maybe I'm waking up today

[Ciaran Lee Frye]

His poor horse barely got to rest as he and his brother charged towards Lasairdubh. How was he going to do this? How was he going to tell his mother and aunt about the two year old child he has kept hidden this entire time? How was he supposed to ease into this news?

He couldn't. It was going to be blunt and probably dramatic- such was the Ciaran Lee Frye way, apparently. Maybe no one would expect it any other way. There could be no more delay. His mother was probably going to kill him, but he had to make sure the two were safe. It was all that suddenly mattered.

Similar to how he had arrived to dinner all those days ago, Ciaran was nearly out of the saddle before that equine came to a complete halt at the manor entrance. He wasn't concerned about the animal wandering off, knowing one of the servants would tend to him as he quickly grabbed the items from the saddle bag and rushed through the door, heaving for breath. Prepared to just wander frantically, he realized he had to stop. A soft wave of dizziness washed over him because, for the first time in his life, Ciaran had nearly hyperventilated.

Hunching forward, supporting himself with hands upon his thighs, he had enough air in his lungs to call out, "MOTHER?!" Wherever the woman was, Auntie Em surely would be.

[ Eoghann Lee Frye ; Catriona Lee Frye ; Emilia McIntyre ]

[Eoghann Lee Frye]

Eoghann kept up with Ciaran as they pushed the horses towards home. His mind already forming plans and making up a story should they need to use it on the old hens if Ciaran decided to not reveal his secret. His dark eyes had wandered towards his brother more than once during the ride, seeing the tension in his shoulders, seeing that underlying frantic panic. That same panic had clung to his shoulders three years ago, and for Ciaran's sake, he hoped they weren't late. Eoghann knew too well what being too late resulted in, and this time a child was involved... A daughter. He was an uncle. Again. But this time the child was Ciarans. A niece. He couldn't help but feel that same over protective feeling he'd had when Aoife was born. That brotherly protective feeling had nearly consumed him, even as a child as he held his baby sister, and it was now back as an uncle. There wasn't a doubt that once he laid eyes on the child, or even held her for the first time, that he would protect her. He was already planning to do so by sending out his men and Ciaran hadn't even given him the full story yet. 

When they arrived at Lasairdubh, Eoghann was practically on Ciarans heels as he dismounted and rushed forward. His cloak billowed behind him slightly with his movements. He was dressed for work, the leather armor of the rangers with his black cloak lined in bear fur. His large frame moved surprisingly swift for being so big. "Alright how-"

"MOTHER!?!" Well there settled that question, as Eoghann sighed. Placing a hand on Ciarans shoulder to help steady him. "Breathe, or your going to pass out, dumbass." He said it with affection of course. Ruffling Ciarans hair as he walked past him. Snagging a near by servant. "Where's our mother and Aunt?" He all but barked out the order. Causing the servant to jump slightly. Eoghann tended to have that affect on a lot of people, whether he intended for it or not. Once their location was given, Eoghann headed for the stairs. Not needing to wait to know Ciaran would be right behind him. "How do you want to do this? Are you telling her everything?" He asked, glancing over at him. 

[Catriona Lee Frye]

You could set your watch to the daily routine of Catriona Lee Frye. Even when there were guests- in this case, a houseful of them- the Lee Frye matriarch went about her day in the same sequence. At this time Cat could be found in the greenhouse, taking in her rosebushes when the light caught them just right. Pruning shears in hand, the woman worked on them as she talked with Emilia McIntyre . Whilst their conversation over tea the other day had been dark, the topic centring around vengeance- around protecting their family, particularly Rosemary; today the conversation had been lighter. Today the two women were catching up on idle gossip and discussing their gardens: both Cat’s flowers and Em’s poisons. Spring was the perfect time for planting after all.

MOTHER?!

The call made her blood run cold. Catriona had only heard that kind of cry through Lasairdubh in her nightmares. Her son. Her baby. It wasn’t the cry of squabbling siblings, wanting her to take some side or other in a game they were definitely too old for (not that it ever seemed to stop them), but a cry of pure panic. Her own panic set it, and skirts swished as Catriona hurried towards the door- not turning to see if her sister was following. What mattered now was Ciaran Lee Frye .

