Past Lives and Future Selves

[Camille St. James]

Camille had been in a bit of a mood for a few days after her encounter with the captain of the guard. His advice had been a touch abrasive, but he had a point. She had plenty of selves that she carried with her; she'd been dozens of people in the past. She changed her name, her appearance, her speech patterns, habits, everything she needed to blend into other places and get what she needed. It came naturally; she did it without trying, adapting herself to what she thought people wanted her to be. So naturally, in fact, that she wasn't sure who she was, or what she herself wanted to be. She'd thought that perhaps the guard would feel the same kind of searching that she did--and she'd been proven wrong in spectacular fashion. Or well, perhaps it only felt spectacular to her. 

So. The glitz and glamour of the palace had been a bust. So was dancing with 'the help.' Which meant that she needed to explore something outside of that world. She had been nervous to return to the streets where she and her sister had lived seven long years ago; she doubted that anyone remained who would recognize them, but she felt as if somehow the ghosts of her past might reach out and drag her back into that miserable life. She'd told herself that was silly, and decided to face her fears. 

Early that morning, she'd 'borrowed' some clothes from one of the servants' rooms: a white blouse  whose wide neck fell from her shoulders despite repeated attempts to pull it back up, and a faded red skirt. The brown leather corset was one of her own--she'd needed it to keep both things from nearly falling off of her entirely. Apparently she wasn't as curvy as Annabeth was. Still, with her rag curls slept on and softly tousled, no makeup or jewelry, and a pair of old boots she'd mainly used for hiking, she made a pretty believable commoner, as long as no one looked too closely at her soft hands and curious eyes.

She'd been wandering all day, watching people and exploring. Old habits had crept back in as she stole a peach off a passing cart just to see if anyone would notice. They didn't. It was a tiny thrill just to do it, but she realized she felt wrong, stealing something she didn't technically need. She chased down the cart and passed the driver a coin for the fruit. Lillia would have thought she was being stupid, she suspected, but it made her feel better. Lillia was more decisive, anyway, and would have told her to stop looking back. 

Feeling a bit silly for thinking that wandering was going to solve her problems by magically giving her a sign, she decided she might as well do some shopping. Of course the first thing that caught her eye was a bookstore; no matter what personality she was wearing for the day, some things never changed. She stepped inside and breathed deeply the smell of parchment and leather that filled the shop. She wandered the shelves, carefully avoiding a hissing cat, and purchased a new romance to read. On her way back out, she noticed a man around her own age who was sitting outside. She'd seen him working on something with a knife when she'd gone in, but she'd been too distracted by the call of books to look carefully. This time, however, she slowed down for a closer look, and saw that what he had in his hands was a wooden hummingbird--one he seemed to have made himself with a chunk of wood and that knife. She was almost hypnotized as she stopped and leaned closer to see the details, watching his hands move with careful dexterity, then caught herself and straightened back up. 

"Sorry for invading your space just then, but that's amazing! You're very skilled." 

Finnian Carver

[Finnian Carver]

Finn was in his spot. The same spot that he was surprised didn't have an imprint from his butt already in it, from how often he sat there. He was waiting for Ethan...again. Waiting for him to finish his shift with the construction, while Finn had helped on a different build site earlier. Getting done fast then most because when Finn was given a job, he did it and didn't stop until he was done. He just...had better focus then most people.

Let go early and with a bit of extra pay that he was going to use to buy some more wood with later, he'd walked to Hayden's shop, put his bag beside him, took out his whittling tools, and went to work. That low buzzing feeling he constantly felt with everything going on around him faded away, and there was silence. Just Finn in his how world while he worked away on the hummingbird he was almost done with. He normally did bears or wolves. He'd done a moose once and had really liked that, but Hayden had encouraged him to do something he'd never done before. Something...different. So he'd gone with the hummingbird, as he'd thought they were cute and vicious little buggars. The one he was currently making was life-size, as they weren't that big of birds to begin with.

He was busy scraping away the detail into the feathers, not even realizing there was somebody watching him work. He didn't even hear her as he was in his own world. That is until her hair brushed his hand when she was leaning out of his space, that he realized there was someone even in his space. It was pure reflex. Ethan knew the proper way to bring Finn out what he was focused on. Touching his head was the safest thing as it was easier to stay out of his range, and he'd learned rather quickly that when Finn was startled his first reaction was to stab and ask questions later. 

