Girl Talk

[Rosemary McIntyre]

Rosie was late--she'd missed breakfast after taking the time to chat for Ioana about what was going on. She didn't regret it, not in the least, but she did feel a bit guilty that she was shirking her duties again. She took an extra moment in her room to grow some purple cosmos for the princess before she went to her. She presented the bouquet to Cera Le'Orin with an apologetic smile. It wasn't much, but she always liked to keep the princess and her rooms supplied with flowers to brighten the atmosphere and her day. It was just a little way of showing her affection.

"I hope you can forgive my absence the last few days, Princess. Things have been getting a little out of hand." She grimaced slightly, realizing that she was glossing over the morbidity and danger of it all--and the possible romance, as well. It was actually rather strange timing; she'd managed to catch Cera alone in her room. In fact… perhaps this was a good time to catch her up on all that had happened and get her thoughts as well. As much as she loved dear Ioana, she suspected that the Princess's perspective on things would be much different.

"Um...If you like, I can tell you all about it...but I'll have to swear you to secrecy, as well. It's not something that I'd like to have swirling around the castle. Not that the other ladies aren't wonderful, but…" She trailed off meaningfully. "I'm sure you of all people understand."


Cosmos symbolize peace, order, and modesty.

[Cera Le'Orin]

"They're beautiful. Thank you," she told her lady as she brought the flowers to her face to gently inhale their fragrance. The smile upon her face broadened as she set about to get a vase of water for them and set them upon the table in her quarters.

Rosemary wasn't the type to simply vanish without word. She was kind and honest, and Cera always felt like she could depend upon her. So, when she was late to things, it often made the princess more worried than annoyed, and she was trying not to just come out and question her about what was going on. Perhaps, as her "employer", she had a right to ask...but as a friend, she liked to believe even she had to earn that right.

"It's quite alright, Rosie," she assured her. Cera's expression sobered a little as the vase of flowers were finally set down. She admired them for a moment before giving her maid her complete, undivided attention. "You are always welcome to tell me things, or not tell me things. But I am always here if you need to speak, my friend." A hand gestured toward one of the empty chairs around that very table if she wished to take a seat. "It is just the two of us for awhile." And even if one of the other girls happened to come back early, Cera would have no problem with politely dismissing them.

It was not difficult to see that something was going on, and if Rosemary needed someone to talk to, Cera would gladly listen and help in any way possible. The gods know the girl has already done that and more for her princess.

[Rosemary McIntyre]

Rosemary smiled softly and took a seat as Cera offered. She probably should have known that the princess would encourage her to talk but not force her, and yet she was still surprised by her kindness. It almost made her want to cry, just for a moment, knowing she had a friend like that. She'd been lonely for quite a long time before finding a place here with Cera. She ought to open up to her more often, really… It was good for both of them to have a friend.

"Thank you, truly. I think...I need to talk some of this through out-loud to make sense of it. And perhaps you'll have a better perspective on things than me. I'm so caught up in the thick of it, I can't see the forest for the trees, so to speak." She sighed. "I suppose…I suppose I'd better start at the beginning. It's a long story, and if at any point you decide this is a bad idea and you need me to stop, just say the word."

She sighed heavily again and reflexively tucked her hair behind her ears to get it out of her eyes. And with that, she was ready to begin. Or at least, as ready as one could be to spill most of their secrets in one sitting. Sure, she'd be leaving out the biggest one, but that didn't make this any less nerve-wracking.

"You know that I was engaged, I'm sure. And you know that it ended badly. The part that I don't usually tell is why." She set her hands on the table, picking at her cuticles so she didn't have to make eye contact. She trusted Cera, but just thinking about Magnus, what he had done, what she'd allowed him to do...it made her feel small and unworthy. "He was jealous, violently so. At first, I tried to do as he wished, to make him happy, but then he was hurting me more and more often… He might have killed me if we hadn't been interrupted."

"After things ended, he went away. To avoid gossip, maybe? But since he's been back, he's been leaving things for me. Notes, gifts, flowers...It started out sweet. Innocent seeming. But once I figured out it was him and started rejecting the gifts instead of keeping them, things took a turn. Two days ago, he left a venomous snake in a gift box outside my room."

"It was stupid of me to open it, I know that now...but at the time I just assumed it would be more dead flowers or something, I suppose. I screamed and dropped the box. The adder would have bitten me if a guard hadn't stepped in… But not just any. It was the guard's captain. And the snake bit him instead." She glanced up at that, wondering what Cera would think, then went back to making her thumb bleed.

"I couldn't exactly hide what had been happening, with him injured. So I told him what had been going on. And he had a plan to stop it. The idea was that he and I were going to fake a relationship, to draw Magnus out, like bait. But um. That...that's not quite what happened."

She dropped her hands into her lap, curling up even more into herself. She'd been silly. She shouldn't have let things go the way she did, should she? It was more than a little improper, not to mention that she wasn't sure how she felt about it at all. But she'd set out to get Cera's thoughts specifically on this part, so she couldn't stop now.

