It's Okay

[Ronan "Kitten" Lynch]

Ronan didn't hate his job. He wouldn't say it was something he wanted to do for the rest of his life but he didn't hate it. He loved the other girls and some of his regular clients were so sweet.

Still, there were days Ronan needed to get away. Get out of the brothel, away from everyone, just to be alone. After a particularly rough client it seemed that today was one of those days. He'd told the others he needed a break and they understood. In a loose white tunic and black pants he felt much less like himself but it was less conspicuous. The woods were safer. Well, not entirely but they certainly felt safer. A place he could be alone.

As he sat under a tree he hissed as his back met the bark. Everything felt so overwhelming. He barely noticed tears running down his face until one hit the back of his hand. With a trembling breath and shaking hands he rubbed the tears from his face before rubbing at his sore shoulders. When he heard footsteps coming towards him he nearly jumped out of his skin.



Sebastian Arcturis

[Sebastian Arcturis]

Sebastian had been reminded of an old friend recently. One he hadn't thought of in almost a year. He knew himself to be a distant person, someone who struggled to invest in others or to even just connect with them. It hadn't made sense to him to ever visit the man before, in fact, on account of him being dead and all and not really able to care about visitors. But Sebastian also rralized that forgetting about it served even less purpose.

So he mentioned making the trip to Baird and once the other guardsman had gotten over his own shock, he agreed. The captain knew he would. While he hadn't been friends with the man in the same way, he knew him and he arguably meant more to Baird than Sebastian. The site wasn't far. Close enough to walk to in a day and while Sebastian had a lot on his mind and a lot to get off his chest, most of it was done in silence. One of them cried silently. One of them knelt in the dirt. One of them left red knitted scarf tied to the marker. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them needed to.

They took in the view until fireflies started winking around them in the fading light and Sebastian realized neither of them planned to be home tonight. "I need a drink," Baird said finally. It wasn't that then two shared a code, but Sebastian knew his friend well enough to know he meant a drink away from home. Away from thoughts of his family. Caelfal was the nearest town over. He knew a place to get drinks. And more than that but he suspected Baird wouldn't like more than that. Not right now. Sebastian led the way back toward the city but they didn't stop, continuing east toward the next village over.

The sun set slowly, casting long shadows that stretched out in front of them on the trail. It was mostly hiked in silence. Sebastian wasn't the talkative sort and Baird had a lot more grief to deal with than he would care to share. At least not right now whie things were fresh again.

"Has it really been a year?"

"Nearly."

"I...don't 'member the sound of her laugh."

Sebastian wasn't sure why that mattered. But it must matter or Baird wouldn't mention it. He was silent a moment. "Like Blake."

Baird snorted dismissively. "Can't 'member what her laugh sounds like either." He glanced at his captain and narrowed his eyes. "In fact...I don't rightly know you've ever heard my wife laugh."

He wasn't wrong. He had been attempting a joke. What was he supposed to say to a man who had lost his daughter and fucked up his marriage? Sebastian doubted even people who bonded with others better would know. "I-"

"Arcturus, tell me you wish you'd been there one more time an' you won't be makin' it back on this trip. It's not..." he trailed off and held out a hand to Bastian's chest to stop both of them up short.

The captain heard it then too. Baird wasn't the only one in need of an emotional release tonight.

Baird left his hand on Sebastian's chest as he took a few steps off the trail, aptly taking point on the comfort front. The captain scanned the trail and the woods around them, suddenly on alert.

"Sorry fer interuptin' ya. Are you alright?" He had taken a few steps toward the tree with the small figure circled up beneath it, circling wide to give both of them space. He kept his hands out gently.

[Ronan "Kitten" Lynch]

There were voices along with the footsteps coming towards him. One of the voices sounded familiar but he couldn't pinpoint where he'd heard it before. In Ronans line of work a lot of voices became far too familiar to him. Though this didn't sound like one of his clients. Who was it? The last thing he wanted was someone seeing him weeping like a child under a tree.

Still, as he tried to regain some sort of composure he couldn't stop himself. As a man approached him Ronan quickly, and less than gracefully, scrambled to his feet. Quickly he tried to wipe the tears from his face as a hiccup bubbled past his lips. "I-I'm fine." Though the way his voice wavered betrayed him. As his eyes wandered past the stranger they landed on a familiar looking figure.

It took a moment for his stressed rattled brain to recognize him in the dim lighting but once he did his eyes widened a bit. "Fun police..." A laugh that had no mirth to it escaped him as more tears started running down his face. There was some relief in knowing at least one of them. Or at the very least knowing he wouldn't be attacked. But it was a strange relief that only seemed to heighten his sensitivity.

