A Talk in the Courtyard [log]

[Aric Demarais]

[ this takes place right after "The Night Before the Banquet. ]

[ARIC]
A part of his mind was telling him to just let it be. To let things cool off so that they could both get through the next night and for however much longer Edward decided to remain in Elysium. But he couldn't get Orin's words out of his head, and although Aric didn't think he had anything to apologize for, he was still standing outside the queen's window. This wasn't the most ideal, but sue him for being afraid of finding himself in the same spot as last time...and the time before that. He lost track of how many times he almost made a complete fool of himself.
Contemplating for a minute longer, he finally bent to pick up a small pebble from the ground and chucked it towards her window. The first try missed, but his second throw managed to hit the window's glass with a gentle pinging sound. Aric threw a third one for good measure, in case she hadn't heard it.


[ALEXANDRIA]
She had been dreading the moment the king arrived, not knowing how bad he could actually be. But now after getting a taste of it, she was panicking even more for tomorrow night's banquet. Even with three other people there, Edward had managed to make her feel awful. And why did she lash out at Aric like that? He only tried to help and stand up for her. It was in the heat of the moment--the anger that she felt for, once again, being made inferior for just being a woman.
She had returned to her chambers, and collapsed onto her bed, allowing herself to cry out all of her anger and upset. She didn't know what else to do. If only they could make time go forward so this all would be over now.
She had started to doze slightly, when there was that tapping sound on her window. It sounded louder than it actually was as she was beginning to doze. It startled her and she glanced around her room, only to find silence. Then there was that noise again, and she heard it on the window. Slowly she stepped towards it and opened it, peering out. It was then she saw Aric standing there, looking up at her. Brows furrowed with confusion and she spoke out. "Aric? What are you doing?"


[ARIC]
Yes, he was an idiot. He was thinking this after he threw that third pebble, and especially when she actually came to the window. The night was chilly, and perhaps it was wrong of him to request that she come out in it, but it just seemed...safer. As childish as that seemed.
There was a faint smile on his face, so faint that she probably wouldn't be able to notice it from all the way up there. "Could we talk? Please?" he called up in a whisper. He didn't want to wake up the rest of the castle, if anyone even managed to fall asleep after rushing around for a quick five minute meeting with a king.


[ALEXANDRIA]
She pulled her robes tighter around herself to block out the cold that now came in through the window. When he asked if they could talk, she gave him a puzzled look. "Now? Do you want me to come out?" It was rather awkward speaking out a window, and she wondered why he didn't just come knock on her door. Then again, the last time they spoke in her room, they nearly kissed. Perhaps this was why he didn't. She frowned slightly, realizing that maybe he had been avoiding her for that very reason.


[ARIC]
Oh yes, that was exactly why, but she had been the one to dismiss him the way she had. Nevertheless, he was there now (in a matter of speaking), and wasn't willing to go to bed without speaking about his damned brother's insensitivity. "Yes, please," he answered with a gesture of his hand. "If you don't mind?"


[ALEXANDRIA]
She nodded and stepped away from the window, closing it behind her. She threw a shawl made of fur around herself, put her shoes back on and made her way out to the courtyard where Aric was. The wind was cold, and caused her to pull the shawl tighter around herself as she walked to where her future husband was. She stopped when she was a good six feet from him, standing there, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, her raven locks of hair trembling in the wind. She studied him carefully and before he could say anything, Alexandria spoke quickly. "I'm sorry for lashing out at you... I did not mean it...I just--" She didn't finish her sentence, not really knowing what else to say to him, then.


[ARIC]
Alexandria didn't have to finish, because he was already doing it for her. "I know," he said immediately in response. If anyone understood, it was him, because Edward infuriated him until no end. He did notice how far away she stopped from him, and it made his posture slacken somewhat with a gentle sigh of defeat. "Understand that my brother would have reacted the same way regardless," Aric tried to explain calmly. "It's...simply who he is. But it is not who I am." He took a single step forward, his breath leaving his lips in gentle puffs of white air from the cold. "We are to be partners in everything, Alexandria, and that was what I was trying to do."


[ALEXANDRIA]
Sapphire hued eyes watched Aric as he spoke, and she nodded in understanding. "I know that's not who you are..." She sighed, her breath looking like a cloud of smoke disappearing into the cold. "I just am used to men trying to speak for me.... For making me feel insignificant..." She frowned and closed her eyes for a brief moment. Part of her wanted to embrace him, then, but she kept her feet planted where they were. Eyes reopened when he spoke of them being partners, and it brought a soft smile to the corners of her lips. "You're right...And I appreciate you thinking that way, rather than what your brother might expect of you... Taking over my kingdom, and me."