"He kissed me," she blurted out, then looked up at her friend, letting her see her bright red face properly for the first time since she began her story. "And I definitely kissed back. And...I asked him to stay in my room because I was frightened and lonely, and I didn't want to sleep alone, and we almost--we almost--we--Aaaah." She set her elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands. "It sounds so much worse when I say it out loud. I've hardly even been talking to him for two days. But it was just so nice to not face it alone, for once, and he really was sweet..."

[Cera Le'Orin]

It was difficult to know who she could trust. She had ladies come and go, and most had been very pleasant and kind...but not all had been trustworthy, and it had been a shame. She never got these ill feelings with Rosemary, though, and felt as though they could become very close if the woman needed a friend as well. She could certainly use one, especially now.

Once Rosie had settled into her chair, Cera did the same; remaining patient and calm. If after a long moment, her maid did not say anything, the princess would change the subject as though it hadn't been a big deal. However, it would appear as though she did need to talk, and her bright gaze never faltered as she listened intently.

A hand reached across the table to pat one of Rosie's in reassurance. "It's quite alright. Take your time."

Cera didn't know why she seemed nervous and a little anxious to hear whatever Rosemary had to say, and she didn't know what she had been expecting...but it certainly hadn't been all of that. To be honest, it took her a bit off guard and she was trying not to look as shocked as she felt. She wasn't at all judging anything she was saying, but she also didn't know how to handle it.

She was concerned and frightened for her. She gasped at the mention of the snake, only going quiet at the mention of a guard stepping into the situation. As Rosemary looked up, Cera's eyes were still on her, unwavering and filled with worry. Yes, she had known she was married before, but she hadn't known the reason for why it ended. Perhaps, she just assumed the man had passed away, or it simply hadn't worked out. But this? This was horrifying, and no woman should have to deal with any of it.

Then the story changed...for the better? She was unsure. Remaining silent this whole time, her lips pursed in thought before a gentle gasp fled past them. They had kissed. She and this...guard captain. Rosie hadn't mentioned a name and Cera was trying to remember the faces and names of all the captains she knew, wanting to ask. She refrained, of course, especially at seeing the blush that spread across her friend's cheeks.

A slight flush began to tint her own cheeks as Rosemary continued. Oh. Oh my...

As the woman buried her face within her hands, Cera continued to sit there speechless. What should she say? That was a territory she had never strayed down before, one she barely ever thought about. It was almost embarrassing to think about, let alone admit to so she didn't say anything right away.

"Sometimes...time doesn't matter," she finally spoke up, hoping that made sense. "I think, sometimes...you just know. If you feel safe or comfortable, feel this connection...in any aspect, really, could it really be wrong?"

[Rosemary McIntyre]

Rosemary sighed heavily. The princess's words were a relief in some ways--she hadn't reacted the way Rosemary's father might have, by calling her a harlot, not the way Luc would have, by scolding her. But what she said, it still didn't quite fit. It did, though, direct her a little closer to what was bothering her.

"Well, that's just it. I do feel safe with Bastian, but I don't know that I feel more of a connection than that...at least not yet. I think I could, perhaps...but it's so difficult to tell. He's...distant, sort of." She frowned and shook her head. "And I don't want to take advantage of him or rush into things, if I'm not serious about it, but I just... I really don't know. It's hard to explain. With Magnus, I felt a connection right away. I know now that the good things about him weren't nearly enough to outweigh the bad, but, it was different than this. It was electric… Not that I want anything to be the same as that, either…"

"And then, on top of it all, if I were to be serious about it, it would be insanely complicated, seeing as he's a guard and my father is my father. The more I think about it, the more I just feel I made a terrible mistake, and maybe I should have just been bitten by that snake myself and saved everyone a load of trouble."

She trailed off again and gave the princess an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure I'm not making any sense. My mind and my heart are such a jumble, I'm hardly sure which is which, right now. It happened so fast, I'm only now starting to process it all."

Seeing as she hadn't even included the fact that she was hearing voices when she was alone, saying her mind was a "jumble" was a major understatement. If she were to put it more graphically, she felt as if she'd been living on top of a powder keg all this time, and it had finally gone off. Her life and her sanity were in shambles.

[Cera Le'Orin]

She wondered many things. To begin, she wondered what she could do, as princess, to possibly apprehend this Magnus, her friend's ex-husband. Was there anything she could do? Was there any proof to use against the man? Cera wanted to ask all of this but figured she needed to slow her brain down and concentrate on one thing at a time. And Rose was clearly distraught for so many reasons.

Strangely, she couldn't help but wonder what it was like...to have and feel that type of connection. Perhaps, because she was already betrothed to another, a man she never met, that the idea hadn't occurred her. She wasn't allowed such a luxury as falling in love if her father had anything to do with it.