He used the sleeve of his tunic to wipe the tears from his face again still trying to put on some semblance of normalcy. That everything was in fact okay and that he wasn't in pain and overwhelmed.

[Sebastian Arcturis]

Sebastian furrowed his brow at the words. Why wdre those familiar? He took a few steps arou d the side of the tree and then frowned. Not because he recognized the young man, but because he understood immediately why he might be upset. Because this time, no one had veen there to step in the way. Fate didn't seem to allow them to meet while the man was fine.

Baird didnt move any closer once the man moved, clearly sensing some distrust there and not wanting the guy to bolt. He glanced between the stranger and his captain and raised any eyebrow. Had he not just been crying himself and still struggling with grief, he would have made a rude comment about the guy knowing Bastian's true name. But he was feeling a little more sensitive than usually and went with a simple, "I see you know each other," to which Sebastian didn't flinch. Normal teasing he could handle.

"Look, lad, he's not all that bad, ya know? Mean, sure he's police but he-"

"Baird. Do not bother," he growled. He was more or less accepting of his image. People didn't need to find him fun. "Ronan. What's wrong?" He asked the question because he cared, but his tone suggested otherwise.

The other soldier shrugged amd looked back to the stranger who was clearly not alright. "You hurt, Ronan?" Baird's tone, on the other hand, was that of a father both worried his kid was hurt and assuring them that no matter how scary the fall had been, they would live through it.

"Ya need help gettin' somewhere? Or a ride?" Yes, he was in fact offering the stranger a ride on his back. Sebastian gave his friend a confused looked.

[Ronan "Kitten" Lynch]

The man trying to explain that Sebastian wasn't 'all that bad' went in one ear and out the other. It didn't matter how good or bad the man was. He'd helped Ronan before which was all that really mattered. Though it seemed they weren't allowed to meet under normal circumstances. What were normal circumstances to meet someone for a prostitute?

It felt like angry wasps were rattling around his skull. When he heard the man say his name, his birth name, though it caught his attention. What was wrong? What wasn't wrong? He wanted to say nothing. Wanted to say everything was fine and they could continue about their business. He took another trembling breath as he wrapped him arms around himself. "I'm sore." He managed out not even attempting to wipe away the tears anymore. What was the point?

The question if he was hurt made him pause. He'd been bleeding before he left Candlelights. That counted as being hurt right? The girls never would have let him leave if they knew. They'd have demanded he stay and get taken care of. Relax in his room for the night but he didn't want to stay in the brothel. Didn't want to stay in his room.

He swallowed hard and nodded before there was another question. There was no where he needed to be. He'd planned to come out to the woods just to get away. "I don't...I don't wanna be a bother." Sebastian had already helped him once. He didn't want to owe another person any favors.

[Sebastian Arcturis]

Good or bad didn't matter much to the captain either. He didn't need to convince himself he was a good person just so he could sleep at night. He had a job to do and a family to take care of and that was what mattered.

Sebastian wasn't sure what that had to do with crying. His own pain tolerance was high and hadn't culminated in tears since he was little. But he realized people took things differently and that Ronan wasn't really talking to Baird but to him. Sebastian didn't know ronan very well, and while the guy was a bit whiny, he figured he had to have a thick skin with his profession. That Ronan was even talking about it and even admitted he was hurt suggested he was more than just sore. Walking here couldn't have been comfortable. But he also imagined staying at a place that allowed people to do that to him also wasn't comfortable.

Baird was a lot quicker to jump to helping despite not knowing very much. He squatted next the Ronan and encouraged him to sit back down before going through his pockets for the bandaged and herbs he carried. There was something both frustrating and likeable about how stupidly prepared the guy was.

Sebastian finally stepped over and put his hand out for Baird's medical kit which he got with only slight hesitstion. "Wait back at the trail, Baird." It was the other man's turn to be confused but after another look he walked off, clearly a little aggitated he wasn't allowed to help.

Whether Ronan sat down again or not, Sebastian did, leaning against the tree and stretching as if to make himself comfortable for a long sit. He gestured with the pack in his hand. "Any of this helpful or would you rather not talk about it?" His implication with the word 'this' was twofold. The bandages and herbs as well as talking about what might have happened.

"If it were up to me, I'd leave you alone. But my friend has a soft spot for tears." And officer or not, Sebastian would do a lot for Baird.