[ARIC]
He, too, had the urge to step even closer, especially while she held that shawl around her tightly. Perhaps it was wrong of him to ask her to step outside, but he didn't know what to think. And he didn't even know what to believe or if he could trust himself. At least, he smiled lightly in response to her own. "I'm sorry if that's how I made you feel." At the mention of Edward, his gaze dropped to the cold ground while he held back another sigh. "Just understand...it may only get worse with him. Tomorrow night will be difficult, I won't lie." But, at least, she wouldn't be alone.


[ALEXANDRIA]
She took a step closer, almost involuntarily, but then hesitated and stopped again, her hands coming to clasp her shawl closed up by her neck to block the cold. Her gaze also dropped as Aric mentioned things could potentially get worse with Edward. She shook her head and let out a sigh before she lifted her eyes back onto Aric. "How do I handle him without getting upset? Without letting him see me vulnerable and weak? What if I say the wrong things? What if he decides to back out of this agreement because I am not right or good enough for you... and he decides to stop helping Elysium? I don't know what I would do then..." She covered her face in her hands, choking back her tears. Her fingers were trembling again.


[ARIC]
There she went, hesitating again, and he nearly asked what he may have done, if he had crossed the line the other night. But she was talking, and he finally sighed again because he wasn't really sure how to answer her. There really was no true answer; Edward was a complicated man. "I'm not really sure..." he finally said, looking defeated. "Sometimes, I don't even know how to deal with him. I just...do." Rubbing the back of his neck in thought, he continued, "You just need to be yourself, Alexandria. Smile even when he's being cruel. It's not easy, but you're stronger than you believe." He could see her trembling hands as she covered her face, and Aric couldn't stop himself from moving a little closer. Still, he did not reach for her. He couldn't. "He won't back out," he said. How could he explain that Edward didn't care about someone being worthy of his brother, but that Elysium would provide him and Tresteria with necessary resources?


[ALEXANDRIA]
She lifted her gaze again when Aric spoke, finding him closer to her now. If he was close enough, he'd be able to see the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. Alexandria was feeling defeated, and the banquet hadn't even happened yet. She did not feel strong, as Aric claimed her to be. She wasn't sure how much fight she had left in her. "How do you know he will not back out? What if he sees I am not worth it? Or that there is nothing I or Elysium can offer him worth his troubles?" They had signed a treaty that once Elysium had been restored, they would provide trades of various goods that were grown on their land that Tresteria did not have access to. But if they did not succeed in restoring their lands and could not grow such things, how would this work? She was surprised Edward actually took the agreement without a full guarantee.


[ARIC]
Alexandria was starting to stress even more, if that were even possible. And it was this that made him step forward finally and rest his hands upon her shoulders. "Listen to me," he said softly. He was beginning to feel the cold now, but he ignored it. "It's going to be fine. This is a business deal for him, and it's sealed. It's sounds horrible, and I'm sorry...but after everything, it will make your kingdom prosper even more." Aric felt like he could repeat this over and over again, and it wouldn't help. Nor could he blame her for being so upset about it. "Do you trust me?" he finally asked, so suddenly. His mouth moved without consulting his brain again.


[ALEXANDRIA]
He was close to her again, and she felt her cheeks flush with warmth as his hands fell upon her shoulders. Her eyes lifted to look at him as he explained to her, again, that this was all just a business deal for him and it was settled and final. She could only nod in response, not knowing what else to say. But when he questioned her if she trusted him, she gave him a puzzled look and slowly nodded. "I think so..." She thought quietly, thinking that perhaps that may not be what he was hoping for her to say. "I mean, you have not given me a reason not to, so yes, I trust you..."


[ARIC]
"Then trust me with this, that I will not let anything go wrong, alright?" If there was anything he could do, it was handling his brother. He'd been doing it for his entire life and knew how the man worked. "I will not let you fail. I promise. If that is all I can bring to this union, I will be the foundation you need." Even if it meant nothing else. Even if they were to wed, being husband and wife only by name.


[ALEXANDRIA]
She simply gave Aric a nod in response. If he were to be her husband, she needed to learn to put her full trust in him. He would be there to help her get through this visit with Edward. Aric had displayed he was very much on her side in this, and for that, she was grateful. But at Aric's next promise, Alexandria just stood and stared at him. There was a hint of admiration in her eyes. He was being so kind to her, and it was the way he spoke to her...the way he assured her, that lured her into him the times before and made her want to kiss him. That almost got them into trouble. And as she stood there in her hesitation, awkwardly staring at him in silence, she realized that she had yet to say anything to him. Her voice cracked and she stammered a bit with her words. "I... I..uh.. I think that...." She struggled to get her words out. She wanted to tell him that she hoped he would be more than just a business deal... a union. But she feared sounding ridiculous. She feared telling him her feelings, because she wasn't sure he'd want to hear them... especially if he still mourned his late wife and wasn't ready to move on. She didn't want to make him feel like she was some foolish girl with an infatuation. She sighed softly and shook her head. "Thank you, is all I meant to say..." No it wasn't, though. Her eyes searched his own before she glanced away from him, fearing if she looked any longer, he'd see her true feelings.