The hair brushing his hand caused him to look turn his head, and he jumped in startlement. Moving quickly, he could sense the presence of the person in his space, and with one had tightly wrapped around the humming bird, the other took the blade of his tool, twirling it expertly in is hand as he stood up to his full 6'2 height, and suddenly invaded her space, holding the blade up under her chin. It was clear she'd startled him, his breathing was quick from the rush of adrenaline, but instead of what would have been wild blue eyes, his were focused. He stared for a moment at the girl, noting every feature of her face. He could faintly smell her scent, see the way her chest rose and fell, everything. "What?" He finally spoke, his brows furrowing slightly. Thinking she might have said something. He glanced down at the blade and quickly pulled it away, seeing that she wasn't quite the threat he was expecting, and he began to sputter. "I-I'm s-sorry," His face began to turn bright red as he ran a hand through his short cropped hair. "You scared the shit out of me." He side, his eyes quickly looking around at his surroundings, making sure he was okay. His eyes drifted into the Hayden's shop before he glanced back at the girl. 

[Camille St. James]

Camille froze when the young man jumped from his seat and moved towards her; she'd been trained in a bit of combat thanks to her adoptive father, but that was when she was specifically prepared for sparring. Having a man significantly taller than her holding a knife suddenly in her space was an entirely different matter. Her brain seemed to go utterly blank for a moment as she watched his face, trying to understand what was happening. He didn't look angry, just...intense. Like he was trying to figure her out. She held perfectly still despite the racing of her heart as she tried to decide if she needed to fight, or run, or what the best course of action was.

Before she could do anything, though, he seemed to wake as if from a trance and quickly removed the blade from her throat. Just as quickly as it had begun, his sudden aggression had faded, and it was as if he was an entirely different person. The way he blushed and apologized was actually a little cute, and she might have thought he was closer to her own age based on his manner if she hadn't seen the other version. She made a mental note not to startle him again, if at all possible. She was willing to bet that this man had been through even worse than she had to make him react to a simple greeting like that. It actually sent a little pang of sadness through her heart, although she didn't know what could have made him so tense. She swallowed hard and made herself smile in spite of the adrenaline still running through her veins as she raised her hands in a gesture of surrender. The smile was still a little shaky, but she hoped it would convey that she didn't mean any harm.

"No, I'm sorry, that was my fault. I didn't mean to startle you like that. You must have been awfully focused on what you were doing, and I did kind of come out of nowhere." She wiped her suddenly clammy palms on her skirt, then gestured to the hand that was still gripping the little hummingbird he'd been working on. She hoped he hadn't crushed its thin wings or beak, clenching it like that. It would be such a waste to have ruined it just because she was nosy. "I was just saying that you're really skilled, um, with your carving. It's really beautiful."

[Finnian Carver]

Finn ran a hand down his face. Something Ethan would have done most likely if he was here and in a similar situation. Though, Ethan probably wouldn't have done what he'd just done. Ethan could control his Gramarye. Turn his "off" so to speak. Finn? Finn couldn't. After thirteen years of living with it, he still struggled. Someone had to bring him out when he got too focused on something or else he'd be sitting there all night until the bird was done or he passed out from sleep, and he someone managed to pull himself out, but that only happened if he really had to pee or was starving. He was embarrassed and he couldn't just flat out say "sorry my mystic ability makes me stab people who sneak up on be because I'm so into what I'm doing, I can't pay attention to anything else." Yeah...Like that would go over well... 

He caught the slightest of movement from behind the girl, and Finn looked up to see Hayden in the doorway of her shop. A startled look on her face for a moment, but it was enough for Finn to know she'd seen what had almost just happened. "You okay?" She mouthed to him. He gave a short curt nod, before glancing away. Even more embarrassed now. He ran a hand through his hair again. His eyes adverted for the moment, before they flicked back up to the girl, and his hand slowly came down from where it had been resting on top of his head. He glanced into his hand at the bird, examining it quickly. Thankfully he'd chosen a strong madrone to carve the wood  from. Otherwise the beak probably would have been crushed and ruined. 

"Oh." Finn mumbled after hearing what the girl had to say. He....well...he really didn't know what to say. He'd never really had anyone but Ethan and Hayden comment on his carvings, and he'd been just this awkward with Hayden when she'd asked. "Uh...Thanks?" He said. Reaching up to run a hand through his hair. He was looking down at the humming bird again, before he slowly, albeit hesitantly held it out for her to look at. "Its...I just do it." He said quietly. "Keeps my hands busy." He'd be a fidgeting nervous wreck otherwise. Maybe not right now as the street wasn't that busy, but when everyone was heading home from their work day? Talk about a sensory overload. 