[Ronan "Kitten" Lynch]

Ronan was more than a little confused when the other man crouched down. As much as he liked seeing something good in everyone there was a point even for him that was distrustful. If he'd met Baird any other time he might have offered the man a drink or tried to laugh with him about something. This wasn't any other time though. This was a vulnerable state for him and he was hesitant to say the least.

It wasn't necessarily the pain that was making him cry. Physical pain was easy to deal with on its own. When coupled with his stress and anxiety it became a terrible mixture. It didn't help that he was sensitive. As much as the girls seemed to like it Ronan did not. They thought it was 'cute' and 'amazing' how he was ever so connected to his emotions. He didn't want to cry in front of other people though. It made him feel weak.

He wasn't sure how comfortable he was letting the stranger patch him up. So when Sebastian told Baird to wait up at the trail he felt relieved. As Sebastian took a seat Ronan fidgeted for just a moment. Debating on if it was okay to take his help. The man offered and he seemed pretty straight forward with...well everything. No real hidden intentions or plans. With a soft sigh he slowly removed his shirt with another pained hiss. Once his tunic was off it revealed deep scratch down his back and along his chest. Bite marks dabbed with dried blood starting to form bruises along his neck and down his right shoulder. A light hand shaped bruise around this throat and rope burn snaking around his skin, mostly around his wrists, hips, and just under his chest.

Ronan settled himself in front of the captain with his back to him. The scratches along his back were dotted with dried blood as well but still seemed to prick with fresh blood. If he got blood on his tunic he was going to be very upset. "The girls will be upset if they find out." Find out that he wasn't taking proper care of himself or that he was still taking on rougher clients without telling anyone? Probably both. The mention that the stranger had a soft spot for tears made him cringe. "I wish neither of you had seen me like this." He wished no one would ever see him like this.

[Sebastian Arcturis]

Sensitive was one way to put it. Sebasrian certainly equated Ronan more to a woman than to a man. Not because of his job, but from the way he acted. Needless to say Sebastian was the opposite of sensitive. He was quite distant from his emotions, largely on purpose.

He was straightforward. That didn't mean he was incapable of dishonesty. This would be the second time Ronan owed him a favor. He wasn't trying to earn them, but he would collect eventually, he wouldn't lie about that.

Ronan removed his shirt and Bastian shifted his gaze over each of the injuries, studying impassively. He'd want stitches on some of that slash. And the herbs would help with infection and healing but not so much on the pain. The bruises he couldn't help with. Or the rope burn. Actually, no, the yarrow Rosemary had given him for his arm...he pulled the small tin from his pocket. Now who was the prepared one?

He only grunted uncaringly. Seemed to Sebastian that Ronan should talk to his family but he really didn't care. "This will sting," he warned before taking his shoulder and then massaging some of the salve into the rope burns and the bruises and the smaller open wounds. His tough was surprisingly gentle

He worked quietly and without further comment. Ronan might find it uncomfortable but Sebastian didn't see any reason to make it that way. He wasn't a healer but he had done some light patching up plenty of times. He finished with the salve on his back and then inspected the larger slashes. "Do you want stitches?" He asked. "You need a few."

[Ronan "Kitten" Lynch]

Sebastian wouldn't be the first person to consider Ronan more of a woman than a man. It didn't help that even he was referred to as 'one of the girls' at the brothel. When he'd first started working that idea had upset him. That he wasn't as much of a man as anyone else. Now though he didn't mind. If being more of a woman meant he was gentle and trustworthy then so be it.

He suspected that the captain would ask for his help eventually. It would only be fair after all. Though not knowing what he would want made him anxious he didn't want to think about it at the moment. Talking to his brothers was not an option in his mind. The less people who knew about what happened at his job the better. All he wanted to do was make money to help take care of the people he loved. It was why he started working at the brothel in the first place. Ronan knew he was soft and pretty and people liked that. Selling his body was easier than anything else he'd tried.

He was grateful for the warning as he bit back a pained whimper. It wasn't the first time he'd needed someone to help patch him up. Though he was more grateful that Sebastian decided not to talk. Ronan wasn't particularly in the mood to talk about anything seeing as he'd come out to the woods to be alone. Crying in front of two soldiers had not been part of his plans. Knowing that he needed stiches wasn't surprising but it was still rather annoying. "Better to get them out of the way now I suppose." He muttered as he toyed idly with his shirt.

He was feeling at least a little better than when he'd came to the woods. At least the tears had stopped. He wasn't entirely sure if that was because Sebastian was here or because he was really done crying. Though he was now slightly curious why the two of them were wandering around the woods. It didn't seem like they were on any sort of rounds. The other man also looked like he'd been crying. "Why were you and your...friend out here?"