Blindly, Catriona strode through the corridor. This was the problem with castles: the sound echoed, it was difficult to place. Ciaran often favours the side entrance- he must be there. So that was where she headed. Though her blood was ice, her heart hammering a thousand miles a minute, and her worry was rising with every step she took: not a hair was out of place, the gentle flush of her cheeks was the only sign something was amiss.

Minutes must have passed before she found them, Ciaran Lee Frye and Eoghann Lee Frye looking as though they’d ridden half a league at least. ”Ciaran.” She breathed, hands finding his face as though she was checking every inch of him for marks or wounds- only Cat found him unharmed. ”What is it? You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.”

Turning to Eoghann, the woman looked over her older son- he at least seemed to be somewhat calmer. ”What happened Eoghann? Are either of you hurt?” By this point she was fighting to keep her voice level, to be the calm presence her family so often needed amidst the chaos.

[Ciaran Lee Frye]

Was this normal? That he couldn't seem to breathe correctly or get his thoughts entirely in order? Was this a panic attack? Well, he must not be dying because Eoghann was calling him names and ruffling his hair. Ciaran annoyingly swatted at him as he brushed by and he attempted to take in slow and steady breaths.

"I...I don't know," he stammered out a response to his brother's question. Shouldn't he just explain everything, get it over with? By keeping any of this secret for longer was just going to make it that much worse in the end. And again, it didn't matter anymore. It couldn't, not while he had absolutely no idea as to where they were or if they were alright. There were too many "what ifs" centered around this- he had to come clean.

But he was terrified. He was ashamed.

He forced himself to follow Eoghann as they headed towards the greenhouse, yet it would seem that their mother was far quicker, already meeting them nearly halfway. By then, he had caught his breath, but his heart still thundered wildly and he felt a cold sweat shudder through him. It was nerves, they were already shot and this entire situation was only going to get twenty times worse before it possibly got better, if it even would. Hopefully it got better.

'What is it?' He froze when she took up his face, his expression softening from frantic to guilt and worry. Ciaran was already faltering, turning his gaze to his brother as if asking for help, although a part of him didn't want it. It shouldn't be Eoghann, it shouldn't be his to tell or to even lie about.

"Well-" One word out of the older Lee Frye son's mouth and something inside Ciaran snapped again.
"I have a daughter!" The explanation fell from his tongue in a rush of quiet exasperation. Somehow, in that span of a few seconds, it felt as though a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders...only it was coming right back down.

His hands immediately reached up for his mother's, pulling them gently from his face (maybe he was afraid she'd claw his eyes out), and held them in a silent gesture of forgiveness. No more thinking, no more delaying or lying. And now that he began, he couldn't seem to stop. Gods help him.

The words rushed out in his panic. "She's two. I hid her and her mother away in Greyshollow because I was ashamed, but now they’re missing. I don't know where they would have gone, if something happened, and- and...I need your help." He stopped breathing again, knowing this was not how he should have told her, or anyone for that matter, but it wouldn't have been so blunt and to the point if he wasn't afraid the situation was dire.

If she was going to kill him, he prayed she killed him later.

[Emilia McIntyre]

Emilia had missed this. Whether she appeared so or not, she there was something about being in her sisters company that took her back to when they girls. It also nice to actually feel wanted. With her children all grown and coming and going from the main home, Emilia found herself incredibly lonely back at Morningstar estate with a husband who could really care less. She had a thought she should visit Cat more often now, when she heard someone calling for her sister.

She threw Cat a look, as by the tone used was rather alarming. In her experience the Lee Frye boys only called for their mother like that if it was serious, or there was trouble. Sensing the same thing, Cat was off quickly, and Emilia quickly put her gardening sheers down, before picking up her skirts and following after her sister.

Only she was slightly delayed by the sudden appearance of the Lee Frye dog. A hairy, mangy beast in Emilia’s experience. Her and Teddy Lee Frye had a peculiar relationship where everyone else in the family believed Emilia despised him, but on the contrary, she was rather fond of him. When they were alone together that is. “I can’t play with you now, Beasty run along.” She gave Teddy a quick pat on the head before she hurried on by, and Teddy’s nails clicked against the stone as he hurried up behind her.