Blue eyes blinked as they focused back on Rosemary while she tried to explain further. 'He's...distant, sort of.' The princess huffed out a gentle laugh through her nose. "Well, you are not wrong there." It had taken a lot for Cera to get the man to talk, to even say a few words. She assumed Rosie got a few more out of him, considering this entire conversation.

Her brow furrowed lightly then, a sadness contorting her features. Even if she herself hadn't experienced this kind of attraction to another, she still seemed to understand her lady. At the mention of the snake again, though, she was swiftly reaching for her hand again, shaking her head immediately. "Do not say such things, Rosie. Do not." It wasn't an order, but a gentle plea. "But I...at least understand the situation with title and station. I am to be wed to no one but a prince or king, because that is apparently my worth despite how I feel about it." A gentle sigh, she didn't bother to continue with that topic. This was Rosemary's time.

"But there is nothing that says you must rush anything. If you are unsure, then that is that. You take the time you need." Cera paused for a moment, hesitating before she spoke again. She lowered her voice a little as if she were worried someone might overhear. "Unless...he is rushing you?" She didn't want to say Sebastian's name out loud, nor did she want to think he would possibly be like that towards someone, especially Rosie.

[Rosemary McIntyre]

"Unless...he is rushing you?"

Rosemary opened her mouth to protest, then stopped. Huh. Well, if anything, they both had been rushing a little. She'd been in a hurry to prove she was fine, that she could be happy without Magnus, and it seemed like Bastian had been seeking comfort just as desperately as she.

"Well...no? I don't think he meant to, at least. I did encourage him, at first..." Her face turned bright red as she thought back over what had happened. "I um… I hit my limit, and he honored that." She'd been nervous, but not unhappy, not at first. And Bastian was certainly handsome, nothing to turn your nose up at… But once her memories of Magnus had risen back up, not to mention the scars, she'd hit her limit. And she wasn't sure Bastian had understood.

She pressed her cold fingers to her burning cheeks and sighed. "I don't mean to cause such chaos, truly I don't. But how do I tell someone what I want or don't want if I haven't any idea what that is? I just want...I want to feel safe, and I haven't felt that in so very long. So once I did, I just… I didn't want to let it go. Whether it was fair to Bastian or not I don't know." Her voice cracked and she took a gulping breath, trying to swallow the urge to cry. She fumbled hurriedly for her handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Cera--Princess--I--" She dropped her head back to look at the ceiling for a moment and took a deep breath to reset herself. "I'm getting carried away. It's just that I feel awful for behaving the way I did--not only will my family have an absolute fit when they hear that a man was in my room overnight, but I may also have been leading him on in all this. I just wish I could untangle all this--this--nonsense in my head. I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore." She sniffled and dabbed at her eyes.

"For what it's worth, you are worth the very best--but I'm not so sure that a title has anything to do with that." She smiled softly. "You're more than a princess, after all. You're a clever, beautiful woman, and an excellent, very patient, friend.

[Cera Le'Orin]

The princess was a little bit out of her element, and she'd be embarrassed to admit such, yet that didn't mean she wasn't going to listen to her lady and offer whatever advice she might possibly have. She felt horrible that she could not do any more than that.

'I did encourage him, at first...' Cera pressed her lips together, especially at seeing how red Rosemary's face was beginning to get. If this didn't seem to be such a delicate situation, it would certainly be an intriguing and steamy story- one you might read in a romance novel with all the danger and chivalry. As Rosie continued, saying that she had "hit her limit", she nodded slowly in understanding. After what she had just explained to her, it made sense, and she was glad to hear that the captain had listened. Most men would not have.

The smile that curled Cera's face was one of consolation, allowing her friend to vent as much as she needed. "Maybe...you just say exactly what you told me?" she suggested. "This sounds like a rather...complicated situation, so no one should expect- not even you- to know how to react right away. And if he can't get that, then, well..." She sat back in her seat a little offering a small shrug of a single shoulder. "Then he is not the one to pursue. You just need to be as honest and to the point as you can." Was she making any sense? She wasn't sure, but honesty was always something everyone should use. Otherwise, everything would just continue to spiral out of control. "Perhaps, step back, take a deep breath...and I know you'll figure it out. It may not be now or tomorrow, but you will, I just know it."

Her expression faltered a little when Rosemary changed the topic to her and she let her gaze drop to the tabletop between them for a moment. "Thank you, Rosie. Sometimes I wish my father would realize it, but..." She tried shrugging the thought away again. "My fate is sealed." When she brought those bright blues back up, she managed to mask much of her sadness and disdain towards the king and his decisions.

Leaning forward, she whispered as though she were about to share some big secret, "At least, it seems I can live vicariously through you." Cera waggled her brows in gesture. She wasn't trying to make light of Rosemary's situation at all, because she understood the seriousness of it. However, she was hoping to put the girl a little more at ease and possibly cheer her up a little.