Orion
35
Unmarried
Marquis | Tutor
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Post by Pearce Lockheed on Nov 26, 2020 16:21:27 GMT -5
Pearce blushed bearing Zander return his feelings. It was both a relief and it made butterflies flutter through his stomach.
The marquis purposefully avoided going into any detail ever. Once had been enough. And everytime after that. Amd everytime in his nightmares, waking and sleeping. It had taken a long time to get to a point where that wasn't what he saw at night. Talking about it...hell, even attenpting to graze the surface made him fear nightmares again.
He smiled gratefully as Zander spoke, taking the initiative to explain a specific memory. He shook his head, listening quietly as the boy explained the moment. Pearce circled his arms around Zander loosely, rubbing his thumbs on his upper arms. His chest felt both heavy and hollow at the same time as he listened.
He didn't know what to say so he kissed the boy behind his ears and on the back of his neck. "You're a brave man, Zander. Even when you were young."
"My father told me that whatever wasn't given should be taken." There was a positive vein in there about seizing opportunities. But his father had twisted the notion to fit his own wants. Pearce's words were quiet and slow, half mumbled into Zander's hair. "Even when he pushed me around, he used to put me to bed almost every night when I was little. I thought..." he grimaced. It was the nicest memory he had of the man. "I don't know when exactly, or why, but he would...put his hands on me. A little. And I got uses to it because he was my dad. But then when I was twelve or so..." his arms twitched tighter around the boy. "He...took what he wanted," he winced.
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Ollie
19
Dating a nobleman
Infantry Soldier
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Post by Zander Brogthamon on Nov 26, 2020 16:40:14 GMT -5
When told he was brave Zander almost wanted to scoff. "There's a fine line between bravery and stupidity." He stated a bit bitterly. "A frail, sick, twelve year old boy trying to fight an ex soldier isn't brave." His fingers traced over the scar for a second. Over a foggy memory he couldn't pull out.
"He honestly might have killed me that night had my mother not called for help." Zander didn't remember other farmers pulling his father off of his limp body. Didn't remember his mother and another healer trying to stop his bleeding or start his breathing again. Like his mind wouldn't allow him to access anything past shoving his father or waking up in the neighbors shed on his mothers lap.
The thought of taking what you want wasn't a foreign idea to the redhead. It was a similar philosophy his father often preached. Of letting nothing and no one get in your way. Destroy what and who you must to take what you want. Still, as Pearce continued to talk his brow furrowed in confusion before things clicked. His body began to tremble as his 'wants' became dark, violent. Zander grit his teeth to work past those feelings. Now wasn't a time to get angry, it wouldn't provide any solution.
Though there really wasn't a solution. As far as he was aware the man was dead. That was why Pearce was head of his family now. Even if Zander wanted to rip a hole through his father he wouldn't be able to now. Still, he was unsure of anything to say that wouldn't be from anger. Instead he took a deep breath and nuzzled his face into the crook of Pearces neck. "I love you." It was all he could think to say that wouldn't feel violent or selfcentered.
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Orion
35
Unmarried
Marquis | Tutor
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Post by Pearce Lockheed on Nov 26, 2020 16:56:25 GMT -5
"A very fine line," he agreed, forcing a chuckle. "Still brave, though," he noted encouragingly. Certainly Pearce had never managed to stand up to his own father when he should have. Neither had anyone else in his family, however.
Preston Lockheed was very, very dead. Pearce hadn't seen it happen, but he had seen his father's body. Been torn with a feeling of sadness and self-loathing, along with relief and immense guilt. He had loved his father because how could he not? But he had also hated him. More than he had hated anyone. He'd overseen the funeral in a strange emotional fog, assumed control of the estates (what was left after the war), become responsible for a family that had never understood him or helped him, and, somehow, was finally able to be himself. IT had been terrifying. Of course his father's shadow loomed over him for a while. It still did some days.
The marquis didn't move. Didn't let go of Zander, didn't manage to make any words in the silence and even after Zander's decree of affection, he felt...it felt wrong. Yes, maybe that was what he wanted Zander to say and it made his heart flutter in his chest, selfishly, but he couldn't really mean that? Knowing what had happened to him? Pearce shook his head. How... "You can't mean that," he whispered, confused. "I'm not...not..."
He grimaced and shifted slightly, but he didn't let go of the boy in his lap, if anything holding him tighter (and perhaps not comfortably so) because he didn't know what else to do or say after that.
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Ollie
19
Dating a nobleman
Infantry Soldier
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Post by Zander Brogthamon on Nov 26, 2020 20:32:33 GMT -5
As Pearce seemed to deny Zanders feelings the redhead felt his entire body tense. There were very few things in his life that felt like they made sense. Very few things he felt sure of. One of the few things he was sure of without a shadow of a doubt was how he felt about the marquis.
"You're not what?" He asked in a very uncharacteristically serious tone. "You're not wonderful? Not intelligent? Not sweet and gentle and the most amazing man I've ever had the pleasure of meeting?" Zander shifted slightly in the mans lap and gently cupped his face in his hands.
"You feel more like home to me than any place I've ever been. You are who I want to run to when my mind searches for peace. The first time you looked at me it was like flowers grew in my chest. It's turned into a garden only you have been able to tend to." Zander wasn't much for sentiments. It was often hard to verbally express how he was feeling. Words were difficult and often became jumbled and misshapen in his mouth. Now though it seemed they spilled out of his mouth like a broken dam.