She turned the corner, just in time to hear Ciaran’s tale, and she blinked in surprise. He had a what hidden away for two years? She was mostly in shock, but her pace didn’t lesson. She could see Eoghann standing there awkwardly as if he was contemplating taking cover over their mothers reaction to the news she had a granddaughter. “- if something happened, and- and...I need your help."

“No, you need our help.” She spoke quickly on her arrival. Teddy sent out a bark, clearly happy to see the boys. There was a reason the boys had to be home, and it was no surprise that they would know she was there as well.

Rather then fixing her nephew with a look of disapproval, it was one with curiosity. If she was being honest, she was surprised this hadn’t happened far sooner. Especially with him. She glanced at her sister. It seemed murder wasn’t the only thing they’d be adding to their agenda, but locating lost grandchildren as well. A small part of her was actually beginning to enjoy this...excitement. It was serious for sure, but….when was the last time something this exciting happened? “Seems we both have scandals to cover now Kitty.” And hers would be larger than Rosemary's. How did you cover up the fact your son had a bastard daughter?

“We’ll find them, I don’t suppose you have anything of theirs with you?” She asked, with a raised brow as she looked between Ciaran and Eoghann.

[Eoghann Lee Frye]

Eoghann nodded his head at his brother. It wasn’t an answer so Eoghann was going to have to study his body language and make a call when they got to mother. Or, she got to them by the looks of it. He could see her concern a mile away, and Eoghann’s eyes darted to Ciaran and then back to his mother. Suddenly feeling like he was about to be caught in the middle of all blow-ups. He did say he wanted a front-row seat…

As Catriona looked over Ciaran for injuries, and then glanced at him for an explanation, he decided to go with Plan A. Be as vague as possible and say it was ranger business. “Well-”

“I have a daughter!” Ciaran blurted, and Eoghann froze. What happened to the badly formed plan?!He thought, but Ciaran was clearly desperate, and they did not have time. This was way worse than trying to hide the fact they’d set Teddy on fire again, or burnt down a curtain and were going to lie through their teeth. This was another life Ciaran had tried to hide, and Eoghann really didn’t want to be him in those moments. He took a slight step back from his brother and mother as if preparing himself for the fallout.

His eyes flickered up to see movement while Ciaran explained the situation to their mother, and Eoghann had to do a double-take at Ciaran. Two? The child was Two?! Ciaran had been hiding this for two years? How long did Aoife know?! Eoghann was going to have to go find his sister after this he realized. Make her squirm until he could get it out of her, and then zap her for not coming to tell him sooner, so they could help the idiot with his mess.

With a flourish of her fancy skirts, Auntie Em arrived with Teddy right on her heels. Maybe Ciaran could use Teddy as a defensive shield against their mother? The sheepdog trotted over happily, tongue lolling from his mouth, as Eoghann squatted down to greet him. Deciding to keep him away from the ticking time bomb. “Heeeeeey buddy.” He whispered quietly, roughly his ears, as he came in and started licking his face. He pushed the hairy beast away and then stood up.

“And Remember Momma, Ciaran loooooooooves you, and time is our enemy right now.” He chipped in, coming in from the side as he wrapped his arms quickly around her so if Ciaran had to make a run for it, at least she was stalled for a moment. Eoghann planted a kiss on her cheek and grinned down at her. “Lecture him later, he’s sorry for what he did, and is clearly suffering enough right now.” He said far quieter, his smile softened considerably before he nodded for Ciaran to give Aunt Em the items. He gave his mother another squeeze before he let her go.

[Catriona Lee Frye]

He was unharmed, or at least he was as far as Catriona could see- and from the way Eoghann was standing there: Cat assumed her older son was just as unmarked. So what had caused all this ruckus? What on earth would bring two of her sons crashing through the door, one looking as though he had seen some wild beast in the lake. ”Shh, shh.” She soothed, her hands still on her son’s cheeks. He would need to calm down first if he wanted to tell her anything.

’I have a daughter’ Or not. The words came so quickly that Catriona almost thought she had misheard them. A daughter

Whatever Catriona was feeling in that moment was a mystery. Her expression remained one of concern, barely shifting from the expression she had worn when Ciaran and Eoghann first came running through the house. She was shocked, that much was true- but her mind was quick, and judging from the panic in her son’s eyes: now was not the time to process that information. There would be time for words, strong words, later.