[Sebastian Arcturis]

The young man earned a small respite while the captain organized needle and thread. He'd also stitched up a few people but it was not very elegant. Sebastian didn't give Ronan the same warning for the needle as he did the salve. Largely because he forgot.

"Does your family know you're being abused?" He spoke the words more or less emotionlessly, a distraction from the moment. It seemed only right the man should report the incident. From what he understood from his visit, Candlelights was a quality and respected place. Ronan allowing unsavories was bringing all of them down.

"We were visiting an old friend. And also needed to get away from the city." As vague as ever. "On our way to get a drink."

The captain noticed the hesitation on the word friend but didn't read anything into it.

[Ronan "Kitten" Lynch]

Ronan couldn't bite back the whimper that escaped him as he felt the needle pierce his skin. He bit his knuckle hard as he tried not to move knowing it would only cause him more pain in the end if he did. As he took some deep breaths through his nose to calm himself he heard the mans question.

The idea that he was being abused made him furrow his brow in confusion. "I'm not being abused." Though the wounds littering his body could suggest otherwise. Still, he shook his head at the idea. "My clients like to be rough with me is all. They pay extra they get extra." There had been times Ronan had been in fear of his life. That someone was going to take things too far. But he'd always managed to run out or call for help before that happened. It was why they had bouncers in the first place after all. He just didn't like worrying people. He wanted to be strong.

The idea that they were visiting outside of the city made him confused. Was there people that lived out in the woods? That idea would have made him giggle any other time. Though it occurred to him that maybe it wasn't a living person. There were some people buried not far off. He didn't feel the need to ask anymore about the friend they were visiting or why they were out. The thought of getting a drink though sounded nice. He didn't drink much but now seemed like the best time to get one.

[Sebastian Arcturis]

"So those were tears of happiness. I see." There was a hint of resignation there though. Fine. If the guy thought this was normal, then Bastian wasn't about to fix him. He could go fuck himself and end up dead like that and all the stitches and yarrow salve would be a waste. "They aren't paying me to fix your shit."

Being strong had nothing to do with asking for help or crying. Yet another reason he didn't find Ronan of interest.

He finished the few stitches and tied it off and then suggested Ronan turn arpund with a tug at his side.

"You two done kissin' up there or what?" Baird called. Bastian ignored him.

[Ronan "Kitten" Lynch]

He didn't like the tone in Sebastians voice. Why would he understand? Ronan wasn't about to sit here with some sob story about how his life was so hard and how he was treated so horribly. As far as he was concerned his life wasn't all that bad. He had people who loved and cared about him, a roof over his head, clothes on his back. Stress was a normal part of everyones life, he was no different. How he decided to handle that stress was up to him. "You want me to pay you then?" There was a bite to his words that he didn't normally hold.

Maybe it was his nerves. Maybe he was just tired of the day. The last thing he wanted to deal with was being spoken down to. The voice of the other man brought him back to the fact that they weren't alone. He shook his head as he debated just leaving. The comfort of sitting under a tree to let go of the wasps in his head was interrupted.

"Your friend seems less interested in me and more interested in kissing up to you." If the captain was going to ignore his friend someone needed to respond to him. Was that fair of him to say? Not entirely but he was upset.

[Sebastian Arcturis]

"No," he said, actually a little surprised by the remark, but not at all offended. His hands rested on Ronan's shoulders, confused. As much as it might be amusing, a prostitute paying him, they had already had that discussion. He also wasn't trying to claim understanding or force anything. "You cannot afford me anyway, remember. Turn around."

Sebastian glanced toward the trail and shrugged. "Do not worry about him. Even if he knew about you he would not do anything." Baird often poked fun at the captain. To hear it now meant he was feeling a little better. That was good.

[Ronan "Kitten" Lynch]

Bringing up their pervious conversation almost made him smile, if he hadn't still been upset. "Right." There was at least some comfort in the idea that Sebastian wasn't interested in him. That he could be grumpy with him or just have a conversation with him without the man trying to get him in bed. When told to turn around he sighed but did so this time.

Ronan stood long enough to turn so that he was facing the captain then dragged his fingers through his hair. "Well I'm certainly not used to men seeing me shirtless without some kind of payment." If the captain was able to make jokes so was he. The mention that his friend wouldn't do anything even if he knew he was a prostitute made him raise a brow. It wasn't as if he really tried to hide his line of work very often.

"I didn't think he was interested in men." It was better to assume otherwise.