"Don't ever doubt my love for you. It's the only thing I'm certain of."
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Orion
35
Unmarried
Marquis | Tutor
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Post by Pearce Lockheed on Nov 26, 2020 21:35:23 GMT -5
Pearce smiled shyly. He was those things. Well, he wasn't so sure about amazing or wonderful and would have to take Zander's word for it. But it wasn't what he meant. Not that the redhead gave him a chance to refute or correct him. That was probably for the better. He met Zander's gaze nervously but his smile grew more and more confident (and more and more embarrassed) with every word.
"Hearing you quote p-poetry, original or otherwise, it quite attractive," he attempted to tease gently. It was a lot of emotional insight all at once from the boy and while the marquis didn't need to hear it to know those things...there waa something about confirming it out loud.
"Thank you, Zander. I love you too," he said, finally returning the idea he had denied a few moments ago. "I'm certain too." That was sort of why he wanted the boy to dominate him for a change. That sort of thing was beyond significant for the blonde.
He pressed a swift kiss on Zander's nose and then leaned back a bit, clearing his throat. "Um...can I ask you to do something?" He felt less awkward and nervous mentally but his body didn't agree.
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Ollie
19
Dating a nobleman
Infantry Soldier
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Post by Zander Brogthamon on Nov 26, 2020 21:45:53 GMT -5
Zander wasn't normally the sappy type. Maybe it was his nerves or exhaustion getting to him. Maybe it was the poetry books he'd picked up reading when work was slow. Now though he felt a little odd. The tease about him quoting some poetry was enough to make his face burn red. "I've been trying to read more in my off time." Trying and more or less succeeding. Most of the time. It only served to prove just how well he'd been taught.
Still, nothing that happened before they met changed how Zander looked at Pearce. So he was glad the man didn't try and refute it.
The kiss on his nose caused his face to feel warmer until Pearce leaned back. Zander tilted his head curiously before trying to give a playful smile. "Depends, is there anything deeply embarrassing that you want me to do?"
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Orion
35
Unmarried
Marquis | Tutor
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Post by Pearce Lockheed on Nov 26, 2020 23:30:50 GMT -5
Whatever it was, Pearce found it immensely endearing. Zander might be quick to recognize his teacher but the marquis was more proud for him. And pleased and embarrassed the boy chose to use his skill for his own benefit. "That's great."
Maybe it explained his demeanor a bit more. Pearce certainly hoped it explained why he was often so uncomfortable and why it was a big deal for Zander to react how he had. The redhead might be used to violence. Pearce was no stranger either. That didn't mean he condoned it or liked seeing it. If anything it was something he knew made him more anxious and that alone was reason to avoid it. Heavens knew Pearce didn't need more anxiety.
He blushed. Psychic wizard. "Only if you do it in p-public. A relaxing...deep massage in private would never embarrass me. Not with you."
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Ollie
19
Dating a nobleman
Infantry Soldier
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Post by Zander Brogthamon on Nov 29, 2020 19:56:04 GMT -5
The blush on the marquis face was enough to make a mischievous grin pull on Zanders lips. "I think that can be arranged." He offered with a chuckle.
While violence seemed to man Pearce panic and anxious Zander had found a peace in it. There was familiarity, a morbid comfort he hadn't found anywhere else. Of course he'd found a sort of comfort and home in being with Pearce but nothing filled the same space that fighting did.
"Did you want to do that here? Or would you prefer to go in the room?" Going to bed seemed nice. Though he'd want to check on his sister first to make sure she was asleep. Still, he slowly peppered Pearces face with gentle and playful kisses.
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Orion
35
Unmarried
Marquis | Tutor
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Post by Pearce Lockheed on Nov 29, 2020 22:31:38 GMT -5
Pearce loved seeing that smile on Zander's face. He snorted softlt at the notion of doing such a thing in his office. Not that he wasn't comfortable, but there were not exactly a lot of soft surfaces.
He knew the young man would wnt to check on his sister and perhaps do a few other things before turning in for the night. "I know it is a bit early. I'll meet you in bed when you're ready," he said gently, returning the affection with his own kisses before encouraging the redhead up and off his lap.
He was looking forward to a moment alone to finish panicking. And then looking forward even more to spending the night with his lover.
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Ollie
19
Dating a nobleman
Infantry Soldier
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Post by Zander Brogthamon on Nov 30, 2020 3:54:49 GMT -5
He moved off of Pearces lap with a playful reluctant whine of protest. It was earlier than they'd normally be going to bed certainly but after the night they'd had he figured it was deserved. Still, there was a routine to keep to. And Zander worked best with a routine.
"I'll see you there." It would also be nice to get a moment of calm with his sister. To know things were okay and normal. In at least one aspect. Though this wasn't exactly something he could talk to her about even if he wanted to.
Still, he made his way back to the little carriage house. Making sure Briella ate and finished her writing work for the night. Once she was in bed he took Whisky for a run to burn off the pups energy. The last thing he wanted to deal with currently was a pent up pup causing chaos. He did that well enough on his own. Once everything was out of the way and the sky had gotten a good bit darker than when he left the redhead checked on his sister one last time before making his way back to spend some well deserved privacy with his lover.
[Thread End]
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