’She's two. I hid her and her mother away’

Catriona was struggling to remain impassive now, struggling to keep the hurt from seeping into her eyes, struggling to keep her grammyre from manifesting itself. She could practically taste the smoke.  Or was it metal? It was probably a good thing that Ciaran had taken her hands and was holding them ever so gently in his- otherwise they would have been shaking. ’I was ashamed’ Ashamed? A small choking noise escaped from deep within her throat. This was a dream, a horrendous nightmare, and Catriona couldn’t quite seem to wake herself from it. A daughter. A little girl. She was only two. And she was missing. Blood ran cold, and the room began to spin. Catriona Lee Frye had never been a lady to swoon, to faint in a fit of breathlessness, but for the first time in her life she watched helplessly as Ciaran Lee Frye ’s face swam in and out of focus.

                                                     ’I need your help.’

No, you need our help

That was enough to snap her out of it. That, and Eoghann’s arms tight around her. For the umpteeth time since she had arrived: Catriona was glad her little sister was here. Helplessness was swiftly swept away, replaced with the resolve synonymous with the Lee Frye name. There would be time later to process this particular bombshell, to handle the heartbreak that came with finding out her own son had kept this from her- that he had felt the need to. But now, now they would fix this. Between the four of them.

”I know dear.” She said, dark eyes flashing at Eoghann Lee Frye as he finally released her. If there had been strangers in the room, they wouldn’t have thought anything was amiss when the dark haired woman spoke: but Ciaran, Eoghann, and Emilia knew their mother and sister well enough to see that she was shaken, to hear the very slight note of darkness in her tone. If anything had so much looked at that little girl the wrong way, there would be more than Hell to pay. She would deal with the boys later, but first, they had to find Ciaran’s daughter… they had to find her granddaughter. ”And I love you both too, but don’t think I won’t have questions or a lecture for you either Eoghann Javier Lee Frye.” Brushing down her skirts, Catriona Lee Frye gathered herself before looking at her younger son. ”Ciaran Jacques Lee Frye. You heard your aunt, do you have anything of theirs?” Emilia would need it for her magic, which was one small blessing. This search would be a lot quicker with it than without. ”Eoghann, dearest, send a dove to your father please.” There may have been a ‘please’ attached, however it was not a request, but rather a command. ”No details, you never know who is reading letters these days. But ask how he is, and tell him this and this exactly: That ‘mother misses you, she wishes you would return home to see the may lilies bloom’.” They had planted them in the first winter of their marriage, and in spring they could be found blooming in the upper gardens. It was also the code they used whenever Robert was required home, and quickly.

”We’ll find them Ciaran, I promise you.” Hands found his once again, giving them a brief squeeze before shooing him off to find an item for Emilia. ”Now do as your aunt says.”  It was taking a great deal of will to remain upright, and if there had been a chair nearby, Catriona would have sank into.  She could feel a headache coming on. As if sensing her distress, Teddy crept forward, nuzzling his head into her palm.  On instinct, the woman gently scratched behind his ears.  What was she going to do with them?  

[Ciaran Lee Frye]

His mother had been trying to comfort him while he frantically attempted to get himself together. He didn't deserve that. The words that were about to flee past his lips were going to hurt her, and he knew it. He had known it all along, and yet, he continued to keep this secret. There had still been things holding him back from going to his mother to begin with.

He was sorry. He was so very sorry, but Ciaran knew there probably wasn't anything he could say or do that was going to make this any better. He fucked up, and he had to willingly lay down in his grave.

Watching how his news began to dawn on the woman, the way she was struggling to keep a handle on her emotions, Ciaran couldn't breathe properly; the pain of his own shame seeping into those dark eyes as he pressed a kiss to his mother's knuckles because he couldn't seem to find anymore words. Perhaps he had already said too much too quickly. It was only when Eoghann embraced her did he let her hands go, taking a step back with his head down.

'No, you need our help.'