[Camille St. James]

Camille was quiet while he ran his hand down his face and tried to recover; the man seemed to be re-evaluating his initial reaction to her and trying to catch up on the reality of the situation. She didn't mind--it gave her heart a chance to get back into a normal rhythm after it had stopped earlier! She noticed the bookstore owner checking on him, and it actually made her smile a bit warmer, more relaxed. That was sweet, and it showed that the two were friendly with each other too. He must sit out here often, which meant he must trust the bookstore owner, and vice versa.

"You're so welcome," Camille replied to his 'thanks' with a grin, sounding surprisingly genuine even on such a rote phrase. In the back of her mind, she wished he hadn't run his hand through his hair like that...it made her want to touch it. It looked soft. Thankfully, he was holding up the little carved bird, now, which was plenty to redirect her mind. She reached out to touch the delicate feather details with the tip of one finger as if she were afraid her clumsy hands might cause the wooden bird to suddenly fly away. She wouldn't dare take it from his hands, not from worry about him acting aggressively again, but because she truly didn't want to damage it. The wood was warm beneath her touch and the gentle ridges of the feathers felt almost real. She beamed up at the man, utterly amazed by his ability to make something this beautiful out of simple wood.

"Don't be so quick to undervalue your work--" She cut off abruptly: her mouth was still open for a moment before she closed it, then her brow furrowed for a moment before she continued, "--I'm sorry, I didn't get your name." She stepped back a little and offered her hand to shake. "I'm Cami."

[Finnian Carver]

Finn was looking at the girl again. It was hard not to with her making him focus on her. He still had an hour or so before Ethan would be done, and there was still too many people out. It was either her, go in and talk to Hayd, or whittle. Or else he'd go nuts. She grinned wider at him, and his eyes narrowed just a slight fraction. He couldn't help it. He didn't trust people, and was leery of strangers. Woman or no. She hadn't yelled or screamed at him for nearly stabbing her with the knife, and it made him curious. She'd had some experience in combat then, or just expected when she startled strangers they'd try and stab her.  He caught the slight flicker in her eyes as he ran in hand through his hair, and for a second wondered if he had something in it. It made him run it through his hair for a third time. Nope, nothing there.

He watched her look at the carving and he held especially still, noting she bit her nails from how short they were. Nervous habit? He wondered. He caught the scent of her perfume again, rose water? Maybe?  Why did a commoner smell....less stinky? His eyes slowly roamed over her, in an assessing manner. Noting her hands looked soft as well, and her hair seemed to be well cared for. She was dressed like a commoner,  looked like a commoner at first glance, but if someone took in all the facts, all the details of the girl in front of him, they'd find she was not. She was pretending. Noble.  His first thought was. He suddenly felt even worse for nearly stabbing her. If he had, he'd been in more shit than he already was. It made him nervous, but he reminded himself he hadn't done it. And she was doing this for a reason. Whether to sneak away for her own enjoyment, or something else. It wasn't his business. 

As she moved her head to look up at him, that smile still on her face, his eyes were intensely looking into hers. They were always intense. He was told more times then not, that it was a bit unsettling sometimes when he talked to a person because when he looked at a person, he looked at a person.  He blinked, staring at her for a moment longer, before he looked back down at the bird. His head canting to the side slightly as she told him not to undervalue his work. He didn't...He just....did it. It was hard to explain, and Finn was very humble. Not liking attention drawn to him. His fingers wrapped around the bird and he let his hand fall at his side, before those bright blues looked at her and then her hand. Wait, what? He looked at her hand, and then back at her. Cami. That was her name. He slowly reached out to shake her hand. Silent for a moment. "Finnian." He mumbled. "Sorry about the-" He waggled the blade up and gestured under his own chin with it. "Thing." He said. Letting go of her hand, but not before seeing he'd been right. Her hand was too soft to be working hands. 

[Camille St. James]

Camille was safe, this time, when he ran his hand through his hair--she was too focused on the bird to notice. The way he was looking at her once she looked up, though, was hard to miss. It wasn't like some of the men she'd met in court, where it made her feel kind of slimy. She couldn't really describe why, but she felt like he was really paying attention to her, which was equal parts pleasant and intimidating. She appreciated it when people actually listened to her, but people who paid too close of attention were usually the ones to avoid, in her experience. Of course, her realm of experience was mainly in theft, so that might not be the best frame of reference. Plus, his eyes were pretty. Of course, that wasn't going to make him any less dangerous seeing as he was paying very close attention to her and had a knife, but it was still nice. Actually...he was pretty handsome in general.