[ARIC]
Why was he holding his breath? Why was he staring at her like he was suddenly expecting her to say something, the very thing that rested at the tip of his tongue but he could not utter? He still held gently to her shoulders, wishing nothing but to reach over and catch her unshed tears before they fell.
"What?" he asked gently as she stammered. Perhaps he sounded a little hopeful, that the other night hadn't ruined everything. That he somehow misconstrued her blunt dismissal. But when she finally answered, his posture slumped and he was having to hold back another sigh. This one of confusing defeat.
He answered her, his voice low and quiet, "Of course." Aric wanted to say something more, anything, but he was a coward in that very moment. Tension was high as is because of Edward's visit...perhaps he shouldn't make it worse, lest her actions the other night expressed just how she felt about him. Alexandria wasn't a cruel woman by any means, but he knew of her sorrows. Maybe she wasn't willing to let them go, even though he was flesh and blood standing right in front of her. And he had to accept that.
Fully realizing how cold it was, he gestured towards the castle. "Sorry for dragging you out here. I wasn't thinking." He took an appropriate step away as he began to make his way back inside if she followed. "Far colder than I thought," he mused with a light grin, feeling somewhat foolish.


[ALEXANDRIA]
A silent sigh of relief escaped her nose as Aric didn't press her any further on what she may have said. Had he even noticed that look in her eyes? She was trying so hard to hide it--Even from herself. She could not afford another heartbreak, and pushing away may have been the easiest way to prevent that. But why did he make it so difficult for her? Why did she feel as if he were resisting her too? Then she thought of Cassandra's words. He was afraid, too, so why not be afraid together? She honestly wasn't sure how to make that work or if it made any sense.
She finally looked back at Aric as he stepped away from her and apologized for asking her to come out into the cold. She had forgotten about it as he stood so close to her, as her heart thumped wildly in her chest with her nervousness. She forced a bit of a smile. "It's quite alright... The fresh air helped calm myself a bit..." She followed him back towards the entrance and into the warmth of the castle, away from the wind. She turned to look at him again and her mouth opened to say something. She wanted to bring up that night... to ask him if he was upset with her for dismissing him the way she had. But she didn't want to remind him that she had almost kissed him and made a complete fool of herself. She just closed her mouth again and brushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. Once again, she stood there awkwardly frozen, staring at him like she needed to say something, but couldn't get it out. Finally, she spoke very silently. "It was nice to see you... I hope you can get some sleep."


[ARIC]
All he could do was stand there, watching her in the awkward silence after the wind had gone and they stood in the halls of the castle. Perhaps he hid it a little better, but he was suffering just as much as she was. It did bother him, how she had dismissed him, leaving everything all confused and up in the air like that. It made him feel like a horrid person for daring to get that close...after all she had confessed to him before about her past. He had overstepped, and now, he may have ruined this. Whatever it was.
That was everything he wanted to tell her right then and there, but didn't. He couldn't. Instead, he bowed his head in that respectful way, his gaze downcast to the floor for a brief moment before lifting to her face once again. "You too, your majesty. Sleep well..." This time he didn't offer to walk her to her room, and this time he didn't walk away. He would wait there for her to turn away first so that he could take in the silent castle corridor and the sound of his own pounding heart.


[ALEXANDRIA]
But she didn't turn to walk away right away. Instead, she awkwardly stood there, as if her feet were glued to the floor. She could not remember if he had always used such formalities with her, or if that was something he started doing again after that night. Her lips parted to speak, and her voice nervously cracked again, like there was something caught in her throat. "Alexandria... Please call me Alexandria." She took his hand into her own frozen one and squeezed gently before releasing it, offering him a soft smile. Perhaps it was her subtle way of telling him that all was fine and he did not need to worry on whether or not he ruined things between them. It was just, complicated. "Goodnight." She took a few slow steps backwards, away from him before turning and walking back down the hall, slowly disappearing from his sight.


[ARIC]
Those dark eyes didn't waver, even as she struggled to find words. As much as he wanted to deny everything, he saw something on her face, within those sapphire eyes that tugged at him. And yet, he couldn't move even as she took his hand in that brief, fleeting moment. There came a wry smile, curling up one corner of his mouth as she bid him farewell. "Goodnight... " he said quietly as she turned and left him. "Alexandria."