That gaze shamefully, and yet full of hope, rose up to find his aunt standing there, managing to take control of the situation a little before his mother could. Ciaran let out a small breath of relief, curling his fingers into his palms to keep his hands from shaking.

'And I love you both too, but don’t think I won’t have questions...' "I'm sorry, Momma," he said, his voice weak as though he was eight years old again and apologizing for breaking one of the lanterns, nearly setting a rug ablaze. But this was far worse and he knew it. Catriona would know he did and that there was no getting out of whatever would come later. They just couldn't focus upon that yet, despite how much he wanted to apologize for his idiocy over and over again.

They had to find Terra and Myra.

He was beginning to zone out, hearing them all talking and yet he couldn't seem to concentrate on it. Aunt Emilia needed something of theirs, his mother was talking to his brother about sending a letter to their father in Ethion...everything was beginning to blur together and although he appeared more stunned at the moment, he was still frantic inside. Everything came to a screeching halt when Catriona took up his hands, making him that promise as he felt the sting of tears at his eyes when he looked back to her. Even with this news, she was keeping herself together, whereas he was proving to be a complete foolish mess.

Just another reason to add to the list of why Myra needed better people to look up to and to depend upon that weren't him.

Before he could fall into that dark self-pity he usually so desperately avoided, he was turning to head back out to his horse, only to remember he had shoved the items from the cottage into his coat pocket. Although he feared he might fall over, he walked his way to Emilia and procured the little dress and scarf. "Her name is Myra..." he said, his voice beginning to crack further. "She has dark eyes and dark curls...unfortunately resembles me, but I pray she'll grow out of that and look more like Terra..." Ciaran was trying to joke, and although there was a hint of humor in his eyes and a corner of his mouth quirked up, it couldn't break the sadness and concern that still claimed his expression.

Swallowing the harsh lump in his throat, he looked at his aunt, his voice barely a whisper now, "Thank you..."

[Emilia McIntyre]

Adrenaline was starting to flood into Emilia’s bloodstream, and gave her just the kick she needed to feel alive once more. Despite the seriousness of the situation and the bombshell that Ciaran had told his mother, she was excited to be doing this once more. Lord knew she missed the feeling of adrenaline and excitement with things like this. Of course she wouldn’t say that outloud and in front of her nephew or sister.

She reached out to place a steady hand on Catriona’s arm. Lending her support. Yes, little sister was there and they’d make it through this. She waited patiently, a small smile curling her lips as Cat gave out her orders. Oh yes, she was enjoying this. She held out her hand for the items, waiting as Ciaran remembered where he’d put them, and then took the items from him while Eoghann gave a firm nod to his mother. With a flutter of his cloak, the older Lee Frye son was off.

Ciaran was explaining what his daughter looked like to her then, and her heart softened considerably. He was a worried father who’s nerves were shot, not knowing where his child was. Emilia knew the feeling well when Lucas decided to go off on his tresterian adventures, but this was different. Lucas was a man, Myra was a toddler. She took the items from him, and stepped forward, reaching up to place a hand on Ciaran’s cheek. “Everything is going to be alright, understand? Your family is here now. We take care of our own. We’ll find her.” She told him firmly, giving his cheek a small pat before she turned on her heel and marched down the hall to the sitting room.

Despite her short size, Emilia had the presence of a commanding admirable, and she threw the doors of the sitting room open and headed straight towards the fireplace. There wasn’t a fire burning, but the hearth would still do the job. She dropped to the floor in front of it, her skirts pooling around her as she placed the items in her lap. Her hands held up the small piece of clothing, seeing it was a little dress, and her lips pursed. Ciaran was certainly going to hear about it from his mother. If any of her children without a grandchild, let alone a granddaughter from her, they’d be lucky to see the light of day again.

She held the dress in both hands, taking a deep breath as she focused on the descriptive words Ciaran had given her. “Alright, where are you Myra dear…” She said quietly while she let her eyes gaze upon the ashes of the hearth, allowing her gift to come through, as she quickly looked like she was staring off into space. A distant look in her eyes while she concentrated on the ashes and the put out embers. The corners of her vision began to blur like they always did when she used her gift, and in the place of the ash, it drifted an image of nothing. Just black space. Emilia could feel anticipation starting to claw at her, and her heart began to beat faster. She blinked, pulling herself out of the trance, and tried again. Only to confirm that there was...nothing.