Oh, don't you go there, she mentally warned herself, That got you into enough trouble already this week. No more crushes on men you don't know anything about! Rather unhelpfully, another part of her brain answered: Fine, so I'll learn more about this one first. She was too smart for her own arguments. How unfortunate.

"Nice to meet you, Finnian. And really, don't undervalue your work! You're very talented." She shook his hand firmly when he finally returned the gesture and laughed gently at his repeated apology.

"Really, it's fine. No harm done, after all," she assured, waving her hand gently as if to brush away the offense. "It was probably a little strange of me to be in your personal space like that anyway. The hummingbird just caught my eye." She shrugged slightly. "I'm just the kind of person who likes to meet new people, so I didn't think before I interrupted."

She tilted her head and looked to the side slightly as she mentally reviewed what she'd done. "You didn't hear what I said the first time, though...so what was it that surprised you?" she asked curiously, her eyes back on him, but head still tilted. "I didn't tap you or anything..."

[Finnian Carver]

Finn averted his eyes for a moment, before they were back on hers. A dark enough brown he'd consider them to be almost black unless the sun hit them just right and they turned a dark amber. "It's not talent." He corrected. He wasn't talented. It was just...his gramayre. It made him pay attention to the details that's all it was. And lots and lots of practice. "Practice." He said simply. He wasn't a believer in talent. He was a believer in passion and have a drive to do something you enjoyed. He had his whittling and his sketch books. They were full of hours upon hours of work, all to distract his mind from the outside world. To calm him. Chill him out. That's all it was. Some people just...picked it up easier than others.

He listened to her reasoning, not really commenting on it. He could tell she liked to talk and meet people from that grin she had, it didn't seem to fade away. He watched as she went quiet then. Tilting her head slightly, as she thought about something. She asked then how she'd startled him if he hadn't heard her. "Your hair." He said simply. Motioning to it with the knife. "Brushed my hand." He said giving her the answer. "I uh..." He could feel his embarrassment coming back and he put the knife in his belt before he ran his hand down his face, and then back up through his hair. How to explain this without giving himself away or sounding like a freak? He felt his cheeks growing flush, and his eyes darted to Hayden's doorway, seeing that Lucifer had walked by the door way, and was yelling at Hayden from inside the door.

He glanced back at her. "You know how like.... artists get lost in their own world? Where they're just focused on what they're working on, and don't pay attention to anything else?" He said slowly. "That's uh...me." He explained. "I just....When I'm in that world, I don't come out." He averted his eyes again, looking down instead at the hummingbird he still held in his hand. "I'm jumpy when people touch me and I'm in the...zone." He mumbled. That was putting it lightly. When Finn was focused he went in deep. Especially with detail work. He waved his hand over the hummingbird, blocking it from his view. "Blocking my view of what I'm working on is less...startling." He explained. He could at least catch sight of the fingers coming in from his peripheral. And if they blocked what he was focused on, the focus would be broke. Ethan always touched the top of his head, providing a safe enough distance for himself, but Finn also just knew it was an Ethan thing. No one else would know. The safest way for anyone to get his attention was waving their hands in front of his face.

[Camille St. James]

Practice? Not talent? Hm, she kind of liked that. It was reassuring to think you didn't have to be automatically good at something to be able to do it well. Still, she didn't think she'd be able to do what he did with a knife; she just didn't have the dexterity for that kind of thing. Either way, she smiled softly and nodded, echoing him to correct herself. "Practice. So, skill, then, something you learn over time. You're skilled." She persisted in complimenting him, partially out of stubbornness, and partially because she kind of thought it was cute that he was flustered. Her smile had just a hint of mischief for a moment before she caught herself.

Her hair? Her brow furrowed in confusion, but he seemed to realize that, and continued to explain. Ah, but he was playing with his hair again, and she almost got distracted. She hoped her cheeks weren't too pink, but he looked back into the store and she used that time to try and compose herself. Her face was calm now, but curious, as he explained about being lost in his own world. It made perfect sense to her. She could be like that sometimes if she was reading a particularly good book. It didn't happen often, but she had at least a basic understanding of what he was describing. This was a lot more intense, though...kind of like everything about Finnian, so far. Intense reactions, intense eyes, intense focus... She wondered if he was using the same focus on her, earlier. She didn't really think she was worth the same amount of attention as the hummingbird.

"Don't touch. Getting in your line of sight is better," she summarized with a nod. "I'll make sure to remember that, next time. I definitely don't want to give you a heart attack every time I stop by the shop." She wondered if that was going to bother him, that she planned on talking to him again. But he had told her how to get his attention next time, so...he wouldn't have told her if she wasn't allowed to do it, right?

