked his hair, trying to comfort him and ease some of the pain and hurt he felt, slowly drawing them into herself. [d]

[EOIN] This felt wrong. These two lost souls hiding away in a dark and cold manor, feeling cast aside or like they had to be. It wasn't right, and yet, Eoin was beginning to understand why she withdrew into herself. And perhaps he shouldn't. He'd always been a part of something, always "part of a pack", if you will, until even that was taken from him. His life was then dedicated to Aralore, to Alexandria, and he thought he'd be lost without either. "Maybe," he finally said, only half believing it. Had she move passed her own grievances? The fact that she remained there in his arms still made it clear that she had not. Drawing in a deep breath, he let it out slowly. There was this overwhelming calm that was washing over him, and it couldn't have possibly just been her fingers in his hair. But his lids were getting heavy, his whole body was beginning to relax as all he wanted to do was suddenly sleep. [d]

[NEMERIS] When she felt him beginning to relax in her arms, she very slowly pulled away from him, though that calming feeling would remain on him. A combination of the tea and her, whatever she had managed to do. But there was this awful pain in Nemeris' eyes and tears were lightly streaming down her cheeks. "You should get to sleep," she said softly, seeing that he was fading, and she couldn't possibly carry him. "You must feel exhausted. And the tea will start to kick in. Let it. Don't fight it." [d]

[EOIN] He almost hadn't realized that she pulled away from him until his eyes lifted to find her face. She was saying something to him, and he blinked. "Did you drug me?" By the cheeky grin on his face and quietly joking tone, he didn't seem to care. Even while he was exhausted, he noted that pain in her eyes and her tears...but seeing as he didn't know what she had done, he chalked it up to her still being upset about what she had told him. The smile was quick to disappear as he reached over to wipe the tears from her cheeks, and in a way to silently thank her for her help and kindness. Then he slowly got himself up to his feet. [d]

[NEMERIS] She smirked and shook her head. "No... it's the tea. I told you it works well." Her brows furrowed as he was touching her face to wipe her tears. Her face showing slight confusion, but she said nothing. When he stood, she slowly did too, taking hold of his arm in case he was a bit unsteady. She should have warned him to drink it after getting into bed. But she felt happy her powers were so effective for him. The tea only had a part in this feeling he had. But she wouldn't tell him that. [d]

[EOIN] "Uh huh..." he was quick to murmur as though disbelieving her. But again, he didn't care. He wasn't feeling that throbbing pain in his chest as much anymore, and he temporarily forgot about the ache in his heart. Stumbling lightly, he'd need her help to even walk yet he tried his best not to put all his weight against her. Whatever she had given him, it was making it appear like he was drunk...but in reality, he was just that tired. He'd not slept properly in over a year. Eoin started to walk despite his shuffling feet and not knowing where the hell he was going. [d]

[NEMERIS] She laughed softly, throwing his arm around her shoulders, and she quietly led him to the stairs. She'd do her best to guide him up the stairs and to the guest room, which was next across the hall from her own room. She took a candle lantern from the hall to bring light into the guest room for him and she set it down on a table before guiding him to the bed and urging him to sit. [d]

[EOIN] Why was he this tired all of a sudden? Oh, right...that tea. What the hell was in that? And he wasn't even positive he drank it all either. He nearly tripped up the steps but managed to get to the top of them with her help. Sleep sounded so good right now, and he wanted to shut his eyes in that very moment while they walked. When she urged him to sit on the edge, and he felt the comfortable cushion beneath him, he was already falling to the side where his head hit the pillow. This was what a bed felt like...he had nearly forgotten. [d]

[NEMERIS] She smirked slightly as he allowed himself to fall into the bed, and she helped lift his legs onto the bed before she took his boots off of him. She found a blanket on the edge of the bed and laid it over him. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you?" She'd ask once again before leaving him alone if he so wished. [d]

[EOIN] His eyes were growing heavier and heavier with each passing second and he almost missed her words. A hand lazily waved her off, smirking, "I think I'll be fine." He most likely wouldn't be, but right now, he was feeling pretty good. And that was a first after a long time. "Thanks, Nem..." her murmured before those slate-gray eyes completely closed. [d]

[NEMERIS] She nodded to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Goodnight Eoin." As his eyes closed, she whispered something, seemingly in a different language. A small protection spell, to try and keep his dreams clear of the bad. He didn't want her to stay to ensure the spell worked, so it was the least she could do. And she turned, stepping out of the room, closing the door, though leaving it a crack. Just in case. [d]