She grabbed the scarf that belonged to Terra, and tried again. Wondering if they were maybe separated. Her hands held the items tight as she searched the ashes for answers, but just like with Myra, she saw nothing for Terra. She couldn’t find them. They were likely away from any flame or hearth, or…. Well Ciaran wasn’t going to like the or, but Emilia’s gift only worked if they were near what she used to see through as her windows. There was still hope. She could send for Lucas, see what he saw, though the likelihood of them being near any glass was slimmer, but if they were near a window… They had to try.

Emilia looked over her shoulder, letting her eyes settled on her nephew. He wasn’t going to like this… She rose to her feet, keeping hold of the items. “I couldn’t see them.” She said deciding to just be out with it rather then beating around the bush. “Meaning they’re not near flames or an hearth, but we have other means of finding them, and we will.” She said adamantly.

[Catriona Lee Frye]

She offered her son a slight smile at his apology, there would be time later- much more time. But right now they were too busy fixing the problem to worry about the blame. This was more than a mistake, more than a silly little indiscretion- even if it had merely started out as one. Two years made this a deliberate omission, two years of actively deciding not to tell her, to tell them. Catriona had always considered them a close family, tightly knit and looking out for one another- it hadn’t even crossed her mind that any of her babies would keep a secret such as this from her, let alone that they had any secrets to keep. It was a shock. She would recover. But would she ever be able to look into her son’s eyes with the same trust ever again?

Eoghann quickly took off, at least one of her sons seemed to listen to her- to behave.

Following her sister into one of the sitting rooms, Catriona didn’t waste any time in lowering herself into one of the many chairs- angled towards the hearth as though she had even the slightest hope of seeing Emilia’s gift take effect. It was useless, of course, Emilia McIntyre ’s magic was visible to her and her alone.

So she sat, and she waited. Catriona held her breath so long that she could feel it burning in her lungs by the time her little sister rose to her feet. It couldn’t be. It was spring, why wouldn’t they be near a fire or flame? Somewhere warm and somewhere safe? Despite the worry, the way fear had driven ice into her heart- the older woman’s face remained a mask. Lucas had already left following dinner, which meant the last family member with even remotely useful magic couldn’t exactly just be called. ”How long have they been missing?” Her voice was cold, expressionless- so unlike the patient warmth and barely hidden humour that so often coloured her tone- Catriona hardly even felt as though she was controlling her own body. Rather, merely watching, detached from the unfolding scene whilst her heart came to terms with the onslaught of news.

She had a granddaughter and she was missing.

[Ciaran Lee Frye]

Worried? He was more than just worried- he was frantic, and he had never felt this wave of emotion before. It was painful, his head was swimming, and on top of it all, he knew the knife he had dug into his mother's heart. He had jabbed and twisted it with keeping this secret for two years, and Ciaran regretted it. Wholeheartedly and without a doubt regretted it. Still, it was too late to take any of it back, there was no way to pave this already rocky road he set himself on. Whatever the reasons were before, he'd kept this from his mother, from his entire family, and he had to own up to it.

He could tell Catriona was forcing herself to keep it together, for now, but the guilt inside only grew. It had, indeed, been a deliberate omission and once the time came to speak of it, Ciaran knew that he wasn't going to know what to say. He had been afraid, he had been worried about soiling the family name, so on and so forth...but were any of those reasons good enough? The pain in his mother's eyes silently told him how much of an idiot he had been, and what this lie might have cost him.

This was a betrayal, is what it was. Of trust, of everything. He knew it.

After handing the items to his aunt, the touch to his cheek comforted him, yet only a small bit. 'Your family is here now. We take care of our own.' But he had left his family in the dark. He left his little family in a damn village with no one else. He didn't deserve to be comforted.

Ciaran followed the women into the sitting room; while his aunt set to work and his mother took a seat, he just began to pace again, wanting to ask every other second if Emilia had found anything. No, he knew he had to be patient, not realizing he had been holding his breath nearly that entire time until she was looking over her shoulder at him.

No. No, this couldn't be happening.