"You must be out here a lot, right? You and the owner seem like friends." She explained herself right away, trying to un-creepify the observation. "So if I come back for another book, I might run into you again. And maybe I'll make a better impression." She laughed a little at that.

[Finnian Carver]

Finn's eyes narrowed as she talked about next time. Next time? What next time. There wouldn't be a next time. Hopefully Ethan would be done with his job and then they could move again. This was temporary. It was always temporary. The brothers didn't get close to people. They didn't trust people, they just did what they had to to survive. Finn was starting to wonder what was so survival worthy of Hayden that Ethan even kept coming around here. Finn didn't see why he just didn't buy a stack of books to last him for a while, rather then keep coming in. Sure, Hayden was nice. Once she warmed up to you at least, but Finn was starting to notice...strange things...about his brother.

Finn didn't have the heart, nor the care to tell Cami he wouldn't be outside of the store for that much longer if everything went according to plan. His expression was blank as he looked at Cami, his eyes flickering back to the store before back to her. "My brother and her are...friends." He said. Not knowing what to call Hayden and Ethan's relationship. "I just sit outside." He said rather flatly. Gesturing to the bench behind him. He couldn't help but smirk then at her laugh. It was the smallest of things. But there was a small corner of his mouth turning up. "You can try." He said. "I'm bit of an asshole." Not as big of one as Ethan.... But Finn really didn't trust people. And if Ethan was there to do the talking, and get a feel for this girl, Finn might have been a bit warmer. Instead he was just...Intense. Like always.

[Camille St. James]

Hm. Not friends, huh? She pegged the relationship between his brother and the owner as a flirtation right off the bat, based on his hesitation, but apparently that made him unsure of where he himself stood. It sounded a little sad, being the one who "just" sits outside. The bookstore owner had been worried about him, it seemed, but apparently he wasn't interested in being her friend just yet either. She'd like to give him a friend of his own, she thought, but maybe that was pushing things. He didn't seem too eager to chit-chat. But again...he hadn't told her to get lost yet and she wasn't able to ignore the opening that left.

"You can try,"

Ooh, she saw that hint of a smile! It brought a returning grin of her own as she latched onto that tiny piece of positive feedback. That was definitely permission to come to talk to him again. Not a promise, but permission. And she could work with that.

"I'm a bit of an asshole."

Now that really did make Camille laugh, a high, genuine sound that crinkled her eyes and nose before she remembered her manners and covered her mouth. An asshole? Him? Maybe she shouldn't be cracking up like this, but it felt good to laugh. It had been a while since she found something truly funny like this. Once she recovered somewhat, she shook her head at him and put her hands on her hips.

"Finnian, I've met some assholes in my life, and I don't think that's you. If you were really an asshole, you'd have just stabbed me anyway, and I doubt you'd have apologized twice." She tried to smother her smile, but it lingered in the crinkle of her eyes.

"Be prepared, because I am absolutely going to try to make a good impression on you. Maybe we'll even be friends!" She raised her eyebrows and one shoulder at the suggestion, looking at him over her shoulder in what was the closest she'd come to flirting this whole time. Playful, maybe. She turned to go, then glanced back at him over her shoulder. "See you next time!" She waved with the hand that held her book. "I'll be back as soon as I finish this one."

[Finnian Carver]

For a moment, Finn wondered what was so funny about him being an asshole unless she didn't believe him. He noted that way her laugh sounded. Detecting the genuinety of it as it rang out and the way her face contorted with the laugh before she was covering her mouth. As if to prove his point he just continued to stare blankly at her even if it was a nice a laugh. An eyebrow twitched as she shook her head and placed her hands on her hips, staring up at him. 

"That's not being an asshole, that's called murder." He pointed out as she said he wasn't one. He hated to break it to her, but really was. "No." He said, his tone deadpan as she said she'd try to make a good impression on him and try to be his friend. The only friend he needed was Ethan. That was good enough for him. He didn't...need friends. It would only be a matter of time she thought he was a freak anyway so why try? Save himself possible hurt down the line. It didn't matter if she tried to be cute while she said it, it wasn't going to work.  Not on him at least. The Carver Boys were stubborn fucks and she was going to realize real quick how stubborn he really was. 

"I hope not." He muttered, as he turned away from her and went back to his bench. He could practically feel Hayden's eyes watching him and he ignored her as he sat on the bench and pulled out his work again. Shaking his head. What was with girls wanting to be his and his brothers friends? Ick.