His heart was beginning to speed up again, his chest heaving as though he had just been running and he was filtering fingers through his hair once more, ready to pull out some curls. His jaws began to hurt again from clenching so tightly.

This wasn't fucking happening. What has he done?

Before, he had thought he was having a panic attack, but now? Now, he definitely was after his mother asked him that question without out an ounce of feeling, and he was suffering every single emotion all at once. They were pouring out of him, and Ciaran didn't bother trying to stop it. This was what he was now- and it was sad, it was pathetic, and he was beyond angry for letting himself become so ignorant and blind.

He didn't deserve them. They didn't deserve this.

"I don't know," he finally stammered out in reply. He continued to pace back and forth, unable to stop. "I...I have no idea. It could have been just today, it could have been a couple of days...I don't know!" His voice rose in exasperation but the anger wasn't directed at either of them. Only himself. As with everything. And the panic wouldn't end there.

Pulling at his hair again, his steps paused just long enough so that he could turn towards the exit. "I can't sit here and just...wait. I-I-I have to go, I just-" Ciaran didn't exactly know what he was going to do, but standing there at Lasairdubh wasn't going to help, nor could he wait for however long it would take Lucas to arrive.

He had fucked up, and he couldn't sit idle and simply pray that everything would be alright. Ciaran headed towards the door.

[Emilia McIntyre]

Oh dear...And she thought her nerves could get bad. Emilia’s gaze softened at watching her nephew pace, pulling at his hair. If he wasn’t carefully he was going to rip patches of hair out, and then they would be forced to call him patchy. Her eyes flickered to her sister, waiting for Ciaran to answer her and then let her eyes go back to Ciaran.

He was losing it, and now was not the time for him to be losing his mind. What was he? A weak woman, that broke down over the slightest inconvenience? She thought not. He was a man. He was a Lee-Frye It was time he acted like it. Where was his brother when she wanted him zapped?

As Ciaran moved towards the door, Emilia followed quickly after him. Someone had to be sane right now, and she had to deal with his mother. “Ciaran Lee-Frye wait one moment.” The authority in her voice whipped through the air, and if he stopped she’d march her self right in front of him and then reach up and grab his chin. Tugging him down to her eye level. “Listen to me.” She snapped, no commanded. “Terra and Myra, do not need you like this.” She told him. “They need you to pull yourself together for gods sakes!” She sighed. Glaring at him slightly, before her gaze tightened. “I understand you’re worried, and you’re panicked, but listen, you running around like a chicken with it's head cut off  will not help them.” She explained calmly. Searching his eyes to make sure he was listening. “Here is what I want you to do:” She began slowly.

“I want you to take one of the pigeons, get on your horse, and ride to Terra’s home. I want you to stay there, and wait, until Eoghann comes for you, or Terra and Myra return. If they return, send us the pigeon. We will take care of things here. They need you there. Do I make myself clear?” She asked firmly.

When he seemed to understand his instructions, she released his chin, and squeezed his hand. “We will find them, alright? Have faith.” She told him. “Now go,” She waved his way then and watched him go for a moment, before she picked her skirts up and hurried back in to Cat’s side.

[Catriona Lee Frye]

Little by little, Catriona felt her senses return, felt her control return to her. She still felt a little distant, as though these events were unfolding for another family, to another mother who looked remarkably like her. Catriona had yet to feel the full crushing weight of this betrayal, but she knew it would come- sooner rather than later. And she knew she needed to be alone when it did. ’I don’t know. Her son’s words were fraught with panic, laced with a fear Catriona had only ever imagined… her children had been reckless growing up, but they had never disappeared on her- even when they were away with their patrols, she had always known they were safe. ”We’ll find them.” It was a promise, but her words were still cold- devoid of all warmth and compassion. She wanted to comfort him, to hold Ciaran Lee Frye close and make everything better- that was what Catriona Lee Frye did, she fixed things. She smoothed over the messes her children made, made everything right. But even she didn’t quite know how she was going to fix this particular mess.

Find the girl first, then they would focus on the fallout.

Emilia McIntyre was taking control where Cat could not. Telling Ciaran to go back to Greyshollow, to wait for them. The older woman merely nodded her assent should Ciaran look to her for guidance. And when he did turn to go, to wait in the first place his daughter and her mother would go upon the return- Catriona waited until the door closed and his footsteps had faded before burying her head into her hands and allowing her helf breath to escape in a long, jagged exhale.

”What am I going to do?” She asked, lifting her head and running slender fingers through the length of her loose, dark hair. Catriona was speaking more to herself than the younger woman. This was a mess. A mess with the potential to spiral into scandal. And she couldn’t focus on preventing it, not until she knew the girl was safe. Rising, the Lee Frye strode to the fireplace- taking an elegant and slender box from its place. Her pipe. With practiced movements, instinct, she prepared and lit it- inhaling deeply on the rich smoke and feeling her frayed nerves begin to knit back together.

A moment or two passed before she spoke again, face turned to the fire rather than her sister. ”If she’s our kin, she’ll have the magic- you don’t think…?” Cat said, unable to voice her deepest fear- that the little girl had been taken, taken all the way to the executioner’s block. She was a child. But Catriona knew that wouldn’t stop the mad King.

[Ciaran Lee Frye]

Suddenly, his short aunt was appearing before him and Ciaran paused immediately. Dark eyes blinked, and he struggled to ignore the frantic feeling that simply wouldn't go away. He had no idea where he was going- all he knew was that he couldn't just stand there and wait, relying solely on everyone else. What good was he if he didn't at least try to find them himself? Even if it meant riding through the village and woods in the middle of the night.

Except, doing nothing was precisely what Emilia was suggesting- no, commanding- him to do. He was staring at her, surprise washing over his features as he was, indeed, listening. His girls didn't need him like this? They probably didn't need him at all, because he was completely fucking useless. He had done this to them, whatever has happened, and it wasn't something he could simply get over.

His attention drifted to his mother, a pleading look in his gaze as she still held herself as stoic as she could possibly manage. How was she doing that after what he had just told her, what he had done and lied to her about? Catriona nodded for him to listen to his aunt, and he chewed the inside of his bottom lip in attempts to calm himself. He was always good at masking his emotions despite what he was feeling inside, so he should be able to do so now, right?

Auntie Em was squeezing his hand, drawing him back to the present. 'We will find them, alright?' Ciaran nodded, still appearing a little twitchy but he was at least attempting to calm down. Either that, or he was beginning to hide it better. One more look over his shoulder to Cat, wanting nothing but to apologize a hundred more times, to fall down to her feet and beg for her to understand, to beg for forgiveness, he finally just turned to leave the room and make his way back to Greyshollow.

[ exit Ciaran ]

[Emilia McIntyre]

Emilia was at her sister’s side the moment Ciaran left them. Getting down on her knees besides Cat’s chair as she rested a hand on the arm of it and the other on her sisters shoulder in an attempt at helping ground Cat that she wasn’t alone in this shocking revelation. They were family, and family stood by each other no matter the situation. It was what made the Lee Frye’s and McIntyres so strong, those family ties with unwavering loyalty.

“You’re going to do what you do best Kitty.” Emilia told her immediately. “Seize control of the situation and spin the webs in our favor. This is just a more...delicate matter.” She sighed. She was not envious of her sister in those moments. Emilia would be minus a child if one of her own had dared to pull such a stunt. Two years? That boy had not been thinking.

She leaned back as Cat stood and retrieved her pipe. Emilia sat back on her heels, folding her hands in her lap as she watched Cat. She could sense Cat’s fears, and she pursed her lips, looking at their predicament from all sides. “It’s hard to say what age the gift will come in Kitty. Eoghann was 12 when his did, Ciaran was two. Lucas was what, five or six?” She voiced the wide range of ages that the children’s gifts had come in at. Eoghann had certainly been a late bloomer, and he had confided in Emilia once that he was afraid he didn’t have a gift as his hadn’t shown itself. No one really knew when their Gramarye would make itself known.

“Besides that,” She pushed herself to her feet, approached the fireplace where Cat was standing. Coming up beside her as her dark eyes looked up at her. “Your boy has kept her hidden from even us, for this long. Surely he’s been cautious, or would know to be cautious.” She reasoned. Trying to think on the brighter side of things. If Myra had been taken...well, the whole force of the Lee Frye’s would be upon the fool who dared try.